Against the Grain
by CanYouLoveTheImaginary
Summary: RL/GW What happens when being happy means chancing all the odds? Ginny Weasley knows that it's not just as easy as them loving each other. Not when the storm is coming and she's caught in the middle of it all. Disregards book 6&7 ! COMPLETE !
1. Opening

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

Author's Note: I've decided to write a Ginny and Remus story because I find that there aren't NEARLY enough and I would like to read more of them (_hint, hint _fellow authors). So I hope that since you're reading this, you are ALSO a fan of the pairing or if not, hopefully you will become one! Enjoy!

**Chapter One**

"_Ginevra Weasley, _get down here this minute!" I knew I couldn't ignore her any longer (as I had tactfully been doing these last five minutes); mum _never _calls me by my full name unless she's annoyed. So, with a large sigh for my own personal benefit, I closed my book for probably the tenth time already that day. Swinging my legs of the side of my loudly creaking bed, I made my way out of my room and down to the source of my mother's summoning voice.

This was my family's second summer staying at 12 Grimmauld, and frankly I'd had more than enough. You would think that being housed in the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters would provide enough excitement to spin one's head what with the war so close approaching and Voldemort's new rise to power, but not when you're the only female under the age of thirty five. Even being the only underage daughter of the leading family of supporters doesn't increase my chances of being included into anything. Especially as I am _not_ best friends with the wizarding world's _saviour, _unlike a certain other underage member of my family. As Harry is the Boy Who Lived there is really no questioning his inclusion in Order proceedings (much to the displeasure of my overly fond mother) but Ron is simply allowed in because Harry is just going to tell Ron and Hermione everything anyways. Not fair, I would say.

It wasn't only my being ostracized from the group of people trying to fight against an evil madman that I wanted destroyed as much as the next witch, but I was constantly having my days of forlorn lethargy being disrupted. There was nowhere in the entire gloomy house that I could sit for more than twenty minutes before being asked to leave whilst the adults talk "Order business". I've gotten more than one telling off from my father for asking if it were so difficult to find a room that I was not in. If it wasn't that, it my mother wanting me to help her get ready for another member's arrival. This usually consisted of heavy amounts of dusting and cooking which apparently male members of the family are incapable of comprehending. With Kreacher gone (Dumbledore had employed him at Hogwarts as he had too much knowledge of the Order to be given clothes and his betrayal last summer made it too difficult to keep him around those of us who had cared for his Master) I became the resident House Elf, thought without the job satisfaction. So when I was called down, I naturally assumed the worst.

Funny enough, I was right.

I hadn't even fully stepped into the kitchen before she was already berating me from above a boiling cauldron. "Did you not hear me calling? I've been at it for five minutes!" she scowled angrily and continued (oh trust me, I _heard _her), "Remus Lupin is coming tonight; he'll be staying here for the last two weeks of the summer. I would like you to get Sirius' room ready for him." Before I even had the chance to open my mouth, Mum's whole posture suddenly grew extremely tired and weary and I felt my own displeasure melt away. Sirius and her never fully saw eye to eye where Harry was concerned. Some not-so-nice words were exchanged on both sides and more than one's feelings were bruised. For someone so motherly and loving, it absolutely crushed her that she would now never get the chance to make amends.

Sirius' room hadn't been touched since the end of the last school year. It had become a sort of taboo or _off limits _zone. Until now, apparently. "Mum, I don't think it's right that I should be the one―

"Ginny, it needs to be done," all trace of annoyance gone. "It's been over a month. Dumbledore took Harry at the start of the summer to take all the personal things he'd like to keep. Likewise, Remus came last month during an Order meeting. We haven't any more beds to spare with the twins staying. Someone's got to do it, dear."

"Mum, but what about Ron or―

Her momentary lapse into regret slowly fading. "Ginny, the last time I asked your brother to clean up and sort through anything, I spent two hours repairing the disaster he created. I'm not going to ask you again." And that was that. She turned around to move a pot of hot water onto the stove and I stopped arguing because once she flipped the cooking switch you had little chance of being heard. Grumbling to myself about how predictably unfair my mother was and how inept all my brothers proved to be, I turned out of the kitchen.

I walked all the way back upstairs to the fourth floor and stood awkwardly in front of the only closed door. I hadn't been in since last Christmas. Actually, I'd _only_ ever been in last Christmas. You see, I never really got as close to him as Harry, Ron and Hermione did. Then again, I hadn't saved his life and helped him escape from right under the Ministry's nose in _my _third year. I had always wanted to get to know him better but in a way, our similarities did give us a sort or connection. It was an often occurrence for the two of us to be found downstairs with a book after everyone else had gone to bed. Words were never really shared, but the silence was comfortable and the company appreciated. It was the night before we were going back to school under the new rule of the Defence Against Nothing sociopath, Umbridge. Our holidays, though perhaps beginning with a rough start were going to be sorely missed and not just by us returning students. I decided to go say goodnight to Sirius (something I had never really felt compelled to officially do before). It was something in the way he smiled and laughed all evening. There was a desperation in it, like he didn't want anyone to see the sadness in him. I could understand his pain though; being locked in this house every hour of every day... I couldn't believe he was still capable of keeping it all internalized. Especially after twelve years in Azkaban, freed only to be contained in another sort of prison. I felt horrible.

I knocked on his door and he let me in. Too exhausted to fake cheerfulness, he didn't say much at first, busying himself with feeding Buckbeak from a bucket of rats while I forced myself not to think about where he'd gotten them all from. He offered me a seat at the end of his bed while he sat at his desk to scratch Buckbeak's head on his lap. Not caring that we'd never really spoken alone to one another except the one time he apologized for the lovely Mrs. Black calling me a traitorous filthy whore (she was always so charming), I told him that I didn't think it was fair for him to have to be locked in a house that obviously brought nothing but bad memories back to him. He tried to feebly tell me that it was for the best, and how Dumbledore knew what needed to be done, but somehow something in him stopped being able to pretend and he let it all just poured out of him. First he talked about how he much he wished he could help, to make up for the pain inside him at having made the Potters choose Peter as their Secret Keeper. He spoke of his inability to perform the only duty left to him by James and Lily: taking care of their son as his godfather. It dawned on me that I was probably the first person he'd opened up to about these feelings of his. Or maybe I was just the first person who was really there to listen. Whatever it was, in a matter of minutes we connected deeper than the whole year I'd known him. At last he spoke of how lonely he felt in his old home with only ghost memories to keep him company. How he'd missed his whole life and had nothing to show for it, nothing to make his suffering seem worth it. Somehow, I cried as if his pain were my own.

Since I was too upset to be of much comfort to him (_well done, Ginny_), he changed the subject and started telling stories from his days at Hogwarts to cheer me up. Although I guiltily felt that that was very backwards, in the end, looking back at the richness of his life at school, his spirits rose too. I will never forget the tears of laughter in his eyes when he recounted a particularly elaborate incident involving him and James dressing in drag to sneak down into the Slytherin common room to pull a prank on their house during O.W.L.s week. He had to wipe a few stray tears as he informed me that Lupin had forewarned them all as punishment for him and James not taking their exams seriously and causing him no amount of distraction. By the next morning, posters of them in full make-up were posted on every notice board in the school. He was adamant that McGonagall must still have a framed copy somewhere hidden in her office. Finally as it got incredibly late, after we exchanged yawns I said my intended goodnight and gave him as big a hug as I could manage (something I wouldn't have potentially been comfortable doing hours earlier).

That was the last time I ever spoke to him.

Standing there at his door, it was almost too easy to forget that he was actually gone. That he couldn't be on the other side. That I wouldn't push open the door and see the remains of Buckbeak's last snack. I blinked away the tears that were threatening to form and then I turned the handle and pushed it open. The air was slightly stale as no one had been in for so long, but other than that, nothing suggested that its previous owner was never coming back.

I pulled out my wand, looked down the hall to make sure no one was around, and walked in, doing a quick spell to remove the light layer of dusting on everything in the room. I didn't need to worry about underage magic because the entire house was filled with witches and wizards, it would be impossible to pinpoint who had done which piece of magic (something I picked up from Gred and Forge, my most favourite, helpful twin brothers). Something I _did _have to worry about was the thorough scolding I would get if either of my parents caught me. I was doubly pleased by my rebellious act because nearly immediately the air smelt cleaner (something else I had learned from the twins' experiences).

Definitely not a slob like my aforementioned siblings, but I wouldn't go so far as calling him Supreme Clean, either. Looking around at all the bits and ends I'd have to organize and put away, I decided to start easy. The bed was made, but the sheets had certainly not been changed since he last slept here, and I was certain Lupin would prefer a fresh set; I honestly would. I made a plan of attack and stripped all the old sheets off and put them in a hamper. Next I had to go downstairs and bring up a fresh set to remake the bed. Getting into the swing of things, I started humming (and sometimes singing, I'll admit) the last few lines of the school anthem that just wouldn't get out of my head, _"..._j_ust do your best, we'll do the rest, and learn until our brains all rot." _I suppose I must have been louder than I thought because Ron popped his head out the door to see what I was doing and then he promptly went back into his room to finish writing a letter to Hermione, I assumed. This action so strongly reminded me of Percy the summer when he started dating Penelope Clearwater that I couldn't help but grin and shake my head. Ron would never forgive me saying so, especially not since Percy was still working diligently at being the world's leading prat.

Back in Sirius' room, the bed was made and I looked around to plan my next joyful task: the desk. Rolls upon rolls of parchment were piled on one side with a quill and bottle of midnight blue ink resting on a fresh page as if waiting for its owner to scratch his wetted quill across the blank surface. I put both the quill and ink inside the desk where other unused ones were kept. I took the pieces of parchment and sat on the bed to sort through them. I felt a little uneasy, as if I were prying through someone's personal things without telling them, but as mum said, someone's got to do it. And as mum also said, that someone was me.

The main bulk were letters he'd received, mostly from Dumbledore, Harry and Lupin. He had some newspaper clippings: a lot regarding the Ministry's efforts in catching him, even an article from the Quibbler saying that Sirius Black was actually a muggle musician (I had fond memories laughing about it with Harry and Ron). There were many about Umbridge's new post at Hogwarts and the Ministry's appointment of her as Headmistress after Dumbledore went AWOL near the end of term. He had a copy of the interview Harry gave Rita Skeeter about the truth of Voldemort's return (having been possessed by his spirit from _before _he became Voldemort makes saying his name much less of a big deal) and some from even farther back when Rita was obsessed with discrediting Harry and even Hermione in their fourth year during the Triwizard Tournament. _Oh Rita, you foul, foul woman._

When it came to actually throwing anything away, I couldn't bring myself do it. Not only did I feel I had no right, I mean, these were things Sirius obviously wanted to keep, so who was I to dismiss that? Alright, so I may have been being a tad ridiculous, and I'm sure that wherever he is he's quite likely not stressing over some old newspaper clippings, but for the love of magic, I _hate___to throw anything out! Mum always enjoys reminding me that the hoarding gene did not come from the Prewett side of the family. Instead, I searched for some sort of place to keep all of them and came upon a most convenient solution: a box full of old letters underneath his bed. Glancing through them it was easy to see they were from long ago, before he had gone to Azkaban, before that fateful Halloween sixteen years ago, before his life, and many others were taken away. I couldn't help myself and gave a quivering sigh. I did not see any from James or Lily, as I'm sure Harry must have taken them when he'd been in with Dumbledore, but I couldn't help from thinking that another one of them was now gone. I put everything in this box including the swell of tragic thoughts that swam out in the first place and set it on the now organized desk. I thought to myself that maybe Lupin would like to go through it all when he got there. If anyone had claim to it, he was the one.

Next came the wardrobe. I'd been dreading this task because clothes just seemed something so personal, and it felt like something you shouldn't be going through after someone had recently passed. Almost as if they might contain the last little bit of his once living essence. I was already feeling a little hesitant, so when I opened the door, my heart nearly stopped mid beat. _There was something inside. _A ghostly pale hand reached out and gripped the side, pulling the rest of the body out behind it. Someone was coming out.

I leapt back, nearly paralyzed with shock and fear. 'This can't be happening! He can't be here!' I thought wildly, too alarmed to act reasonable. Coming out of the wardrobe was my walking nightmare: black hair, icy blue eyes and that chillingly charming grin.

"_Tom._" I couldn't move. I couldn't even reach behind me to pull my wand out of my back pocket I was too stunned. I couldn't even hold onto a strain of the many thoughts swimming through my head. _How is this possible? How did he come back? What is he going to do? Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?_

He took a step closer, smiling that sickeningly familiar smile. Every image of every nightmare I'd ever had fused together with the images of all my actual memories as he continued towards me. All ability to reason through this situation left me as I squeezed my eyes shut. _Just like a child..._

"Riddikulus!" My eyes snapped opened. The room wavered and as suddenly as Tom had appeared, he turned into a balloon shaped version of himself and popped. There was a long silence where I didn't say anything as my brain picked up the slack and figured out what I should have the moment I opened the wardrobe.

"Ginevra?" a deeply concerned voice pulled me out of my inner turmoil and back into the moment. There was a long delay in my even registering that the voice which cast the charm must belong to a body and that this body was now standing in the doorway. It didn't take any time at all though for me to realize that it wasn't anybody I was expecting... at least not yet.

"P-Professor Lupin?"

**TBC**

Author's note: there you have it folks, hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review, it'd be greatly appreciated!


	2. Professor

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Two**

"Ginevra, are you alright?" he asked me hesitantly, as if his voice would set me back into another round of foolish panic (I might have added the foolish part...). I didn't blame him though, if I were looking at me, I would have thought the same thing.

"I can't believe I lost my head over a boggart! It's third year all over again. Ginny, you're ridiculous." Yes, sometimes I refer to myself in third person, like the nutter that I am.

I swore he was trying to hold back some laughter. _Heck, I'd laugh at me too. _But he tactfully rearranged his facial expression and regarded me empathetically. "Actually, not ridiculous at all. Boggarts are _meant_ to take on the shape of whatever frightens us the most. They're quite good at hiding and surprising, as you've noticed." He gave me such a warm smile that I couldn't help but feel a little less daft. Not much, but a little. It really did bring me back to my second year though, the first time I'd ever seen a boggart had been in his classroom (actually the teacher's staff room, but you get it). Thank Merlin he didn't ask me _why_ a strangely attractive young man was what frightened me the most... then again, I'm sure he'd had some prior knowledge to that young man's relation to me. Having been the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher the year after my little Basilisk/Chamber incident, I'm sure Dumbledore would have had to fill him in on why Lockhart left so abruptly. I also have a sneaking suspicion that Dumbledore would have had to tell him about my "involvement." Just in case I went berserk (I assume), at least he'd know to keep an eye out for me, like most of my other teachers did in my second year. It was actually quite awful for a twelve year old, having everyone scared that you're going to up and petrify them left, right and center... but back to the situation at hand.

"You're mother told me you were up here cleaning, ahem, Sirius' room so I decided to come relieve you." He was clearly still dealing with the loss of his last good school friend. I could barely imagine how he must be feeling, I'd only ever had _one _conversation with Sirius and I could still bring myself to tears thinking about him. He'd known him since his first year train ride. Merlin, there hadn't even been a funeral to offer any closure.

His wand was still gripped tight in his hand, bags in the other, surveying me politely. I figured he'd probably want some time alone. "Well, I suppose I should go help my mum in the kitchen, she's probably having a miniature panic attack because you're here earlier than she expected," he nodded in very obvious understanding; my mother's got a bit of a reputation in, well, all of Britain probably. I made to walk out of the room but then I remembered what I'd been doing before the wardrobe escapade. I walked over to the desk to fetch the box of letters and things. He stood wordlessly, waiting patiently for an explanation.

"I found this while putting some things away. I guess Sirius kept all his old letters and stuff," I sort of trailed off, not knowing if he was comfortable talking about Sirius yet and I didn't want to take any chances making him even more uncomfortable. "I thought you'd be the one who should decide what happens to it." I handed it to him and he accepted it silently, looking at it as if it were something totally mysterious. He continued not to respond so I cleared my throat awkwardly. "I'll just head downstairs, you can come down whenever you're ready. Thank you, by the way, Professor Lupin." He looked up and a ghost smile appeared on his face. I thought it was because of my embarrassed tone but then I blushed a little realized the mistake in what I'd said and apologized. "Habit," and then I left the room, closing the door softly behind me.

I made my way quickly downstairs, still very flustered over seeing Tom creeping out of a wardrobe in the house. Fortunately my mother was far too preoccupied to notice or perhaps she was just so used to seeing me flustered these days.

"There you are, honey. Did Remus find you? I forgot to tell you that there might be a boggart in there." _Well, thanks mum. I'll keep that in mind._ I opened my mouth to respond but once again, she flipped the switch. "Dinner will be in five minutes. Would you please get your brothers?"

I sighed. "Yes, mum."

Seventeen courses later, and forty pounds heavier, dinner was over and everyone was sitting around the table with a coffee or tea in hand. Several different conversations were taking place along the length of the table. Dad and the twins (visiting for a couple days) were discussing the high demand of their impressive line of muggle pranks in their newly opened joke shop. Some Order members had come over for dinner as well: Kingsley, Moody, Mundungus and Hestia Jones, a woman I'd only very briefly met once or twice. Hestia and Moody and surprisingly Mundungus we're in a very serious conversation about Fudge and the new outlandish laws that he was passing which Auror's were now forced to enforce. _Yeah, I wonder why this has put Dung's wand is in such a knot, _I thought with an amused giggle.In the middle of the table where I was sittingRon was fervently talking to Kingsley all about his Quidditch plans for the upcoming year and funnily enough, he was all too eager to hear. Excusing myself from that conversation, having heard enough of my brothers Quidditch ambitions for the last seven years of my life, I went to pour myself another cup of coffee. When I sat back down, my mother included me into her and Lupin's discussion.

"Ginny, when Harry and Hermione arrive this week we'll all go to Diagon Alley together to get yours and Ron's books and supplies," she explained to me, then adding for Lupin, "We always leave it to the last moment so I think we should try and do it a little early this year." Sounded good to me, I always hated the panicked rush at the end of the summer trying to get everything together. I'd also forgotten that Harry and Hermione would be coming so soon. I frowned slightly realizing that instead of having company I could spend some time with, Harry would be so wrapped up in Order business and Hermione would be so wrapped up in Ronald business that it would hardly change much for me around the house. I had to pinch myself as a reminder to not be so miserable.

"Ah, so you've gotten your letters already?" Lupin asked politely, although he was gazing at me with a look I couldn't read. Maybe he saw my unsympathetic pinch and realized that I actually was a nutter. Suddenly I had another thought. _Sweet Merlin, how long have these two been talking? Did he tell her about the boggart? No, _I realized,_ he must not have or she wouldn't be so carefree and sane sounding. _

"Oh yes, they came in weeks ago, we've just been putting it off as usual," mum replied when I failed to, bringing me back to the conversation. Lupin slowly took his eyes away from mine and turned back to my mother.

"Well Molly, I'd be happy to take them all. There are a few things I have to get before the semester begins." This he spoke in one of those rare moments when all other conversations had lulled, so almost everyone's attention shifted over to him. I wasn't quite sure what he meant and apparently I wasn't the only one. Was I ever glad when George asked. Lupin actually seemed startled.

"Didn't Dumbledore tell you?" Blank stares once again. Now everyone was listening in attentively. "Surely he must have? No?" He was visibly surprised by all of our continued confusion. "Well, he contacted me at the end of last year and asked me if I'd like to return on staff as Umbridge's replacement. I only assumed he would have at least explained this to you as he knew I'd be staying here for the end of the holidays," he finished, blushing modestly. There was a moment where everyone's faces only read blank comprehension until the sudden clamour of cheers and congratulations and 'bloody hell's from the twins' end of the table exploded. I felt like my smile was going to rip my face into two. I just couldn't believe it! Of all the people who deserved this second chance, he was the most worthy! And capable, I mean, compared to all the frauds, Death Eaters and sadists we'd had, he was the only teacher who was actually there because he gave a damn about teaching!

Now he was blushing profusely at the flow of attention and I couldn't help but notice just how adorable it made him but then I look away and remind myself that he was again going to be my professor this year and that I should _not_ be thinking about him in terms of adorability. _Tsk tsk, Ginny Weasley._

Suddenly, with a yawn he excused himself and everyone else realized just how late it had gotten. Everyone said their goodnights and gave Lupin one last congratulation before either heading upstairs to their rooms or flooing home. I stayed back to help my mum clean up all the mugs and wipe the table down (like the wonderful daughter that I am) and then I finally headed to bed myself.

I had to walk up two flights of stairs, passing my parent's rooms and the twins' on the second floor where my brothers' snores told me that each had already gone to sleep. I was always jealous of their abilities to just pass out whenever, wherever. I was always lying in bed for near an hour before I could get to sleep. Then again, my sleep was generally less pleasant than any of theirs (for reasons I will explain). I was the only room on the third story and until Hermione arrived, I had it all to myself.

Usually I enjoyed when Hermione stayed with me. We weren't exactly good friends, but I still enjoyed her company and it _was _nice to have another girl around. Admittedly, she has this habit of forgetting that I'm only a few months younger than her or my brother and occasionally treats me as if I were years younger. Actually, my whole family seemed to follow this pattern as well. It bothers me, but not enough so that I would confront her; she means well. If I had to say, her and Luna were really my only girl friends that I had. Also, she's got her own problems to deal with, especially now that she's potentially becoming involved with my dolt of a brother, Ronald.

I lay on my bed looking up at the elaborate mouldings on the ceiling and images of Lupin flittered through my sleepy mind. I was still so happy at the news he'd revealed at dinner. I couldn't wait to have him back as a teacher. When I'd had him in my second year I'd been too young to truly appreciate the worth of being properly educated, but with this recent pattern for monstrous professors, it was going to be a breath of fresh air for my brain matter knowing that this year would not be another nasty surprise. Especially in a time like this, Defence Against the Dark Arts is the last class you want to suffer through ineptitude or sabotage from a newly appointed staff member. Soon my thoughts were wandering away from teaching and school. He still hadn't said anything to my mother about the boggart incident. At dinner she'd asked him if he'd found one in the wardrobe or under the bed and I swear he started to tell her what happened but I must have given such a look of horror that he full out lied. Okay, it was more of an omission as he did admit to banishing it, but still! To Molly Weasley, of all people! I couldn't believe it!

Not that I enjoy keeping things from her, sometimes it's just better that way. To be honest, I just don't want her to worry any more than she already does. Than everyone does. The Chamber of Secrets incident is sort of a taboo in my family these days. No one talks about it, no one acts as if there _was _an incident (at least not directly). Whenever people talk about my first year of Hogwarts, they find it easiest to just leave it out. No one talks as if it _didn't _happen, they just don't talk about it as if it _did _happen. Yeah, right. Mum gets scared though because I have nightmares, very loud and very reoccurring nightmares. She doesn't ever go straight out and ask me about them because of the taboo, but she thinks about them and it's more than obvious. I could see it in her and dad's eyes every morning after having woken them up. Although they believe that I'd mostly stopped having them because of the silencing charms on my room (that they don't know about). My seeing a boggart in the shape of Tom Riddle might be too much for her to handle. Somehow I think Lupin must have understood this or else, why wouldn't he have said anything?

As if he'd heard me thinking of him, I could hear him walking around in the room above mine. I started thinking of how hard it would be to get to sleep in _my_ dead friend's room. Especially since Lupin had already suffered so many loses: James, Lily, Peter, Harry in a sense and now Sirius. I curled onto my side and hugged my blankets to me, feeling a sense of loneliness for him and before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep.

_"Ginevra," he whispered to me from the darkness. "I need you."_

_ "Where are you?" I cried, there was nothing but darkness. I didn't know how I'd gotten there but I knew I shouldn't be. I needed to find something, someone? Everything was so confused. _

_ A speckle of light appeared in the distance. Maybe a torch? Yes, that's what it was. It kept coming closer and closer. No hand attached to it, because I soon found out that it was mounted on a stone wall. I had been walking towards it. I turned away from the wall and pressed my back against it, knowing instantly where I was: The Chamber_.

_ Suddenly there was complete illumination as all the torches burst into illuminating flames. I tried to pear around one of the statues lining to wall to see the one I knew would be someone there. Laughter filled the chamber, coming from everywhere all at once. "Still hiding from me, Ginevra?" The voice was a whisper, but I could feel breath on my neck and so I flung myself forward to run away. My limbs weren't moving properly, they were sluggish and heavy. I stumbled to the stone floor and he was on top of me. _

_ He wasn't the Tom I had known, or the Tom I had trusted. He was a disfiguration. The proportions were wrong; the glow from his eyes wasn't from the torches. "Diaries are for little girls Ginny, haven't you learned? You haven't changed at all," he grinned menacingly, mocking me with every word. _

_ Suddenly I was eleven all over again, holding my diary open to a blank page, hands red with paint. Or was it blood? I didn't know. Words flowed out of my quill as it scratched hysterically across the page, letters disappearing into the book. "Tom, I'm scared, people are getting attacked all over the school and I can't remember where I was when it happened! What if _― _Tom, I think it was me!" _

_ "Open up to me, girl. Empty yourself. Pour out your soul for me. Let me pour myself back into you. You _need _me, Ginny," _

_ "I need you, Tom," I repeated, transfixed, afraid. Why was I so afraid?_

_ The chamber darkened and only his eyes remained lit. _

_ Suddenly he was covering my body, no longer the sweet boy who seemed to care so sincerely. He ran his fingers through my hair, softly and carefully like a lover until he closed his hand into a fist and jerked my head back, laughing. It felt as if parts of my whole being were being torn away and filed with blackness and fire when his lips crushed against my own. I could feel his spirit seeping into mine, corrupting it, and mine into his. We almost became one, lines separating us as individuals melted away, inseparable until my body couldn't contain his anymore. In one pulse of heat and rage I burst into blinding pain, screaming without a mouth and convulsing without a body; someone called to me. _

_ "Ginevra!" I didn't fear the voice, it was one I felt I needed and somehow whatever was left of me in the darkness went to its source. _

"Here, this will help, you're burning up," something cool and heavenly touched me and I knew I was out. I was out of that world of pain.

I sat up suddenly, panting and unsticking myself from the blankets. I put my hands on my face and wiped the hair and sweat back. I wanted to smack myself on the forehead for not remembering to reapply my nightly Silencing Charm before I went to bed. He held a soaked cloth from the washroom across the tight corridor out for me, and I graciously accepted it to wipe off my overheated face and the sweat plastered all over it. My whole body was covered with it, I was so hot I could barely breathe "Bad dream?" He asked, so simply, unknowing how complicated the answer could be.

"Yeah" I laughed shakily, trying to regain a sense of composure but mostly hoping to sound dispassionate as if my nightmare was a completely normal one, not the freakish type I have. I couldn't bear to have him look at me like the rest of my family did, like I was delicate or fragile. Normally, I pride myself on my unfailing ability to keep my inner turmoil from everyone else around me. I've worked very hard to separate myself from the incident with the Chamber and the diary from first year. It makes me feel much more confident when I make it possible for them to stay happy in their ignorance. How else am I supposed to make friends if other people can't relate to me and the experiences I'd had? I've played my part so well that most people in my year don't even remember that I'm associated with all that Heir of Slytherin mess. People have long since stopped being anxious of my loosing a mythical terror through the school. Yet _somehow_, this man, who's personal connection to me went only as far as him teaching me when I was twelve and living in the same house as me last summer, had already seen me at my most vulnerable, seen that I'm not quite as unaffected as I let on. _Twice. _In less than a day! I couldn't believe it, I didn't even want to look him in the face in case I saw the same pity that lurks within my parents' eyes.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, trying to still my shakes so that I could stand sturdily. I looked at his bare feet and saw him shifting his weight awkwardly from one to the other. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah," I replied with feigned nonchalance. "Sorry for waking you up, I'm okay though, I always have bad dreams when I drink coffee before bed." Yeah, because _that _made sense. I know that was a feeble rationalization, but it was the best I could come up with under the circumstances. I forced myself to look up at him and give him an attempt at a reassuring smile. His brow was furrowed in disbelief, but he didn't say anything. Good, because I was too shaken to work to convince him that I _was _fine. "I'm just going to get a drink of water, it's too hot up here," I mumbled, and walked passed him out of the room, down a flight of stairs, pausing at the landing below where my room was. I waited for a few long moments and then let out the breath of relief that I'd been holding when I heard what I'd been waiting for: the creaking of stairs signifying that Lupin had gone back up to his room. It was only when I got to the bottom of the stairs that I realized he had still been in his clothes from dinner. I hadn't woken him up, it seems. I went into the kitchen and got a big glass of milk. I sat at the table without turning on any of the lights and plunged into the mess of my thoughts.

_That was definitely not a regular nightmare (regular for me that is). _Somehow I knew that it was different; there was something about the way he laughed, the way he _felt. _I'd never felt such pain at his touch before. This kiss felt so, so... _evil _and I'd felt many of his kisses. It was as if a tap of taint was opened and released into me through him. Usually he tormented me, tried to make me feel inadequate and tear me apart from the mind out, occasionally taking it to a physical level but this new one had been something more. I could still feel his presence in my body and that made me more frightened than ever. What if he _could _pour some of himself into me? Sure, Harry destroyed the diary and its host, but the real Tom Riddle was still out there.

Having spent enough time downstairs in the dark with my thoughts, I downed the glass of milk and went as silently as possible to my room. I opened my window to try to cool down, my window which looked out over the Muggle neighbourhood, never to be seen by any of its inhabitants. I threw myself back on the bed; it was too hot to put my blanket over top of me, but I find it's too awkward to lie in bed without one, so I held on to the top and manoeuvred the cool layer between my legs flopping over every time the heat from my body made them to warm. Whatever, everyone does it.

I closed my eyes and waited patiently for that wonderful moment where your consciousness slips away, but it never came. Nearly a half hour past, and I still lay there, eyes closed, hoping. Something in me did not want to let me go back to sleep. No surprise what that something had to do with.

Then I froze, once again there were footsteps above my head. Very silently, almost unheard except for a creak or two, Lupin came down the stairs. My door was open a crack, but I heard the sound of it being pushed open a little further. Thankfully my back was to it because I could hear that he stopped and I could sense him looking in. I heard his soft breathing as he stood in my doorway. I stared at the opposite wall, my whole body tense and my breathing completely paused. I didn't respond, hoping he would assume I was asleep. I can only guess that he did, because after another moment he went back upstairs and didn't come out until the next morning. I didn't get another minute of sleep the entire night.

**TBC**

Author's note: well, here's a longer chapter! I hope you've liked it. Things will definitely start picking up as soon as they get to Hogwarts, and I'm thinking that this next chapter will end with Ginny getting on the train. It'll probably be quite a bit longer than this one because I've got two weeks to cover! Please leave a review: good, bad, suggestions! Whatever you like! Thanks guys!

P.s. I totally have to maul my blankets to get the cool side.


	3. Burdened

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Three**

The entire next week I was an immensely stressed mess. Hermione arrived two days after Lupin and a day before Harry. Admittedly this did not bother me as I was very fond of her but I was prone to needing some space to myself, which now I couldn't even get in my own room. Order members were now passing through twice as often and I couldn't get even one single moment of much needed privacy. Not only that, but I was exhausted to an unbearable point. I couldn't get to sleep anymore, not since the night Lupin came and woke me. An hour or two at the most... three if I was lucky. The nightmares weren't exactly getting worse (they were bad enough) but they came every single time I closed my eyes. I'd never had them that frequently before, maybe two a week at the most. Not only that, but with Hermione sharing my room, I'd taken extra precautions for her not to hear me because I've never been able to help shouting out in my sleep. Also, Hermione has an inconvenient habit of reporting unusual happenings to my brother and Harry, which would certainly get back to my parents. But if she noticed anything unusual those few nights together, she tactfully kept it to herself.

Since I'd taken to putting silencing charms all around my bed after that night, I hadn't run into any more late night incidents. It was hard though; Lupin had been keeping an eye out for me since then. I wasn't exactly sure what he expected to see, but I could tell he was concerned. Lucky for me though, he took the four of us to Diagon Alley for our school supplies and I managed to stop in at the new wizard's cosmetic store. It was just like any ol' muggle shop but much handier, like most magical stores are. I knew I should get myself a concealer for the dark circles under my eyes which were now becoming a permanent fixture. Not only that, but I was starting to look frighteningly pale. I was used to summers outside in our makeshift Quidditch field, or laying out on the dock at the pond near the Burrow. I fondly remember helping him carry wood for the thing as he had taken it upon himself as a fun little mission of sorts to build the dock using only muggle techniques and technology in the Summer after my third year. Parts of it stuck out awkwardly and I had a sneaking suspicion that many pieces were held together with magic, but I didn't care so long as it floated and I could nap on it. Even just taking walks to the town or over to the Lovegood's was a lovely excuse to get out of the house. This was our first time allowed out of Grimmauld Place in nearly a month. I couldn't help wondering when I would be able to see the Burrow again.

I spent as much time as possible upstairs trying to get away from everyone though the moment's I did were few and far in between. I bought a diary from Flourish and Blotts and got Moody to check it for enchantments or curses one night when he had dinner with us after another meeting. You might wonder why I would want anything to do with a diary again but with all the things going through my head those days and no one really to talk to, I needed some way to get them all out of me. Trust me, I would have rather gotten a pensieve, but one of those costs much more than a galleon or two… or sixty four precisely. And if Mad-Eye Moody said it was safe, I was satisfied.

For once I was thankful that I was left alone by Hermione. She's far too perceptive for my liking, especially when I'm trying to keep on the down low. It's no surprise that while staying with us, she spent most of her time with Ron and Harry, although there were a few times Harry came to find me because he got so tired of their arguing and mushy making up. I really did not want to think about that. For all intents and purposes the two were now basically dating, although from what I gathered, Ron is too much of a coward to make it official and Hermione is too stubborn to be the one to ask him. Sometimes I have to wonder why people even bother with all that nonsense. I sense nothing but trouble from it. Whenever it was just Harry and I though, he seemed rather subdued, but it was to be expected. Sirius meant a whole lot more to him than he did to most of us. I could never really find much to say to him, but it wasn't conversation he was looking for, just comfortable company and I was more than happy to give it. I used to be so in love with the boy that I couldn't even speak when he was around, and by the time I grew out of that phase, I found that we had a lot of things in common. Love of Quidditch, same favourite classes (except I will confess a liking for Potions though not to any of my siblings), can't stand the ridiculousness of those other two... undeniably, Harry became like a seventh brother to me

It was the last night before the holidays were over and there was a massive celebration. Mum was completely out of control and made a feast that could have shamed the Hogwarts house-elves. There was quite a reason for celebration, even I had to admit it: Ron and I were the Gryffindor prefects (whoopee), Hermione was Head Girl (well, obviously), Harry was made Gryffindor captain (of course) and Remus Lupin was once again returning (yay!). Everyone was in a prime mood, and even though I could barely keep my head up from sheer exhaustion, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. When dinner was done and conversations split off as usual, I slowly let myself fade into the background and excused myself, unnoticed. I'd thought so anyways.

Who should follow, not two minutes later but my new professor, Lupin. Unfortunately for me seeing as how I was trying to avoid him these last two weeks, I didn't go straight up into my room but instead made for the front room with the almost comfortable couches. I hadn't even pulled out my diary from under the seat where I usually hide it for convenience when he came in.

"I've been meaning to talk to you," he started, waiting for my reaction. I didn't really say anything, but I gave him a nod to continue and he relaxed as if he thought I would storm away. I wasn't exactly surprised by his announcement, I knew he'd been wanting to for a number of days but had been delaying. Now seemed like as good a time as any, I suppose, especially since this was probably the first time I'd been properly on my own for who knows how long.

Pulling up a chair beside mine, he continued. "I'm concerned about you," again he stopped to see my reaction, but I had already known this for the past week. I didn't respond. He sighed. "I've been battling with whether or not I should tell your parents or not about my worries," he continued faster after seeing my appalled expression, "but I know you have your reasons for not wanting them to know about the boggart or the nightmares."

"I haven't been having nightmares anymore, not since that one, weeks ago," I lied smoothly, having practiced many times in my head. I was quite dismayed to see an I-don't-believe-you look on his face. _Damn._

"Ginny, I know you've barely been getting any sleep this past week. It takes more than a charm or concealer to hide that sort of weariness. Trust me, I see it and feel it every full-moon." he explained with a grim smile.

Suddenly I felt like an idiot; of course he would see right through my cover. It's strange how often I forgot about his other side. Werewolves are hypersensitive to other human's conditions so of course he would have noticed my complete lack of energy and strength right away.

With my pretence so easily penetrated, I lost the will to even try to keep it up. Suddenly I sagged back into the couch. "Every night it's the same. I can't stop them. They've never been this bad, never more than a couple every two weeks. Now it's every night, whenever I close my eyes and find myself asleep," I shuddered. "I can't tell my mum or dad about it because they already worry so much, and there's nothing they could do about them anyways. Why should they have to suffer too? Plus, they already look at me as if they're waiting for me to lose it and do something completely outrageous." Like setting a 60 foot snake loose to paralyze my muggle born classmates..._ oh wait..._

Anyways, I didn't really like talking about my personal feelings, because there was so much in there that I just didn't know how to get it all out properly. But it's not like I'd ever tried to. Yet, for some reason, I couldn't stop myself. I guess I now understood Sirius' emotional confession to me that night; it's a lot easier pretending to be alright when everyone thinks you are. Before I even knew what was happening, I was talking about how the kids at school don't want to get too close to me, or how all the teachers at school seem to take pity on me and treat me less severely than all the other students, which sets me apart even more.

I went on for the better half of an hour, letting him input wherever he thought appropriate. I felt like a bit of a knob pouring this all out onto him, to someone who was so nearly a stranger to me, but as he was the one who cracked the damn, he had to deal with the flood because I certainly had no control over it. Sometimes I wished I could have read him better though, because it was hard to tell if he was serious in his understanding, or just listening to make me feel better. Whichever one it was, I did feel better. Nothing like a good outpour of emotion to take a weight off your chest.

"Ginevra, I think it's time for you to head to bed," he was lightly shaking my shoulder. I must have dozed off when the conversation slowed to different topic, I couldn't even remember what it had been. The noise from the kitchen was greatly diminished, only two or three people were left over and most of the lights were dimmed.

"A-a-alright," I replied, yawning extensively. He gave a stifled yawn in return, because everyone knows they're contagious.

We got upstairs, rather slowly and said one final goodnight at the stairs leading to his room. "You know, if you ever need someone to talk to at school, my door will be open." I didn't have a clue how to respond to that. I held his gaze for a moment, feeling a strange fluttering in my stomach. I smiled my thanks and I suppose he understood. I walked into my room and closed the door without a word.

I got changed into my pyjamas, trying my best not to wake Hermione, but when I got into bed she turned around and muttered a goodnight. I yawned one in return and finally fell asleep for what felt like the first time all month, only to be brusquely jarred awake in the morning.

"**Ginny, get your arse out of bed, we're late!"**

**TBC **

Author's note: okay, I may have lied, this was not a longer chapter because I couldn't think of too much to write about and I'm satisfied with this little guy. Oh, and I felt like going to bed before two o'clock for once this week. Hope you appreciate it! I've been trying to get these chapters out super pronto because I'm going to be gone this whole long weekend and won't be able to update until Tuesday at the earlier! I hope I've got a couple fans out there, keep on reading! Maybe send a review or two my way! See ya next time, guys. 


	4. Arival

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Four**

As per usual, we made it on time to the train with maybe a second to save. Of course it did take an even greater amount of time having to organize the guards for Harry. Finally, once we got onto the platform and I said my goodbyes to my parents, siblings and Order members that I'd come to know, I separated from the immense crowd of our group and I found myself a compartment near the end of the train away from my sibling and his friends. Years ago, Ron would always throw a fit when I "try to make his friends my own". _Yeah, right brother, that's exactly what I want to do, it's not like sitting by yourself for five hours on a train isn't absolutely dull._ Oh well, I was used to it and after the Summer I'd had, being alone did not seem like such an awful thing anymore. At least maybe Colin or Luna would be around.

For once though, by some miracle of being made prefect, I didn't have to stay in the compartment for the whole time because I had a meeting and from what Ron's told me, I'd have to patrol the corridor with a partner for a designated hour. _Oh, goody._

I wasn't too sure about how I felt being a prefect. I'm not even too sure why out of all the Gryffindors eligible, I got picked. McGonagall does like me a lot though since I'm so quiet and studious, and I know the heads of house have a big say in it. No point complaining about it, the deadline for declining had already passed, and even if it hadn't, I don't think I'd be able to bring myself to disappoint mum and dad like that. They take a special pleasure in their children's achievements.

Once the train got going and I couldn't see the platform, I put an anti-theft jinx on my larger belongings, but grabbed my small book bag with my Potions text, my diary, and bottle of ink and two quills. Once everything was in order, I headed all the way to the front of the train to the prefect's compartment. As I passed by a number of people I knew, I would stop to say hello and ask how their summers had been. I did try to hurry though because Hermione would be running the meeting with the Head Boy, Stephen Claude, a rather cute Ravenclaw Chaser and I didn't want to be late for her first meeting. Earlier yesterday Ron and her had already gotten in an argument over Hermione having to spend so much time with the new Head Boy. Hell, I'd be worried too; he's single, smart (Ravenclaw, obviously) _and _a fantastic Quidditch player. Oh, and French (_yum_).

I got there at about the same time as most others and took a seat near the window. I find watching the scenery pass by to be very soothing. Malfoy was causing quite a huff and refusing to shut up when Hermione tried to start the meeting until Stephen told him to shut up or he'd talk to Dumbledore about revoking his prefect privileges. Malfoy's cheeks tinged pink as he simmered with quiet irritation, causing quite a few snickers from the other house members. Hermione flushed with embarrassment as well but Stephen just smiled encouragingly at her, showing a dazzling row of white teeth. I glanced over to see if Ron had noticed or cared, and it wasn't too much of a challenge to realize he had. I think his face was actually turning purple with feebly contained fury. _Uh oh, Ron. I think you're going to need to step up your game, brother. _Sadly, I knew he would not accept the challenge gracefully and would act as he usually did when jealous, and make the situation ten times worse. At the most bizarre times, he reminded me so strongly of Percy. Not that I would _ever _tell him this. Ever. But it was true that if he didn't make a move to make him and Hermione an official thing, she wasn't going to wait forever.

This meeting was just an introduction to our roles as prefects and what our duties were on the first night: leading first years around and giving them an overview of what life was like at Hogwarts, making them feel at home and stuff like that. Stephen jokingly told that our jobs were quite the same as herding sheep. Remembering how lost and dumbfounded I was on my first night, I figured he was closer to the truth than probably intended.

We came up with the most convenient timetable for that week's meeting, but no further as we'd have to fit them in between Quidditch practices and whatever else would come up. Next, we were assigned our night time patrol partners. The way it worked was that all the houses and genders were split up. I was paired with a Hufflepuff boy from my year, and Ron was paired with a Slytherin girl from my year as well. His day was just getting better and better. His facial hue was easier to read than any mood ring. Especially when he heard that Head Boy and Girl are set to patrol together. _Big surprise, Ron. _I just rolled my eyes at him and made a point to avoid being near their compartment when Ron blew up at her, because _obviously _this was her fault. I deal with my own fair share of the Weasley temper, I don't want any more than necessary.

We got our individual hours to patrol the train and luckily mine was last so I had three hours to relax before Toby Mortimer and I had duty. The meeting was adjourned so I stayed back to talk to Hermione as the rest of the prefects filtered out. Ron tried to stay back with us, but I promptly pushed him out the door. "Warning: he's ready to blow." I looked her in the eyes meaningfully so she'd know who I was talking about, and she sighed.

"I know he's your brother and everything, but he's quite thick when it comes to dealing with problems," _tell me about it, Hermione._

I had to laugh though, everyone knew it. "You won't hear me denying anything. I just thought you should know, because you were so busy running the meeting that you probably would have been ambushed when you got back to the compartment."

She smiled too, then exasperatedly groaned "What should I do?"

I'm not really one to offer helpful advice on shaky almost-relationships, but where my brother is concerned, that's another topic. "Come bearing gifts of food; that should give you some time. Oh, and possibly tell him how dull you find Stephen... that would help too," I grinned.

She laughed, "He's actually such a great guy, I'm so happy he became Head Boy, we have so much in common. I could see us being really good friends,"_ Yikes, Ron's in more trouble than I thought._

"I would probably leave that little bit out of the conversation," I said, worried. As much as she _is _the smartest witch of her age, she isn't exactly the smartest girl in a potential relationship of her age. But I didn't want to get much further into it, because my brother's love life was not something I really wanted to make my business. So we left to find the trolley lady who coincidentally was just starting her rounds only two compartments ahead, talking to someone inside.

"Hello Hermione, Ginevra, how are you both?" You don't even have to guess who it was.

"Hello, Professor. Just getting a snack to bring back to the boys, you know how they are." Hermione and him shared a knowing chuckle. Seeing Lupin made my whole face flush hot, and I can only assume it was turning visibly red. I hadn't talked to him at all since last night and I was still quite embarrassed at all the ridiculous bits of my life I'd told him about. I figured saying something would be a good idea, as he was looking at me expectantly.

"Hi Professor Lupin, how are you?"

"I'm doing as good as I can be, thank you for asking," I took a closer look and recognized the signs of weariness. I'd checked my calendar a few nights ago and saw that the full moon was less than two weeks away; I guess he could already feel its affects.

Hermione grabbed her things and walked off to her compartment after saying a quick goodbye to the both of us. The trolley lady continued on down the aisle, knocking on each door as she passed. I almost walked off to follow, but his voice brought my attention back to him.

"If you haven't got anywhere to be right now, Ginevra, would you like to help me finish off the leftover tea?" he motioned to the kettle and without much of a second thought, I walked in and closed the door. There may have been the slightest hesitation because I bet somewhere in the rule book students were not supposed to be alone with their teachers in their compartments having tea_. Or something like that, I never read them… maybe I could ask Hermione? I bet she has._

As my solitary compartment seemed so unappealing at that moment, and how I was growing to enjoy the relaxed feeling of being around someone who knew what was really going on in my head, I sat directly across from him and he conjured another mug to fill. We sat in silence, watching the landscape pass by for quite some time, growing more at ease as the minutes slipped by. I thought it was kind of interesting that from where I sat, I could see where we were going, but from his position, he was seeing where we'd been. Not one to under-appreciate comfortable silences, I surprised myself by asking out loud a question that had been nagging at me.

"Why do you take the train to Hogwarts, Professor, surely you could floo there or apparate to Hogsmede and take one of the carriages? I remember you took it in my second year as well." I don't think many students would forget that train ride to the castle. It's not every year the train is stopped by a herd (_flock?_) of dementors searching for an alleged mass murderer.

Remus looked mildly surprised that I'd spoken as well, as if he'd forgotten I was there."I like the train, it brings back memories of very good times for me," he smiled then added, "You know, you don't need to call me 'Professor' when there aren't other students around. I think it would be alright for you to call me Remus; I've known your family for ages and spent nearly two summers in the same home."

I grinned inwardly. I thought calling him 'Professor' was bizarre and unusual now, but still a habit of respect ingrained into my mind since first year. Using his name seemed so much more natural, although I've never called him by his first one. "Okay. Also, you don't have to use my full name either. Ginny's fine, it's what everyone calls me." This was true, no one ever called me Ginevra except perhaps my mother when she was angry with me. Class lists didn't even have my name down as Ginevra.

"I like the name Ginevra. I believe it suits you more." For some reason, imagining him evaluating me made my heart flutter and gave me a good feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt as though good feelings in the pit of my stomach were not supposed to be given by a teacher of mine. _Control yourself, girl. He is an attractive man, but also the same age as Harry's parents were. _I had to suppress a giggle at my own inner dialogue. I must have been making a funny face because he was looking at me curiously. I raised an eyebrow as if asking him what he was looking at, and he reciprocated with one of his own. Then the moment was over as we both grinned and he looked down at the potions textbook in my lap and asked me how I liked the subject.

It took a moment for me to put my feelings into words. "I really enjoy the subject matter, I think it's one of the most interesting classes I've got, but somehow..." I didn't really like talking poorly about another staff member in front of one, even if I knew that they'd had a long history of dislike.

"Professor Snape?" he finished, knowingly. Having been a student with him when they both went to Hogwarts meant that he definitely knew Snape better than any of the students.

"Yeah, he doesn't really encourage enthusiasm. I've done well though, one of the few Gryffindors who can confess that, so I'm not really complaining. I mean, I'm still in the course right?" Which _is _saying something, I know of less than a handful of Gryffindors who continued on to the Advanced Potions class. Even some who had the marks just didn't want another year under Snape's watchful eyes.

"Everyone's got their ups and downs, Snape's no different. He's had to deal with much challenge in his life." Coming from a werewolf, that's saying something significant. Lup― ah, Remus still surprised me by trying to make people see good in Snape, despite his nasty temperament and the awful was he treated Sirius. It was also him who let slip that Remus was a werewolf when he was a teacher before, and also the reason he resigned the position. Sometimes I wished I was able to see the good in everybody, but I hold on to things much to tightly to let them go.

That opened up a whole new track of thought. "Are you worried about how people are going to take the news?" he knew what I meant right away, and I immediately wish I could take it back. His whole posture changed, somehow becoming heavier and less confident. His eyes darkened and he looked back out the window. I felt horrible. Where's a Time-Turner when you need one? "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's a perfectly legitimate question. Especially since I resigned four years ago when everyone found out, as I'm sure you remember." Vividly. I remember being quite upset because he was the first Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who taught me anything. Compared to Gilderoy Lockhart who was quite willing to let me die in the bowels of the school. _What a guy…_

Fearing that I was toeing some sort of line, I carefully worded my thoughts, "but you said yes to Dumbledore's request," my tone suggested I was asking a question, but I didn't really know what sort of answer I was going to get or if he'd even _want_ to answer.

He seemed to ponder it as well. "Dumbledore has used up many resources to help me, too many in my opinion. This seems like a perfect opportunity to pay a little of it back. And it's not often that he calls in a favour owed. I had no valid reason to deny him." That made sense. I always felt sort of bad for Dumbledore, it must be a real challenge to fill the post that honestly did seem to be cursed. I only hoped it wouldn't claim Remus again this year.

He looked back out the window, visibly deep in thought. I stared at him, going over every line of his wearied face. There was such desolation in each distinct line. Waves of sadness pooled off him into me. All I could think of was reaching a hand out to let him know through contact that I cared. I started to feel something different as I continued to look on, and I didn't know how to react to what my insides were telling me, so instead of staying to comfort him in his time of trouble, I left quickly with a short goodbye and didn't see him again for the whole train ride (except for walking past his compartment during my hour patrol).

Once the idea popped into my head, it refused to be ignored: I had something like feelings for_ Professor _Remus Lupin.

This seemed like a bad start to a new year.

**TBC**

Author's note: Hey there everyone, sorry for not posting this weekend, I was off camping! Anyways, hope you like this chapter, and I hope you'll be kind and take a little bit of time to review!

Oh and p.s. I'm sorry if my characters sound too "American." I'm from Canada so I figured if I tried to full out make them sound British I might seriously fail and make them sound silly instead of natural. Hope no one's too bothered or even really notices :)


	5. Things to Come

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Five**

The feast was just as it was every year: unbelievable. I actually am impressed that I don't weight two tons by the end of each year. Maybe my mother's cooking has just made me immune to gross intakes of food.

Hermione came and sat with me because she was so angry at my brother and I suppose Harry by association, so Ron spent the whole dinner glaring daggers at me as if somehow I were to blame. _Boys... _Oh well, my mind was really elsewhere. Neville who sat directly on my other side had tried for a while to strike up conversation about both of our summer holidays and I had to keep apologizing for letting my attention wander. He laughed kindly having known from more than one occasion that I'm bad for spacing out, so he fell into another conversation with Dean and Seamus across the table. More often than not I caught myself staring up at the teachers table to see a certain one of my professors. I kept trying to tell myself not to, but the thoughts died before I could even consider them. He was very subdued and spoke sparingly. Only when Dumbledore made the announcement of his new position did he crack a real smile.

Most of the two years that had had him when he was the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher cheered exceptionally loud (excluding Slytherin, but they don't cheer much for anything). Other younger years either clapped politely or turned to their friends and whispered anxiously; it was more than obvious that they knew of his 'condition' and clearly some judged with the same prejudice that he'd been fighting against since childhood. My heart ached at the difficulties his life continued to throw at him.

"I'm surprised they actually let him back," Calum, an unbelievably annoying boy from my year whispered across the table to Hermione and myself. "I mean he's a you-know-what." I tried so hard to ignore it and let it slide but he continued. "They'reknown to have a _particular_ liking for children, and this place is packed with them! It's not like it's his fault or anything, but it's pretty irresponsible for him to have accepted the job let alone Dumbledore offering it," that did it for me.

Hermione tried to open her mouth to stop me, but Weasley temper has a will of its own. "What the hell's your problem, Calum? This is _Professor Lupin_! You had him without knowing and you thought he was incredible, how has anything changed? Unlike you he's overcome his misfortunes and still turned out to be a good man, while you're just a pigheaded, prejudiced git!"I hissed, trying not to draw too many stares from the other tables. Hermione looked relieved, as if anticipating disaster. I must admit, had Dumbledore not bid us goodnight it probably would have been. Instead, he leaped up and hurried off into the crowd making their way to bed. _Lucky son of a_―

"Well, he got off easy," Hermione noted.

I muttered some sort of unintelligible insult and followed the crowd as well. I glanced back at the teachers table, but he'd already gone. I sighed, wishing the fact that I hadn't seen him didn't make me so sad. _Ginny, you're hopeless. _

I shook myself out of my foul mood and met up with the now fed and subdued Ron to lead the first years to the common room. He must have noticed my anger bubbling beneath the surface because he stayed on his best behaviour. All of us Weasleys had a keen tuning to each others' foul tempers. You had to if you lived in a house of either other Weasleys, each just as likely to blow as the last (admittedly the twins were very difficult to get a rise out of, but only because they spent so much of their time baiting the rest of us). After introducing them all to the Fat Lady and giving them the start of year password (it was Flitterbloom, by the way), Hermione took over for me as she saw that I really wasn't in the mood to be dealing with excitable eleven year olds. Sometimes I love that girl to death.

She promptly sent me up to bed, and I didn't even think a complaint. In a record two minutes, I brushed my teeth, whipped off my clothes, threw on an old, faded Chudley Cannons t-shirt that Ron gave me one Christmas and nestled under the familiar Hogwarts duvets.

_"Dear Ginny, it's time for me to tell you a little secret," I couldn't move. I couldn't even close my eyes. His touched burned my skin so deeply that I could only see white. His voice still filled my ears. "It's almost time for me to show the world what true power is. They will bow down to us in fear, my love."_

_ Us? I couldn't speak. All I could do was cry out in my mind but he heard me nonetheless. _

_ "Have you not figured it out, darling? You and I are one. Without you I would perish but without _me, _you would be driven mad, lost inside your own mind. I'm growing stronger, Ginny. You must feel it! No? Well, you'll understand soon, very soon I daresay." An unseen pair of lips pressed to my forehead and it felt as if my skull was splitting in two._

I shot awake and instantly threw up over the side of my bed. My blankets were kicked in a heap at the end of my bed. I was covered head to toe in sweat, soaking my pillow. Tears were streaming down my face in hot trails. I choked back a sob. My head felt as though it was still splitting, I could barely breathe. My body was shaking with the physical memory of that hot pain. I looked around the dormitory but none of the girls stirred. I quietly peeled myself off my bed and cleaned up my dinner with my wand.

I tiptoed to the washroom and turned on the shower as cold as possible. I tried my best to avoid looking in the mirror but once I caught sight of myself, I couldn't stop myself from looking. My hair was totally dishevelled, sticking all over my sweaty face. My skin was whiter than snow, so pale that even my freckles looked diminished. There were deep purple circles under my eyes and it was these that disconcerted me the most. The greens of my eyes burned unnaturally bright in contrast to the red around them. They looked terrified and confused, not recognizing the pair that stared back.

I tore myself away, too uncomfortable to keep looking. I flung off my Cannon's shirt and sat down in the shower under the flowing cold water. It cooled my body down almost instantly, but did nothing for what was going on inside. Tears poured out and I finally let loose the sobs I'd been holding back. For some reason the reality of how dreadful these nightmares had been making me feel had never reached past the summer, but now that school had started, it hit me. I might have to spend a whole year of this. Maybe longer, _oh holy hell…_

I'd never felt so trapped or alone before. I wanted so dearly to tell someone about my nightmares and have them let me open up to them, but the only person who really understood what having Voldemort in his mind felt like was Harry and I couldn't burden him. He's got enough of that bastard to deal with. Plus, Ron would find out and then mum and dad would find out and it'd be a disaster. I couldn't talk to Hermione either, I know she's one of the most intelligent girls of her age, but she spends too much time looking at things from a textbook view. She would spend her time trying to diagnose my problem instead of just being an open shoulder. I thought about Dumbledore and all the help he gave me in my second year, always making a point to talk to me and ask me how I was doing. I got so good at pretending I was fine that he finally believed it and let me be. For some reason I just didn't think he would understand. He would want to know everything and he would ask me questions that I didn't want to or didn't know how to answer.

Suddenly, a conversation I'd had two nights ago floated to my mind. _"__You know, if you ever need someone to talk to at school, I'll be there_." At first I'd doubted his sincerity, but for some reason when I thought back to it, I believed in his words whole heartedly, but maybe that's just what I wanted to believe. I finished my shower by washing my hair and then I went back to the dorm room and got changed into my school robes. I filled my bag with parchment, ink and quills then went down to the dining hall walking through the empty corridors, taking in the wonderful feeling of space and beauty that I'd been so deprived of during the summer. The sky around the horizon was turning a pale, cool blue, so the sun was nearly going to rise. The tables were completely empty except for the gold plates and utensils. I sat down somewhere in the middle of Gryffindor's table and in less than an instant food appeared in front of me. I filled my dish with some fruit salad and pulled all the things out of my bag. I didn't quite know how to start, but I put quill to paper and went ahead.

_**Dear Remus,**_

_**I wasn't sure if you were serious or not when you told me that I should come talk to you at school, but right now I feel that you're the only one who I can actually talk to, or will bother to listen. I had another nightmare last night, but it was different than the others. I think something bad is going to happen. I think Riddle is getting stronger. I know how paranoid I sound, but something just feels… wrong. It's getting harder to keep going with all this; I haven't slept properly in nearly three weeks. It feels like I'm fading away. I'm sorry to be putting this on you when it's so close to a full-moon, but I wouldn't have troubled you with this unless it were serious. I haven't really got anyone else to talk to, so thank you.**_

_** G.W.**_

__As satisfied as I figured I was going to be with it, I finished off the last kiwi and repacked my bag. I left the table to go to the owlery and mail him my letter. I said hello to Hedwig who was still the most gorgeous owl I had ever seen and called down to Pig, the feathered lunatic to come and deliver my letter to Remus. It took a few moments to calm his excitement down enough to tie the parchment onto his leg. I rolled my eyes to Hedwig who hooted disdainfully at the hyper ball of energy as he flew out the window and into the morning light. "Why can't we ever own anything that isn't completely mental?" I whispered, stroking Hedwig's glossy coat as she nuzzled my hand and gave me a soft nibble of affection. I took back what I said guiltily though as I remembered that Pigwidgeon was Sirius' gift to my brother as a replacement for Scabbers. I left the owlery regretfully, and headed back to the main level of the school.

When I got back to the hall, it was nearly full. I sat back down and tried to eat something else, but couldn't manage. Instead, I waited for McGonagall to hand out the timetables. When she got to me she gave me a long, penetrating look and handed me my schedule without a word. I couldn't imagine how horrible I appeared this morning. Good thing my brother came over and told me.

"Wow, Ginny! You look like shit." I shot him a scathing glare and Harry gave him an elbow to the ribs then smiled at me. I smiled weakly back. The post came in with hundreds of owls of all sizes and colouring swopping down to deliver letters. I watched as a familiar dork of a bird headed to the teacher's table and land in front of Remus without a modicum of grace, knocking over his cup, sending pumpkin juice over his breakfast. I wanted to smack my head on the table. He (and several other staff members) looked moderately affronted but generally amused. He untied it neatly from its leg and sent it off flying again. For a moment I panicked because I didn't want Ron to wonder why Pig was delivering post to one of our professors, but I needn't worry as he had food to occupy his mind at the moment. I could tell from all the way across the hall that his eyes widened then his brow furrowed in concentration. He looked up and stared directly down the Gryffindor table, searching for me. I snapped my eyes down, pretending to study my timetable.

When I looked back up he was stuffing the letter into the front of his robe and getting up to leave. I didn't quite know what to make of that, not knowing if he left because of me or not, but I decided to look at my new schedule for real and almost did hit my face against the table this time. Double Defence Against the Dark Arts this morning with Hufflepuff. _Love my life. _

I don't think I could have been more upset even if I'd had triple potions with Slytherin. I mean, as comfortable and willing as I'd been _sending _the letter, I wasn't exactly up to talking to him mere minutes after him receiving it. There was no way I could face him so soon afterwards, especially not before I found out how he'd responded to it. Harry though, looked over at my timetable jealously. I would have traded anything for his Transfigurations and History of Magic.

I followed the rest of the group back to our common room to get all of our textbooks, but when they left, I stayed behind, making sure I wouldn't be early. Sometimes the teacher's came in even earlier and I wasn't mentally prepped for being alone with him just yet. I couldn't even believe the nervousness that was taking over my whole body. _Maybe this is what happens when you bottle things up for so long, the minute you let any of it out, you have an anxiety attack... _As fate would have it, I finally looked to the clock and saw that I had only one minute to get there on time, and it was a five minute jog. _Love, love, __**love my life. **_Launching myself out of my chair and swinging my bag over my shoulder, I took off before my bag even landed. I couldn't believe that I was going to be late for my first class of the whole year! I did feel a little better when I saw other students hurrying through the halls in the same predicament, but not much since they looked like first years and were probably lost.

I made it to class in record time, and took a moment to catch my breath and tidy my appearance (my hair had flown all over and my robes were in disorder) and try to dry the embarrassing layer of perspiration that covered my face. My sedentary holidays got me completely out of shape. When I finally deemed myself presentable, someone spoke behind me, scaring the crap out of me.

"Late for your first class, Ginevra?" _You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me._

I whipped around and nearly dropped my bag. Suddenly I grew completely embarrassed with the man in question right in front of me. _Why the hell did I not go to class early?_

"I'm so sorry! I completely lost track of time and I swear it won't happen again! I―

"It's perfectly alright, as you can see, I'm not inside where I should be either. I won't tell if you won't tell," although his voice was jesting, his face remained serious and I saw that he was looking me over.

"Right," I replied, for lack of anything better to say.

There was a short awkward pause in which he frowned whilst looking at my face. I seemed to be the cause of many of these. I ran a hand subconsciously through my hair.

I decided to cut his inspection short and went to open the door. "Ginevra, wait a moment." Having no desire to do this, I continued to open the door.

I turned slightly and replied, "Later, it's your first class," then I went inside with him right behind me. The class finished all their chattering and took their respective seats, leaving of course the front row empty. _I must have been an awful person in previous lives._

Waiting for everyone to fully quiet down, Remus opened his carrying case and took out a stack of sheets of parchment and then began his first class since I was twelve. "Alright students, I'm sure a great deal of you remember me from your second year, but for those of you who can't be bothered to recall," a number of students chuckled and he paused to smile, "my name is Professor Lupin and I will be your new, old Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Today I'd like to begin with a little quiz to test your knowledge." Hearing a chorus of groans and mutterings he continued, "Now, this won't be for any marks, you don't even have to answer all the questions. It's just a demonstration to me of how much you've all learnt over the past years with all your other teachers. It will also give me a good idea of where to begin and where to spend more time. Mr. Creevy, would you please pass these out to everyone?" Colin, sitting in the second row behind me jumped at the fact that Remus remembered his name from when he'd been his teacher; then again, he hadn't really changed much.

The quiz was a double sided roll of parchment, full of almost every sort of Defence question imaginable: from defensive counter to identifying dangerous creatures. I felt pretty confident I'd answered most correctly by the time that I was done and was glad to see that I was one of the few who hadn't skipped any.

Remus was sitting at his desk writing while the other students finished up. Finally, when he appeared to be done he looked around to see how many of us had finished. He gave another five minutes and began collecting them. Naturally, I was first as I sat practically in front of him, but was shocked when he grabbed my page and slid another into my desk. I looked up questioningly, but he'd already moved on. I didn't dare open it while class was going on, then I mentally cursed that we had the same class afterwards, so there would be no break in between that I could sneak off to a washroom and read it. That was quite possibly the longest period of my life.

**TBC**

Author's note: First off, I'd like to make a special thanks to **TemperedRose **and **Drusila1987 **for being the first reviewers! You guys make me happy :) Here's another longer one, and I hope the story's starting to get more interesting, I'll have another one up by tomorrow I assume! Please review; it's such an easy task! I've got to write a whole chapter! That's much more effort than any review!


	6. Informed

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

Author's note: Okay, so no matter how many times I read through the books, I still don't know how they organise classes, because they don't have semesters and write all their exams at the end! Yet they have nine courses! At least Harry and Ron do at the end of their OWLs, so I'm just going to say they have two in the morning, two in the afternoon, and every week they have two of each class. Makes sense? Hope so because I don't know the legit way they run their show. Lol. 

**Chapter Six**

The bell rang for lunch and I rocketed out of my seat and ran to the nearest girl's washroom, thankfully not Moaning Myrtles. I sat myself down on a toilet, which was very awkward because I wasn't used to sitting on the toilet with my skirt still on. My heart was thudding a marathon in my chest as I carefully unfolded the piece of parchment. I almost stopped breathing when I saw that he'd written nearly three times as much as I had.

_**Ginevra,**_

_**I just want you to know that**_ _**I would never have said anything to you without absolute sincerity. I know you've had troubles in the past, letting people in and opening up to them, so I feel honoured that you would trust me enough to send me that letter. First of all, I would like to say that I'm concerned for you about these nightmares; they're truly taking too great a toll on you to let them go untreated. I could see it in your face the last few days and this morning you're looking more than unhealthy. I could talk to Madame Pomfrey for you (anonymously, if you wish, of course) to see if she would have some dreamless sleep potions. I believe that you should really consider taking them. **_

_**As for the dreams themselves, you say that Riddle is getting stronger. I know you've never told me outright, but I do know that you had a run in with You-Know-Who's residual memory during your first year, and I also believe that there could be a lasting link between you and him. There may be some reality to what he's telling you while you're asleep. I know it would go against your wishes to tell Dumbledore or else you'd have already done it, so I will abide by this unless I think there is a complete necessity in his knowledge, or your wellbeing is threatened.**_

_**You've also mentioned that you foresee something bad coming. I believe that if these are not dreams but something else, it may very well have already happened. You'll see what I mean in the paper tomorrow, but I would like to talk to you tonight about it. Once again, full-moon or not, I want you to keep telling me when things are troubling you because I consider you less of a student and more of an equal, a friend even . If you don't have any problems meeting me tonight after dinner, I will be in my office right after. **_

_** Sincerely,**_

_** Moony.**_

I reread it nearly five times, taking in more and more each one. _I consider you less of a student and more of a friend. _I don't think I'd ever really had someone call me their friend, as ridiculous as that sounds. I've always had acquaintances or people that I would say hi to in passing, but never an actual friend. Hermione doesn't really count seeing as how she wouldn't have the faintest idea who I was if I weren't Ron's little sister. Suddenly though, all the unhappy feelings I'd ever had in relation to this sad fact didn't seem so sharp. Someone whom I considered in much higher esteem than most others I knew actually took me seriously enough to trust me and let me trust them. It must be even more difficult for him than it has always seemed for me, to let someone get even moderately close. Having all three best friends seemingly murdered by the only other. Even when the truth was found out, it still wasn't much of a relief. And now to lose the last one, for the second time… I can't even comprehend it. Who really could?

_Maybe he just needs to let someone in as much as I do_?

I stared at the next inked sentence that read vividly in my mind: _it may very well have already happened._ I didn't quite know what to make of that. It filled me with great apprehension for very obvious reasons. Surely Voldemort hadn't grown strong enough to come out in the open? He'd been taking great care to stay hidden so that the wizarding world wouldn't know of his survival until it was too late! Especially now with Fudge disastrously pinning the break in at the Ministry on Sirius and fellow Death Eaters, some of whom he had allegedly freed from Azkaban. After learning from Dumbledore and from seeing Voldemort with his own eyes, he still managed a slightly abridged version of the story. What reached the papers was a version lacking Harry, Voldemort, any of us, any of the Department of Mysteries, the Order, or an honest accounting of Sirius' death. I almost didn't want to know what this could possibly mean. What would happen to the Britain if he began his attack on us all now? We're defenceless. Even more, does this mean that my nightmares were more than I had thought all those years? _What does that mean for me? Is Tom Riddle's spirit seeping into mine or has he already integrated himself into me? Am I helping him get stronger?_

I couldn't contain my panic. Suddenly last night's nightmare came flooding to the surface. He'd mentioned something about the two of us, fearing us. _What us? _Since there now is a chance that what he'd told me had been related to actual events in the present, but could he foretell events in the future? I had so many questions and not a single answer but for once in my life, I finally had someone I could talk to.

For the rest of the day classed dragged along in a blur. More than once Professor Sprout had to pull me back into the moment and out of my own thoughts. At least my history of being such a dedicated student was paying off in more ways than one because I did not get rebuked. I spent all of Herbology and Transfiguration organizing my thoughts and forming the words to express them. What seemed like days later, it was finally time for dinner. I followed the crowd towards the dining hall, my stomach already clenching in annoyance at the idea of food. I couldn't eat anything substantial with the tension of anxiety stressing out my whole body. The only reason I _did _go was because I knew Remus was certainly going to be there and if he noticed my absence, he would be even more worried if he thought I wasn't eating. Now that he was also concerned about my concerned about my health, he would absolutely take notice of my missing meals. This didn't bother me as it usually would have, I deeply disliked people putting their noses where it didn't belong, but for some reason, his concern made me feel good. It made me feel like there was someone who actually did care about me and not just because I was part of their family.

Through dinner though, there was a seat that was noticeably empty and it wasn't mine. Suddenly it was me who was full of concern. _Could the full-moon already be affecting him so strongly? It's nearly nine days away._ I waited rather patiently to see if he would show up, but finally my patience gave in. I figured that if he didn't show up for dinner because he was feeling ill, he would probably feel better with some food in him. I conjured up a thermos (a wildly handy spell my mother taught me years ago when we used to go "camping" outback of the house) and filled it with that night's potato and leek soup. I grabbed a couple slices of bread just in case.

Unsurprisingly, I left unnoticed.

I got to his door and began to feel a bit foolish. I mean, this was a grown man capable of getting his own dinner if he wanted to or not. Something kept nagging at my mind though, and I couldn't ignore it. _What am I supposed to say if he's fine and just didn't want dinner tonight? _I pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind and wilfully knocked. I waited nearly three minutes, and no one came to answer. I knocked again to no avail. I mentally kicked myself. _He was probably just late for dinner and now he's wondering where you are! Ginny, you're ridiculous._

Before I really knew what I was doing, I pushed against the door to open it. To my surprise, it gave. Teachers are usually overly careful about keeping them locked. I would too, who knows what students with a grudge would do to your private chambers? Snape came to mind at that moment.

Since the door was now opened a crack, I pushed it open a little wider and saw that inside, all the candles and torches were lit, illuminating every corner of the small room. The center of the room was filled by a large wooden desk and around it were a number of squashy chairs. A fireplace was nestled into the far wall so most of the space in the room was accounted for. On one end of the desk a cauldron simmered softly with blue steam spilling over the sides. One the nearest side of the desk was a pile of ungraded papers and an almost empty pot of coffee; only a thin layer of sediment remained at the bottom. Next to that rested a large mug.

In between these lay Remus' head. He was fast asleep, quill still in hand. Judging by the half marked paper beneath his head and the open bottle of ink beside his right elbow, he'd been in the middle of marking before he passed out. I slipped inside and soundlessly shut the door behind me. Next I blew out some of the candles to make the room a little less bright. Next I put my thermos on the desk and walked around to his side. Underneath him was a quiz similar to the one he'd given our class, but for his fourth years'. Feeling like a bit of a snoop, I saw that the writer of the half marked test must not have remembered much from years before, as I could see that the unmarked test looked nearly as desolate as the already marked portion. Underneath the bottle of red ink lay a long piece of parchment with all the answers on it. Gently I slipped the quill out of his hand and grabbed the bottle of ink, brining it and the page underneath it with me to the other side of the desk.

Having nothing else to do and feeling as if he deserved a break and thinking this would be a good way to ingrain certain answers into my own memory, I started marking the papers he had on his desk.

I was nearly done the second years' when he began to stir. First he flinched slightly and sat up straight, squinting his eyes and opening his mouth for an extensive yawn. Then he stopped, arms stretched above his head and blinked at me, taking a very long time to register what he was seeing. He didn't move a muscle, I wasn't even sure he was still breathing. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out and he just let it rest open in an unspoken word.

"You missed dinner," I offered, gesturing to the thermos. He looked towards it, trying to hide another yawn. "That was an hour ago." I added.

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Just over an hour," I tried to reply nonchalantly, but failed as all my attention was focused on not blushing.

"What have you been doing for all that time?" he seemed genuinely surprised, especially when my eyes flickered over to the marked pile of tests. His followed and his eyes widened. "You brought me dinner and marked my tests? I don't even know what to say,"

"Don't say anything; eat the soup, have some bread and let me finish." I replied without that weird hitch in my voice I get when I talk to people I don't really know, giving him my best Molly glare impression. It's amazing the things you can get people to do once you have that look mastered. Strangely enough, I'd been stressing out all day about being alone with him, worrying about how uncomfortable it would be, but at that moment, it felt like the most natural of things. I'd actually never felt so at ease with someone else.

By the time I'd finished the last paper, he was finishing up his last spoonful. _Perfect timing, Ginny._

"You didn't have to do that," he tried to explain, but I wasn't having it.

"Of course I didn't. But I did because I wanted to and it's helping me study all the stuff from previous years and you looked like another student who thought Gillyweed was something you smoked would finish you off," I replied with finality.

"Well, you got me there," he laughed after a long moment's decision. "How are you?" he asked, throwing me off guard. For a long period of time I'd actually forgotten why I was there.

"Good," I answered, on autopilot. Then I remembered who I was talking to and changed my mind. "Not so good."Instead of asking me what's wrong like most people normally would have, he sat back and let me have my own time. "I'm seriously starting to think that these dreams aren't what they used to be," I replied, having thought about it all throughout my afternoon classes, "They may have been at one time, but something's changed, sometime, during the summer. Now they're more real, more vivid, more exhausting and more confusing; I wake up feeling as if I haven't even gone to sleep. I find that I'm no longer understanding the things that Riddle's saying to me, but somehow still I always feel an unyielding sense that they have a great significance." I paused for Remus because it looked to me like he was taking a long time to absorb what I was saying.

"Yes, you briefly mentioned that in the letter this morning," he went back into his thoughts and I decided to wait for him to come back to the conversation until it became obvious that that wasn't going to happen soon.

"You also mentioned something having happened," I took a long breath because I knew that what he'd alluded to earlier wasn't going to be something I'd enjoy hearing. "You said that something bad had already happened." I didn't quite put it into a question, but I didn't really need to.

"Yes, it seems You-Know-Who's decided to make his first public move," I shuddered. A revelation of his wasn't as clean as him holding a press conference. Someone had to have suffered.

"Who was it?" I asked, not needing to explain how I knew.

"Duncan MacLeod's entire family. His wife and their three sons and two daughters; the oldest was 12. She was just starting her second year at Beauxbaton. They were murdered last night." Duncan MacLeod was by no means a random target. He was the former Chief Editor of Britain's most popular wizarding news print: The Daily Prophet. "Former" only because of his support for Dumbledore and Harry.

"And the Mark?"

"It wasn't in the sky, but tattooed on each of the bodies' left arms. The sign was clear enough."

"Does anyone know whether Voldemort was directly involved, or had Death Eater's done all the dirty work?" I was glad to see his face remain unchanged at the mention of Voldemort's name.

"It doesn't really matter, either way―

"They'll just pass it off as an everyday tragedy and find someone to pin it on, won't they?" I knew it would be true, but I still couldn't believe our government cared so little for the peoples' preservation.

"Do you think Fudge has it in him to admit Harry and Dumbledore have been right all along? Cause mass panic throughout Britain? No, Fudge is weak and easily manipulated. Even after seeing Voldemort face to face in the Department of Mysteries last year, he's only grown more afraid." Remus massaged his eyes with the palms of his hands. I leaned back in my chair, unable to respond. _What's going to happen now?_

"Dumbledore's organized a meeting for this weekend. He's got some sort of plan, though none of us know what it is. My fear is that he's becoming desperate. Voldemort's army is growing, there's no doubt, but Dumbledore has been unable to recruit the numbers he's been aiming for. Hagrid's progress with the giants went even worse than foreseen, and Dumbledore's appeal to the centaurs was ignored. In fact, he believes that they've now become even more hostile towards all wizards. The inhabitants of the Forbidden Forest have begun retreating deeper into the woods, sensing a great imbalance in the earth, or the stars, or whatever methods they have," he stopped and took a good look at my expression. I tried my best to rearrange my features so that they'd look less afraid, but I must have failed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be throwing this all at you," he apologized.

"These are things that I need to know, Remus." I replied strongly, using his first name out loud for the first time. "They're not things I want to hear, and I wish I would never have to, but that doesn't stop them from happening. I'm not like Fudge, I can't just pretend that there isn't a storm coming when I can see the clouds above me."

His eyes widened ever so slightly and I could only describe his gaze as approving. "Sometimes it's hard to remember that you're still so young. You've got insight far beyond your years."

I've never been one to take a compliment well, but then again, I've never been one to get many either. I looked away, blushing. No matter how comfortable I felt with him, scrutiny always made me feel awkward. "I suppose I've just had to deal with things a lot of kids my age haven't," I explained.

"Hmm," he replied, ambiguously. "I marked your test earlier today." The change of subject was so sudden that at first I hadn't the vaguest idea what he was talking about. Once I had caught myself up to what he was saying, I still didn't have a response. "You got top marks in the whole class, over one hundred percent." He was watching my face like a hawk, thought I didn't know what for. "You got all five bonus questions right with twenty minutes to spare." I didn't know what to think. For some reason I felt as if I'd done something wrong. _I shouldn't have answered those last five, I over did it. _"You don't exactly look pleased,"

I was at a loss for words, "I, uh, I guess I just got really lucky. I didn't know what I was writing half the time..." I trailed off pitifully.

"Are you that 'lucky' in all your other courses? Because from what I've heard, all your teachers have the highest expectations of you on your O.W.L.s next year. They tell me you're far more advanced than any of their other student's." I don't think my face could have gotten any redder.

"I do okay I guess, nothing compared to Hermione or―

"Were you aware that you've scored the highest mark in the past few decades on multiple exams? Even higher than almost all of Hermione's." he smiled at my look of horror. "Not that I should be comparing you to other student's, but you are by far one of the most brilliant and capable witch's of your age and many years above. I find it even more astounding how little you believe it."

I couldn't even look him in the eye because for some reason I was about to cry. For so long I'd been a part of the background and accepted it. It felt completely wrong to be so highly appraised by someone, it felt like I was taking credit for someone else's achievements. But how was I supposed to explain that to him without sounding like a complete nutter?

"…Thanks," I finally replied at last, awkwardly.

"It's getting late, Ginevra. I would hate to keep you out past curfew. It would be the highlight of Filch's week if he caught a student out of bed, although you are a prefect, I'm sure he would try to punish you with detentions." It was quite obvious that he felt bad about making me feel bad. This made me feel even worse. "Here, I've got something for you," He rummaged around in his desk for a while, and finally, when the suspense almost killed me, he pulled out a large brick of chocolate wrapped in silver foil. I breathed a sigh of relief, not knowing what I'd been expecting. "Here, take this. I find that it helps after a bad night of sleep and it gives you a little warmth on the inside. It's also delicious. What more could you want?" he grinned so brightly that I couldn't bear denying him.

I even managed to give a smile myself and suddenly the air was cleared of all unpleasant feelings. I dropped the bar into my bag and thanked him wholeheartedly. He walked me to the door and bid me goodnight.

"Goodnight, Remus. I'll see you tomorrow." When I gave one last look up at him and saw the awful weariness in his whole person, something in me made my arm reach out and grasp his hand; it was warm and slightly calloused. He didn't pull away, or even look surprised. Instead he gently squeezed mine back. "Get some sleep." I told him, slipping my hand out of his, and not looking back as I walked away.

**TBC**

Author's note: Well I'm quite pleased with how long this chapter is. I'd like to thank **Bewinha **for the review, keep 'em coming guys! If I can pump out this many chapters right now, imagine how many more I'd feel compelled to write with the added motivation of reviews! Well, I'll probs have the next one out in two days because I'm starting to try and keep them a little more lengthy, and with length comes time. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment!


	7. Withholding

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

Author's note: I did change the summary a little bit because I find writing a summary before you've got the story down is a bit difficult, and things tend to change. So the new one fits more.

**Chapter Seven**

It had been over a week since I'd spent the evening talking to Remus in his office and since the arrival of the post announcing the tragedy of the MacLeod family. Although predictably played off as a simple breaking and entering gone awry, all throughout the school were whisperings of stories much closer to the truth. Many Ministry member's with older students at Hogwarts had sent their children letters explaining the reality of the situation. Many, including mine.

Everyone was on edge, especially the teachers. Almost all of them were wondering if this were the beginning of a time they'd wished to never see again.

With the weekend passed, I desperately wanted to talk to Remus and ask him how the meeting had gone, but he was still recovering from last night's full-moon and wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning.

I was still feeling a little sore in my pride because Harry, Hermione and my brother had been included into the meeting, yet I hadn't. It really pissed me off because they weren't even of age yet, I mean of course Harry should go, but just because they're his friends and he's unable to keep a secret from them... Especially since I was only 8 months younger than Ron and I knew just as much about the Order as they did. I felt a little childish complaining about how unfair it all was, but I didn't really care. _I have just as much right to be there, maybe even more than Ron or Hermione. _

For the past week I'd been spending most of my time in the library or at a table tucked away in the corner of the common room. My social life wasn't exactly flourishing with Remus incapacitated. Isn't that sad? Anyways, the library was almost always empty, I mean, who needs to use the library during the first week back of school? Sometimes Colin came to do a bit of revision, or just to have someone to talk to. We did used to be quite close when we were younger… well, we used to just like to talk about Harry a lot and study together. We had tried going on a few dates last year, but we agreed it was too awkward. But now we usually ended up talking about our plans for after our seventh year. This was a topic that was becoming increasingly popular amongst our year, especially with our O. this year and our career meetings with our Head of House. I didn't really have a clue; my future always seemed so far away, or so I thought. My meeting with McGonagall this week turned out quite differently than I imagined.

On Monday I'd had mine with Professor McGonagall to discuss my options. At first I was so stressed out because it was just my luck to be the first Fifth Year that she met with and I'd had really no time to prepare myself. The first thing she said to me was "relax" and just use this time to brainstorm. She'd asked me what I would like to do after I graduated so I started spewing out all the things people had been telling me I would be good at: medi-witch, journalist, teacher... She quickly stopped me and asked me again, what would _I _like to do after graduation?

I didn't answer immediately, of course I'd _thought _about it, but I never really thought about letting someone else know. Although I'd never told anyone, _especially _not my parents or brothers, I'd always known that I wanted to be part of the front lines in the movement towards eradicating all of Voldemort's followers. Probably due to feeling his evil first hand and being manipulated and haunted by him. Finally, I simply answered that I'd like to be a field-agent.

I don't think I have ever seen her smile so brightly. "I don't think there is any job that could suit you more appropriately, Miss Weasley. You've been my student for nearly five years and I believe that you have more strength and fearlessness than most people give you credit for. There is little that you are not capable of. With these storm clouds gathering over all our heads, they will need as many people with your passion as can be found," I didn't respond, not sure how to. I didn't see myself as particularly strong _or _brave, but her conviction made me hold my tongue when I thought about voicing my doubts.

McGonagall gave me a booklet full of all the requirements and expectations of a field-agent in the Auror division. Along with this came a list of processes involved in actually becoming one. Even with her support though, I couldn't tell my parents. If they didn't even want me to be part of an Order meeting, why would they allow me to join the ranks of one of the most dangerous professions in the wizarding world? Back in the day when Voldemort was at the height of his power the death rate for all Aurors was one in every four. Things have quieted down much in the past seventeen years, but I had a sense that the numbers would soon reach back up. Even with this in mind, I left her office believing for the first time that I could actually fulfill my dream.

After that meeting I went ahead and did _a ton_ of research. Much to my surprise, I found that there were actually tests you could take for the program before you graduated. You had to be in your sixth year at school and have received more than five Outstandings on your O.. You would also need to have four teacher references as well as your headmaster's. I was actually shocked that they didn't need parental permission, but I wasn't complaining. Although there were a few options, I decided to just get my basic healer level. To become an Auror you need your basic, intermediate and advanced healing certifications for the practical reasons and if you wanted to work out in the field like I did, you needed your superior healing certification because of the certainty of danger in the line of action.

I would have to meet with an instructor and have four evening lessons for a week for a month and then write an exam. If all worked out perfectly, I would have my certificate in just over a year.

After having finished every assignment possible, even those due in a week, I left the library. No matter how peaceful it was to have all that time to myself, I was bored out of my mind. I grabbed a few texts that caught my attention earlier, and then I headed back to Gryffindor Tower. I went straight up to my dorm and dropped off all my school stuff then changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, thinking I'd go for a jog while the weather was still nice out since it would only last for so long. I headed back down to the see what everyone else was up to before I left.

I glanced around the common room to see if the trio was around, and no surprise, they were huddled together on a set of chairs pushed into the farthest corner. They were so close together in conversation that they didn't even see me approach. They were talking in such hushed tones that I couldn't catch what they were saying until I was right behind them.

"... still, that doesn't mean it has to do with her at all! I mean―

"Oh, come off it Ron! What other girl could it be? Especially since she's the only one I know that also has a connection to _him,_" I stopped in my tracks. I tried my very hardest not to assume they were talking about me, but I couldn't help it.

Hermione and her voice of reason cut in, "Harry, I hate to be the one to say this, but you've had dreams about You Know Who before that haven't been real," it was obvious she was alluding to the painful topic of Sirius. "He's manipulated your mind through this link before."

"Hermione, you don't―

"Understand? Harry, Hermione and I are much more capable than you're giving us credit for. Especially Hermione, we both know that she's smatter than the two of us put together!" I could almost hear Hermione blushing. I felt very proud of my ridiculous brother. "But Harry, if this is my sister we're talking about, I'm going straight to Dumbledore whether you will or not." I could see the back of Hermione's head nodding in agreement.

"I personally think we should tell Ginny." There was a very long pause after she'd said these words. From the back it seemed as if Ron's confidence had completely faltered.

I couldn't stand it any longer, so I spoke up. "Tell me what?" I swear they all jumped a foot off their seats. Each of their faces went red with guilt as they tried to avoid my eye. I made my face look as innocently curious as possible and asked again. "Hermione, tell me what?" I felt quite bad when she looked to the others in panic. Even though she believed that I should know whatever it was that I should know, she was still more loyal to them. That pissed me off.

"Oh, um... well..."

"Um, we weren't really talking about anything in particular, you know?" Nice try Harry.

"Yeah, we weren't actually talking about you at all, Gin" With my hands on my hips and a glower on my face, they all paled. My patience had reached its very short limit. I may not be Molly Weasley, but there was no doubt I'm her daughter.

"Well it sure as hell _sounded _like it had to do with me. Maybe if you weren't so busy staging your secret conversations in the middle of the common room you would have noticed me standing here earlier. " I seethed. They didn't respond and I knew that they weren't going to. As I stormed away, I heard Hermione berating them both. _Oh, thanks. _I left the common room and made my way down to the Quidditch pitch, muttering angry curses the whole way.

A pastime that had grown on me over the past year was running. I'd taken it up in my fourth year when Umbridge had suspended Harry, Fred and George and I took over as seeker temporarily. I trained like a freaking mad woman to earn the team's respect and prove to them that I was a serious player and not going to let them down. I guess it paid off. Ever since then I'd used running as a sort of meditation. It's what I did at school when I was up before the rest of the castle. It helped me sort out my thoughts or at least exhaust them so that I didn't have enough energy to be angry or anxious. Oh, and it kept me fit.

All summer I'd been deprived of this luxury, having been holed up in 12 Grimmauld place for two months so I obviously wasn't in peak condition. I was almost dead after one lap, but I pushed myself to the limits with the second one. I half jogged, half walked one more to cool down. I was feeling so good about myself that it didn't even faze me when Ravenclaw came out for an early year practice and politely asked me to leave when I was just sitting in the bleachers watching. I didn't mind, I wouldn't have wanted one of their players watching our practice either. I went into the girl's change room and took a quick 10 minute shower, heading back up to the castle when I was done.

I avoided going back to the Tower because I was feeling so revitalized and I didn't want them to ruin it for me. Also I would certainly be unable to control my annoyance and most definitely cause a Weasley Temper scene. Suddenly, a certain painting of a bowl of fruit came to mind, so I walked in the direction of the great hall, only a floor lower. I was very excited by my wonderful idea.

I stopped in front of the magnificent painting and the pear in the giggled when I tickled him (yes, I gave it a gender) and then transformed into a green door handle. I pulled the door open and stepped into the kitchen. There were only a few elves about since dinner had been finished hours ago and they didn't need to have anything prepared until breakfast. There were other things to do around the castle anyways. But even still, I was usually stormed with a heard of elves when I got in, so I was a little surprised when not one of them noticed my entrance. I took a glance around the immense room and saw that someone was already in there being ambushed.

"Miss Wheezy! Miss Wheezy! It's been so long!"Dobby, my personal favourite elf in the whole wide world ran over to me and hugged my shins. I kneeled down and patted his head. This week he was wearing some sort of floral pattern dress that looked suspiciously like a shower curtain.

The other occupant turned around at the sound of Dobby's cries and beamed when he saw me and I couldn't help but return it. "Ginevra! What were the chances of seeing you down here?" Remus Lupin was looking beyond pleased. Having finished with the full-moon until next month, he must have been feeling completely relieved. I felt a smile break over my face.

"Hello Remus, raiding the kitchen for a late dinner?" I walked over to him with Dobby hot on my heels. For a second I was embarrassed at being so dishevelled but then I realized he really wouldn't care either way so I probably shouldn't either. And I _definitely_ should not be wanting to look my best for my professor.

"It's not so much a raid as a force feeding; I don't think they'd forgive me if I didn't have a complete meal." He was sitting at the end of one of the long tables, matching those in the hall above. I sat across from him and asked Dobby if he could make me up a fruit smoothy. I'm completely obsessed with fruit.

When I got close enough, I was able to see Remus' features in better detail. It appeared that he still held a few traces of his wolfish transformation. His eyes were still a bright yellow, and the pupils were a different shaped. His eye brows were darker and much thicker and his stubble was growing in the same colour. He looked completely worn, but happy. He caught me looking and I apologized.

"Don't worry; sometimes even I can't resist giving myself a long look in the mirror after a transformation. I'll be completely normal in the morning though. Sorry you had to see me so soon after," I couldn't believe how self conscious he was.

"You know, it really doesn't matter to me what you look like." He didn't respond, and I could have sworn I saw a hint of an embarrassed blush so I changed the subject. "How did the meeting go?"

"Not so good," he sighed, frustrated. I waited. "Dumbledore's at a loss of how to proceed. He was so sure that Fudge and the Ministry would come over once they saw the destruction and chaos of the Department of Mysteries last year, but they've become even more recalcitrant. We're so few in numbers now that we could be taken out in one easy wipe. It's becoming more and more dangerous with The Ministry _and _the Death Eater's opposing us."

It really started to hit me just how desperate our side was becoming. "But surely with Duncan McLeod's murder, they must be realizing how much danger everyone is in?"

"Well there's no doubt about that. In the past few months almost every Ministry official has paid through the nose with upgrading all their home security. Some members have even packed up their families and moved them overseas. They may pretend that nothing is coming, but they're acting in direct response to the very real threat."

"So they're completely alright with letting the rest of us continue on in ignorance and leaving us to fend for ourselves once the war breaks out? That's _sick_" I raged, frightening the misfortunate pair of elves that came to clear away our dishes. I was so furious that I didn't even realize how tightly I'd been clenching my fist until my palm started hurting. "How can they live with themselves? It's their _jobs _to look after their people!"

"Obviously I agree with you, but things aren't easy for those who are with us. Look at your father, he's been working in his department for over 20 years but they would still fire him without hesitation if he openly showed his support for Dumbledore. Look what happened to McLeod and his entire family. No one wants that to be there son's and daughter's. Voldemort's most powerful weapon right now is fear. And right now's a particularly tough time for us." he paused for a moment and then looked down at his pocket watch, "Is it nearly nine already?"

"WHAT?" I shouted, completely taken out of the moment. Remus looked up at me perplexed! "Crap!" I jumped up off my bench and ran to the door without stopping to say goodbye.

"Ginny, what's wrong?" he shouted, incredibly concerned.

"Prefect meeting!" I shrieked over my shoulder before stepping out of the portrait hole. All I could hear was his laughter echoing behind me.

**TBC**

Author's note: I'm sorry this chapter took me so long to update! I wasn't really feeling to into it, I really just had to write it to get it out of the way for more interesting things... like a Halloween dance perhaps? ;) Sorry, I can't resist. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it, and I do hope you'll find it in your heart to review! I promise the next chapter will be more interesting and posted much faster! Until then, folks!


	8. Hysterics

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Eight**

"Hermione, I'm so sorry I'm late! I got held up!" I wheezed breathlessly. I had decided to momentarily forget that I was upset with her. She smiled warmly, and I felt a bit better. Luckily I hadn't missed anything because they'd just started. I sat down beside Toby with as much grace as I could muster and tried to silence my panting. Malfoy took one look at me and snorted with laughter. I shot him back a glare, but even though he was being an arse, I must have looked ridiculous with my hair half dry and flying everywhere, my face bright red and wearing nothing but my jogging outfit. _Oh well._ Ron was trying to catch my eye, but I wasn't letting _him_ off so easily.

"Alright guys, Hermione and I both realize that it's only the second week into school but here's some big news to start the meeting. We've been talking to Dumbledore and he's allowing us to host a Halloween dance this year!" Stephen paused for effect as everyone in the room turned to their neighbours to start talking. Even someone like me who wasn't very social couldn't help but grin and feel a little excitement.

"That's brilliant! Claude, how'd you two manage that one? We haven't had any sort of dance since the Triwizard Tournament!" Arlene, a Ravenclaw girl asked.

"Well I actually didn't have much to do with it, all the credit goes to Hermione. She's the one we should all be thanking!" On cue, Hermione flushed an unhealthy shade of magenta.

"Right, thank you Stephen. So, what this means for us as prefects, is that we're going to need you lot to hang some poster with details for the dance in each of your common room's, even though I'm certain everyone in the school will know everything by the end of the week. On Halloween we'll all be taking part in decorating the hall, and we're even looking into getting a live band to play like we had at the Yule Ball, but we won't worry about that until the date comes closer." she said, turning to look at Stephen. He beamed, giving her a thumbs up. I didn't miss the smile in her eyes when she turned to face the rest of the group. Maybe I'd have to have a talk with her after.

The rest of the meeting had to do with basically setting down a final meeting schedule and a patrol schedule for the next month that would be able to work for everyone. After about half an hour, everything was ironed out and we all had an individual copy of our set times and dates.

"Okay guys, that's it for tonight! Have a good one; we'll see you next week!" Stephen concluded and waited at the door for everyone to leave.

"Hermione, could I walk back to the common room with you? I wanted to have a little chat." I said as sweetly as I could, and saw her panic. "Don't worry, it's not about what you guys were supposedly not talking about," she visibly relaxed and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I turned around to leave, but standing at the door was Ron and Stephen. Ugh.

"It's alright boys, Hermione and I are going to have some girl time," they instantly became uncomfortable, and left together awkwardly. "Okay Missy, what's going on with you, my brother and that Ravenclaw?" I demanded, turning on her as soon as we started to walk. This wasn't any of my business nor did I want to get involved in any way… and I was still incredibly annoyed at all of them, but the sooner this disastrous little love triangle was sorted out, the better things were going to be for _everyone_. If Hermione was going to egg Ron on to be a complete idiot, he's going to do just that. And who is she going to turn to when she's upset at how daft my brother is? Yours truly, of course.

"Well," she began timidly, "Stephen asked me to be his date to the dance," I nearly didn't catch it as she spoke so quickly.

"And?"

"And what?"

"_Hermione!_ What did you say when he asked you?"

"I said I'd get back to him," she replied, miserably.

"And Ron?"

Finally she snapped. "I can't take it Ginny! He's completely incapable of taking any sort of initiative! I thought that when I told him I had feelings for him at the end of last year it would get him to open up to me and we'd finally _have _something together! He hasn't even openly told me he likes me back yet! I know he does, and he acts like he does, but he still can't find it in him to tell me! It's like he's waiting for me to make every move because he knows that I will. But I'm so close to having had enough. He hasn't even properly asked me out yet he's now acting so overprotective I can't even be caught talking to another boy without him losing it! He actually got in a snit last night because I went to work in the library with _Harry_! I don't know if I can take it anymore!" she was nearly in tears.

I actually didn't feel as bad as I expected I should have. I mean, this girl had known my brother for nearly seven years, she can't have been all _that _surprised, right?

"Do you want to go to the dance with Stephen?" I asked, rather reasonably in my opinion.

"I guess, sort of," I gave her a pointed look. "Oh alright, yes I do. I just don't want to hurt your brother's feelings." Understandable.

"How about Ron, do you want to go to the dance with him?" She was clearly confused.

"Well, I don't know. He hasn't asked me, so what does it matter?"

"What if he did?"

"Did what?" _Are you kidding me? _Sometimes I often think about revoking her "smartest witch of her age" label.

"If my brother Ronald asked _you_ to the Halloween dance as his _date_, would you say yes?"

"Well yes, but what would I say to Stephen?"

"Worry about that later. Here's what you're going to do. You will wait exactly three weeks to give Ron enough of a chance to ask you. You will not ask him about it and you will not tell him about Stephen. Clear? If my brother does not pluck up the courage to ask you, all by himself, by the time October rolls around, you are going to accept Stephen Claude, the cute Ravenclaw chaser's invitation to the dance with him. You will have the best damn night of your life and you will put all thoughts of Ronald Weasley from your mind because he's being a knob. Understood?"

"But―

"_Understood?" _Before I even knew what was happening, she completely enveloped me in a tight hug. For a moment I was so startled that I didn't even know how to react but I soon found myself hugging her back just as tightly.

She pulled away quickly, wiping a stray tear. We started to walk again. "Ginny, I'm so sorry about this evening! I wanted to tell you so badly, but it really isn't my place and I don't think that Harry would easily forgive me if I did. I really think you should go talk to him though. He's sure to see your side of the matter once he hears what you've got to say. I've already got him admitting that he wouldn't find it fair were he in your position." she quickly blew her nose on a handkerchief and then continued. "You know Ginny, you're probably the best, if not _only, _real girl friend I've ever had. Even before I came to Hogwarts. I just feel like you do so much more for me than I ever do you, and I feel so horrible!" She started crying all over again. I started crying for the first time. It wasn't a pretty sight. Sometimes girls just bring out the ridiculousness in each other.

"Oh, Hermione! It's perfectly alright; I know you've got so much on your plate this year: Head Girl duties, Ronald duties, Boy Who Lived's smart bestfriend duties, and you've got all your advanced classes to be worrying about! I don't even know how you could possibly handle it all!"

We had to stop walking so we could hug again. Now laughter joined our tears as we apologized for more and more ridiculous things back and forth. Hermione apologized for a pair of socks she'd borrowed and never returned two summers ago, and I apologized for the library book she lent me that I returned a whole year late. We were a hysterical mess and that's exactly how my very most favourite DADA teacher found us.

"Ahem," he coughed, clearing his throat loudly. We separated ourselves from each other and tried to look presentable. Hermione wanted to show a good representation of a responsible and serious Head Girl to her professor, while I just wanted to not look like a fool in front of Remus "Is everything alright?"He glanced at the two of us with a face full of mild concern. We glanced briefly at each other. Big mistake.

Hermione's eyes were sparkling with laughter and the corners of her mouth were trying hard to hold still. I felt my nose flare as it always did when I was about to lose my cool with laughter. Hermione noticed as well and that was that. We both lost it. She let out a snort and I had to hold my ribs they pained me so much. I was bent over laughing so hard that I wasn't making any noise, only my gasps for air. We tried to hold onto each other for support, nearly falling over in the process. Tears streamed down both our faces. I was in so much pain.

Hermione tried her very best to give some sort of explanation but for every word she got out, she had to take a twenty second pause to finish laughing. We actually did manage to gain some sort of composure, but when we looked at Remus' expression and saw how at a loss he was, our calm broke once more.

"I think I'll just go..." he said, retreating quickly. It was nearly another twenty minutes before we managed to get back to the common room. I tried to shush her on multiple occasions, but nothing helped.

"I'm Hermione Granger, I'm a freaking saint to them!" this set us both off so badly.

It was no surprise that Ron had been waiting up. He looked positively scandalized when Hermione and I stumbled through the portrait hole, snickering. He opened his mouth to tell Hermione off (of course her and not me) and I quickly saw how easily her mood dissipated. I wasn't going to allow him to ruin her night like he had already done to mine earlier.

"Ronald Weasley, you are absolutely forbidden to say whatever it is that you think you have a right to say! Hermione and I have just finished having a delightfully intellectual and very serious conversation with Professor Lupin and now we must retire," I replied haughtily, somewhere along the way I'd adopted a very stilted, queenly accent. I could have kept the act up had Hermione not slapped both hands to her mouth to smother a bad case of giggles, but as it so happens, we had to make a getaway up the girl's staircase and into my room where we collapsed in a heap on my bed.

We stayed up a little longer, wondering what we would say to Remus in the morning and if Stephen would ask her to be his girlfriend on Halloween. Finally, when we became too exhausted to weave together logical sentences, we bid each other goodnight and she left to sleep in her own room. I used up all my remaining energy to get changed. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, feeling for the first time how normal teenage girls must feel.

The three weeks came and went much faster than I cared to admit. Summer was losing its last hold on the landscape, the nights were coming quicker and cooler. The leaves were starting to change. And Ron had still made no attempt to ask Hermione so she'd finally said yes to Stephen. Apparently the whole school but Ron knew.

I couldn't really tell if she'd really wanted to go with him, or if she was just trying to get back at Ron, but I didn't really want to make it any more of my business. Plus, she was clearly happier without having to chase my git of a brother around. Unfortunately, Harry was caught in the middle of it as usual without really having any idea what _it _was.

Speaking of Harry, I had yet to talk to him, despite Hermione's pleas to do so. I tried to forget about it but every now and then I caught him staring at me in deep concentration. It was driving me absolutely mental and needed to be stopped.

How perfect then was it that he was the only one in the common room when I went down for breakfast that morning?

"Hullo, Harry," there was a deep concern evident in his eyes. Then again, I'd be worried if the one I'd been avoiding for the past three weeks suddenly had me cornered.

"Oh, good morning, Ginny," he returned hesitantly.

"What are you up to right now?"_I've got you now!_

"Oh, well, um... I was just going to hang out up here until Ron and Hermione come back... What about you? Heading down for breakfast?" I felt a little bit cruel, he sounded so hopeful.

"I was actually going to wait for Hermione as well, only if that's alright with you of course," I smiled sweetly. He started to sweat.

"Course," I sat down in the chair opposite him and watched as he pulled at a thread from the seams of one of the pillows.

I decided to stop playing it nicely, and come right out and say what I wanted to say. "Harry, you and I both know that I have the right to know. Just the same as you had the right to know all those things that people had kept from you," _Hook, line and sinker. _

"Ginny, you've got to understand that it might legitimately have nothing to do with you, in fact there's a very good chance that―

"_Tell me._" I was getting pretty impatient and more than a little troubled. Harry doesn't exactly have the happiest of dreams either, you see. And I certainly didn't think being a part of them was going to be very uplifting. The last time he dreamed about someone in my family, it was my father being attacked and bleeding to death.

"Alright, okay," he took a deep breath, clearly going against his will as he continued. "I had a dream one night. Voldemort was talking to his snake."

"Nagini," I contributed.

"Yes. Anyways, he was talking in Parseltongue which of course I could understand because, well, you know." I nodded in reassurance. "So he was talking to Nagini and kept repeating things like _he'd found her_, or saying that he would _finally be whole once he had her_. How he'd _recover his missing piece. _He said that he would_ be with her soon _and that he would," Harry actually choked on his own words. I knew it was going to be something horrible. "He said that he would..." he couldn't say it, but I absolutely needed him to.

"He would _what_?" I tried to keep my cool, but my voice cracked with uncontained anticipation.

Harry looked down and murmured so quietly I almost missed it. "He would _eat her soul." Holy Mother of God. _I felt nauseous. The blood was draining from my face and extremities. There really was no doubt in my mind that a part of him resided in me. I just didn't know that the Voldemort of my time knew it too. I stood up and walked away without another word. I heard him calling my name but it faded into the background of my thoughts.

I grabbed my bag and headed to class nearly half an hour early. I'm not quite sure if it was luck or not, but that morning I had my double DADA classes. I went into the class because Remus had an unusual habit of leaving his doors unlocked when he wasn't around. What a trusting man. I took my seat front row, right in front of his desk as usual. I sat back straight, staring ahead, completely losing sight of the blackboard in front of me as I tumbled into a pool of horrible thoughts.

**TBC**

Author's note: Well would you look at that? Two chapters, one day? I guess I just felt so bad for taking so long to upload the other one, and finally the block up of writing is being unleashed! Hopefully you liked this one, the next one should be coming soon! I'd also like to thank my **anonymous **reviewer for the wonderful review :) That definitely got me motivated to pump out another chapter for you all! And yes, you most certainly did read something about a dance! Probs going to be in the next chapter, if not then, the chapter after! No later than that though! Hope you're all doing wonderfully and will leave a review! Thank you thank you thank you! 


	9. Confession

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Nine**

"Miss Weasley, class is over." I looked around me, a few students lingered near the door, while they waited for their friends to pack up their things.

"Sorry," I mumbled distractedly.

The back to back DADA classes had been some of the worse I'd ever had. For the life of me, I couldn't concentrate on a single word that Remus had said. It seemed as if he stopped speaking English. I couldn't even will myself to pull out my text when he gave us a sheet of questions to answer. I looked them over, but they made no sense to me. I handed it in blank. My mind was still completely occupied with what Harry had told me.

"Something is obviously bothering you, is everything alright?" _Oh yeah, nothing's wrong. It's not like I just found out that Voldemort is dreaming about having a little snack on my soul. I'm just peachy._

"Ginevra," we were now the only ones left in the class, "what is it?" I hated making him worry about me, but I really was feeling messed up.

"Harry had another dream," I didn't need to explain the impact of this statement. Last time Harry had one of his dreams, Remus' best friend ended up dead. He pulled up a chair beside me. "He dreamt that Voldemort was talking about some girl. He said that he would have her soon and that he would be whole once she was with him. Harry told me that Voldemort wants to have her soul."

"And you think that it's you?" he asked seriously, without any doubt or scepticism in his voice.

"Remus, for the past month I've been trying to make sense of Tom's cryptic messages, only half believing that they were real. Now Harry's had a dream of the living Tom Riddle and apparently he's saying the exact same things that I've been hearing over and over again in my sleep. There's undeniably a part of him that stayed in me and now he wants it back." I had a feeling that I was sounding a bit hysterical, but it couldn't be helped.

"And he―

"Is going to go Dementor on my soul?" I had my hands clenched in tight fists, gouging my fingernails painfully into my palms. Remus reached over and grabbed one of my hands, and unclenched it into his own.

"Ginevra, do you remember when I told you that I would not tell anyone about your dreams unless I honestly believed that Dumbledore needed to know or your well being was at stake?" I nodded, knowing what was coming. "Well right now I feel that this falls under both of those."

I wanted to open my mouth and respond, but I didn't want to hear my voice quiver. If I did, I'd absolutely start to bawl. My throat was doing that thing where it hurts so much to keep in the tears so instead of replying, I nodded my head again. He squeezed my hand firmly, and I squeezed back. I knew he was right and that Dumbledore should be made aware if Voldemort was planning anything but I didn't know how comfortable I was in talking to him when those plans involved me.

"I'm sorry, I know that you don't want to talk to him, but I truly believe that you need to."

I still couldn't speak and my eyes were prickling painfully. He pulled me closer to him, letting go of my hand to wrap both arms around me. I didn't hesitate and I relaxed into his chest. I'd never been so supported by anyone in my entire life, and a tear or two may have escaped. I took a few deep breaths to try and regulate my breathing.

I had a sudden thought, "would you come with me? Dumbledore sort of makes me nervous."

"If you'd like me to," I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. There was a pause then I felt his chest rumble as he let out a little laugh. "You know, I don't think there's anyone he _doesn't _make nervous." Suddenly I felt so much better. I actually started to feel tranquil. I now had the sniffles so when I breathed deeply into Remus' robes, I was reminded so strongly of my home. He smelt like the outdoors, like grass and fresh air. I missed the Burrow. I hadn't been back in over a year. I sighed deeply through my nose and moved away.

"You need some lunch," I told him, and he looked bewildered.

"You're telling me that _I _need lunch? I don't think you even had breakfast this morning."

"Well, I had other things to think about." _Clearly._

"Hmm," he replied, taking a moment to evaluate the situation. "If I had lunch brought up to my office would you eat?" The kitchens would be an absolute zoo right now, so it's best to avoid them during meals or even anytime before.

"Sure," I laughed when he looked at me disbelieving. We headed into his office and he used the floo to order down to the kitchens. I set my bag on the floor and made myself comfortable in my favourite chair. _Is it wrong that I have a favourite chair in my Professor's office? _

An exceptionally excited Dobby popped into the room carrying two trays full of bread, lunch meat and a variety of veggies. We ate in contented silence. When done, Remus asked me if I was looking forward to the Halloween dance.

"Yeah, I kind of am. I don't know if I can handle the drama between Hermione and my brother until then though. I've also got to figure out my costume, and I'm horrible at deciding. Plus, I'll be on decoration duty with the other prefects and we still haven't completely agreed on all that stuff. I'm also trying to help Hermione find a band to come play, she wasn't able to book the Weird Sisters, but Visibly Gone is our next choice and right now we're just owling back and forth." I sighed, I hated party planning. I couldn't even handle getting a couple of friends together for my birthdays, it stressed me out so much.

"Well I'm sure the two of you will get it all sorted out," he offered.

"Yeah, I sure Hermione would die before she let her first event as Head Girl fall through," he gave an understanding chuckle. I couldn't help but enjoy when he laughed. It took nearly ten years off his face. It was easy to see how he would have been while he was a student at Hogwarts. I felt a great weight settle in my stomach as I realized how much he had lost.

"So have you planned on going with anyone?" the question was nothing but innocent curiosity, but I definitely was feeling embarrassed.

"I'm not really sure. I'll probably just go with Colin or Dean or someone." For some reason I didn't want to be talking about my potential dates with Remus. Thankfully, he didn't pursue the topic.

"I think it's nearly time for your next class, you should probably start heading there," he was right, especially since I had to make it all the way down to Greenhouse 3. I got up and stretched. Remus followed suit.

"Thanks for the lunch," I paused, unsure whether I should add more. "And, um, thanks for―

He held a hand up to stop me. "I'm always glad to help, Ginevra," he looked meaningfully into my eyes. "I'll send you an owl this evening concerning your meeting with Dumbledore. I'm certain that he'll want to speak with you soon."

"Right," was all I had to say on the matter. And right he was. That night after dinner I received two owls. One from Dumbledore asking me to come to his office at 8 o'clock and one from Remus telling me he'd meet me outside Dumbledore's office at quarter to. I spent a whole hour sitting on my bed chewing my nails into nonexistence. When I had nothing left to bite, I rummaged through my trunk to search for something, _anything _to occupy my time. I found the diary I'd bought over the summer and decided that it would do. For the first time since I'd gotten the pair of letters, I stopped counting down the minutes until I had to leave. Soon the time had melted away and I had ten minutes to get to his office.

I pulled my hair into a high pony tail and threw on a sweater. _Game time. _

"Ginny, where are you going?" my brother called from across the common room. I was instantly filled with the annoyance that only a sibling can inspire._ What's it his business where I go? _Hermione grabbed his arm and pulled him back around, giving me the thumbs up over his shoulder. I returned the gesture appreciatively and left. I spent the entire walk there mentally preparing myself. I really wanted to get through the evening without shedding any tears.

When I got to the hallway with the gargoyle at the end, I waited. Remus had said he would meet me. I could have sworn that I saw the statue out of the corner of my eye turn to look at me every time I looked away. I also swore that it was giving me a distinct look of disapproval.

I'd only been waiting for two minutes when the familiar paranoia and anxiety started to kick in. _What if he forgot that he was meeting me? What if he realized that he had better things to do? _I didn't actually believe that Remus would do that, but the thoughts came in before I could reason them away. And of course, perfectly on time, he showed up minutes later.

"I'm sorry, Professor Trelawney held me up. Apparently, Christmas this year will be an inauspicious time for unplanned travels," he winked at me and I laughed, knowing from Ron and Harry and my very own personal experiences just how over the top she was. "You haven't been waiting long, have you?"

"No, only a few minutes," all of a sudden, knowing that with Remus there I couldn't delay it any longer, my nerves came back full force and my stomach resumed its cartwheels. All I really wanted to do was run the other direction with my tail set firmly between my legs.

"It'll be alright," he said, as if reading my mind. I tried to force a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. He turned to the gargoyle and clearly said "Cockroach Clusters". That _would _be Dumbledore's password. I stood there staring at the newly revealed spiral stair. Remus placed his hand gently on my back and gave me a light push forward. When we got on the stairs they began to move upwards like a muggle escalator (or so Hermione's told me) and Remus' hand became more of a support because my legs had turned to jelly. We reached the gleaming oak door and Remus took his hand away and softly tapped the gold knocker against it. It slowly swung open of its own accord.

The objects in Dumbledore's office never ceased to enthral me. Once, years ago, I'd asked him what they were for, and he actually told me what each and every one did. Some were wildly complex and cleverly constructed with magic and other materials, while some of them were simple muggle artefacts he greatly enjoyed looking at. I particularly enjoyed the one he called Newton's Pendulum. It had five metals balls on strings and if you pulled one out the let it hit the other four, the ball on the opposite side would swing out, then back in and the cycle kept going and going. Definitely not useful, but oddly hypnotic to watch. It would appear that over the years he'd managed to collect a great many more. I was momentarily distracted by everything and tried to stop and inspect the new things, but I was guided forwards again.

I moved my gaze to the desk where Dumbledore (whom I'd only just noticed) was writing, seemingly unaware that we'd entered. "Good evening, Albus," Remus greeted.

Dumbledore looked up and smiled, putting down his quill. "Ah, Remus," he returned the greeting, then looked to me as well. "And Ginevra, feel free to take a seat both of you," he motioned to the chairs in front of him. I quickly fell into the offered chair, legs no longer willing to hold me up. They weren't nearly as comfortable as Remus' were.

"So Ginevra," he spoke directly to me now. It randomly popped into my head how strange it sounded when he called me Ginevra, nobody but Remus actually used my full name. "Professor Lupin here owled me this afternoon saying that there was something very important on your mind that he believed I should know about." Good, I always liked when people just cut to the chase. I was a little confused though, I had assumed Remus told him everything I'd told him. His eyes pierced straight into my very soul, or at least it felt like they did. I started to do that fish thing when you open and close your mouth, trying to make some sound come out. I was finding it hard to transfer the words in my mind to my mouth.

I was also finding it hard to resist the temptation to take a look towards Remus' chair, but I couldn't help myself. One glance was all it took. If Remus really wanted me to talk to Dumbledore, I would. He's done so much for me and I really hadn't paid him back in any way. I was absolutely certain that he didn't expect anything in return, but this man had been looking out for my own good since the summer and I didn't doubt his intentions now. A switch in my mind turned on, and things started to slowly slip out of my mouth. I told Dumbledore all about the dreams I'd been having for years, and how they'd started to change over the summer. I told him about Tom's warning and the McLeod family. Then I told him about Harry's dream and the relationship it had between all of mine. There was a long moment of silent thought when I'd finished. I actually felt pretty calm then, I definitely didn't think I was going to cry. Maybe having already told all these things to someone once had made the retelling that much easier.

"I've been expecting this to happen for some time," Dumbledore finally said. It actually took me a few moments to really retain what he was saying, and when I did, I frowned deeply,

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath in and sighed. "After your return from the Chamber in your first year, Harry told me what had happened. When he described to me Tom Riddle's spirit, I knew at once that simply piercing the diary with the Basilisk's fang would not have been enough to eradicate Tom. The diary was not a containment for him, merely a vessel. When Harry destroyed the diary, he had two options: whither and eventually disappear or use either of your body's as a new vessel. Harry having told him of the relationship between him and Voldemort, I figured Tom would have seen you as a more suitable host." my mother would have told me to close my mouth and stop collecting flies had she seen my face. He continued.

"During your second year I kept a closer watch on you, knowing that had he made his presence know, you would have told me, but he didn't. I couldn't be sure if he was gone for good or if he'd been simply staying quiet. I knew that if he were there, he wouldn't do anything rash to call attention to himself once again, especially if I were so near you. I gave you much greater space, but kept an ear out for any sign, any indication that all was not as it seemed. I did indeed have hoped that he had ultimately disappeared that night. Over the years, there had been no indication of his presence, I thought it was safe to start assuming he'd gone. I will be the first to admit that I was wrong."

I could feel Remus' apprehensive gaze, but I didn't look to him. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Dumbledore. "You knew? All this time?"

"I had my theories, but without proof I could never have been one hundred percent certain. Over the years I've tried to―

"_You knew!" _I screeched. Never had I felt such a burning hot fury before. He finally seemed to realize the seriousness of the predicament.

"Yes, Miss Weasley, I knew there was a possibility that he had not been destroyed," he responded sombrely.

I couldn't bear to sit anymore. I jumped to my feet in rage. "All this time you were aware that a piece of the darkest wizard of all time might still be inside me? _You just left me at his mercy_! Do you know the torment he's put me through all these years? I thought they were normal nightmares, but you're telling me that they were actually him inside my head? This whole time? I was only _eleven years old_! Do you know how much my life has been messed up because of what he's done to me?" I was beyond reasoning. I didn't even want him to answer any of my questions, I just wanted him to understand how furious and somehow betrayed I was. But I wasn't done, I had so many upset realizations in my head it was an immense effort to get them out in a way that made sense. "What about Harry? Do you know how many times I've been alone with that boy! What if Tom had been biding his time inside me so that he could manipulate me through my body like he did when I was eleven? You actually took that risk?"

Remus made to stand and comfort me, not that he would have been able to with me in such an apoplectic state, but Dumbledore motioned for him to stay still. "Ginevra, it wasn't―

"No!" I wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say. I'd had enough already. "No." I felt the tears building. I was _not_ going to let him see me cry. I made a split decision to leave before either of them saw me get even more out of control and I followed through. I walked straight to the door, and shoved it open. I tried to slam it shut on my way out, but it was too heavy to make a satisfying noise which just added to my incensed mood. Even before I reached the bottom of the stairs, my cheeks were soaked. Tears fell from my eyes in a constant stream.

Feeling the need to release the painful build up of anger and bitterness, I started furiously marching through the halls, I needed to get out from this stone building and feel the fresh air. I needed to see something living and organic. I wanted to go home.

_All those years I thought I was alone and no one would understand. And he knew, he knew exactly what was going on! All he had to do was ask me, "Hey Ginny, does it feel like you have the leftover spirit of a psychotic sadist living in your head?" He could have made things so much easier for me to go through. He could have helped me deal with it all. All those times I needed someone, he wasn't there! _I quickly found myself thinking in circles. I felt such an honest relief at reaching the doors to the outside but as I pulled the handle and they refused to budge my spirits sank to a new depth. I didn't have my wand to unlock them. All I wanted was the see nature and be reminded of how beautiful the Earth was, instead I could see nothing but gray, stone blocks piled one on top of the other, closing me in. Sobs started bubbling up out of my chest. Completely losing control of myself, I let out a snarl of resentment and threw my fist as hard as I could into the nearest thing: a stone wall.

The pain shattered straight up my arm and into my shoulder. It hurt so horrifyingly bad that all the breath was gone from my body and I sank to the floor in shock. There was no doubt that I'd broken multiple bones in my hand. I could feel that they weren't fitting properly. I leaned against the wall, losing all restraint. I screamed and cried and sobbed and wished for the Burrow. For my family. For my mum and dad. For my past.

Even the portraits in the hall were empty; I was completely alone.

…_So much for not crying._

**TBC**

Author's note: there you go! Chapter nine, all done! Hope you enjoyed it, and don't rage at Dumbledore as bad as Ginny did. Anyways, I would like to thank **TemperedRose **and **joziebug **for their reviews and hopefully more to come! Hope you're all going to have a wonderful weekend, I know I will :) 


	10. Good Night's Sleep

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Ten**

I'd had no way of knowing how much time had passed. For all I knew, it could have been ten minutes or it could have been an hour. I stopped thinking about it. I had no more energy to cry. My eyes were sticky with dryness and they prickled with pain. My throat ached and it felt as if the pressure in my head was pressing hard against my skull. Every heartbeat pulsed with agony. My nose was completely stuffed up, and I couldn't even feel my injured hand. I couldn't move it, though I wasn't particularly enthusiastic when I tried. I had no will to stand. Every time I thought that it might be a good idea, my stomach started churning uncomfortably.

Very suddenly, I felt something around me. It was if I were being watched, although I was sitting with my back to the door and there was no one in sight. None of the paintings' occupants had returned either. "Hello?" I called out, not sure if I wanted there to be an answer.

"_Now Ginny, haven't you learnt your lesson?" _A shock of electricity ran through every inch of me, every hair on my body was standing on ends. I whipped my head from left to right to make absolutely sure there wasn't anyone. "_Haven't I always told you that the people you trust will just end up using and betraying you? You mean nothing to these people, Ginny. But I've got great plans for you, little one." _Tom had never spoken to me while I'd been awake. _Does this mean he's getting stronger?_ I put my head in between my knees to try and block out the sound of his voice. All I really wanted was to be alone in my head.

"_Stop trying to fight me, Ginny. There's no use. You never could and you never will. Were you not listening to what the old man was saying? I am_ _a part of you; I _am _you. I can see that you're upset by this, so let me tell you something: things are changing now, very quickly. Soon _you_'ll be a part of _me, _a part of my true and formidable self. When the three of us meet together as one, the world will tremble. We will become a god!" _I really did not like the sound of that. Becoming a "god" was something I'd never really aspired to be.

"You're out of your mind," I forced through clenched teeth. His laughter filled the corridor, much like it always did in my dreams. My anger began to rise again. For the first time since I could remember, my fear of Tom started to ebb away. Then again, at the moment, I was a bit beyond reasonable. I couldn't see him, but I could feel him listening closely. "Tom," the air around me seemed to shiver, "get the fuck out of my head."

The corridor was empty. I couldn't feel his presence anywhere. It was as if the air in the hall was suddenly let back in. I made a conscious effort to stand, but my legs weren't quite in the mood yet, so I ended up sliding down the wall back into a sitting position, so I crossed them, and cradled my arm pathetically. Merlin, I felt miserable.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard another voice echo down the hall towards me. "There you are!" I turned to see Remus rushing at me from one end of the corridor. "For the love of magic, I've been looking everywhere for you! I had thought you would have gone back to Gryffindor tower, but I met your brother on prefect duty and he said that you hadn't been back..." he trailed off, and knelt beside me. His deep blue eyes were swimming with concern. "Ginevra?" I didn't respond, I had nothing to say. He put his hand on my cheek, it felt deliciously cool against my hot skin. I leaned my head slightly into it. His eyes travelled down my face and into my lap. He sucked in a quick breath, "what did you do to your hand?"

"Punched a wall," I muttered, shamefully. 

"Oh, Ginny," he lightly took hold of the hand in question and examined it. "I don't know if I'm able to fix this, it looks pretty bad. I think you're going to have to go see Madame Pomphrey."

I reached out with my good hand and grabbed his arm. "No, please don't. She'll make me stay the night, and I can't stand sleeping there," I'd had enough bad experiences spending the night there, but then again, how many times do you spend the night in the hospital wing for good things?

Remus neither agreed nor disagreed to my request, but instead offered me his hand. He stood, pulling me to my feet.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I've got you," my legs buckled and I would have fallen straight to the floor had he not caught me. My vision swam dangerously before my eyes, and an all too familiar laugh filled my mind. The last thing I saw was a pair of distressed blue eyes.

...

When I finally did wake up, it took me a long time to realize that I wasn't where I should be and that something was not right at all. Namely, the feeling of my right hand being dismembered from the inside out. A whimper caught in my throat as I looked over and saw Remus pointing his wand at the hand in question, whispering spells under his breath in deep concentration. When I looked down at my hand and saw bones changing position underneath the skin, I felt sick to my stomach and fell back to a decidedly more peaceful state of unconsciousness.

As I came back to, at first I didn't remember much, and thought I was in my four poster bed, but when I stretched my legs out as far as they'd go, they didn't touch the baseboard like they usually did. I sprawled my arms out on either side of my, but neither of them hung off the edge as they would have in my school bed. Then I noticed that my sweater was still on and my hair was still up. I never wore my hair up when I slept because the hair elastic was too uncomfortable. I also had a tendency to overheat in my sleep, which is why I could never wear a sweater. Everything started to flood back. I couldn't help but blush slightly as I surmised that I was in Remus' room. In his _bed._

Finally, I sat up and looked around the room. It was fairly small, with the bed taking up most of the space. The duvet was a midnight blue, and the sheets underneath were a dark brown. While looking at his covers, I found that he'd wrapped my hand in a sort of tensor bandage, having healed it to the best of his abilities. I could never thank him enough, his kindness to me seemed to be never ending.

I slid out from underneath the blankets and got up. I couldn't believe how all those emotions drained my body to exhaustion. I was still feeling weak and lethargic. I took another look around the room, and spotted something I didn't see before. There was a bottle on the bedside table with a note stuck to it. Seeing my name on the note, I grabbed it and the bottle and sat back down on the bed.

_**Ginny,**_

_**I do hope that you're feeling better. If you've woken up before I'm back, then I'd like you to do me a favour: drink this potion, it's for a Dreamless Sleep. I know that your nightmares aren't exactly normal dreams, but I believe this will at least help. Feel free to stay where you are, I know you've had a trying night and I want to make sure you get some sleep. If you'd like, we can talk in the morning, but right now, get some rest. **_

_** Remus.**_

I felt like such a fool for acting the way I did. It was the least rational thing I'd done in a long time, except for once when I accidentally chucked my hairbrush out my window in a fit of rage… my closed window. _He must think I'm completely unstable. _I guess maybe I am a little bit. But it's hard to keep balance when the world around you is nothing but manipulation, lies and withholding of vital information that may or may not have changed the entire face of your miserable, lonely, misunderstood past.

I took a few moments to calm down before I got myself so worked up again and did something even more stupid than breaking my hand. Like breaking my other hand for instance.

Even if he did think I was deranged, I still wanted to thank him and to tell him I was feeling fine enough to head back to my own room and that I wouldn't be any more of a burden, which is all that I was feeling to him lately. But when I opened the door that lead into his office, there room was empty, with only a few candles lit.

Then I was hit with a moment of terrible indecision. Nearly every part of me wanted to hightail it out of there and spend the few remaining hours of the night in my own bed, but I was held in place. It was the coward's way out and also I would hate to imagine unappreciative it would look if he came back and I'd left. Especially after reading the note and potion he'd left for me. In the end it came down to this: had he not asked me as a favour, I would most likely have put my shoes on and snuck back up to my dorm. But who was I ask so much from him and not respond in kind?

I made my way back into his room and sat on the edge of the bed. I took my hair out of the restricting elastic and finally downed the entire bottle. I had only a few moments of thought before its affects took over. First I wondered where in the rule book they covered sleeping in professors' beds, but then as I became more sleepy, my thought turned his bed being nearly five times more comfortable than mine and how unfair it was. I burrowed under the blankets after removing my sweater and rearranging my tank top underneath. I fell asleep, breathing in the subtle smell of him, wondering where he was.

...

I was startled awake by someone in the room. I peaked over and saw the back of Remus looking through his wardrobe for some clothes. He was only wearing a pair of faded black sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. I wasn't used to seeing him without his robes. He picked something out of the wardrobe and then closed it softly. I only had a second to snap my eyes shut when he turned around to look to see if I was still asleep. When I squinted to see if he was still looking, I opened them up again when he was turned around.

Without warning, he pulled his shirt up over his head and threw it on a nearby chair. I'm sure my face must have gone bright red, but I couldn't help myself from staring. At first I was surprised at how toned his back was. With his robes on, he looked deceptively more slender and lean. The second surprise came when I noticed the tracing of scars across his body. Some were nearly a half an inch thick and ran from one shoulder blade to the opposite hip while others were smaller, almost healed into the same colour as his skin. I wanted to cover my mouth in alarm and absolute compassion for the pain he must have been through but I didn't want to move because I didn't want him to know I was awake. He put on a white wife beater and then buttoned a plaid shirt over top. He looked very natural in muggle clothes.

When he went to untie the drawstring on his pants, I squeezed my eyes closed, tight as they would go. I heard him zipping up the fly of a pair of jeans he'd pulled out of his dresser, and then I heard the door open and close. The room was empty once again. My whole body was overheating and it definitely wasn't from the blankets. _Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad and bad._

I opened my eyes once more and looked around. His shirt and pants were still on the chair, but on top of the dresser beside them was another pile of folded clothes. It took me a moment to recognize that they were my school uniform and a whole new change of clothes, underthings and all. I didn't really feel too embarrassed because I knew that he had to have gotten a house-elf to get my things. I smiled to myself at his consideration. Now that it was morning time though, I did feel considerably self conscious about the fact that I'd stayed the night in Remus' room.

I got changed and found on the bedside table that my school bag had also been brought. I shoved my clothes into it. I found out that it was just after five in the morning from a clock on his dresser. I didn't feel that I should be spending any more time in there than necessary, but I waited a couple more minutes before I left, trying to psyche myself up.

I hesitantly opened the door, not sure what I was going to say to him. He would probably have questions to ask about my reaction to Dumbledore, but I didn't think I'd ever be able to reasonably put it into words how badly I'd been hurt by his revelation no matter how much he deserved a decent explanation. But when I fully opened it to reveal his office, no one was there. My mind and body relaxed.

I thought about staying and waiting for Remus to return, but then I threw the idea out. If I didn't have anything to say to him, what would I accomplish by staying? As I reached the door to leave, I stopped myself and turned back to his desk. I'd at least leave him a note explaining where I'd gone and tell him thanks. I felt that I owed him much more than a note, but I wasn't going to stay; I had to leave.

I walked quite quickly away from his office, hoping desperately that I wouldn't run into him. I'd be especially awkward if he caught me trying to run away, but for once I was lucky, and didn't bump into him. Seeing as how I had two hours until most of the school woke for breakfast, I decided that I might as well take a luxuriously bath in the prefect's bathroom. I had yet to use it, and felt that this was a spectacular time to try it out.

An hour and a bathtub full of bubbles and perfumes later, I made it back to the Gryffindor common room. I climbed through the portrait hole and tried to quietly make it up the stairs, but a voice behind me scared me half to death.

"Where have you been?" I whipped around and saw someone I really hadn't been expecting: Hermione. I at least thought it would be my brother or Harry.

"I got up early and had a bath in the prefects washroom, what are you doing up so early?" I tried to act completely innocent, although I really wasn't sure why I felt so guilty. I mean, it's not like I'd done anything wrong. I think.

"Ginny, I know you didn't come back last night," she was completely pissed off. _Well that's rich, how many times have I seen her and those two climb under that cloak and disappear off into the night? Did I ever say anything? No. It was none of my business. _I wanted to snap at her and tell her how unfair she was being, but I saw the concern behind her anger. I realized that she'd just been worried about where I'd been.

I sighed in frustration, I didn't know what to tell her. I settled on the truth, "I went to go talk with Dumbledore last night."

"What for?" Her expression had completely changed, now she was undeniably curious.

"Well, after Harry told me about, well, what he'd dreamt, I felt that I needed to talk to someone," this was true.

"So why weren't you back last night?" She demanded, but then her gaze dropped and caught sight of my bandage. _Oh, hell. _"Ginny, what happened to your arm?"

I gave a big tired sigh for effect and then recited a reasonable story that I'd just made up on the spot, quite proudly I must admit. "Well by the time we'd finished talking it was so late, and I was exhausted and distracted that I took the wrong path back to the common room. So pretty much instead of going left up some stairs, I went right down some stairs, literally. Landed on my wrist and it was obviously a serious injury so I had to see Madame Pomfrey who as you can imagine wouldn't let me leave until the sun just began coming up. So after that I decided to try out the prefect baths and relax from my awful evening." Okay, so it wasn't the truth, but it was an improvement if Hermione believes it. For an awful moment she still looked doubtful, but I was pretty sure she'd let it drop.

"Can I ask you another question?" Oh Merlin, what else did she want to know? "Would you come to Hogsmede with me this weekend so you can help me pick out a costume?"

"Oh! Um, alright," I replied, taken off guard.

"Great!" She beamed and then headed back up to her dorm room in a completely different mood. I stood on the stairs mildly flabbergast, but shook my head in amusement as I headed into my own room.

**TBC**

Author's note: Here's another one! Hope you enjoyed it. So I've noticed other author's respond to questions in review by just replying at the end of each chapter, now I've never done this, but I feel like it's a good idea. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you'll leave a review!

**TemperedRose: **I actually don't think I'm going to be using Rowling's horcrux idea, I'm sort of disregarding the last books entirely so that I have free reign to do whatever I want ! :) And Dumbledore only had suspicions. Ginny showed no signs of being possessed or anything and she hadn't told him about her nightmares, so he started to think that Tom hadn't used her as a host. Hope that clears it up!


	11. Halloween

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Eleven**

Somehow, without even noticing, a whole month had flashed by. October had not been particularly notable. Remus had tried to explain to me that Dumbledore would like to talk to me again, but since I still couldn't bring myself to explain why I couldn't bear to face _him_ again, Remus didn't really understand the full scope of it all. He didn't understand why I refused to concede.

Ever since my second year he clearly hadn't had anything to say to me when I needed it. So now because _Harry _has a dream he decides that this is a good enough time to open up to me? So now he can show me that he feels bad for potentially being the second most deceiving man of my entire life? No thanks. Too late. The past can't be undone and it can't be buried. I would know.

Things got a little harder between Remus and I, seeing as how we really didn't seem to want to talk about the same things. I hadn't really gone out of my way to see him lately, and I'll be the first to admit that his absence in my day was immensely noticeable. I hadn't really realized how different my year had become having someone to talk to compared to my previous years. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew I was just being stubborn, but I knew that eventually he would manage to get me to agree to see Dumbledore, and that was exactly what I didn't want to happen. I didn't owe the old man anything, as far as I saw it. I was still bitter. But I missed Remus. He was the only person I really could trust and I was pushing him farther and farther away from me.

I did fortunately have other things to occupy my thinking time. Those last few weeks, Hermione was an absolute mess. Ron, the observant boy that he is, found out that Hermione was going to the stupid dance with someone else (_big surprise, Ron_). So instead of talking to her like a reasonable man― which I am fully aware that my brother is not―he decided to react in the most counterproductive way he could manage and ignored her.

Not only this, but my idiot brother thought that he should pay her back by taking Arlene, the Ravenclaw prefect as his date. Whenever Hermione tried to come by and talk to Harry or him, he would go out of his way to loudly talk about just how amazing this girl was and to add insult to injury; he even once said that he'd never met such a smart girl before. I couldn't believe how insensitive he was being, even for my brother, so I smacked him upside the head and had to run after Hermione when she left through the portrait hole in tears. Things hadn't improved much since then. As much as I hated this obscene teenage drama, it occupied my head, leaving no room for the other things that hurt me and I hated.

On the night of, Hermione and I spent nearly two hours getting ready together. She'd picked Rapunzel, whom I'd never heard of until she showed me a book of muggle fairy tales. To complete the look, we searched for hours to find the perfect hair growth charm that would last only a few hours. I grew hers nearly down to the floor, and then spent a great deal of time braiding it. It took me ages to convince her to dye it the appropriate golden-blond, but in the end I won out, especially since it was only for the evening. She wore a gorgeous pink medieval dress and a tinted pink train that came out from underneath a golden tiara. I went very soft on her makeup to keep it fresh and innocent, as Rapunzel should be.

We'd found her dress weeks ago on our trip to Hogsmede. During this time, I'd accidentally let slip to Hermione what I really wanted to be for Halloween, and she completely jumped on the idea, refusing to let it drop. I've got to give her due credit, because that day she managed to find the singular most perfect dress hidden under heaps of clothes at the back. Even when I said I couldn't afford it, she refused to listen. She got her hands on all my spending money, and before I could appropriately protest, she bought both our dresses even though I hadn't enough for mine.

I kept trying to tell her that she hadn't needed to buy it for me and that I could go as something else and that I would pay her back as soon as possible, but after a week or two, she just told me to shut up and take the damn dress. Fair enough, I guess.

At the end of the two hours, we were ready to go meet our dates. Yes, indeed I'd gotten myself a date. It only happened a week before when I'd been sitting in the common room studying for one subject or another when a conversation near me attracted my attention.

"Um, Parvati, could I speak to you for a moment?"

"Neville, if you're thinking of asking her to go with you, don't be ridiculous. She's obviously got someone else to go with."

"Lavender―

"What, Pav?" Merlin, she drove me mental.

"Shut up for a moment," I was mentally cheering Parvati on, although she may call Lavender her best-friend, she certainly had no problem telling her off when she was being a bit of an idiot. "I'm really sorry, Neville. It's just that I promised Seamus I'd go with him last week," she did generally feel sorry, the sincerity in her voice was impossible to feign. I did feel very bad though because I'd known how much nerve Neville had put into working up the courage to ask her. He turned around very forlorn because he'd had a large crush on her for the past year.

"Hey, Nev?" he looked around, startled as if he hadn't known anyone else was around. I turned my attention away from the giggling Lavender, and focused my attention entirely on him.

"Oh, hi, Ginny." He was fully distraught and my heart completely went out to him.

"I was just wondering, you see, 'cause I've got no one to take me on Halloween, but I was hoping that maybe you wouldn't mind going with me?" I know it seemed like I was just asking him because I felt bad, but I really honestly wanted him to say yes. We went to the Yule Ball a couple years ago, and despite a few sore toes here and there, I had a great time.

He seemed to contemplate it for a moment and I actually began to think he'd say no. "Yeah, okay." He smiled at me and I beamed back.

"So, do you know what you're going as?" I'd been generally curious, hopefully our costumes would sort of go together.

His face fell and he sort of grimaced. "I've actually no idea, have you any?" my grin turned mischievous.

"Oh, I've just the thing! You're coming to Hogsmede with me this weekend," he seemed a tad suspicious, but went along anyways.

When I met Neville in front of the Great Hall, my face couldn't contain my smile. He was dressed head to toe in gleaming armour, with a long sword belted at his side. On the front of his chest plate a crimson dragon was painted and a bronze crown lay on top of his head. For someone so unsure of himself, I must say, he looked the part.

Hermione and I separated as she went to find her own knight in shining armour, Sir Stephen.

"Ginny! You look absolutely perfect!" Even though we were just going as friends, Neville made sure to treat me as a proper date. I actually felt on top of the world. We decided to start by getting drinks because it would be way crowded later. We actually spent a while socializing with the other houses and checking out everyone's costumes, but once we found we'd drank as much as we could, we headed out for the main floor.

We danced through the first few quick songs and I could tell he was having a good time. In fact, I was having a good time too, a great one actually. For some reason, everything seemed a whole lot less serious and dismal. We laughed a lot, and didn't care if we danced like idiots when songs we knew came on. It was a lot of fun to be there as friends and I absolutely refused to let him sit down and wishfully stare at Seamus and Parvati during the slower ones. I was impressed at how much he'd improved on the dance floor.

After nearly an hour of non-stop dance, we finally agreed to have a breather. I was feeling a bit lightheaded and weirdly giddy. Neville headed off to get more drinks and told me to find a table and rest my feet. Lucky for me, I spotted Hermione standing by herself off to the side.

"There you are!" she exclaimed merrily as I approached. I hadn't seen her that happy in quite a while.

"How's everything going?" I asked quietly as possible, thought I may have failed because I was having too much fun to whisper. I gave a quick scan around to find her date. I knew she'd been terribly nervous about the whole thing for the past few weeks, almost to the point of saying she wasn't going to go.

"Absolutely fantastic! That boy sure can dance. He's just gone to get drinks and told me to find us a table," she explained, winking slightly, very much out of character. Much more open about having a good time. Even in the dark it was easy to see just how flushed she was. She was practically glowing with excitement.

"Yeah? That's where Neville went as well." I looked around the hall, wondering if I should chance it, "You haven't seen Ron, have you?"

"Oh no, he's off somewhere with what's-her-face," then she waved me off. I could tell she was on a complete high by her unusual lack of reaction. I took that as a very good sign. "Oh, here he comes!" at first I thought she meant Ron, but I could tell by her smile it must have been Stephen. I turned around and sure enough, he was carrying two drinks, beaming, even when he saw me with his date, he was still lit up like a light bulb. He made it to the table and sat down in the chair right on her other side.

"Hey, Ginny!" he greeted with one hundred percent geniality. He slid her drink over to Hermione and started up a conversation about the decorations. He was very good at maintaining equal conversation, always including me. I gave him some major brownie points as Hermione had had enough of over-possessive boys; I should know.

They finished their drinks and just as they were leaving one of Stephen's friends who looked like an Egyptian pharaoh came up to the table with a drink of his own. He gave Stephen a light punch to the shoulder and laughed. "Hey, guess what I just heard!"

"What?" judging by how excited his friend was, we were _all_ quite interested to hear.

"The Slytherin's spiked the punch! Right at the start too, so everyone's been drinking it! Fantastic." he didn't even wait for a response as he wandered off into another crowed of people laughing. Clearly, he'd had more than enough. _That explains the light headedness… and giddiness. _

"_What!_" we both turned to see an appalled Hermione. "I'm Head Girl! I'm going to be in so much trouble for letting this happen! What are they going to think of me? _I'm going to kill them! _They'll probably―"

"Hermione, how many have you had?" I cut in, holding up her empty glass in front of her face, too amused for my own good.

"Too many!" was her only reply as she groaned and hid her face in her hands.

"Oh come one, no harm no foul!" Stephen tried to add in diplomatically, but failed entirely at keeping a straight face.

"No harm?" Hermione burst out, "what about the first years?" Fair point. But before Stephen or I had a chance to input anything else, the girl completely flipped out. It started as a tiny titter, but before either of us knew what was happening she was snorting with laughter. "Oh Merlin, there's going to be drunken first years! All running about," she could barely breathe. After a few longer moments, she wiped the tears from her eyes and Stephen asked her if she'd like to dance.

After they left, I could still see Hermione giggling as she got onto the dance floor, and Stephen holding on to her quite tightly, just barely suppressing his own hysteric. After a few moments of trying to assess my own level of intoxication, I realized that, having never been drunk before, I had no idea. But deciding that since my smile was so big thinking about it, I probably didn't need the drink Neville was fetching. Realizing then that Neville had been taking quite longer than necessary, I decided to go in search of him. I figured that he might have lost tract of me.

As I made for the drink table where I knew he'd been heading, I began to notice more people looking a little off balanced, and others far more merry than they ordinarily would be and all I could do was laugh. For once in my life, I had to hand it to the Slytherins.

Sure enough, I spotted Neville at the table, our drinks in his hand. I almost called out to him, but I stopped myself when I saw that he was speaking with someone else. It wasn't difficult to see that he was immersed in a conversation with Parvati (okay, it could have been Padma too, but I really doubted it). She was dressed in these immense blue pants and very, very small top looking exactly like a princess in this bizarre picture movie I'd seen in muggle studies that had to do with a desert and a magical lamp and some big blue man who lived inside it and granted wishes. She did look gorgeous though, and was clearly just as into the conversation as Neville was. Neville, one of the shyest boys I know, looked entirely at ease talking to the apparent girl of his dreams (while she was wearing such a revealing outfit as well!). _Thank you, Slytherins, that punch done did my boy some good! _I had to stop and laugh at myself for a moment, taking immense pleasure in imagining myself speaking like that in real life. I couldn't even do it. I figured it would be handy to look around everywhere for Seamus, but curiously enough, he was nowhere to be seen. The song ended and another one started to play. I didn't need to hear what they were saying to know that Parvati had asked him to dance.

I nearly burst at the seams with happiness for him, but absolutely could not believe my eyes when he shook his head in a 'no'. She looked nearly as surprised as I felt. He drew her attention to both glasses and I swear I saw him speak my name. She nodded in sad understanding, then walked away clearly disappointed. _Oh, no you don't, Neville! _I knocked a couple people over (myself nearly included) as I full out ran over to him. He turned just in time to see me skid to a halt. His eyes were wide with surprise.

"Oh hey, I got the―

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, gimme those!" I jerked both drinks out of his hands; he clearly didn't know what was going on. "Okay, good. Now go catch up to her!" He was still trying to process the situation and he was taking much too long.

"Wha―

"Go!" I gave him a little shove, spilling some punch onto the floor and essentially down the front of my dress. Oh well. His eyes widened even more as he finally caught on to what I meant. He opened his mouth to thank me I'm sure, but I pointed my arm in the direction that she'd gone, "Now!" He grinned and turned quickly, jogging in the same direction.

I smiled wistfully, feeling quite good about myself. I really hoped they'd work out. I looked down at the two cups in my hands, "What am I going to do with myself now?" I asked to nobody and was quite alarmed when somebody answered from behind me.

"That was a very considerate thing you just did," I turned very slowly, unsure if I really wanted it to be who I thought it was. Especially when I started to think I shouldn't be trusting my ability to form intelligent sentences.

"Well," I began, "he really was only with me because she'd said yes to someone else first. It's only fair," and despite the mask covering both his eyes and hair, I knew him well enough. Of course looking into his eyes made up my mind: I had really wanted it to be him.

His mask was some sort of black material that wound around his head, tying at the back. His whole outfit was also black, including the cape. At his hip, he had some sort of epée belted.

"Very nice, Ginevra. Or would you prefer the Madame Le Fay?" I felt an overwhelming surge of pleasure as he'd been the first person to properly identify me without my having to tell them. I personally thought it was quite obvious. The dress Hermione has forced upon me was a dark, earthy green with a square cut neckline and a plunging back. The bottom portion of the sleeves hung down nearly to my knees. The dress was embroidered delicately with golds and bronzes, while I wore nothing on my feet. I'd decided to wear them bare, but Hermione was so enthusiastic about my costume that she'd managed to transfigure some material into artificial vines that ran up my ankles and all through my flaming red hair, which had been left loose and curled. I managed to buy a simple bronze circlet in a used jewellery shop when I went out to help Neville with his costume, to finish the look. Hermione wanted my costume to be entirely perfect, so she managed to help me find an empty sword sheath, alluding to the myth of Arthur and the theft of Excalibur's sheath by his half-sister. I had it slung over my back, out of my way for the night. Of course, Neville had been King Arthur and I was his pagan sister.

"Finally, someone knows something about mythology! What about you, who are you supposed to be?"

"Well, I am quite clearly a famous muggle hero! But you wouldn't know him," he smiled cheekily.

"Try me." I could see his eyes sparkling under the mask.

"I am Zorro!" and then he did a funny little swish behind him with his cape. He sounded so excited that I nearly choked on the sip I'd only just taken. _Oops, I forgot I'm not supposed to drink anymore._

"You're right, I've never heard of him."

"Laugh all you like, Miss Weasley, but I'm quite a ferocious duellist," he replied, feigning hurt.

"Having fun chaperoning a school full of hormonal teenagers?" I asked, still laughing. _Even worse, __**drunk**__ hormonal teenagers._

"Oh, absolutely. Most of them don't even notice I'm a staff member until I'm telling them to separate," he waited for me to stop laughing, "Actually, I think I'd rather them see me coming from a mile away, some of the things these kids get up to..." he shuddered in mock horror. How I missed talking to this man.

The song ended again, and then there was a long pause before the next song started up. I almost started to say something, then I stopped when I heard a very familiar rhythm. My jaw dropped. "You. Have. Got. To. Be. KIDDING!" Remus sort of shook his head, not entirely sure what he was supposed to be kidding about. "This is my all time favourite song that I've ever had in the whole wide world... **ever**! How do I not have a date to dance with right now?" Apparently he didn't seem to know either and nodded sympathetically in a 'that's very sad' type way.

I stared him down. He stared right back. I stared even harder, and something clicked in his comprehension of the situation. "Oooooh no!" he put his hands up, waving them about to accentuate his point, backing up ever so slowly.

"Oooooh yes! If I don't have a partner to dance with, I'm just going to have to force the nearest victim!" I downed my punch and the rest of Neville's, then threw the empty cups into the garbage and slowly advanced upon him, as if stalking my prey.

"Ginevra! I can't dance with you, I'm your teacher!" he tried to explain.

"No, you're Mr. Zorro tonight!" I'd had enough talking, and clearly enough to drink, so I latched onto his arm and dragged him to the dance floor. For someone who'd tried to protest so hard, he really didn't put up much of a fight. At first he wasn't very responsive, but I grabbed his hand and moved it as an extension of my own body, screaming along to the lyrics like almost every other girl in the school. I guess my absolute mania and laughter and new found alcoholic inspired courage spilled over to him as he started to laugh too, twirling me by our linked hands.

After the first song, he made as if to walk away, but I pulled him back, and he stayed without prompting. We danced for nearly three songs, until the last slow song of the night came on. I didn't have any expectations, and stood waiting for him to say that was enough, but when he didn't move, even after the new song started, I wrapped my arms around him, and grinned into his chest. When I felt him pull me closer so he could put his arms around me, I sighed a blissful breath of deep contentment. He rested his chin on top of my head, and I shut my eyes, praying the song would never end, praying I could stay in that moment of bliss forever. I'd never felt so close to another human being and I'd certainly never felt emotions like this. Sure I'd had a many number of crushes on various boys, but this was different. I felt a longing deep inside me, a longing I didn't think could ever be filled by anyone except him. I felt a stab of regret in my heart as I knew it could never be, but that didn't change anything.

We held each other a few beats after the song had ended, and then slowly released. I forced a perfectly normal smile even though my insides were churning. Even in the dark I could tell his wasn't entirely true either. He walked me to the doors of the Great Hall, then kissed my hand goodnight. I sadly watched his form retreat down the familiar path to his office, wishing my insides didn't feel so hollow.

I walked back to Gryffindor Tower, only half listening to Hermione recount all the events of her night. I was more than a little suspicious that she's gone back for more because she wasn't on cloud nine… more like twenty. "And what about you Ginny? Don't think that I didn't see you dancing with that tall, dark stranger that definitely wasn't Neville! Is something happening between the two of you?" I wished so badly that I could tell her, but I didn't know how she'd ever understand. I mean, I barely did.

**TBC**

Author's note: There you are folks, the dance is finally over with! I do hope you liked it, I'm trying my very best to get some more Ginny/Remus action going on because that's what we're all here for, am I right? Anyways, thanks again for the reviews, they make all this writing worth doing! Keep it up guys, you all keep me going! :)


	12. Bad Night's Sleep

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Twelve**

I had a whole lot of trouble getting to sleep that night and for the first time it wasn't because of bad dreams. My mind was sloshing around inside my skull. I couldn't think of anything but Remus, the feelings of his arms around me, of his warm, solid chest... it was enough to drive anyone mad. Thoughts and images of him ran laps through my head on a never ending track. I should never have been so forward and no matter what how much I wanted to believe I wasn't in control, I knew full well it was my own fault. _What am I going to do? How am I going to see him every day and pretend that everything's normal? How am I going to be with him knowing that I can never _be with him_? What am I going to do? _A repeat of unanswerable questions flowed one after another. Finally, near four in the morning, I managed to think myself into complete exhaustion. I feel into a fitful sleep.

_"Well, Rodolphus, I'm waiting." There was a danger in that voice, a sort of poison._

_ "M-my Lord, we've reached a b-bit of a hitch in the plan," Rodolphus, I assume, replied. From such a low vantage point, I could see his whole body quivering in fear under his heavy, black, Death Eater robes. I stared unblinking with an unexplainable loathing. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how pathetic he was._

_ "Indeed." I could sense the danger growing. I tensed with excited anticipation._

_ "Y-yes, my L-Lord. It would s-seem that the family will n-not be returning to their home for the h-holidays as we'd originally been led to believe. The g-girl will either be at H-Hogwarts under D-D-Dumbledore's protection or hidden in an Order safe house." The air seemed to crackled with rage. I was almost giddy with expectation. _

_ "I don't _ever _want to hear that name again, is this understood, Rodolphus?"_

_ "Yes, m-my master! Please, f-f-forgive me!" _

_ "_Crucio!" _The sound of screams filled me with delight; I could hardly contain myself. The curse was removed, and the pathetic man lay curled on the floor, gasping for breath. "You do not ask me for forgiveness." I could sense a shift of attention from the chair above me. "Wormtail!"_

_ An even more despicable rat of a man scuttled into the room, appearing from the darkness. He bowed as low as his stub legs would permit, then bowed a little further. "My Dark Lord."_

_ "Do you know what it is that I want, Wormtail?" There was a hint that the wrong answer could prove deadly. _

"_Yes, master." He seemed to sense the threat as well._

"_Tell me, my cowardly servant, what is it?"_

"_You want the girl, my Lord...?" He ended in a question, horrified that he would be punished. I could only hope. _

"_Yes, I want the girl," his tone chilled, I couldn't wait for what I knew would come next. "How then Rodolphus, do you suppose I will acquire what it is that I want, if you are incapable of following my orders?" Rodolphus twitched uselessly on the ground._

"_Wormtail, it would seem that I've a proper assignment for our informant inside of Hogwarts. Contact him, now." His tone suggested retribution if his will was not done. I watched him retreat unharmed; what a disappointment. _

"_You see, Rodolphus, your folly hasn't cost us too much." I could taste the fear in the air, "but you have let me down before and you may find that your folly is going to cost _you_ much," I uncurled myself from the base of my master's chair, barely containing my ecstasy._

"_Nagini, I think you'll find that my servant here is no longer in need of his hand," _At last! _I launched myself forwards without restraint at the shrieking form in front of me, ripping through flesh when my fangs connected. I gorged on blood and meat. That poisonous laugh filled the room, once more. _

_I was violently ripped out of my body and I screamed in agony, feeling hot pain fill my being. when I wrenched open my eyes, four alarmed pairs stared back. _

"Ginny, are you alright?" Valerie Cobb, the girl whose bed lay beside mine, asked, clearly shaken. I didn't even try to answer because I felt so nauseous. I couldn't stop imagining that I had the taste of blood in my mouth.

"She looks like she's going to be sick," noted Bonnie Maye, the girl on my other side.

"Do you want us to go get someone?" One of the other girls asked, I couldn't tell which. At first I thought about how much I really, really didn't want either of them to get anyone, in fact, I didn't even want this to leave the dormitory. It was a real sign of my recent mental development when my very second thought was that I needed to let someone appropriate know what I'd just learnt.

I nodded my head vigorously and for some reason, they each nodded back, not quite sure what else to do. I summoned up all my energy and managed to give them a little help, "Please, would you get McGonagall?"

Val grabbed Bonnie, and the two of them headed downstairs. Sara and Kaliesha sat awkwardly on the end of my bed, almost falling back asleep. I heard a commotion downstairs coming from the common room. I wasn't entirely curious when I heard McGonagall's voice floating up the stairs, but when I heard my brother's voice and Neville's, I couldn't stop myself from going to look into it. The two girls half heartedly tried to tell me that I should stay in bed, but they felt much more inclined to follow my idea by going back to bed.

I hobbled down the staircase, feeling entirely too disoriented from the pain in my head to walk straight. I entered the common room, not expecting it to be fully lit and filled with a bunch of people (I mean, it _was _5 in the morning, most people _should _have been passed out from all the festivities). McGonagall was standing in the center of the room, facing a shirtless Ron and decidedly scrumpled Neville who were supporting a terribly shaky, slightly green looking Harry. Dean and Seamus stood behind, looking rather pale and equally dishevelled. Everyone had an undeniable look of concern on their faces.

I spotted Bonnie and Val standing slightly off to the side, seemingly undecided on whether they should make their presence known or not. They clearly wanted to see what was going on as well. I headed in their direction, unnoticed by the bulk of the group. I waited with them, nodding my head in greeting. I did feel entirely less ignorant about the situation and felt pretty sure that I'd managed to extrapolate what had happened. I supported myself with the back of the couch and listened.

"He sort of stopped screaming and went into a fit or something," Seamus explained. "I mean, we've all seen Harry have nightmares before, but this seemed much worse than usual." Dean and Neville nodded in firm agreement. McGonagall and Ron shared a meaningful glance that only I understood.

"Alright, Mister Weasley, why don't you take Mister Potter to the hospital wing for the night, he's not looking too well." Ron took full support of Harry from Neville and manoeuvred him out of the portrait hall with some difficulty. "The rest of you, head back to your dorms." She quickly turned and made to follow, but Neville's voice stopped her.

"Professor? When we woke Harry, he sort of mentioned something..." There was a significant pause while McGonagall turned to look at him, we all did. "He mentioned something about You Know Who contacting someone at Hogwarts... Could this be true? We all know about Harry's connection with him, so could this mean that he actually has a contact in the school?" Everyone looked terrified at the idea. Dean and Seamus stared McGonagall down, clearly wanting to know the answer to Neville's question as well. This confirmed my assumptions about the situation. Harry and I had had the same dream. All eyes turned to her.

"Longbottom, it's hard to know for sure right now. We're heading into dark times and it seems the most appropriate measure is hope for the best, but prepare for the worst." Everyone seemed to fall into a deep contemplation of this. "Now back to bed, all of you," she finished, changing her tone and attitude so suddenly it startled the group of us. I started to feel a lightness in my head, as if I'd sat up way too quickly. McGonagall was almost out of the portrait hole when a cry from Val brought her back.

"Professor! Ginny's just fainted!" _Oh, great._

**TBC**

Author's note: I know, I know, it's super short and I'm sorry, but I wanted to get this out before I crack down on all my culminating projects for school. Plus, that's a good enough spot to end it, right? Anyways, I'm feeling wildly celebratory because I just got my acceptance into University which is such a relief! I'd also just like to thank **Snaluck, pbk **and **TemperedRose **for your wonderful reviews :) You guys keep me going!

**TemperedRose: **Oh, you'll see how those two play out, I have all my plans for the pair of them ;) 


	13. Answers

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world (much to my dismay), hence writing on a fanfiction site.

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Enervate!" Consciousness flooded back through my whole body. My eyes opened upon reflex and then I blinked back my surprise at finding Professor McGonagall and Neville standing over me. It took my some time to remember why I was in the common room and how I managed to find myself lying on one of the sofas, but it all rushed back. I made to sit up but McGonagall gently put her hand on my shoulder and pushed me back. I was glad she did because all the blood rushed to my head and I felt the effects of a severe depletion in energy, dehydration and general emotional and physical drainage. _Can I have no moment's peace?_

"Now girls," she said, turning to my roommates whom I'd just noticed again for the first time, "what were you all doing out of bed?" Neville grasped my hand, and under normal circumstances I would have protested, but I didn't have the will.

Bonnie and Val looked to each other, trying to decide without words who should speak. In the end, I suppose Bonnie won out because Val started to explain. "Well, Professor, I woke up to go to the bathroom and when I got back into the dorm, Ginny was sort of mumbling to herself in her sleep. It didn't really bother me so I just went back to my bed, but she, well..." She looked over at me, slightly nervous. McGonagall's face couldn't have been more impatient though, so she quickly continued. "She started to laugh, really loudly. It was kind of disturbing because it wasn't a funny sort of laugh... it was actually quite scary," _Well that's new. _

Unfortunately, I knew exactly why I'd been laughing in my sleep. It was because I'd been about to eat a man's hand. I shuddered at the recent memory; Val continued. "Anyways, when I tried to wake her up she started screaming like I've never heard before and the rest of the girls woke and then finally Ginny came to and asked us to find you..." She trailed off anticlimactically, "and that's about it."

The significance of what she'd said wasn't missed by McGonagall. She gave me a deeply appraising look and I felt a little awkward under her gaze. "Well, Miss Weasley, you're looking rather pale, almost green, would you like me to escort you to the hospital wing for the night as well?" I knew she was asking for their benefit and not mine. So I answered accordingly by making myself look weak and ill as possible (which was really quite easy at that moment) and nodded to her. If I thought she'd actually meant to send me to the hospital wing for the night, I would have erupted in protest.

"But what about Harry's dream? It almost sounds as if there's a connection between the two, right?" Seamus asked, looking over to Dean for support. Dean remained a little less convinced. Everyone one in seemed to consider this. As it was five in the morning and most everyone had accidentally consumed alcohol at the dance, I forgave them for being so daft as not to suspect it. Then again, I suppose I had a little more insider information.

McGonagall looked over at him sharply, then smiled. "Surely not, boys. Ginevra's dream seems to be brought on by her being ill. Or maybe the punch hasn't been sitting well with her," everyone shifted from one foot to another awkwardly, trying to avoid her piercing gaze as they caught on to her meaning.

Neville helped me up to my feet, but I still wasn't entirely steady. "Professor McGonagall, would you like me to walk with you and help Ginny?" We both turned to look at him. I couldn't help but think how sweet a boy he was. Randomly I started imagining how much I wanted Parvati to see him like I did and not her pigheaded friend, Lavender. I need sleep.

I was brought back into the present with McGonagall's reply. "Thank you Mister Longbottom, but I believe Miss Weasley's looking quite fit to walk by herself, I believe we'll manage. Now, all of you head back to your dorms and return to your beds. If I come back and you're all still up, I will be forced to take points from each of you." I didn't quite agree with the fit to walk by myself part, but I said nothing. She pursed her lips in seriousness and no one believed this to be an idle threat. Everyone groaned in annoyance and headed off to their respective staircases. Neville stayed a moment and I mustered up a reassuring smile to let him now I really was alright. I very much hoped this was true. At last, he followed Dean and Seamus back to bed.

Seeing as how I'd put slippers on my feet when I'd come down the first time, and I had absolutely no motivation to go back up that flight of stairs, I decided that they would have to do. McGonagall led the way out and I followed close behind while she made her way through the school, trying my very best to keep up with her brisk pace. I think she must have heard my panting and breathlessness because she slowed down considerably, but we didn't share any words. I think she was too deep in thought. I didn't mind though, I had nothing to say really.

It didn't take long for me to recognize the path she was taking; we we're going to Dumbledore's office. I wasn't surprised; I should have assumed it actually. Although my recent feelings towards him remained unchanged, I did feel as if he should be made aware of this new development: I was having the same dreams of Voldemort that Harry had.

We made it to the gargoyle in record time. She said "Butterbeer" to it as a greeting, and I could only assume that this was the password as he leapt aside and let us in. I muttered something about Butterbeer not being a candy, and I swore I saw her lips twitch in a smile.

We entered the office and stood slightly off to the side because I saw that Harry and Ron were already sitting and Harry was telling Dumbledore what he'd seen in his dream. Not that I had really needed it, but it was a final reassurance that we had actually had the same one.

Harry finished, and as Dumbledore did not seem to respond immediately, McGonagall cleared her throat to draw attention to our arrival.

He looked over, unsurprised. "Ah, Minerva. I was wondering when you'd..." His lack of surprise did not extend to me. Although he recovered quickly, I didn't miss the look of unease that flickered over his face. "And Miss Weasley, come take a seat." He gave McGonagall a look I couldn't quite interpret but conjured up two extra chairs. I took the one farthest away from my brother who, along with Harry, was looking at me with unrestrained confusion. I pretended not to notice as they'd find out soon enough. McGonagall remained standing. Not wanting to focus my attention on Dumbledore either (you must understand, I was still feeling bitter and betrayed), I looked around for my favourite phoenix, Fawkes. He was looking quite grey and unhealthy so I knew he must be nearing a burning day. I smiled sympathetically and he returned it with a sad little croak. _You'll be young and beautiful in no time, darling. _How I wished I could spontaneously combust and be reborn. I figured Tom, the parasite in my head, wouldn't fare too well. _I need sleep so badly, I'm not making sense to myself anymore._

"Albus, there seems to be a new development..." I turned back my attention to them because it was me they were talking about.

"Is that so?" His tone suggested no more than a moderate curiosity, but I could read the deep disquiet in his sparkling blue eyes. For some reason this incensed me beyond belief.

"Miss Weasley appears to be―

"I had the same dream as Harry. I saw and heard everything that he did: Rodolphus, Wormtail, Voldemort... I saw it all through Nagini, that snake of his, too," McGonagall neither looked surprised or taken aback by my interruption and I was very thankful she understood because I definitely held her opinions in high esteem. Also, she always seemed to believe in me, what with making me prefect and supporting my choice to become an Auror. But my directness was all because I wanted everything out in the open so that I could get the answers I was looking for. Unfortunately it wasn't Dumbledore who had anything to say.

"What! Ginny, you can't possibly have had the same dream as Harry! His dreams, well... they're not―

Dumbledore held his hand up to silence my brother and I was actually quite glad that it did the trick as in my current mental state would have flipped out on his. Instead of addressing me as I thought he rightly should though, he turned the McGonagall. "Minerva, after hearing this account, I must talk to Severus immediately. Could you please bring him to my office? Perhaps if it is not too much to ask, would you also be able to wake Remus? I'd like to see him as well." _You and me both._

"Certainly," she replied without question. She left with a snap of her night gown.

"Now..." he started to say, but had no chance to finish when Harry spoke up.

"Sir?" Harry asked from the other side of Ron. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows inquisitively. "You're going to get Snape? But what if he's―

"As always, it's _Professor_ Snape, Harry. I can already see that you're wondering if he could possibly be the contact Voldemort― Mister Weasley, how do you believe we will be able to defeat him if we are too afraid to even speak his name?― is sending the message to. In all honesty, I can only pray that this is the case and we'll be so lucky." Dumbledore was starting to sound as old as he looked.

"Lucky?"

"Indeed, Harry. If Severus is receiving intimate plans from the Dark Lord, then he'll be able to relay them to me and we'll have a greater chance at interfering with them. I now fear that other allies of his have entered the walls of our school."

"Sir?" I knew he wasn't going to drop it, and I wanted to hit myself in the face with the palm of my hand.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Professor Snape―

"Is probably the man I trust most with my life. I know you don't know my reasons, but Harry, they're not for you to know. You are biased against him," Harry opened his mouth to argue, but he continued on louder, "just as he is biased against you because of your father. You do not understand the sacrifices this man has made for myself and even you." Of course, Harry opened his mouth once again, but Dumbledore stopped him. "I'm afraid I haven't much else to say on the topic."

For years I've had to listen to Ron and especially Harry's adamant convictions of Snape's evilness and strong support for _You Know Who_, but they've really never had a shred of proof other than the fact that he's so horrible to them (which he really is). I just can't take it because they blatantly refuse to accept all the signs that prove their point otherwise. I'm not going to lie and act all high and mighty because I think the man's a complete git to a large population of people, but he's never really gone out of his way to make _my _life any more difficult (this used to drive Fred and George _mental_. We'd try and figure it out together, but could never come up with any answers). I had it in me to give him the respect he deserved. I know for a fact that no other Order member would be able to make the sacrifices and risk their lives so certainly to spy for our side. Not only that, but to be such an exceptional Occumen so that you actual would be a_ successful_ spy was beyond unbelievable especially when you consider the strength of Voldemort's Legilimency.

Harry apparently had nothing more to say for once and Ron couldn't find anything better to do than stare holes into the side of my head. Somehow I believed he was trying to figure out what was going on inside it, but unfortunately for him, he had never learnt Legilimency. I gazed at Dumbledore, entirely interested in what he thought of the situation, apparently it wasn't much. His entire concentration was focused on the dirt underneath his fingernails. I tried not to, but I couldn't help my face shaping into a frown much like my brother's. _How could he be so laid-back?_

His attention seemed to return and my face reconfigured itself in expectation. I thought he might be inclined to tell us a little more, but once again, I was sadly disappointed. Seems to be a recurring theme to our recent interactions. "Tea, anyone?" He asked pleasantly, despite the sombre situation. All of us looked at him, moderately alarmed. Ron was the first to recover and accept the offer (so typical) then Harry and I followed suit for lack of anything better to do. Three floating cups and saucers appeared in front of each of us and I could hear Ron attempting to slurp his back with fervour as per usual, but it was even too hot for his ambitious mouth.

Mum always made us tea when we were upset or sick so I started feeling homesick when I took a taste. It was just how I liked it, though scalding-liquid-fire-hot. _Not._ I'm not sure how Ron managed to take even the tiniest sips. The only sounds in the room were the our breaths to cool the tea down, a slurp here and there and every now and then some movement from Fawkes's corner (and the whistling, whooshing and tinkling of his many bizarre trinkets, but they were so common place in his office that they just fell to background noise).

The wee hours of the morning along with the warmth and familiarity of a cup of tea started to do their work on me and I nearly dozed off when a knock from the office door woke me back up. I was thoroughly disoriented because for a peaceful moment I'd imagined that I was back in the Burrow.

McGonagall walked in with Snape in toe and then a jolt of electricity shot from my chest to all my extremities because behind Snape was an exhaustedly handsome Remus. Unlike the other two, he wasn't dressed in sleepwear but instead in a familiar pair of jeans and an old faded and worn sweater. From the looks of this and the red in his eyes and semi dark circles under them, he hadn't slept all night. I could hardly even believe that I'd only seen him hours ago. The last time I'd been near him felt unplaceable, as if it only happened in a dream. It actually felt more like a dream than anything. I felt a responsibility for his sleepless night though and hoped dearly that it actually wasn't because of me. _I know I lost sleep over last night and those few dances, but what could it mean if he did too? _I just hoped he was alright.

He scanned the room, and for a moment I wondered what he was looking for. So, naturally I felt a rush of heat to my face when he locked eyes with me and made straight for my chair, which he firmly placed himself behind. I looked up at him and tried to ask my questions of concern with only my eyes, and somehow he managed to communicate back that we'd talk after. That was fine with me. Right now he was more concerned about what had happened. The other new arrivals situated themselves behind the chairs as well, neither taking a seat in the empty one beside me. _Oh, I see how it is,_ I joked snootily in my head, and honestly had to roll my eyes at myself for being even more of a knob than usual.

"Severus, we've got some new information." I turned to look at him and couldn't believe how straight he managed to keep his face, not even a muscle twitched. "There's been another vision from Harry of Voldemort, so now we have a better idea of what he's planning." My jaw dropped a little. _Oh, so I guess we'll all just pretend that little Ginny hasn't had any part of this as well, will we? _I seethed, maybe a little egotistically, but Harry and I had had the exact _same _dream. We should get the _exact_ same recognition. (Okay, even to me this sounds a little ridiculous, but in all fairness, I definitely was not in my right mind that morning.)

"Even more strange is that Miss Weasley's seen the exact same scene in her own dreams." I was absolutely amazed at how exasperated McGonagall sounded. For a second I thought she'd maybe read my mind and thought I was being absolutely ridiculous as well, but I knew that couldn't be the case (_could it?_) and that she was directing her tone to Dumbledore.

Even though Snape was a master at hiding emotion, I managed to catch the tiniest widening of his eyes. What McGonagall had said must have immeasurably surprised him. For some reason I took that as a bad sign. _Man who can keep a poker face while lying to deadliest wizard on the planet visibly surprised by this bit of information pertaining to me?_ _Not good._ He turned to scrutinize me and I did my best to hold his gaze. The darkness of his eyes strongly disconcerted me, he could hide anything within them. If the eyes were windows into the soul, his had heavy, black curtains. Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, choosing not to add anything further. _But why not? _I couldn't help but wonder.

"Is this so? Dumbledore, but you told me at the beginning of term―

"We've other things to think about right now, Severus." He gave Snape an unmissed look of warning. Now I was certain that there _was _something being kept from me. "It seems that your friend Rodolphus has lost your master's good graces." Snape look decidedly interested. I had a funny feeling that 'friend' was a very loose term. "He was able to obtain certain facts in relation to a new plan of his master. It would appear that he's found some new interest in another person that is not Harry." _Also known as Ginny, folks, but will accept 'Not Harry' for the time being. _I could feel everyone's eyes flicker unintentionally towards me. _Well so what, I could have told you everything he just said. _I started to get annoyed all over again until I felt a supportive hand on my shoulder. My whole body relaxed under his touch. "But this is for another time, we've other concerns at the moment." Every single face in the room looked confused (well Snape looked as confused as Snape can look, anyways). What else was there to talk about?

"Albus, you're not going to let it go? Especially not in light of recent events? She should surely know!" McGonagall sounded absolutely unsettled. I felt another flood of affection wash over me for her, knowing that she wanted me to know whatever it was that he was keeping from me. _Still, it might save us all this unpleasant trouble if you just told me, McGonagall. Hint, hint._

"Minerva, as I have told Severus, we will talk of this later." He'd lost that carefree tone he'd been using all night.

"What use is it if you, Severus and I talk later, when there are people that should know now?" None of us had ever heard her use such a tone with Dumbledore before, so the intensity of the moment definitely seemed to be increasing with every moment.

"Minerva―

A loud shattering filled the room. I accidentally clenched my teacup between both hands and it shattered from the pressure of my rage, spilling tea all over my hands and lap, burning my skin. I could already see my hands turning red. I didn't notice though, words were coming out of my mouth in an angry rhythm. "What does Professor McGonagall believe I should know?" The silence was thick and uncomfortable. I tried to catch her eye, but she seemed unwilling to return my gaze. "Well there's no point pretending that I don't know I'm the individual in question. I've probably known for longer than most of you seeing as how I've the guy in my head." I ended mockingly flippant, tapping the side of my head for good measure because I was simply too incensed to be polite.

"Ginny," Ron laughed nervously, "what are you talking about?" He was the last person I wanted to hear from at that moment.

I tried to sit forward, but Remus gripped my shoulder tighter and held me from standing. "Not the time, Ronald," I gave him such a Molly look that he blanched completely.

"Ginevra, speaking between the two of us now would be inappropriate as there's―

"I must say I disagree. I personally believe that telling Miss Weasley now would be for the best. She's obviously capable of handling more than you've given her credit for." Harry, Ron and most likely me were going to need someone to swat flies away from our mouths they were hanging open so drastically. To our knowledge, Snape had never, ever gone out of his way to help or offer compliment to someone. Especially a Gryffindor... especially a _Weasley!_ That sinking feeling that had been growing in my stomach reached a pinnacle. If even Severus Snape believed Dumbledore was making a wrong decision on my behalf, then something extremely significant was being hidden from me. Dumbledore's displeasure was clear.

"Severus, that is enough." He replied coldly, with an absolute finality. Even though I was furious with him, I wasn't brave enough to reopen the topic again. My whole person seemed to deflate. This was not an opportune for me to be having these conversations with such depth when I could barely keep my own internal dialogue in check. The pain in my hand seemed to finally register with my head, and having so many emotions bottled inside, the pain made my eyes tear up and a couple big ones fell out and onto my lap which was in much the same position, I'd only been wearing a pair of boxer shorts so my thighs were scorching red as well. I furiously wiped away the tears, but they kept coming.

I was lucky that everyone was waiting for Dumbledore and Severus to finish their staring contest. I didn't even feel Remus' hand leave my shoulder, but he'd manoeuvred himself around the side of my chair and held both my hands in one of his. He murmured a quiet spell and the pain trickled away. He gently released them so that he could do the same thing on my legs. Big droplets kept pooling out of my eyes down my cheeks. As Dumbledore had begun to talk again, Remus took the opportunity to hand me a handkerchief to wipe a few of them off my cheeks. He returned to the back of my chair after giving one of my freshly healed hands a reassuring squeeze and I quickly glanced at Snape because Dumbledore was addressing him. I nearly jumped when I caught him looking back. His expression was impossible to read. _How long has he been watching? _I tried to make myself believe that it didn't mean anything if he did, but for some reason my heart was beating full force, full of adrenalin. He looked away, revealing nothing of his thoughts, and we both turned our concentration back to Dumbledore.

"I need you to tell me in the next few days whether Voldemort makes contact with you because if not, I fear we've a spy in our school." All those who weren't Harry or I took a moment to let the impact of this sink in. Snape nodded his head in acquiescence. "Now, there are only a few hours before you must all be up for class, so I think it's time for everyone to head back to their beds." Never was there a more obvious dismissal.

Snape didn't look back as he glided out of the office ahead of us all. McGonagall rounded up Harry and Ron and shushed them when they both tried to ask her a thousand questions at once. I stood still, staring at Dumbledore and all he did was stare back. Remus, not entirely sure what was going on decided to help me up and usher me out of the office as well. I left feeling no more knowledgeable than when I arrived. Now all I knew was that there was much I didn't know.

McGonagall walked ahead with Harry and Ron talking animatedly in front of her. They clearly had much to discuss. I walked silently behind with Remus until a light bulb of understanding exploded in my mind. I had to stop walking to fully comprehend what was going through my head.

"Ginevra? Are you alright?" I felt as if every time I had a moment with Remus, he was asking me this question.

I put my hand on his arm and smiled. I think it must have been a little too big because he looked completely unreassured. "I'm going for a walk."

"It's six in the morning." He was clearly suspicious.

"I can't go to sleep now. You, on the other hand, have not slept all night and I can tell so don't even bother giving me that look. Go to sleep or I'll put a sleeping draft in your pumpkin juice." I think he believed me which was very good because I wasn't joking. "I'm not going back to common room whatever you say, so you might as well save yourself some time." He actually laughed.

"If I don't see you at breakfast, I'm coming to find you." He turned away and walked towards his office. I looked back down the hall but the other three were out of my sight. For once I was glad to be forgotten about. My fake smile slipped off my face and was replaced with a determined glower. I headed off towards the Astronomy tower.

_I'm going to get my answers. And you're going to give them to me, Tom._

**TBC**

Author's note: Yes, yes, yes it's been TOO LONG! I'm sorry :( To make it up to you all though, I made sure this chapter was longer than my others and it actually is my longest! Hope you enjoyed it, I definitely won't be so long in writing my next one. For some reason writing the Dumbledore's office scene was so difficult. Thank you so much for the reviews **Moony's Black, msquared **and **TemperedRose. **You guys are the reason I write! Keep it up, and hopefully you'll have something more to read before the weekend!

P.s. Ginny has not had a real goodnight's sleep in months, she hadn't been eating well and she may have been a tad hungover as she'd never drank before, so I definitely wanted her to seem a little loopy in her thought process. Hopefully that came across and she didn't just seem spacey. :)


	14. Tom

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something better than writing for a fanfiction website ;)

**Chapter Fourteen**

I pushed open the door to the tower and immediately I was filled with a rush of old memories. I hadn't been up there alone in nearly five years. The Astronomy tower had been my only refuge in my first year; I spent all the free time I could in there. It was where the most dangerous wizard of all time became my very first friend.

Faint rays of sunlight lit the whole tower. It was too early for the sun to hold any warmth so there was a sharp chill in the air. I could faintly see my breath. I felt a little guilty for misleading Remus, but I was feeling a bit at odds with him. He'd been the only one who didn't speak up against Dumbledore's decision regarding me. In fact, he hadn't spoken at all. _Does that mean he agrees with Dumbledore? Does he really not have the same confidence in me that Snape and McGonagall do?_ I tried to push the negative thoughts aside, maybe he hadn't known what they were talking about. I hoped so because I hated to admit it, but I did feel hurt.

I felt a shiver that had nothing to do with temperature run up the length of my body, giving me goose bumps. This was the place where Tom took over my body and told me what he was going to do. He told me he was going to bring me into the Chamber where he could lure Harry into his trap. He told me I was going to have to die. It seemed fitting that this was the place I was going to make him talk.

I closed the door behind me and crossed the room to the balcony. I stared out over the school grounds, seeing the distant mountains and the Forbidden forest reflected in the glassy lake. I took a few deep breaths of the cool, refreshing air. I needed to psyche myself up for what I was planning to do. I really didn't want to it, so many things could potentially go wrong, but I needed to. Lucky for me, I wasn't exactly in my right mind this morning, and my sense of mortality didn't seem as fragile today. I closed my eyes to block out the beautiful scenery; I needed to be focused.

"I know you can hear me, Tom. I know you're there, listening to what I hear, seeing what I see." I didn't exactly feel his presence like I did when he spoke to me after my previous meeting with Dumbledore, but there was a very distinct amusement in the back of my mind that was not my own. I knew flat out asking wouldn't be enough, I had to bait him to come out. I had to step it up.

"Get out of here you selfish prick! I need you to talk to me." I could feel his anger building; it was working, but not quick enough. He still wasn't going to answer me. I would have actually been shocked if that was all it took. I wasn't done with him yet.

"Five years trying to get you to shut the hell up, and _now _you decide to be silent? You're so goddamn typical, Tom." He was started to get seriously irritated. There'd been so few cases of me actually talking out to him that he had no immunity to my insults. "You want to know what I think, _Riddle_? I think you're pathetic. What was your big master plan again, all those years ago? Oh yeah, manipulate an _eleven year old girl through a diary! _As if that wasn't an easy feat. Anyone could bend the will of a naive child. Oh, but it gets better, doesn't it? I mean, for years and years after you've been returning to this girl's dreams and tormenting her while she's asleep and defenceless. Grow the fuck up, Tom. You're nothing but a vindictive little _boy_!" That really got to him. I was surprised at how good it made me feel though. For once in my life, I felt like I had the upper hand. For once in my life, I was releasing my pent up hatred and anger. I was practically glowing with satisfaction when I felt rage flare through my mind.

If he still wasn't responding, there was only one more thing to do. If talk wasn't going to get him out, I'd force him. "A long time ago you used me. You took control of my body and made me do horrible things. Tom Riddle, I'm here to tell you that I'm in control now." I didn't even wait for him to register what I was saying. I took another deep breath, and without waiting for my nerve to fail me, I hoisted myself up onto the divider between the inside of the tower and the open air. I've always had amazing balance, but being nearly 200 feet above a decidedly hard looking ground wearing nothing but a flimsy pair of slippers did cause my knees to wobble dangerously. My breath hitched as I stared out at the sky before me, seeing only it. I used my steel determination to still my legs. For a moment I tried to remember why I hadn't thought it was a good idea to change into more secure shoes before we'd left the common room..

"You tried to kill me once when I was just a little girl. Although I'm not being nearly as self-serving as you, I do believe this is payback." Every nerve in my body pulsated with his panic. I looked down, swallowing the lump in my throat that formed when I saw just how far a drop it would be. "You know, if I hit that ground down there, Tom, I'm going to splatter." I moved my eyes back up and into the sky, looking down made me dizzy. "Normally I don't think you'd be too bothered by what happens to little ol' me― you sure didn't four years ago―but your spirit isn't locked in a little book anymore, is it?" Furious anxiety seeped through my whole body. "When Harry pierced the diary, you only survived by directly passing into me, didn't you? But there's no one down there for you to pass into. No one weak enough to let you hide away in their bodies for years like I did. You'll be pancaked upon impact, just like me." His wordless response encouraged me. I slowly nudged my feet forward, letting all my toes hang over nothingness.

I'm not going to pretend that I had absolute confidence at this point. I was completely aware of the massive risk I was taking and the lunacy involved in taking it. I wasn't deluded enough to think that there wasn't a possibility that this could go wrong. I fully knew that I actually _could be_ a splattered pile of mush down there in a couple minutes. I also knew though, that he knew all of this too and he wouldn't allow me to destroy what he worked so hard to keep (namely his "life"). Tom was powerful enough to take over my body and control my actions, if he really needed to fight for his survival, he would be able to. This didn't stop him from being anxious. Hell, I was. His lack of reaction though made me think that he didn't really believe I would do it and I had had _enough _of people not believe in me lately. _Fuck it._

I stuck my foot out over the edge and let go of my body. There was an awful moment where I hung weightless in mid air, in that little second where gravity hadn't quite got the message yet. My stomach lurched up into my throat as I went down, but before I could even make sense of the situation, I felt a large surge of magic around me and I knew it wasn't me who summoned it. Feeling as if a rope were tied around my midriff, I was jerked violently back over the railing and onto the floor of the tower. Before I even had a chance to refill my lungs, hands were around my neck. That's what it felt like, although I could see no one. I don't know if you've ever tried to fight off no one, but it's terribly difficult. I clenched at my throat, though there was nothing to grab. The pressure tightened and I could only manage a few choking gasps. I writhed on the floor, legs kicking, but nothing happened. I was terrified, but my thoughts started to become sluggish and I grew weaker and weaker. Until finally I was barely moving; stars flashed before my eyes. I actually thought I was going to lose consciousness and potentially my life, but miraculously the pressure released and I sucked in painful lungs of air.

"_Don't test me, Ginevra!" _he hissed. I flipped over onto my side and spent the next few minutes in a shaky recovery. My head was spinning from lack of oxygen and an overflow of his furious emotions. Even though it was me who viciously antagonized him into talking, his voice inspired a deep rooted fear to pass through my body. I had put much thought into everything leading up until this moment, but I could never predict what would happen if I got here. I didn't even know if I'd still be alive at this point! I managed to limply crawl over to a wall and lean against it. Now that I had his full attention, I had to be in fit form to talk. This meant, at the very least, being able to sit upright.

"I know you pay attention to everything that goes on in my life. You haven't really got much else to do in my head though, do you? I especially know that if it involved Dumbledore and your currently living self, you'd be paying extra special attention." He sure was. I felt a great suspense. Was I finally going to learn what everyone was so reluctant to tell me? "What do they all know that I don't?" Much to my disappointment, but not my surprise, there was no reply. It was obvious that this wasn't because of ignorance on his part though. _Great, even the evil guy in my head knows what's going on and won't tell me._ "Whatever. I'm going to come back to this, so don't think I won't." I felt the familiar laughter bubbling up. It wasn't exactly cruel, just rudely amused. I was much too fed up to be denied again, so I started on a different question with much higher hopes.

"Why did I have that dream of Voldemort? I've never had a direct connection to him like Harry, so it doesn't make any sense." His laughter continued and I felt my face flush with exasperation. _He's not going to tell me anything. _It was quite a surprise for me then when his voice started up again.

"_I was searching him out while you slept. I'm getting impatient and I want to know what he's up to. You just accidentally came along." _Now that he seemed to regain power over the situation, he thought it was all terribly funny. What a bastard.

"What are you getting impatient about?"

"_Oh, Gin Gin," _I wish he had his own body just so I could punch him in his condescending face, _"as much as I deeply enjoy living the life of a teenage girl, I can think of about an infinite number of things I would much rather be doing. Namely one in particular, though. Can you guess which?"_

"You want to rejoin with him, am I right?"

"_Not just me, Ginny Bean, but you as well!" _He sounded as gleeful as a greedy young child, Christmas morning. 

"Oh yes, how could I forget? You two will finally get to be together like two peas in a pod once he kills me," I replied caustically.

"_You don't understand, do you?" _Why couldn't_ I_ strangle him? He was being completely patronizing and loving every minute of it. _"Lord Voldemort needs you just as much as he needs me, Ginevra. I've told you before: with you, we'll be whole." _All my biting replies got stuck in my throat. What does somebody say to that?

"_Do you know which shape is the most geometrically stable, Ginny dear?" _My face contorted into a scowl. _What the hell does that have to do with anything? _My lack of reply did nothing to dissuade him. _"The answer is a triangle. It has three sides, three components." _His enjoyment in my confusion was so infuriating. _"Do you know what else has three pieces to make a whole?" _The pompous git was talking to me like I was five. I still had no idea where he was going with his stupid triangle thing, I was fed up with waiting.

"Get on with it, Tom!" I growled.

"_Where are your manners, darling? Didn't Molly teach you anything?" _I seethed at his mention of my mother. It was a subtle reminder of how much of my personal life he knew. "_Now, the answer to the question is life. Life has three distinct sides: life, death and the magic that fills up the space in between. Life comes from the essence of woman, there's no doubt of this. Woman brings all life into the world through her own body: blood of her blood, flesh of her flesh. So as it is in opposite, man is the essence of death. All destruction and blind rage comes from him; that's how it's spilled out into the world. But between them both, magic flows endlessly in a loop of never ending power. Individuals like us witches and wizards are capable of channelling this magic through themselves. So although muggles and squibs for some reason seem unable to connect to the magic that flows through them, they're still able to produce offspring with magical ability." _I was a bit surprised at the indifference in which he talked about muggles and their magical offspring. Voldemort did not even consider these individuals worth living, let alone mentioning. I stopped my mind from getting too off track because he started up again.

"_Long ago after I murdered my father and uncle," _I shuddered at the ease in which he said those words, _"I made it my new quest to achieve absolute power like my great ancestor Salazar did. I decided to tear myself away from everything that he wasn't, namely what I considered my muggle born, weak self. With this gone, I assumed I would be a solid force of magical power, more like a magical creature then a human. It didn't turn out as planned," _It was strange hearing him talk about himself. I don't think I'd ever actually done that before. Even when I was writing to him in that diary he always turned it so I would be telling him about me. All his anger and mania faded away and he started to sound like a normal teenager. I think there was a certain calming effect for him to be talking. But I didn't let my guard down. _"The only good my separation really did was allow me to take full power over what I now considered to be a pureblood self. Without my human half, I really believed that all that remained was my mother's magic, her bloodline, her inheritance. This is why I didn't die when my curse rebounded off of little Harry James Potter. I wasn't really alive when it struck me."_

As interesting as his little history lesson was (okay, I actually was very interested) I wanted him to get to the point. "Where do I come in?" He almost seemed shocked that I interrupted.

"_Ah, this is where things get a little more interesting. After many years as a weak, bodiless spirit skulking around the Albanian woods, he must have come to a marvellous rediscovery. Strength wouldn't come to him by breaking himself apart, it would come from being complete. I don't just mean becoming who he was before we parted ways because even then he was still missing something. You can't be a triangle with only two sides, Ginny. __**That **__is where you come in. Once our spirit has bound to yours_―

"If he has to bind to me, actually become one with my "spirit", how's he going to do it if I won't let him bind to me? I would give up my life to stop him, Tom. It would be impossible to get me to open to him..." a sick, awful, disgusting realization dawned on me.

I could feel his grin. _"Well done, Ginevra. You've figured it out."_

"I already have bonded. I let him in when I was eleven years old. If you go, I go." I whispered weakly to myself. My eyes prickled with tears. I was never going to escape that innocent child's mistake. I felt a strange emotion tickle my mind. At first I couldn't identify it, then I realized it wasn't my own.

"_You're going to be part of something great, Ginevra Weasley." _He really believed this. He really, truly believed it. There was no laughter or mock in his comment. The only other emotion I knew that I could possibly compare to the one I was feeling from him was deference.

"When's it going to happen, Tom?" I asked with a detached sort of acceptance.

"_I only know as much as you do. My mind is not linked with his, it hasn't been for nearly twenty five years. Last night has shown me that I cannot search him out without your accompaniment. I can't risk trying again. You may see a part of his plan and relay it to Dumbledore who has said that he'll do anything to stop what's coming. I have enough sense to believe that he very well could succeed." _There really wasn't anything else for me to say.

"What does he know, Tom? What is Dumbledore keeping from me?"

_"I don't know." _My whole mind filled with his dishonesty. I sighed when I felt him slip away into a closed corner of my consciousness. I knew we were done talking, no matter how hard I'd try to push him.

I didn't exactly know how to feel at that moment. There weren't really too many emotions in my head. I felt pretty numb. I stood up and leaned over the balcony again. I watched the Giant Squid make ripples along the surface of the lake. The sun had risen considerably and it warmed my face. I stayed still, looking out at the scenic view for a long period of time, not thinking about anything. I stood there for much longer than I could have imagined, because when I was brought back into the present by a flock of birds flying close, I looked at my watch and saw that breakfast had nearly finished. I really didn't feel in any sort of mood to eat so I lethargically pulled myself away from the railing and headed down the tower to go to the Gryffindor one and get my things for class. I briefly wondered how upset Remus was going to be with me.

**TBC**

Author's note: Okay, here's another one for you folks! I know not much has happened in the past two chapters, but I needed to get the talking/information stuff out of the way. Hope you found it interesting though! Thanks to all my reviewers, you guys are such lovely people haha. Keep 'em coming! And I'm sorry to have to say, but my next chapter might not be out for like a week or something. It's exams next week and I have to work my butt off to keep up my marks because I'm such a dedicated student. LOL jk, I'm really not. I just want to not fail :)

**TemperedRose: **Of course Ginny can't run away! How would she be able to get closer to everyone's favourite Professor? ;) And yeah, definitely, I'm an immense Snape fan too, I'm trying to pull him into it a bit more. He's probably my favourite character in the books.

**LoveIsEverything: **Oh noez you don't! I'm updating! I'm updating! See! :)


	15. Defence

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something other than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Fifteen**

My mind was all over the place that morning; I couldn't even remember what my schedule was supposed. I got five points taken away from Professor Vector for showing up to Arithmancy ten minutes late having mistakenly gone to Transfiguration first. McGonagall has actually had to tell me where I was supposed to be for the rest of the day. Everyone in my house was annoyed with me for the rest of the morning too because I lost them points. I didn't notice or care, I really didn't feel too much of anything.

Professor Vector handed me a note from Remus asking me to see him in his office at lunch. I knew he wouldn't take my absence at breakfast lightly. He'd probably been serious about coming to look for me too and he definitely didn't find me. _Oops._

I finished copying the note down about the Greek sage named Pythagoras. One main idea in Arithmancy is that a person's name contains important clues to their character and destiny. Each letter in your name corresponds to a number from 1 to 9. When you assign each letter a number, it allows you to figure out your _Character Number_, _Heart Number_, _and Social Number_. The _Character Number _refers to your general personality type. The _Heart Number _corresponds to each individual's inner life and is said to indicate desires and fears hidden from others while the _Social Number _refers to the outer personality, the face an individual shows to the outside world. Fortunately for me though, I didn't have to pay attention in class to understand the concept because I'd already read ahead in my textbook (that's the plus side to not having a social life).

I put my head down on my desk and closed my eyes just to rest them. I really needed a goodnight's sleep _without _a certain Dark Lord, young or old, interrupting it. I fell asleep against all my good intentions not to and was poked awake at the end of class by Calum, my most loathed housemate. He wasn't going to leave it alone and spent the whole walk to Potions reminding me of that _and _being late this morning. _Fantastic. _

I wanted to sit as far away from him as possible, so I quickly spotted Luna and sat with her. "Alright, quiet down so we can begin," Snape said as always, never necessary though. The only thing ever making noise in that class was the soft simmering of cauldrons. He glared indifferently around at us not showing any recognition of the conversation that had taken place earlier this morning (as I pretty much predicted), perhaps willing us to be quieter by holding our breaths. Finally he began. "Today you'll all be attempting to make an elixir to induce euphoria. I won't write out the procedure on the board as I assume that in an O.W.L. level course you're all fully capable to open a textbook. Read through it and begin when ready." The room filled with the sound of bags opening and pages turning. I didn't actually need to open my text though because I'd brewed enough of these in my spare time last year to help me deal with the plethora of things that were going wrong in my life. One time I added too many Alihotsy leaves and I had to go to see Madam Pomfrey because I couldn't stop hopping. _Never again... _

I stared at the appropriate page and pretended to read. I didn't like being the first one to get up. I didn't like drawing too much attention to myself, so I usually waited until two people got up to get their ingredients before I did. Since I had a couple minutes to spare, I let my mind wander. _What in the name of Merlin could Dumbledore be keeping from me? Why is he so determined to make sure everyone else does too? And Tom... why is Tom following along? It much be terribly important or it obviously wouldn't be such a big deal... but if it's so important and clearly involving me, why would he think I didn't have the right to know? Maybe he already knows that I'm already bound to a part of Voldemort and he doesn't want me to know... but that doesn't_―

My thoughts were interrupted by Luna, who pushed out her stool and got up to get her ingredients. I saw that a few others were already lighting their burners so I sighed inwardly and got everything that I needed. In my opinion, the potion was fairly straightforward as far as most potions go. There was a long list of ingredients but barely any specific stirring or timing. It was also a very quick elixir to brew; it took less than an hour to complete so it wouldn't take up multiple classes like some of the other ones they focus on in the advanced class. The class fell into a routine trance while everyone sunk into their own potion making worlds. Occasionally the silence was softly broken by someone cutting up their valerian roots or a puff of smoke being emitted by adding powdered snake fang or a sizzle when the potion was nearing completion and the two inches of a unicorn hair was added. That was where I was in the process but judging from the lack of sizzling around me, no one else was. At last I added the leaf of peppermint to counterbalance the side effect of excess singing and nose tweaking. I bent over my book and pretended to review everything I'd done to make sure I didn't miss anything, but the sunshine-yellow colour of the potion told me clearly that I'd successfully finished.

I still had a half hour left of class and I stood idle for a minute before looking back down at my text. "Why do you keep doing that?"I was startled when Luna whispered over to me. I glanced over, but she wasn't looking at me, but stirring her potion leisurely.

"Doing what?" I asked, unable to think of what she was referring to.

"Looking at your textbook," she replied simply, still not looking over.

"Well that's where the instructions are, Luna..." I answered, obviously.

"Well you've already had the potion memorized, and you've obviously brewed it perfectly so is it that you just don't want others to see how good you are at this?" she asked, unabashedly. Sometimes her intuition legitimately frightened me.

It took me a long moment to think of a response. "Uh, well I―

"Five points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw." _Oh, crap. _Snape had stopped in front of our table without us noticing. "Miss Weasley, just because you seem to have no qualms with irresponsibly rushing through your brewing time, does not mean you are giving free reign to disrupt the whole class with your ceaseless chatter. I'll see you tonight for detention to make up for your wasted time." My jaw dropped with the unfairness of my punishment. _I didn't even want to talk to anyone! She was the one asking me stupid questions!_ Luna finally looked up as if she just realized she was in class. She mouthed a very sincere apology so I guess I forgave her, but I glared daggers into Snape's back as he walked back to the front of the room. I couldn't believe it! He'd never given me a detention before and I don't think he'd even given Harry or Ron one for so little as whispering in class. I thought that he'd at least go a little easier on me after last night's meeting, but maybe he really was just an evil git like Ron was always telling me.

Class finally ended and I stormed out of the room before most people even got off their stools. I was really coming close to the limit of rage I could carry: Dumbledore's secrets, Tom's arrogance, Voldemort's agenda, Snape's power-trip... _toooo much. _I really wanted someone to say the wrong thing to me so I could just vent my rage. _Maybe Malfoy's around... he's always good to hex._ Unfortunately (though probably for the best) no one spoke to me the whole way to the Great Hall soI decided to vent in other ways by consuming copious amounts of potato salad. Sometimes I wonder how I don't weight five hundred pounds.

Ron, Harry and Hermione sat down a couple seats away from me, and they were clearly discussing something that had to do with the end of the world. _I guess they filled Hermione in, not too surprising._ They didn't even try to pretend and notice anyone else at the table though, and that always bothered me (especially since I could see Neville trying to say hi. I suddenly grew too fed up to finish my fifth helping of potato goodness. _I mean, it's not like _someone _was at that meeting either. It's not like _someone _knows anything about all of this! It's not like _**someone's **_soul is in danger of being consumed! _Okay, they didn't know about that, well they sort of did, but still, point made.

Suddenly I felt very aware of how much I wanted to talk my feelings out with someone. I didn't care if they had anything worthwhile to say to me, but just someone who would care to listen would make all the difference. I couldn't help but look to the staff table to see if Remus was there. My mood deflated when I saw that his seat was empty and then my heart stopped. _Shitshitshitshitshit! _I jumped out of my seat, slung my bag over my shoulder and left. I did crack a smile when Neville and Pavarti waved goodbye to me, but it fell away when I thought about just how annoyed Remus would be with me for forgetting to show up _twice. _I walked against the flow of people coming into the Great Hall for some lunch, but soon I didn't see anyone. I tried to pick up my pace but my less-than-long legs couldn't move any faster without breaking into a run. _Alright, maybe I should cut back on the potato salad._ I turned round the last corner before his office and** SMACK**.

I ran right into a first year and he hit the floor hard (not surprising as he didn't even come up to my shoulders). I kindly stopped to help him up off the floor, along with all his scattered things. No matter what I said, he would not stop apologizing so I finally just walked away, not having enough patience. My day was getting better and better by the minute. _Not. _I finally managed to get to his office, completely dishevelled and out of breath, but when I knocked on the door, there was no answer. I waited for some time before knocking again loudly. Nothing.

I went ahead and opened the door to see if maybe he'd fallen asleep again, but when I looked in his office, it wasn't lit and he wasn't there. I sighed frustratedly at how anticlimactic my lunch was turning out to be. I went inside and scribbled down a little note telling him I'd just missed him and then I left it on his desk. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to go back to the Great Hall because I _definitely _wasn't hungry anymore, and I didn't want to stay and wait for him to come back. I started to wander aimlessly through the halls. I passed the library, but I had no reason to go in there since I'd already done all my homework. Finally I ended up outside the Fat Lady's portrait and having nothing better to do, I said the password and went into the empty common room. I found my most favourite chair and curled up on it, falling asleep before I could even tell myself not to.

I was startled awake by a loud chattering group leaving through the portrait hole. It was nearly time for class to start but I couldn't will myself off my chair. I was simply too tired and too fed up dealing with banality of going to class as if everything wasn't falling spectacularly to shit. I heard the portrait open once more and so I used every ounce of my strength to relocate myself up to my dorm. I didn't want to be woken by anyone else... especially not anyone who would tell me off for missing class (namely Hermione or worse, Ron). I fell asleep through both Charms and History of magic and would have most likely fallen asleep through dinner as well if a heavily persistent owl didn't peck the hell out of my window. I could barely get up to open it though, fatigue acted as weights piled on every limb of my body. The large and familiar school owl gave me a quick nip of impatience once I untied the small roll of parchment then it flew back out to the nearly dark night._ What's its problem? I'm the one who got woken up._

_**Miss Weasley,**_

_**You will serve your detention at seven o'clock in my office. Do not show up late.**_

_**Professor S. Snape**_

I was too worn out to control my anger and so without thought I crumpled the note into a ball in my fist and threw it on the floor. It really didn't make me feel any better, so I got up and kicked it under my bed for extra measure. I decided to take a shower to try and wake myself up a little and maybe get myself feeling a little refreshed, because the nap certainly didn't help anything. I actually think it made me more tired. Don't you hate when that happens?

While I waited for the water to warm, I spent some quality time with my reflection. I had stripped down to nothing but my under things and I could barely even recognize myself. First of all, I had a set of purple, green and yellow, hand shaped bruises on either sides of my neck. I hadn't had a chance to look over myself since my encounter with Tom, but apparently his invisible touch left a clearly visible mark. I pressed down lightly on one side and winced at how sore it was.

Next I looked to my overall appearance. I've never really had the ability to keep a tan because of my fair skin, but even in light of my normal paleness, I looked unhealthily white. The freckles on my face, chest and arms practically jumped off my skin in contrast. I was nearly translucent. The next disturbing things I noticed were my ribs... I noticed them because I could actually _see _them. I turned sideways to get a different angle and almost gasped at how thin I'd gotten. I tried to push my belly out to give it some size, but there was nothing there. _Okay, note to self... potato salad = good._

I got up real close to the mirror to look myself in the eye. The whites of them were tinged red and underneath them looked sunken with dark circles. _Did I really look this horrible? How have I not noticed? How has _someone else _not noticed?_ I plastered on the most fake smile I could muster and for a moment, I could see how no one noticed such a change in me. _I _was almost fooled into thinking I was happy. I let it fall and return to its neutral position. _Ginny, what are you doing to yourself? _Having had enough introspection for one evening though, I quickly took off the rest of my clothes and bathed. Admittedly, the water was probably much hotter than I needed, but the extreme heat managed to loosen some of my tension. After fully washing, I just sat down and let the water flow over me. I almost got to a point where I felt relaxed; almost, but not quite. I had to get up though, and I knew it. I had a detention to go to. _Gosh darn, I just can't wait._

I knocked on his door five minutes early, but I doubted he'd mind... and if he did, I didn't care. Secretly I hoped it bothered the hell out of him. "Enter," came his voice from inside. I opened the door and entered his dimly lit office. It smelt almost exactly like the potions class, although a touch less severe. I'd never been in there before and I counted that as a good thing. "Have a seat."

I did as he told and took a seat opposite him and his desk. I wondered what sort of horrible things he was going to make me do, thinking of everything Ron had ever told me about his detentions. _And all I did was whisper a couple words to Luna..._

He stared me down with those dark, unreadable eyes of his and I looked around at the jars of potions ingredients behind his head to give me an excuse not to catch his gaze. He didn't seem entirely annoyed or angry as I assumed he would be, but then again, Snape was always hard to read. _Maybe he's just taking his time thinking up unpleasant task for me to do? Probably something involving cleaning some sort of foul, slimy mess without the use of a wand... _

"Not quite," it took me an embarrassingly long time to notice that he'd answered a question I hadn't asked out loud. "I'll be attempting to teach you Occlumency, the art of―

My eyes widened in complete surprise. "The art of magically defending the mind against external penetration, sealing it against magical intrusion and influence, right?" Okay, so I read a lot. I got really interested in the subject when I heard that he was attempting to give Harry lessons after he'd had his dream of dad getting attacked inside the Ministry. I thought if I could learn it, I would be able to block out Tom... I understood it in theory, but I was never able to succeed in guarding my mind from him, and I had no way of knowing if it was because I was doing it wrong or it just wasn't something that would work in that particular situation.

"Yes, that is exactly what I'll be teaching you." I swore he was almost smirking. I rewound my thoughts a little.

"Did you give me a detention just so you could give me these lessons?" now I could see that he was smirking... I didn't quite know what to think about that.

"Indeed. Why else would a Weasley be seen in my office?" Fine, that was good enough for me. But still, he didn't have to take those points away.

"Are you doing this because Dumbledore asked you to?" I thought that was a fair question. I was really curious too, Dumbledore seemed more concerned with ignoring my presence on Earth at the moment than having someone teach me how to protect my mind from intrusion.

"No," _alright, enough questions I guess..._

"So, how do we begin?" I asked, completely ready to get started. I hadn't felt this excited in a while. I was finally going to learn something that might help me. Snape rose from his seat and came over to my side of the desk.

"First you have to begin by closing your mind, emptying it of all stray thoughts. All you want to do is imagine an impenetrable force surrounding your mind, keeping everything out. Take a moment now and try this."

I closed my eyes and tried to silence the buzzing traffic of thought in my head. It was impossible, just when I thought I could hear the silence in my brain, a whole wave of thoughts about not thinking came up and then it would go off track and I'd start thinking about the most random things like suddenly becoming rather distracted by the hole in my sock which my toe had just broken through. _Damn, that was my last pair that_―

"Alright, let's start." _Uh oh... _"Alright, stand now and take out your wand. You may attempt to defend yourself in any way you can think of, but the goal is to shut me out with your own mind. Now, I'll be attempting to break into it." He pulled out his want and pointed it at me, my heart started racing. I wasn't ready. Oh dear, I wasn't ready at all. "_Legilimens!"_

The office disappeared in front of my eyes as image after image after image rushed past. I was sitting in my kitchen blowing out my 10th birthday cake, then I was snatching the snitch out of the air during the brief time I replaced Harry as seeker. I was in Moaning Myrtles washroom frantically cleaning blood from my hands.

I could feel Snape there, watching them along with me, but I couldn't do anything to stop them. I was five and Charlie was reading to me my favourite muggle story book, Alice in Wonderland. Hermione was laughing about the drunken first years. Suddenly I was eleven and sitting on the train going to Hogwarts for the very first time. I was crying, and flushing the diary down a toilet. I was breaking my hand on a stone wall. I wanted to cry for real when all images stopped. My head ached and Snape was lowering his wand. I was embarrassed by the things he'd seen, and only got more panicked about the ones he hadn't.

"You need more focus. Don't let your memories carry into one another, stop them before they surface. We'll start again. Prepare yourself." Easier said than done. Once again we were thrown back into the very personal reel of my life.

I was running after the train as it took my brothers away to Hogwarts when I was 10. I was hugging Sirius goodnight. I was thirteen and crying because I wasn't old enough to go to the ball. Luna and I were walking to the town between our homes. My father was in a fight with Lucius Malfoy in Flourish and Blotts. Remus was giving his first class of the year.

After seeing Remus in my mind, it was as if my thoughts decided to reorganize themselves. Remus was standing over me, holding a wet cloth to my forehead. Hermione and I were losing ourselves in a fit of giggles as he asked us what was wrong. Remus was sleeping at his desk. Remus was hugging me. Remus was healing my broken hand. Remus was smiling. He was offering me tea. _Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it! Snape, don't look at these! _Remus was getting rid of my boggart.

_Tom._

My thoughts reorganized again.Suddenly I was in the Chamber. Tom was laughing. Tom was kissing me. Tom was choking me. My mind was on fire. I was standing on the Astronomy tower's balcony. Tom was laughing. He was beginning to tell me about Voldemort's plans.

"_These aren't yours to give away." _Tom's voice ran through my head, and I knew it wasn't a memory. The flow of images stopped violently and a painful whiplash of magic pushed against mine and Snape's minds. I was so thrown off guard that I completely fell back onto the floor harshly, having only just missed the chair. I could feel Snape's mental signal ripped out of my own head. A splitting pain erupted in there and I could feel the oncoming migraine. I looked up at Snape and saw that he was thrown a little off kilter as well and was staring at me with undisguised alarm. Snape being alarmed was never a good thing as I may have already explained We remained in that wide eyed tableau for a good few moments.

"Was that you?" he asked finally.

"No, I don't think so... at least not consciously." I replied shakily and fully honest.

"Miss Weasley, I'm going to try to re-enter your mind, but this time I want you to open it up to me. I won't go sifting through any of your private thoughts." I nodded again thinking that he'd already done quite enough of that, and he took a step over to offer me his hand. I was actually surprised at how warm it was, for some reason I'd always been under the impression he was very cold (inside and out). I guess I was wrong on both accounts.

This time I took a firmer stance and then another deep breath. "Alright, three, two, one, _Legilimens!" _I tried to "open my mind" as best I could, but I wasn't really sure what that entailed so I just stood there doing nothing... then I realised that I was still waiting for the familiar rush of memories to overtake me, but nothing happened. I didn't feel Snape's presence at all. I took a glanced at his face and he looked terribly concentrated so I stayed silent. Finally he lowered his wand and actually took a couple deep breaths to regulate his breathing.

"Unbelievable," he muttered in awe. I looked at him questioningly. _Please elaborate? _And he did, without even needing to read my mind, I guess. "You're mind is completely impenetrable. Considering my extensive experience as a master of Legilimency and your lack thereof, I don't see how it's possible. Especially since you showed no exceptional aptitude for it as we began. But your mental defence is unbreakable. Someone as skilled as I should be able to find cracks and faults to expose, but your defence doesn't even have a seams. It's complete in absolute perfection. This is not something that's possible to do without extreme focus and deliberate intention." He did not sound pleased. In fact, he sounded deeply bothered and I don't think it was just because he had been outdone.

"That voice," he paused, as if unsure that what he was going to say made sense, "that was Tom Riddle, am I correct?" I nodded, no point being dishonest. "I think he's the one shielding your thoughts now."

"I think I'm going to be sick," I said, feeling distinctly green in the face. I was completely serious though, which is why I covered my mouth and searched for the nearest garbage. I made it just in time to relieve my stomach of the roast beef sandwich Dobby gave me from the kitchen a few minutes ago. Snape thoughtfully gave me a piece of chocolate and guided me back into the chair where he let me sit, chewing slowly on the chocolate in silence. Neither of us had anything to say, but more than enough to keep our minds occupied. I wanted to barrage Tom with my new ever growing pile of questions, but I was _not_ in the mood to hear him talking to me. What I _was _in the mood for was him to get the fuck out of my head, out of my life, and out of life in general.

I finished the chocolate and excused myself and Snape didn't move to stop me. My head was pounding, my stomach was still churning and I needed something else to eat. Snape asked me to meet with him again at the same time in two nights then he let me leave before unnecessarily reminding me to keep this new fun little development quiet. _Which is a shame really, as I had actually planned on mailing the Daily Prophet to see if they'd post this in their next issue._ I headed straight back to the kitchens but made concrete plans to go talk to Remus after. All those images of him flashed through my head again and I felt a spreading warmth that not even Tom could chill. I needed someone to talk to and I wanted it to be him. Plus, I did owe him for the past two times I failed to show.

**TBC**

Author's note: Yes, I know I'm a horrible person! It's been like a month since I've updated, holy crap! I can't even believe it. To be fair, I had exams, then I got a job, then I... did a whole lot of summertime sleeping... okay, so I don't really have that great of excuses... but I have been working on this chapter, and I actually completely rewrote it because I was so displeased with it the first time. I actually don't even like it too much this time around, but oh well, you guys need something! And I made sure it would be the longest one yet, which is definitely is! So I do hope you enjoyed it and will forgive me for taking so long to get this to you, hopefully the next chapter will be much more interesting and much faster at being posted! Anyways, keep up the reviews, they really get me feeling super guilty if I haven't updated in a while and they make me write much faster :)


	16. Closing the Gap

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something other than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Sixteen**

Walking down the halls very slowly, having been appropriately over stuffed with shepherd's pie, I drew deeper and deeper into my own thoughts. Firstly, I was embarrassed to have shown such a weakness in front of Snape especially considering his argument to Dumbledore that I could handle more than I was given credit for. _Probably wishes he hadn't spoken so soon, I bet. Not only that, but the man got a front row seat to all my intimate feelings towards a certain fellow employee of his… and my dinner I have a sneaking suspicion that only bad things can come from that (the former, not the latter). Then again, I might just be a little paranoid and he might not have seen everything I did... and even so, he might not have even been able to discern what it meant..._ _I hope._ _Well, if it's any consolation to myself, he's probably got much bigger things to think about, like "why is Tom Riddle protecting my thoughts from being read?" or something of that nature. _The more I thought about it, the more that seemed to be the most likely scenario. Then the _more_ I thought about it, the stranger it seemed that this wasn't the case for me. Weird unexpected life altering development after weird unexpected life altering development was probably just getting overdone. I would probably be more concerned at this point if nothing new happened.

As I turned the last corner (making sure to plough into anyone again) I noticed light coming from Remus' open door. I didn't think too much about it until I got nearer and heard the voice coming from inside. _Snape! What the hell is he doing in there? _I nearly had a panic attack there in the hallway. I edged closer, trying my hardest not to let my feet make a sound. I know it's horrible to eavesdrop... but Snape may or not have been privy to a large secret of mine involving Remus, and I had a sickening certainty that him and I weren't in a secret keeping place in our relationship (no matter how much more he liked me than my siblings).

I didn't dare look in, but I pressed myself beside the door, close enough so that I could hear almost every word.

"Thank you, Severus. The full-moon would be unbearable without this." The tension I hadn't been aware of holding unclenched a little when I heard this. _Snape's just here to give him the Wolfsbane Potion; this has absolutely nothing to do with me. _

"Well you don't appear to be bearing too well right now. You look as if a light breeze could topple you over. Your next transformation isn't for weeks; surely you're not feeling the effects already?" So it wasn't just me who noticed. If he was looking sickly enough for _Snape _to make a comment, it must be serious. _I'm going to have to have a chat with him about this._ I inched a sliver closer to hear Remus' reply.

"I'm perfectly alright, Severus," even from a distance I could hear the strain in his voice. "These past few days have been particularly exhausting, as you well know." No kidding.

"Indeed," Snape replied, leaving a long break in the conversation before he continued. "I did as you asked, but I believed my efforts were for nothing."

"What do you mean?" Remus sounded concerned and perplexed, much like myself. Once again I found myself in a situation where no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise; I couldn't help think that I was going to be the focal point of this conversation. To be fair, past experiences have shown me how often this intuition has been correct. My heart started to race and my face began to flush. I crossed my fingers, hoping as usual that I was going to be proven wrong. But, if Snape was saying what I thought he was, it was Remus who wanted me to have the lessons, which definitely made a lot more sense.

As soon as Snape continued, my fears were proven correct. As always. "Her mind was exceedingly easy to enter at first, expectedly as she'd never had any training in defence. On a second attempt, I was only able to stay inside for a few moments before being violently thrown out. I asked her to open up her mind and allow me to attempt to enter for a second time, but to no avail. Her entire consciousness was wrapped in a faultless protective barrier." It really didn't do anything to calm my nerves when he used such a solemn tone.

"So she's somehow developed an aptitude for occlumency? It's rare, but not completely unheard of," Remus asked, clearly knowing that this wasn't the case.

"No, the protection around her mind is not of her own doing." Another unbearably long pause.

Remus sighed with unbelievable weariness, "Tom Riddle, I presume?"

"That's what it appears to be. The last image I was able to glean was her conversing with him on the railing of one of the school's towers―

"What! What do you mean on the railing? Is she insane?" Remus cried out. That was definitely not how I wanted him to find out what I'd been out of my mind to do this morning.

Snape really didn't seem to care too much about my antics and brushed it off with a quick reply so that he could continue. "Yes, apparently so. It was _his _consciousness that wanted to block me from these images of him. Whatever piece that still resides in the girl is much stronger than Albus has assumed." _Oh_,_ wonderful._

The longest pause yet followed his remark. _Well, at least I haven't got to figure out how I'm going to tell Remus what's happened. _I heard a chair scraping across the floor and knew that Snape had gotten up. I readied myself to sprint away from the door as soon as I heard the sound of his approaching footfall, but it didn't come.

"Do you know what else I saw inside her mind, Lupin?" My heard froze and the blood rushed out of my face and all my extremities. _Oh god, no no no no no! Shut your face, Snape! Please, please, please! _Remus remained just as silent as I was, waiting for him to continue. "You. I saw you," he seemed to pause for a reaction but Remus didn't make one. "I saw image after image of just you, Lupin. I also saw the way she was looking at you last night in Albus' office." I wanted nothing more than to run away and possibly feed myself to one of Hagrid's blast-ended skrewts, but I couldn't tear myself away.

"What are you trying to say, Severus?" I could hear the warning Remus was sending for Snape to tread with care. Hopefully, he heard it too.

"I'm saying _take care_, Lupin. I see the similarities myself, but she's not _her._" _Wait, what?_

"Do you actually think I don't know that, Severus!" Remus snapped angrily, somewhat startling me. "Don't talk about things you don't understand. I thank you again for brewing the potion and for taking some of your _valuable _time to assist her, but I must bid you goodnight."

Before I really had time to process those last few pieces of information, I heard the swish of Snape's cloak and his fast approaching steps. I quickly stepped around the corner on the tips of my toes, then felt my stomach lurch as I realized he'd be coming this way to get to his own office. I scanned around horrified, feeling nearly as frightened as I would if Snape were an axe wielding murder looking for me. I thought of pulling out my wand to conceal myself, but no spell came to mind. Instead, I dove at the last millisecond behind a suit of armour and nearly peed myself from the adrenalin coursing through my body as he glided by. I took a few seconds to catch my breath then slipped out as quietly as I could. It took a fair bit more manoeuvring to get out then it took to get in, but I finally unhooked my second leg and freed myself.

If only I had waited a few more seconds, I'm sure the events that followed would not have happened.

"Ginny?" _Oh. Holy. Hell. _

I turned slowly, pasting the most humanly awkward smile on my face. "Oh! Hi, Remus! How are you?" I laughed nervously, trying to cover up my absolute horror. Unfortunately I only managed to sound at best, completely demented.

"Ginevra, what are you doing down here?" he looked absolutely horrid. Snape was right, Remus was not looking well. Of course, this only made me feel that much worse.

I laughed again against my will. _Good God, Ginny! Shut up!_ My mind was a big ball of nothingness "Uh, I well, um―

He sighed again and it sounded so miserable that my eyes filled with tears. "We're you listening to mine and Severus' conversation?" The thought of lying to him flashed briefly in my head, but I didn't have the strength or nerve to even attempt it.

"Yes," I replied weakly, looking to the ground so he wouldn't see shame in my eyes. "I'm more sorry than I can ever express. I was just coming down here to talk to you, but the door was open and I could hear both of your voices and I knew it was none of my business but I―

"Would you like to come in? I can make us some tea?" I was more than a little surprised; this was not the reaction I was expecting.

"Um, a-alright." I replied, confused. I followed him back into his office and stood awkwardly, unsure if I should sit or not. For a while it seemed as if he were ignoring me. He searched through his cupboards for the tea, and then lit a fire underneath a kettle he'd filled. Finally, after he finished with his tinkering, he looked up at me. His gaze was piercing and I felt exposed and completely vulnerable. I subconsciously hugged my arms to my chest.

As he wasn't saying a thing, I couldn't stop myself from breaking the silence. "I'm really, really sorry. I know I shouldn't have stayed to listen but―

"―but you heard we were talking about you so you stayed to see what Severus was going to say. I don't think anyone else in your position wouldn't have done the same thing." _Well, that about sums it up._ He took a seat and then gestured for me to do the same. I quickly complied. Unfortunately, Remus was the very last person I had wanted Snape to have said anything to.

I wasn't exactly sure how I was supposed to be feeling now. Remus wasn't angry, but he was also showing no reaction to the last bit of information Snape revealed. This is what was worrying me most of all.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a warning about Severus teaching you occlumency. I was going to tell you at lunch, but apparently we'd just missed each other," he said, lifting the note I scribbled him earlier. All I could do was nod. "Apparently you don't need any lessons in defending your mind though, due to some unforeseen circumstances." _Yeah, you could call it that... _I nodded again. I really didn't want to talk about me. I'd heard enough about me today. I hear enough about me _most _days. I made a split decision to change the subject.

"You know, Snape was right," I started and Remus raised one eyebrow in of curiosity. "You look like crap." He glared for a moment, and then let out a deep chuckle. I finally laughed naturally and all at once the tension left the room.

"Yes, and you're just the spitting image of healthy and carefree." he smirked.

"Well, I do have a young Dark Lord squatting in an empty lot of my mind, what's your excuse?"

"Yeah, because it's not like I turn into a bloodthirsty hellhound once a month, that would just be ridiculous!" We mock glared at each other, but then a silence fell again. I couldn't help but break that one either.

"I still think I win." we both burst into a fit of chuckles.

"Ginevra, will you answer me one question?" he seemed more serious now. I mentally prepared myself for what might come next. "What in the name of Merlin were you doing on one of the tower's railings?" _Oh yeah, that._

Now that I was actually talking to someone else about it, I was a little embarrassed. That was really not one of my most brilliant plans. "Well... I was sort of threatening Tom," I paused, not really sure how much I should say. "I wanted to talk to him."

Remus looked very pensive. "And did you?"

Once again the conversation was going in directions that I would much rather avoid. "Yes, but he didn't really tell me anything useful..." That was pretty much the truth or at least as far as I was going to go with it. Luckily for me, he didn't pursue it further because the kettle started shrieking to let us know it was ready. Remus didn't waste a moment to get up, take it off the burner and pour the steaming hot water into two mugs he'd just conjured. After adding a bag of tea into each cup, he walked over and handed me mine. I took it gratefully, expecting him to walk back to his seat, but he stood transfixed. His face grew dark, and I grew concerned. He wasn't looking in my eyes, but something on me. _Oh holy Zeus, please don't be a spider, _I thought irrationally, but honestly, they're freaky. He lifted a hand near my neck and I stopped breathing, absolutely uncertain what he was going to do. Finally he lightly pulled aside the collar of my shirt.

"Ginevra, what's this?" An image of me examining the bruises Tom left flashed through my mind. I grabbed my shirt away from him and pulled it back to cover my neck. Remus was looking absolutely furious. "Who did this?"

I shrank under his gaze. The tension was back in the room tenfold. "Well, you know how I said I threatened Tom? Well, he didn't really appreciate that."

"It was _him_?" I felt my bottom lip quiver. _Don't cry, Ginny. Don't cry, Ginny. Don't cry, Ginny. _Seeing the pure worry in Remus' face nearly set me off again. I nodded in response, not willing to open my mouth and hear the tremble in my voice. "I'm sorry, it's not my right to pry," he backed away a little. "I don't think you realize how much I worry about you," he added, barely higher than a whisper.

I really didn't know what to say about that. So I stayed silent and took some deep breaths through my nose. He continued.

"Do you know who Severus was comparing you to, Ginevra?" I shook my head. "Lily Evans," he explained with a sad smile.

"Harry's mum?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes, though Severus and I knew her much earlier than when she became Harry's mum, let alone James' wife. Although the four of us, James, Sirius, Peter and I were the four everyone remembers, it was Lily who was my very best and closest friend," he seemed lost in the thought of his memories. I knew the feeling.

I had a question on the tip of my tongue, but I hesitated for a long while to ask it. "Did you love her?"

He smiled. "Of course I loved her; I think I loved her more than anyone else in my entire life. But not the way everyone else assumed. Almost everyone I knew thought I hated James for marrying her. I think even he suspected me of jealousy. But it was never like that, I was so happy that she found him and that she was happy with him. When I heard the news..." he was starting to get choked up so I stood and grabbed his hand. _Funny how the roles keep switching..._

"You don't have to tell me, it's alright."

"The similarities between the two of you are absolutely striking, even Severus can see them," I gave him a little smile. He hadn't let go of my hand. "You're completely different from her though. She never had your strength," I started to blush, I've no ability to take compliments well, "or your endurance. I don't think I could find anyone in the whole wizarding world who was like you, Ginevra and I'm not sure I'd want to. You're special." My face was practically on fire. I tried my best not to look into the endless pools of his eyes for fear of drowning in them.

I don't know if it was my imagination or not, but the space between us seemed to be growing smaller and smaller. I swear I could feel his breath on my face. I chanced a glance upwards and got caught. My eyes locked onto his and for a moment I lost myself. Never in my life had I ever felt so connected to another person.

"Ginevra, I―

He never got to finish because I took the final step and closed the gap between us, doing what I'd been secretly wanting to do since the school year started. I closed my eyes and touched my lips to his.

**TBC**

Author's note: holy crap, who has been waiting years for them to kiss? I sure have! Gosh! Anyways, I hope you liked that, I had a lot of trouble writing their dialogue because I didn't really know how they should get to the point of an actual kiss, but that's what I came up with and that's what you get :) Hopefully you liked it and forgive me for having to wait this long! But I assure you now the relationship is going to go much faster :) Anyways, I hope you're having a good summer, I know I am! Please leave some feedback for me, it makes me happy when you do! 


	17. Interruptions

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something other than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Seventeen**

It lasted no more than a moment: the softest brush of the lips. I don't even know if it could be considered a kiss but for the first time since I could remember, not a thought went through my mind. I pulled back slowly, but not with embarrassment or shame. I'd done all that I was willing for the moment, the rest was up to him.

We hadn't broken eye contact the entire time, so I was still staring into those bottomless pools. There were too many emotions on the surface to be able to pick apart any specific ones. His lips were ever so slightly parted and suddenly I became hyper aware of how shapely they were.

Although I did make the decision to leave whatever happened next up to him, his lack of response wasn't exactly what I had been imagining. "Remus?" I asked, just above a whisper, but there was still no reaction. Not even a flicker of recognition in his eyes. I opened my mouth to speak again, but only got the first letter off the tip of my tongue. He took a half step closer without warning, just closing the gap between our bodies. A piece of paper couldn't have fit between us. His left arm reached up languidly to brush a stray hair behind my ear. His finger tips brushed the side of my face and I euphorically let my eyelids drop closed. His hand ran through my hair until he was holding the back of my head. I let its weight rest in his palm, and so he took control, pulling it closer to him, closing the final space between us once more.

The kiss started out slow, almost dreamily as if our minds hadn't caught up with the reality of the situation. A smile broke out over my face as I felt his tongue pressing for entrance (which I gladly admitted). I pressed myself completely against him and somehow, we were a perfect fit. I raised my left arm to his right and my right to the back of his neck to increase the depth of the kiss. At that moment, he was my lifeline. It was only him that was keeping me alive, though I could have died then and there, completely satisfied because my life would have ended happier and more fulfilled than ever before. Unfortunately, in my life, it never lasts.

A loud, urgent knock filled in the silence of the room. I jumped back from Remus in alarm, having forgotten all about the rest of the world. I couldn't believe what had just happened and from the look on Remus' face, the reality of the situation hadn't caught up to him either. Looking if possible, more startled than I felt, he opened his mouth to say something to me, but the voice on the other side of the door interrupted.

"Remus, if you're in there then please answer the door!" Professor McGonagall beseeched. Remus took a step towards the door but I cried out in a panicking whisper.

"What should I do?" He turned back, and motioned for me to sit down and act normal. He took a deep inhale to steady his breathing and opened the door.

"What is it Minerva?" it wasn't until he moved out of the way that I could see just how flustered she really was. Her eyes were wide and her skin paler than usual. She didn't even notice I was there when she started speaking again.

"Albus has called together a meeting for the Order. Something's happened; he won't let anyone know what it is until we're all together. He made it clear that he needs you there now."

Remus nodded in understanding of the seriousness of the situation. "I'll be right behind you." He turned around to look at me, and finally McGonagall noticed I was there. I think it was a real sign of how distracted she was when she showed no reaction to my unexplained presence. "What about Miss Weasley, is she permitted to be present as well?"

I could tell the answer just by the pitiful look she gave me. "I'm sorry..." she added, knowing I already knew the verdict. She was clearly hesitant though, and of course, being me, I knew why. Remus was also looking in my direction with a hint of concern. The concern wasn't for me though. They both thought I was going to take the news of my being left out poorly, with good reason. If my mind hadn't been a storm of turmoil, I'd definitely have a thing or two to say about my obvious dismissal. As it was, I was too emotionally worn out to handle whatever unpleasantness Dumbledore had called a meeting for... knowing me anyways, I'd find out soon enough. Much sooner than I'd like to, most likely.

"Alright, it's almost curfew, I should be in my common room." Remus was clearly suspicious at my lack of reaction, but McGonagall breathed a sigh of relief. I grinned internally when I heard it, having breathed a fair number myself growing up in the Weasley household. McGonagall said goodnight and started to leave the office, impatiently waiting for Remus to follow. I passed him on the way out and felt a less than pleasant jolt when I tried to catch his gaze and he clearly was avoiding mine. This was probably not the time to be sorting through our situation. But still, as I walked by, I subtly slipped my hand into his, out of sight from McGonagall. Finally, he turned his eyes to mine, but I couldn't read a single one of the emotions within. He gave me a light squeeze, then slowly released, closed the door to his office and followed after McGonagall.

I stayed until they were out of sight, taking a moment to gather myself together and get over the inexplicable feeling of loss. After a long enough while, I managed to make my way back to the common room as I said I would.

It was no surprise to me when I found the common room empty of Ron, Harry or Hermione, but I was still upset. I was feeling a terrible deficit of human connection in my life and I would have liked to have someone to talk to. I went upstairs, grabbed my History of Magic text and came back down to find a cozy chair near the fire.

Although history usually enthrals me, I couldn't keep my mind on the words. Soon I wasn't even seeing the page as I was lost in thought. _What's going to happen now? As much as I imagined myself being with Remus, I always knew it was something that could never happen. But what if it does? What if we can make it happen? I mean, he's the same age as Harry's parents were, that's quite an age gap, but I don't care, age doesn't mean a thing to me. What does it mean to him though? What if he doesn't feel the same? How are we going to talk about this? How would things have turned out if he hadn't had to go to that meeting? As much as I don't want to know what's happened because it's so obviously something terrible, am I still not considered relevant enough to be allowed? I'm possibly one of the few people who are directly linked to Voldemort. I can't really think of anyone besides Harry who can claim such a thing... and he's up there. Ron and Hermione are up there only because everyone knows that Harry won't keep the meeting a secret from them. But I'm clearly going to be a big part of this war, and as Tom makes it seem, I may be _the _deciding piece. Haven't they_―

"Ginny Weasley, why the hell are you reading a History of Magic textbook?" for the second time today I managed to completely forget about the rest of the world, so having my least favourite housemate ask me a question, startled the crap out of me in the least desirable way possible. I made myself recover quickly enough though.

"Seriously Calum, if you're here to bother me, or make fun of me, or remind me of how horrible a morning I had, then I'm requesting for you to leave me the hell alone or I may curse the will to live out of you." I tried to make my voice sound snappy as it usually was when talking to him, but it just came out exhausted and worn out. _Great, now he's going to be even more unbearable. _To my utmost surprise and suspicion, he plunked himself down into the recently unoccupied chair beside me. He took a long, long, extremely long assessment of my face then opened his mouth again.

Having expecting a rude comment about how uptight and unhealthy I looked, I wasn't prepared for what he said next. "What's up, Ginny? Rough detention? That's Snape for you, giving detention to anyone who breathes too loudly," he smiled at his clever observation. I glared at him trying to figure out his motives for being nice, but finding nothing, I just stared at him in obvious lack of understanding.

"What?" he asked, though I could tell he was just feigning ignorance.

My eyes narrowed. "As if you've ever cared about how I'm feeling before."

He gave a full bodied laugh. "Well then why don't we just forget I asked, and put all that nonsense behind us," he then pulled out a book from his bag and sat back in the chair to read. I decided to ignore him and go back to my lame attempt to read my own book or at least back into my own thoughts, but his presence kept intruding upon the mess of thinking going on in my mind. Finally I just gave up fighting and snapped my text shut.

"I'm sorry, alright? I'm just having one of the most chaotic days of my life so, not that you ever have before, would you mind cutting me some slack?"

"Sounds good to me," he replied, grinning cheekily. For a split second I was so pissed off at him that I almost snapped, then suddenly I burst out laughing.

"Do you fully comprehend just how annoying you are?" A wide grin split his face in two.

"Of course I do, I wouldn't be very effective otherwise." And that was that, Calum provided the most perfect distraction for my achingly over stuffed head. We spent the next two hours teasing each other about everything from our last Transfiguration test to the upcoming World Cup tournament. Needless to say there was much arguing (I mean come on, the Kenmare Kestrels had as much chance of winning as Dobby and the Hogwarts House elves did), but for the first time I didn't feel inclined to commit murder.

The night started getting late and the common room slowly emptied. When Calum went off to bed I was feeling pretty relaxed and composed but as the last person went off to bed and the minutes kept passing by in which my brother, Harry and Hermione still hadn't come back, I started to spiral back down into a mess of worry and pessimism. I watched the fire burn itself down to embers and somewhere along the way I guess I burnt out too despite my truant napping this afternoon. Suddenly I was being lightly shaken awake.

"Gin? Come on, wake up," I opened my eyes to see my brother standing over me.

"Ah, good morning, brother!" I said, yawning and sitting up.

"Well you're right on that account, it's almost three o'clock." I took a glance around and unsurprisingly found Harry and Hermione sitting on a couch nearby. It took a little while for my brain to reach full capacity, but finally it completely woke up.

"How was the meeting? What happened? What are Dumbledore's plans now? Has anyone been hurt? Did you see mum and dad? How are they?" I had so many more questions... but I had to pause to breathe.

Ron looked slightly amused for a moment but then sobered up quickly. "The meeting was a little bit chaotic, no one's really sure what to do right now... Things are going to get a lot worse now, Ginny," he sound so grim that I didn't want to ask any more questions, but I had to.

"Ron, _what_ happened!" He glanced over at Harry and Hermione, then sat himself down where Calum had been hours earlier.

"It was Greyback," my heart nearly froze mid beat. "Him and a couple followers attacked a muggle village..."

"Oh my God," I whispered in horror, "were there any survivors?" My knuckles were turning white as I clenched the armrests of the chair tight as I could.

"Ginny," he paused for a long moment, what he had to say next was too hard for him to get out.

Instead, Hermione finished for him, speaking barely above a whisper. "Ginny, almost everyone survived."

I turned around to look at her, horribly confused for a moment. _That was good wasn't it?_ "I don't understand, almost all of them?" I looked at each of their faces and knew there was something I was missing. "But..." the true monstrosity of it finally hit me like a tidal wave. I had to cover my mouth to stop from crying out. "They turned them all? What about the children? Dear God, what about _all of them?_"

"Lupin says children don't take well to the transformation, the strain is too intense on their bodies, most of them... most of them won't be able to adapt and they'll... well, they won't make it." Ron finished off emotionally.

"It was basically unheard of for a werewolf's victim so young to survive a bite, Lupin's actually one of the few only children that have survived after coming into contact with Greyback," Hermione added. My heart froze for a second time. _Remus..._

"So what's going to happen now, what's Dumbledore's plan? You were there for hours, surely he's come up with something?" He must have thought of something, there _must _be a plan!

"Well Snape's going to be doing double the work now to get You Know Who to confide in him when he's going to plan another critical move like this. Order members are being moved worldwide now to rally supporters and Lupin is going to go undercover and join forces with the werewolf community because as of right now they aren't directly under His command."

"_What!"_ I was on my feet the second I heard "undercover". "What do you mean he's going to go undercover? They're going to _kill _him! What was Dumbledore thinking! How could he ask that of him?" I was apoplectic; I swear I was breathing out steam.

"It's his choice, Ginny. We need every bit of leverage we can get." Ron replied sadly. He stood up and gave my shoulder a soft squeeze before heading up to bed. Hermione stood and quickly followed suit. Harry, having said nothing yet, remained behind, staring at the last of the embers.

Staring at him, I made multiple split decisions that I intended to carry out. "Harry," he woke from his daze and guided his attention to me, "I need your cloak and your map."

Clearly that was not what he'd been expecting. "What for?"

I walked over to the couch and sat down beside him, putting my hand on his lap. "Harry, _please!_" I pleaded, allowing the tears I'd been holding back to glaze over my eyes. For a moment I had no idea which way he was going to lean, but after a suspenseful silence, he agreed and stood up, making his way to the boy's dormitory stairs.

"And Harry?" he turned around with the ghost of a smile on his face.

"Don't tell Ron?" he guessed. I smiled and nodded, fully appreciating the kind of person Harry was.

I didn't have to wait long, Harry was back down in less than three minutes, and I was out the door seconds later. Cloak wrapped firmly around me, I sped through the halls, searching every corner of the map for his name. As predicted, he was nowhere near his office, but that didn't exactly narrow down my search. Finally my eye caught the movement of one of the dots and found out why he was so difficult to locate: he'd left the school.

I picked up my pace as fast as I possibly could without running for fear that I would lose track of him, but as I watched the little dot it finally came to a stop near the edge of the lake. I slipped out the recently unlocked front door of the castle and immediately regretted my wardrobe. I muttered a quick heating charm and pocketed the map so I could use both arms to hug the cloak as tight as possible. I made my way over the grounds, glad for the cloudless night. I didn't need to pull out my wand for light. When I looked back at the castle, only one or two lighted windows could be seen.

As I approached the lake, a dark figure became more and more visible. Finally I was able to recognize Remus' outline. Trying to decide how to approach without alarming him, I suppose I must have made some noise because he whipped around, wand out.

"Who's there?" he asked to the apparently empty darkness.

"It's me, Ginny," I replied, pulling off the cloak.

He lowered his wand and ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face. "Merlin, Ginevra! Has no one ever told you not to sneak up on people in the dark at three o'clock in the morning? I almost hexed you into tomorrow!"

"Has anyone told you how hard it is to _not_ sneak up on someone at three o'clock in the morning when they're out wandering about in the dark?" I mentally kicked myself for sounding so snappy, but my nerves were pretty much shot for the night. "I came to find you and make sure you're alright."

His whole body seemed to sink into melancholy. I walked up beside him and tried to examine his face, but there were too many shadows for me to get a good reading. "Harry's lent you his map and cloak, has he? He must really trust you." There was something very strange in his tone, but I couldn't interpret it.

"Yeah, I guess... I think it also helps that he knows I would curse him six ways to Sunday if he didn't." I answered, feebly hoping to illicit some sort of smile. No such luck. "Ron and Hermione told me what happened, I'm so sorry. I know it was Fenrir Greyback who initiated the assault and that he was also the one who bit you when you were young." I didn't really know where I was going with this, I just wanted to put my arms around him and hold him, and let him know I was there but there was something different emanating him: something cold. He wasn't showing any sign of responding yet, so I continued. "Ron told me about Dumbledore's assignment for you. You're going to go work as a spy within the werewolf factions?"A light gust of wind came up off the lake and chilled me to the bone, brushing my feeble charm away as if it were nothing. I didn't have the mental capacity left to hold it long enough to keep me warm.

He gave a short, humourless laugh that set me on edge. "Albus hasn't asked me to do anything, it was my idea. I volunteered." It took a couple seconds for me to get my mind around that comment.

"What?" I demanded, hoping he wasn't implying what I thought he was.

"This is my chance to do something for our side, to play a proper role," he turned away to look out over the lake.

"At what cost?" I walked around to make sure he could see my face. "Remus, this is a _suicide _mission! What help are you going to be when you're _dead_?"He didn't respond, would barely even look me in the eye but as soon as I opened my mouth to continue, he interrupted.

"I have to do this! Don't you understand? I have to atone for the mistakes I've made!" It broke my heart to hear such despair coming from him. I took a step closer and grabbed his hand.

"What are you talking about?" I cried, not even the best of my abilities could stop my voice from getting choked up. "What mistakes could possibly be so terrible that you're willing to risk your life to be absolved for? You can't possibly―

"I as good as killed them alright! It's my fault they're dead! All of them!" I flinched as he cried out, causing his voice to carry off into the dark. He dropped my hand and used his to warm up his arms. I was so distracted by his wretchedness that I didn't even notice the cold anymore. I'd never seen him so worked up and vulnerable; it scared me. He was always the one supporting me, he was the strength I sought when all mine was used up.

"Remus, what are you talking about?" I asked quietly, hesitant to cause another outburst. He turned away from me once more. This time I didn't move and just gave him time. In the silence I could hear a strange noise that took me a moment to realize it was coming from him. I paid further attention and saw his shoulders trembling: he was crying.

Enough was enough; he didn't need to be pushed. I went around and wrapped my arms around his trembling body and held him tight. I murmured a few words of comfort, but soon went silent. I was going to stand there for however long it took. After a long enough time his shaking ceased and after a few minutes of choked up breathing, he grew quiet.

It's because of me Lily and James died. It's because of me Sirius was locked away. It's all because of me that he died." He spoke so softly I nearly missed it. It seemed as if all his emotions were spent because his voice was nearly lifeless. My first reaction was to protest furiously, it was _Voldemort's _fault, no one else's, but I stopped myself. This was his time to speak. After a long moment's pause, he sighed forlornly and continued. "Do you know why they chose Peter instead of Sirius as Secret Keeper? It was because of me. It was because James and Sirius thought I was passing information to Voldemort. Who knows, maybe Lily thought I was as well. Can you imagine that? The people you love and trust more than yourself believing in you so little they'd think you were betraying them to the grave? Maybe if I had been there more, been less afraid of how the world would treat me and my _condition, _they would have been able to trust me. They wouldn't have trusted the wrong person." His voice started to break again so I pulled a bit back and rested a hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and took a few deep, steadying breaths before he opened them again. He reached up and grasped my hand.

"That doesn't make you responsible, Remus." I wanted nothing more than to put some of that light back into his empty eyes.

"It was Peter who told me what happened to them, can you imagine that? He flooed my home and told me that the Dark Mark had been seen above Godric's Hollow. I knew instantly that it was them. Peter told me that he was going to go after Sirius because he had to have betrayed them. He was gone before I could stop him. Do you know what I did next? I flooed the Ministry and told them exactly what had happened or at least what I _thought_ happened. The Aurors came moments too late. Peter was gone. You know, I spent the next twelve years of my life _revering_ him for his courage and loyalty."

"You couldn't have known..."

"Sirius requested to see me when he was sent to Azkaban but... I couldn't. I couldn't bear to look at his face knowing what I thought I knew," he gave another shaky sigh. "Twelve years, he spent twelve years alone and forsaken... I could have made a difference. I could have been there, I _should _have been there... but once again I wasn't." I clasped his hand with both of mine and held it tight. "I owe him. I owe Lily and James. This is my chance."

"Do you really think they'd want that from you?" I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but was having troubles getting it out. "Are you... are you sure they wouldn't want you to stay so you could be there for those who still need you?" I could only hold his gaze for a few seconds before my face flushed red and I had to look down.

"Ginevra, I'm so sorry. Tonight should have never happened. Out of selfishness I let it go too far." My hands loosened and he removed his. I took an involuntary step back, wishing I could pick my feet up and run away from all that I knew was coming. Instead I remained frozen to the spot, locked in place by those so familiar eyes that I'd grown to need. "Ginevra, we―I-I can't do this," and with that abrupt knife to my heart, he turned and fled, walking back towards the castle, lost to the shadows before I'd even taken my second breath. It wasn't until then that I truly felt the cold sting of the November night.

**TBC**

Author's note: I really am a horrible person, aren't I? Bahaha to be fair my life's a mess right now and I'm using fanfiction as a sort of mental therapy :) It's working like a charm, I've pretty much got the next chapter completely planned out from start to finish so unless I get axe murdered on the way to school tomorrow, I should have it up before next week. Anyways, I hope you don't all kill me because that's a brutal ending to a chapter... right when things were looking so positive at the end of the last one :( It made me sad to have to write it, don't even doubt that. I hope you enjoyed and are all pumped up for what's to come! I sure am :) Anyways, sorry for taking so long, I sincerely hope you will leave a review telling me to hurry my butt up. Kthxbye! 3


	18. Alibi

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something other than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Oh good, you're awake!" My mind was so fuzzy. Opening my eyes was painful. There was so much light. Nothing was making sense. "It's about time, dear! I've been quite concerned since Hagrid brought you in," _Hagrid?_ Why wasn't it making any sense?

I tried to focus my concentration on where the voice was originating from, but I was having a lot of difficulty. I found that I was lying on something soft. _Where the hell am I? _I tried to sit up, but my limbs were exceedingly stiff.

"Miss Weasley, can you hear me?" A face swam into view and I finally made the appropriate connections. I was just waiting for my memories to come back to explain to me what I was doing in the Hospital Wing.

"Miss Weasley, I'm going to need you to sit up so you can drink this," Madam Pomfrey put a steadying arm behind my back and helped me sit up straight. She pressed a cup to my mouth and poured its contents down my throat before I could ask any questions. Once I finished choking it down, she bustled off into another room. I spent a few minutes evaluating myself, checking for injuries, but thankfully I found none. I did a few stretches to ease some of the tension throughout my body, but even the smallest amount of exertion tired me out so I lay back down. _What the hell happened? I can't remember a single thing before waking up. I know I was outside, I was looking for Remus. _Our conversation came flooding back in vivid detail. Him breaking down, me comforting him, him leaving... my wanting to be swallowed by the earth… _but what the hell came next_? I clenched my hands into angry fists and I squeezed the blankets around me. _Why can't I remember? _

"_Because I took over for you," _came the conscious reply from inside my mind.

"Tom?"

"_Who else?" _For once in our entire 'relationship', Tom didn't sound cheered by my being miserable. I swore I felt annoyance emanating from him.

"What am I doing in the Hospital Wing?"

"_Well you, being a foolish, emotionally deranged, teenage girl nearly let us _die_ this morning! I barely had enough strength to drag your pathetic meat envelop to the giant-man's hovel before we lost consciousness!" _Okay, he wasn't annoyed. He was furious. "_Once that wolf of a man left, your mind completely shut down, I couldn't even speak to you!" _I paused for a second. Why did that sound so much like concern? Tom wasn't capable of that. "_You almost fell asleep out there in below zero with a goddamned invisibility cloak over you! I knew you weren't terribly clever, but this is crossing new lines. Lucky for me, hypothermia made you lose consciousness so that I could muster up enough will to crawl your sorry body somewhere that you'd be found come morning." _Holy Hera, I felt like the biggest idiot on the face of the entire planet. I _loved _when he did that.

I was stunned; Tom just saved me from great potential harm. Never did I think I would be saying these words to him with such sincerity, "thank you."

"_Do that again and I swear you're never getting your body back." _Was that an attempt at a joke? I couldn't help but crack a grin. Then again, he was probably serious.

I felt his presence slip into the back of my mind where he usually stayed and before I knew it, I was stifling a number of yawns. Judging it to be around seven in the morning, I closed my eyes for another few hours of sleep, assuming Madam Pomfrey would clear me to go to class that day. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

...

By the time I woke up again, the sky was turning pink with the setting sun, and I felt more refreshed then I had in months. I stretched out my whole body, arms high above my head, legs extended and toes curled; Merlin, I love a good stretch (who doesn't?).

"Good evening, Ginevra. I'm glad to see you're rested and feeling better." I sat up with a start.

"What time is it?" I murmured, perhaps not as enthusiastically as I could have, but I wasn't sure sleeping through a whole day of class (again) was productive.

"It's just nearing six," Madam Pomfrey informed, moving around to the other side of my bed to change the flowers. "You have someone here to see you, are you feeling up to it?" My stomach lurched uncomfortably (I hadn't eaten in maybe twenty four hours; big surprises weren't going to go over to well). My mind went off at a rocket's speed though: _was it Remus? What must he think of me? Will he hold himself responsible? Will he change his mind? Does he feel as awful as I do? What am I going to say?_

"Ginny!"

"Harry? W-what are you doing here?" My expectations took a shot to the gut. My eyes prickled with needles of disappointment. Luckily, Harry's presence provided enough of a distraction to stop any treacherous tears from falling.

"As if I'm the one who should be answering that question!" He berated with an unbelievably fair share of affection and concern. "In case you didn't realize, when I lent you my cloak, I did expect you to _come back! _At breakfast when I figured out you hadn't come back to the tower last night I almost had a fit! I couldn't even look at my map to find you because you'd ran off with that as well!" I guess it's my lot in life to make people worry. I wanted to hurl myself out the window with all the guilt swimming through me. Another thought struck me.

"Your cloak!" I put my hands up over my mouth to stop my horrified gasp. "Harry, I am so sorry! I don't know what happened to it but I swear you can just kill me. I won't even try to run away." The look on his face nearly did the trick. I closed my eyes for fear of the betrayal of trust in his. The last sound on earth that I would have ever expected burst forth from his lips. He was laughing. I cracked my eyes open hesitantly. He laughed harder; in fact tears were beginning to form.

"Ginevra Molly Weasley, I am not going to kill you, alright? How do you think I found out where you were? Hagrid came and found me this morning and told me everything. He was worried about what would have happened if they'd found it on you! Good thing too, that would have been tough to explain away, huh?" I don't think my face could have been any more red.

"So you're not furious with me?"

"Why would I be? Mad with concern, maybe. You should have seen Hermione, she was absolutely mental." He wiped away a stray tear from the corner of his eye, still chuckling a little.

"Oh my God," I pressed my hands to my face and groaned, "what did Ron say?"

"Well nothing, we all thought it best he didn't know." I could have kissed him. "I've got to go back though, before he suspects that I didn't actually leave my text in the library. At least now I can give Hermione a report on how well you're doing. She wanted to come herself but ever since Halloween he hasn't given her a moment alone." We both shared a knowing grin.

"I guess he's changing his tactics... wonder what gave him the idea to try that?" We both laughed. I felt a bit of my desolation shift to the background to go hang out with Tom.

"Well you'll most likely be out by tonight, so I'll take my leave. Wouldn't want to give Madam Pomfrey any further reason to keep you here." He came over to the bed and gave me as good a hug as he could manage with my half lying down. Before he pulled away I whispered my appreciation in his ear.

"Thank you for not telling Ron and thank you for not asking too many questions. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Everyone's got a right to keep things to themselves," he squeezed me extra tight as a response then left as suddenly as he came.

The good feelings that Harry's visit inspired got me through the next hour or so of Madam Pomfrey's mother hen-ing. Finally, against her plethora of wishes, she declared me healthy and discharged me from her ward (and just in time for dinner!) She gave me a clean set of my school robes, generously retrieved by a kindly house elf. Just as I finished getting changed, someone on the other side of my curtain cleared their throat to announce their arrival.

I pulled the curtain aside and decided that today was just my day for surprise visits. Standing not two feet away from my face was that wonderfully marvellous boy that Hermione quite possibly managed to snag, Stephen Claude. He flashed me his set of lustrously white, perfectly arranged teeth and I returned my own, albeit less glamorous. "Hi, Ginny, I see I came just in the nick of time!"

"Hey Stephen, yeah I've just been freed, I'm on my way to the Great Hall for some dinner." Although curious, I thought it tactless to ask why he was there. Since luck was just another of my surprise visitors today, he explained without any prompting.

"Hermione sent me up as a lookout to see how you're doing and to give you a list of everything they went over in your classes today. Just what you wanted, I'm sure," he smiled cheekily, but goodheartedly handing me a role of parchment. He obviously had no problems with Hermione's thoughtfulness towards academics. _Well, of course not! He's Head Boy and a Ravenclaw to boot! Nice thinking there, Ginny!_

"Oh yeah, definitely. I would hate to have a day off thinking of school."

"Oh, clearly! So how about I walk you down to dinner, that way you can have an alibi for your brother." Of course she would have told him, I could have expected that. And once again, a complete lack of judgement. Was this boy too good to be true, or what? _Hermione, as much as I want you as my sister-in-law, don't you dare let this boy get away from you! _We'd have to have a talk later, that's for sure.

"Alright, sounds quite fine to me!" I tried my best to leave as stealthily as possible, but Madam Pomfrey has the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a bat. She can see movement. The price to pay was a great big chunk of chocolate shoved into my mouth (just for precautionary measures). At last, I was free.

Stephen and I conversed quite comfortably as we made our way towards food. I decided this was the perfect opportunity to play detective. "So, how did you enjoy yourself on Halloween? Hard to believe it was only two nights ago!"

"Yeah, I know, it's crazy right? I had an amazing time though, I'm so glad Hermione finally agreed to come with me. I was stressing about it for weeks. I was really worried she was actually going to go with your brother, don't take that the wrong way or anything, I think he's a good enough chap and all, it's just I've never met anyone like her." _Screw Hermione, I want _him_ to be my sister-in-law! _I really needed to control myself, he was going to think I was mentally demented if I kept that grin on my face. "And then the Slytherin prank, I thought it was going to completely ruin her night, but well, as you saw I think she quite enjoyed herself," I had to laugh at the memory, it really was priceless. "What about you? You're date was Neville Longbottom, right?" Oh yeah, I forgot about that. _Sorry, Nev._

"Yeah, I did and it was a ton of fun. We actually just went as friends though, but no, I definitely enjoyed myself."

"Well that's good! So was that him in the Zorro outfit? I just vaguely remember Hermione telling me he was dressed as King Arthur to go with your Morgana of the Fairies," it was amazing how unaware he was at treading in dangerous territory.

"Um, no that wasn't him," all of a sudden I'd had enough of this conversation, but I wasn't going to be rude, it wasn't his fault. "Neville actually got asked to dance by the girl he originally wanted to go with, so I sort of forced him to accept because he was going to decline on account of me."

"Well that was really considerate of you," he replied appropriately.

"What are friends for, right?" I replied, laughing weakly.

"Exactly." _Okay, let it drop. Now. _"So who was that you ended up with? I swear I recognized the costume..."

"You know, I'm not too sure. He was wearing a mask and didn't tell me his name." Gosh, that even sounded feeble to my ears.

"Gosh, it's on the tip of my tongue, I'm sure I know who it was!" My heart rate could have given any hummingbird a run for its money. _Shutupshutupshutupplease! _"OH!" Okay, I just went into cardiac arrest. "That's it, one of the professors came to tell off my buddy Eddie Carmichael 'cause he was getting too close to Cho Chang. Yeah, I'm sure Professor Lupin was wearing that exact costume but that would be absurd because... well... because..." The look of horror on my face caused him to falter. His carefree smile slowly melted away into realization. "You and professor Lupin? Holy sh―

I swung around and pushed him to the wall, covering his mouth with my hand, looking around to make sure no one heard. "For the love of magic, would you _keep your voice down_!" I hissed. "There is nothing going on between him and I," I felt a stab of regret at how truthful those words were but I quickly brushed that aside "and I swear that if I hear otherwise I am going to hunt. You. Down. Understood?" He nodded fervently so I let go of his face and let him off the wall.

"My lips are sealed, madam!" An impish grin flickered on those aforementioned lips and it took my entire being to not let one of my own crack out.

We continued our walk in a heavy silence until finally decided to break it. "You're so lucky that you're my alibi..." Another long pause and he finally let out the snort of laughter he'd been holding in the whole time. Without meaning to, I was grinning like an idiot, but that didn't stop me from giving him a good jab in the side. Needless to say, it was a timely arrival to the Great Hall. God, I was famished.

**TBC**

Author's note: How much do you love me? Two chapters, TWO DAYS! Magic... that must be it... It was a short one though, so I won't get too carried away with self praise. Short, but mucho relevant later on, I don't think I've dropped enough hints yet to have people guess what's going to happen... but HO BOY is something ever going to happen! But anyways, for those of you who have authored stories on the site, you know I can see how many hits I get on each chapter! 44 hits and only 3 reviews? C'mon guys, that's weak! Show me what you're made of! Hit me up with a review and I'll maybe post another chapter by the end of the week if I think you're all worthy... I'm going to end this here because you know you're in trouble when you're author's note adds like... 200 words to your chapter haha. Some consider that cheating. Peace out, guys!


	19. Goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**PLEASE READ**: I added a little bit to the end of the last chapter, so a few probably read it before I changed it, so you might want to go back and take a look. Thanks guys! Hope you like this one :)

**Chapter Nineteen**

The term was coming to a fast approaching end: just over a week until students packed up their things and boarded the train home. I sometimes liked to imagine being able to push all fears and doubts aside and deceive myself into thinking everything was going to be alright. I liked the thought having a family willing to do the same just for a week or two, but it wasn't going to happen. I mean, I was spending Christmas holidays in the central headquarters of the Order. That kind of makes it hard to pretend there isn't a war coming up fast.

I walked down to breakfast with Hermione, not waiting for Ron or Harry. Her and Stephen had been dating for nearly a month and things had gotten all messed up from there. I guess Hermione figured it was her turn to show the world how happy she was. Now Ron, finally coming to terms with his feelings for her, could barely be in the same room he was so dejected. I couldn't really blame her, but he was still my brother and I hated to see him like that. Any time I tried to bring it up with Hermione, she wouldn't hear any of it and would change the subject right away. Well, I did have my own things to worry about. This morning I had double Defence Against the Dark Arts.

People who say that pain subsides over time are either dirty, rotten liars or the luckiest individuals who ever lived. Every time I saw him it felt like someone reaching into my chest and ripping my heart apart. Every time he looked towards me, there was no sense of recognition. The time was at an end where, out of everything he was to me, teacher came last. That's all he was now, that's all he wanted to be. Well, he did have his own things to worry about.

I took a seat near the back of the class, making absolutely sure not to be the first or the last one to enter. This was my only chance all week to really be near him and assess any physical signs of how he was doing. When he came in, I had to stifle a gasp.

"Good morning, class. I hope you've all had a good week," his voice sounded nearly as strained as his body looked. Eyes bloodshot, surrounded by dramatically dark circles that stood out on his ghostly white skin. Even his lips looked pale. I couldn't believe how much he'd changed for the worst since the last time I'd seen him.

I glanced around the class to see if anyone was concerned as I was, but apparently not. I guess they just figured he was feeling the full moon coming. I did a quick mental calculation to figure out that there was still nine days until the next one.

"Well, before we get started today I have some news I'd like to share with you all," _Oh my God, the full moon is next week! That must mean that_― "I'm not going to be here for classes next week. Something's come up at home that I have to deal with." Everyone in the class turned to their partners to start a conversation. A feeble smile touched his lips and he raised a hand to silence them. "Now don't get too excited, I've asked some of your other professors to fill in for me for my last few lessons so that you won't miss anything," a chorus of groans rang through the class. Once again he had to quiet them down. "Now don't any of you worry," for the first time in over two months he looked directly into my eyes and I felt the connection between us flare back into life, "I'll be back before the start of next term."Why did that feel like such a lie? Why did it feel like once he left, he would never be coming back? Why was I the only one who cared?

He broke the first form of contact we'd had since November and continued on with the lesson as if he didn't even believed what he'd said. I didn't take my eyes off him for the entire two periods. After awhile I didn't even notice his façade, I just saw what he was trying to hide underneath. He was a complete mess: nervous, afraid and drained. It was a test on his endurance just to keep focused on the lesson. How the hell was he going to get through his task if he was already so close to breaking?

Class was dismissed and my mind was made up. I had to talk to him. I quickly shoved my text and notes in my bag and looked up to find he'd already gone. I muttered a curse or two under my breath and made my way out of class for the lunch break. I decided quickly to avoid the Great Hall, for once begrudging Hermione her happiness with Stephen. I made my way to the library, but when I got there, I was too preoccupied to even think about thinking about school. I wandered around aimlessly for a while until I decided to head to the common room which was my default location when I didn't know where I wanted to go. At least it would be an empty place for me to gather my thoughts as most normal people would be eating their lunch. _Nice try, Ginny._

I hadn't even been sitting for more than five minutes when the portrait hole opened and in came Hermione.

"Ginny, there you are! I've been looking for you," she explained while coming over to sit with me.

"Well, you found me," I replied, forcing the displeasure out of my voice. "What's up?"

"There's something I need to talk to you about." Funny how that happens. I've needed someone to talk to for five years...

"Okay, shoot."

"It's about Stephen," she began, hesitantly.

"Oh really? Because I thought it might be about my brother, someone you used to call one of your best friends." The look on her face told me that I'd accidentally said what I'd been thinking out loud. _Damn._ I guess I was just growing fed up with peoples' problems when just beyond their sight were real, future deciding ones. "Look I'm sorry, Ron was a total prat to you, I know, but that's his nature. He doesn't know how to handle feelings like the one's he's got for you. All I'm saying is cut the boy some slack and remember that he _is _still the same boy you've been best friends with since you were eleven." Finally she nodded to show me that she'd think about it and in a matter of seconds she was in tears.

"I think I'm going to break up with Stephen!" I tried to rearrange my features into less of a stunned expression, but I was thrown very much off guard.

"Why? What happened?"

"I-I don't t-think it's me he's i-i-interested in," she sputtered out, taking a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. I didn't know what to say because to me, the boy was completely besotted with her and I couldn't imagine how she could possibly see otherwise.

"Hermione, what are you talking about?"

She took a few hiccup like breaths then finally continued. "Ginny, I think he likes _you!" What the fuck! _I felt a powerful mixture of absolute lack of understand, annoyance and quite a bit of amusement.

"Hermione, again, what the hell are you talking about?"It seemed that talking about it was getting her to calm down, unfortunately, that wasn't working for me. "Please, that's absolutely ridiculous. Do you know how many times he's told me how much you mean to him? How he's never met a girl like you? It's almost sickening!" I gave her a warm smile to let her know how confident I was in my belief. "Stephen has fallen head over heels for you and he's as sappy as those men in all those muggle movies about relationships."

She gave a small laugh then finally responded and explained things, "It's just, he's always bringing you up, and wanting me to ask you to come spend time with us," _Well I'm sure glad you didn't listen to him... I would really hate to be invited anywhere... ugh. _"I think he knows more about you from me than he knows about me!" Okay, that's a bit weird...

"Hermione, darling! You do know that you can _change the subject _when he's talking about me, right? We both know you're quite adept at that," I gave her a knowing smirk, "but you do realize that he's almost certainly just bringing me up because he wants you to feel like your friends are his or some such nonsense! Boys do stupid things when they're in love."

I'd never seen Hermione blush such a deep shade of red, "Ginny! He doesn't love me!"

I had to laugh. "Well then, he's putting on a good show of it, girl!" Finally, Hermione wiped off the few remaining tears and gave me a real smile.

"I'm sorry, Ginny. I know I'm being ridiculous, this whole relationship thing is tough, the more scared I am of messing up, the more I start acting like an idiot!"

"Well, that about sums up most relationships, so I guess you're doing something right," I squeezed her knee reassuringly.

"Thank you," she offered, beaming. "Want to go down and get some lunch? I didn't have much of a breakfast as I've been freaking out too much."

"No, that's alright, you go on ahead. I was thinking of having a nap before class." With that, she left. No 'how are you, Ginny?' or a 'how's your day been going?' Doesn't matter, I suppose. It's not like I would have told her the truth anyways. Oh well.

Nine hours later and I found myself sitting back in that exact same spot. Herbology and Transfiguration passed as a blur. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't think of anything else but my worry for Remus. I had a quick bite to eat for dinner then returned to the common room where I finally made another of my brilliant decisions. I grabbed a bottle of ink and a quill and went to work on the letter I was going to send Remus. All the things I'd been wanting to say to him came rushing forth from my mind, but as soon as I got quill to parchment they sank back down below the surface. I couldn't do it. Some things just weren't meant to be read. After battling with myself for nearly two hours, I threw my crap into my bag and went to do what I'd been meaning to do for months; I had to talk to him and this might possibly be the last chance I'd ever get.

I went up to my dorm room, changed out of my school robes and threw on a pair of faded jeans with a patched and patched again sweater of Bill's. I allowed myself only a glance in the mirror because I wasn't going for me, it didn't matter what I looked like. I brushed out my hair, leaving it down. _Time to get your butt moving, Ginny._

The walk there felt close to an eternity. More than once I had to pause myself and reaffirm my resolve. It took a good five minutes staring at his door before I could knock. I rapped on the door firmly. If nothing else, at least my knock would seem confident.

He didn't come to the door, instead a muffled voice from within called out, "come in."

I lifted the handle and slowly pushed the door open. "Hello?" I asked the empty office. I looked around, noticing the disarray, then closed the door behind me. Books and parchment were in unorganized piles, strewn over his desk. A case of filled vials rested next to an empty cauldron.

"Hello?" Again, no answer. I treaded softly across the room to the only other door. It was open a crack and I could hear movement coming from there. I knocked again. All sounds inside stopped when the door swung open and I was enveloped in a swirl of familiarity.

"Ginevra?" he didn't seem nearly as surprised to see me as I'd thought he'd be. In fact, he actually managed a smile. "I guess I should have been expecting you."

"I'm sorry, I should have owled first; I just didn't...um..." How was I supposed to explain it?

"Know what to say?" he asked kindly. I noticed how he seemed unusually calm considering his situation. Much more so than he'd been this morning. "Would you like some tea?" I was temporarily thrown off guard, the conversation kept taking unexpected turns.

"Oh... yes, please." I replied, trying to get my footing back. I looked passed him into his room and saw an open travelling case full of folded clothes. The doors to his wardrobe were open, showing a bar full of empty hangers.

He shuffled passed me and walked around to where his cauldron was resting. After replacing it with a kettle, he lit the flame underneath with his wand then turned back to me. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

"Your bags are almost packed... you in some kind of hurry to get out of here? I thought―at the earliest―you were going to leave when the week was out,"

"Severus only knows where Fenrir's camped out now, if they move this weekend, it will be near impossible for me to track them down. I've got to leave as soon as possible. Tomorrow morning at the latest." Inside I was bawling like an infant, but I managed to mirror his stoic expression on the outside. We stared each other down for a good, long pause before he broke it. "Merlin, Ginevra. I'm sorrier than you could ever imagine," he breathed deeply in and out a few times before continuing. "I don't know what you've been going through these past few months, and for that I apologize. I let my emotions get the better of me and so I wasn't there for you when you most likely needed someone to be." I waited patiently for a beat to make sure he was finished.

"It's been a while since you've let someone actually care for you, isn't it?" I stopped for a moment so he could take in what I was saying. "Of all the times in my life when I have needed someone to be 'there for me', this is not one of them. I came tonight to be here for _you. _I have never been as scared for somebody as I am right now for you. So you can just cut the act of pretending like you're alright."

I watched his phoney resolve crumble in front of my eyes. I could have sworn my heart was bleeding for him.

"I keep asking myself, why me? Out of all of them, how is it me who's left? They were all so strong and vivacious, filled with a sort of light. I never had any of that, you know?" his vulnerability at that moment nearly tightened my throat shut with emotion. Something inside this man was broken and the part of me that was too, couldn't help but be drawn in. I think now I understood why I'd been so pulled to him at the beginning, why I felt like he was the only one who could make sense of any of the mess in my head.

"Remus John Lupin, you _are_ strong. It's because of that strength that's kept you here and you need to keep sight of it because you've got one hell of a trial before you," _and you had better goddamn make it out alive. _

"I wish you could have met her. Lily, I mean," his eyes grew teary with the memories. "God, I miss them so much. Sometimes the weight of it all… it just… it would be so much easier to give up and stop the fighting. Then maybe we'd all meet again in whatever place they're in now," he smiled wistfully.

"Yeah, and when you got there, Sirius would take the mickey out on you for all of eternity and beyond." He let out a soft chortle and I knew I'd broken through his gloomy thoughts for a moment, at least. "If I told you that you needed to get some sleep, would you consider that as being the truth? It looks like you've been missing out on a few hours here or there..."

"I haven't been able to. Maybe an hour or two here each night, but it's always the same," the little sparkle of life left his eyes and he looked as if his body were going to give up on him.

"What if I stayed with you while you slept? It's helped me in the past," I offered, hoping he'd submit without argument.

"Ginevra, I can't..." he started feebly, but I didn't need to hear any more.

"Whether you're awake or not, I'm saying here. I'm not leaving you alone tonight. You are not alone."

...

After our teas had been drunk and I'd been given a pair of sweatpants to wear, I found myself lying back to back with him in his bed. The room was shrouded in an absolute darkness once all the candles had been extinguished. The only sound to be heard was each others' breathing. After a long period of unbroken silence, Remus shifted around and turned onto his other side; a new silence continued. I listened to his breathing until finally it began to slow and regulate. Satisfied, I turned onto my other side so as to face him, then I found his hand with mine and laced my fingers between his. He may have been awake or he may have finally fallen asleep, but all I know is he tightened his fingers around mine.

I was asleep in minutes.

...

A portion of consciousness flooded back into my body. The room was still dark, but shadows were visible through my unopened eyelids. Remus' hand was still in mine, but he was no longer lying beside me. My mind was too groggy to process any information.

"If only things had been different..." he whispered above me.

I tried to crack open my eyes to see him. "Remus...?" I breathed out, confused.

"Shhh, go back to sleep, it's not yet morning." I felt a hand stroking my hair and my eyelids fell back down. The last thing I was aware of was the feeling of his lips against my forehead and a soft whisper of goodbye.

**TBC**

Author's note: Ugh, that took a whole lot of effort to write for some reason! Talk about like the maddest writer's block! Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it and aren't tearing your hair out with worry for the poor man. The ball's just started to role! Still lots left for these two to do :) I guess that's that! Thanks again to those who dropped some reviews on the last two chapters, keep it up! I'm hoping to finish this story before December, so all the encouragement is very much welcome! Talk to you soon :).


	20. Beginning

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Twenty**

Something deep in my subconscious jolted me awake. _Something's wrong. _

At first I was alarmed by not being in my own bed. The grogginess took a moment to melt away but then it came back to me. Second, I was alarmed by not having a body next to mine.

I sat upright and took in the rest of the room. I didn't bother calling his name. I knew he wouldn't answer; all his bags were gone. I had the distinct feeling of being alone. Distinct and familiar... All that was left was a lingering scent on his blankets and pillows. I hugged a pillow, closing my eyes and breathing in, briefly trying to trick my mind into thinking he hadn't left. Finding no comfort in this, I pulled my knees into my chest and let the dam of grief wash over me. It came over me in waves, weighing down my body until I felt made of lead. The weight was so great that not even a tear could escape, not even a sob. _I didn't even say goodbye._

At last, I mustered up the will to swing my legs over the side of the bed. Another pang of grief struck me when I remembered that I was wearing his clothes from the night before. I almost stood up, but something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention: a simple envelope on the bedside table. I picked it up carefully and examined the name written on the back, '_Ginevra Weasley'. _My heart began to flutter from nervousness. _He left me a letter... _I couldn't even begin to imagine what it could possibly say. _That's why you open it, Ginny. _I couldn't; I was too scared. Wouldn't it just make his absence hurt all the more? I could barely handle what was already on my plate, let alone adding more. So, instead of being reasonable, I slide the envelope into my sweater pocket and didn't let it leave my person for the next eight days (save for sleeping, when I put it under my pillow).

...

There I sat, alone in a compartment on the train. My face resting against the cold glass, watching the snow covered landscape pass by. Watching my breath cloud the glass on every exhale. Having nothing else to distract me, my thoughts drifted off to the previous eight days of my life. They passed by more slowly than I could ever have believed possible. I went to all my classes and finished all my homework, but otherwise made myself scarce. I refused to spend any more time in the library or even eat my meals in the Great Hall. I couldn't bear being in the company of other people. The rest of the school was disturbingly in high spirits and illogically optimistic. _God only knows why... _Even people around me like Ron and Hermione, who knew just how serious Voldemort's powers were becoming, cared more about their own personal dramas then the future of the wizarding world. Much to my self-loathing, I felt a certain jealousy at their ability to just let it all fall to the background. Of course, that just made me want to be with them even less.

Life reverted back to how it had been for the past five years of my school life: lonely and quiet. Not even Tom had anything to say... not that I wanted to talk to him. _Remus, where are you? _I thought for maybe the fiftieth time that morning. The ache in my chest grew stronger and stronger until I could barely handle the pain. I needed a part of him with me before I succumbed to absolute misery.

I pulled the very worn envelop out of my pocket and clenched it tight at the edges. I turned it over and glared at the wax seal. I knew that this was the moment I'd been waiting for. My fingers slowly inched across the parchment. My finger nails rested next to the seal, slowly pushing under, slowly pulling the wax away from the parchment. My heart nearly burst out of my chest from overload of anticipation. _I should have done this sooner... Merlin, I'm such a coward. _I pulled the wax off and stared at the now open envelop, hands trembling.

Before I had another moment to open the letter and _finally_ read what was inside, fate intervened. I could have screamed. The door to my compartment opened, leaving only enough time for me to shove the letter back into my pocket. "There you are, Ginny!" I looked up to see Stephen closing the door and pulling down the curtain. "I'm glad I found you alone, I'm freaking out a little." _No kidding, did he ever seem on edge, or what?_

"What's up?" I asked, throwing a mask of calm over my features, trying with all my might not to let my irritation show through. _Of course I don't get to read it after finally deciding to_. He came and sat down on my side of the compartment and pulled out a fancy little box. Lucky it was too big for a ring because I almost flipped. No surprise that he wanted to talk to me about Hermione.

"You know how I'm spending the holidays in France with my grandparents and couldn't see Hermione over the next two weeks?" I nodded, remembering the long hour of complaining I had to hear from Hermione over this. "Well, I wanted to get her something extra special for Christmas and I'm going to give it to her before the train arrives at the station..."

"But you don't know if she'll like it?" I finished, exasperated. Why don't boys ever learn? Girls will like almost anything so long as you've put thought into it. He looked so worried though, that I felt a little sorry for him. "Show me and I'll tell you," I restrained myself from rolling my eyes.

His face cracked into another of his Gilderoy Lockhart shaming smiles and he opened the box to show me a dazzling bracelet. My jaw dropped a little, it was simply stunning. "Oh hell, I knew it was too much!" He said, his face dropping.

"Are you kidding me? It's beautiful!" I gushed a little, I won't lie.

"Are you sure? I mean, I don't know if it's something that would look ridiculous on her wrist," he looked up at me pleadingly. "Ginny, could I please try it on you just to see what it looks like?"

How could I resist those puppy dog eyes? I could have sworn I saw something else gleaming within them, but I must have imagined it. So although I did feel a little upset that I was just the guinea pig for him to lavish beautiful jewellery on Hermione... sacrifices must be made in friendship. I held out my arm for him.

He undid the clasps and as if in slow motion he brought the silver band to my wrist and went to fasten it. Something changed in his face. His grin turned into a sort of triumphant leer while the happy sparkle in his eye changed to what I noticed moments earlier, a gleam of malice. I felt a surge of fear rush through me. _Something's very wrong. _ I tried to pull my arm away but he clenched it tight. I let out a yelp of pain. "Stephen―

I felt a sickening pull just behind my navel and everything went dark.

The bracelet was a fucking portkey. 

**TBC**

Author's note: Well, sorry for the long delay, University is quite a busy place actually! Anyways, I know this is like the shortest chapter ever, which is why I feel like a big ol' jerk when you've waited so long and that's all you get... but at least you know shits going to get real exciting, real soon! Anyways, hopefully you enjoy that little cliff-hanger and that you weren't expecting it! Poor Hermione... it looks like Stephen wasn't so nice after all :( Hopefully the next chapter will be up in less time and hopefully it will be substantially longer. Peace out guys, reviews are extremely appreciated! Love, me!


	21. Trapped

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Twenty-One**

I hit the ground with a bruising thud. The painful grip on my arm jerked me up to a standing position, twisting it at an awkward angle. I cried out in pain. My eyes finally adjusted to the shift from the lit compartment to... _a forest_? I only managed to glimpse a number of trees in front of me before a dark material was pulled over my face. Hands felt all over my body and my eyes teared up imaging what they were going to do to me. They found my wand in my back pocket and removed it. That's what they were looking for. I breathed in to let loose a terrified scream, but before I had any chance another hand latched onto mine and then we were apparating.

I managed to stay on my feet the next time they came down on solid ground, but just barely. I was viciously pulled forward to walk. I tried to pull away from my capture, but he nearly crushed my wrist with his own hand. I let out another shrill whimper.

"Shut up," came the emotionless voice of the man leading me. It was deep and indifferent. Not Stephen. _Stephen... _my mind wasn't ready to fully comprehend the betrayal. In all my wildest dreams he'd never been the contact Voldemort was using. I bit my lip until it bled to stop myself from crying out as I was pulled along faster.

There was nothing to distinguish where we were. No sounds other than my own erratic breathing and the sound of our feet against gravel, maybe. It was cold, possibly outside? For some reason I thought of dad then. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright. But I knew it wasn't going to be.

I let out a surprised gasp as my foot stepped out into thin air, then dropped farther than where the ground should have been, causing my ankle to roll unpleasantly. I stumbled forwards, kept upright only by the man's hand. "Stairs," he explained, uncaring that I now stepped with a limp. We walked down maybe twenty or so, before we reached either a landing or the bottom (I couldn't tell yet), then we stopped.

I felt his body shift then heard three loud knocks against a solid, wooden surface. What I correctly assumed as a door opened and I could see light through the material covering my vision.

"Is this her, then?" an oily voice asked from the doorway.

"Obviously," was the only reply. I could do nothing but stay still, stay silent and listen. For some reason I didn't find this very difficult. I was strangely subdued, probably due to shock. Somehow it all felt as if it weren't happening to me, that I was simply watching from afar. But not for long.

"Well then bring her in," the new man replied impatiently.

My arm was released and I felt pins and needles in my hand as blood rushed back into it. A hand on my back pushed me forwards and my hands reached out reflexively in case I fell. The door was shut behind me.

"Dolohov, you were _supposed to bind her!_ What if she'd gotten away?" _Dolohov. _I jerked my head in the direction I knew him to be, trying in vain to see him through the dark material. I'd actually met the man before, if you could call it _meeting. _He was one of the men at the Department of Mysteries last summer. He'd been the one to almost kill Hermione.

The reality of the situation came and hit me full force in the face: I'd been kidnapped by Death Eaters. I felt nauseous, nearly to the point of fainting. _I'm going to die._

"Well Gibbon, as you're staring right at the girl, I don't see what your problem is, bound or not," Dolohov countered coldly. "Though if it will get you to shut your mouth, _Incarcerus!"_

A rope appeared from nowhere, binding my wrists tightly.

"Have you got her wand?" Gibbon asked, slightly deflated.

"Yes, here. Take it. I'm certain Malfoy will want to give it to the Dark Lord."

I will be the first to admit that this was not the appropriate time for my Weasley temper to flare up... but how often does it listen to reason? All I could think about was Lucius Malfoy handing that disfigured monster my faithful wand.

"Don't you fucking _dare_, you worthless servants." I hissed, although the effect was definitely dampened by a goddamn black bag over my head.

You could hear a pin drop.

"What did you just say to us, little girl?" Gibbon asked menacingly.

"I swear on your mothers' graves that by the end of all this, you will be jealous of the punishment Voldemort gave Rodolphus. I'll make sure you'll be missing more than a hand." Now, as intimidating as a teenage school girl who's tied up without her wand is next to two grown wizards who have most likely killed and tortured more people than I ever, _ever _wanted to think about... my comment had the desired effect.

"How in the name of Hades did she know about that?" Gibbon asked, this time nervously.

"I'd actually be quite interested in knowing that as well." Although severely more adept at masking his emotions than the other one, I didn't need to see him to tell he was shaken.

"Has someone been whispering secrets when they ought not?" I do realize that I was playing a dangerous game pushing the buttons of dangerous men, but I had remembered Tom's insistence that Voldemort wanted us for his own purposes. His lapdogs would be too frightened of his wrath to murder me without his go-ahead. _You know your life has taken a turn for the worse when that's the most reassuring thought in your mind._

I steeled myself for whatever reaction my insinuation might inspire. They might not kill me, but unfortunately one's body can sustain a whole lot of damage before calling it quits. This is why I didn't overreact when a hand reached out, grabbed me by the throat and shoved my head forcefully against a hard as stone wall.

"Whose been telling _you _secrets, little girl?" Dolohov whispered icily into my ear.

I did my best to sound confident as his fingers tightened around my windpipe and a growing throb in the back of my skull. "It was a little bird... I don't quite remember its name, but perhaps you'd know who I'm thinking of, _Antonin," _I added, mentally congratulating myself for having remembered his first name from the article last January of the mass escape from Azkaban. His grip tightened. Here was another test for my memory, "It could have been Malfoy, but then again, maybe Rockwood. Nott, perhaps. What about Crabbe or Goyle? It's true though, I suppose they don't seem quite intelligent enough? Do any of those names sound familiar? Not yet? Well it may actually have been brother Lestrange, not the handless one... though of course, losing one's hand would be cause for a little bitterness, perhaps some vengeance. What of dear wife, Bellatrix? I can only imagine how someone so loving and loyal as her would have felt after her master's treatment of her one and only beloved," I finished, having run out of names of known Death Eaters... or at least, one's who were still alive.

"_You've forgotten Avery and Mulciber ," _I nearly jumped as Tom's voice rang out in my head for the first time in months, something I had definitely not prepared myself for. "_Oh, and Yaxley." _

Having been so _un_prepared for his involvement, and so livid at his amusement over the whole situation, I flat out told him to shut the fuck up. _Out loud._

"I didn't say anything, you disgusting blood-traitor." Dolohov replied, growing more irritated with every passing moment.

"I think you've bashed her head a little too hard, you've made her go loopy." Gibbon added, finding the situation more amusing than perhaps appropriate.

I could feel Dolohov turn his head to say something to Gibbon, and as soon as I felt his grip loosen from my throat, I did something I swore I would never do to another person unless in a situation as dire as this. I brought my knee savagely up to his groin. He lurched forwards, air completely shot from his lungs. Before he even had a moments chance to recover, I brought my head slamming into his and pushed him with my tied hands back as hard as I could causing him to fall over backwards.

So full of adrenalin, my now pulsating head was the least of my worries. I dropped down to the ground as quick as I could, dodging the curse I'd expected from Gibbon. I ripped off the bloody thing on my head and dove towards the wand sticking out of Dolohov's robes, though unfortunately for me, it wasn't mine. I grabbed a hold of it, then relying entirely on my Chaser reflexes, I rolled away from Dolohov's reach and Gibbon's second curse.

As I rolled onto my back, I raised the newly acquired wand and pointed it at the short, weasel-like form of Gibbon and shouted "_Stupefy!" _and a bolt of red light hit him in the chest sending him flying into the stone wall. Using someone else's wand can often be less effective than your own, so I had no way of knowing if my spell or the wall was the cause for his unconsciousness (not that I particularly cared). Dolohov made to get up. Though with much difficulty as he'd still not recovered from the damage he'd sustained, I gave him a decisively unmerciful kick to the face, rendering him unconscious as well. I cursed and hopped around for a moment because in my excitement, I kicked him with the foot attached to my sore ankle and I think I may have sprained it.

Pushing the pain out of my thoughts and after using Dolohov's wand to spell off the ropes binding my hands, I retrieved my own from Gibbon as well as _his_ own. Putting theirs in my pocket, and holding only mine, I gave one last look around. I was in a stone passageway, lit by torches. In one direction, the passage continued for some time before ending in a large, seemingly dense wooden door while in the other direction was a staircase leading up. Both seemed exceedingly ominous, so I turned and made to escape the way I'd been brought in. I'd go up the stairs on the other side of the door, travel for what felt like maybe a kilometre and when I reached what I assumed was the apparition field, I'd do just that.

I stepped over Dolohov's still body to get to the door. My heart almost fell through the floor when I got there though because nowhere on this door was there a handle. I used my wand but not spell or jinx could make it budge. Nerves pretty much shot at this point, something inside me broke. I beat against the door caring nothing for my poor fists as I pleaded to any sort of deity for their saving grace.

The only response I got was Tom's laughter at my submission into hysterics. And that's how I let him approach from behind me without my notice.

"Unfortunately my dear, as it so happens, you need one of these to open that door," I whipped around, furious with myself for not being more careful. The man was tapping the tip of his wand against the livid black mark on his arm, smiling ever so deranged. I supposed it ran in the family, because although I'd never seen this man before in my life, his close resemblance to the man in my vision after Halloween left no doubt in my mind as to his identity. He was Rabastan Lestrange.

I raised my arm to send a hex, but he was clearly the more experienced dualist. "_Expelliarmus!" _My wand flew out of my hand of its own accord and into his outstretched one, along with the two wands from my pocket. I was once again defenceless.

"Tsk, tsk, Weasley. I'd expect such manners from a mudblood, but certainly not someone with lineage such as yours. Although the Weasley line has been a disappointment long before the mixing of the blood." He was clearly enjoying himself.

"How's your brother?" I sneered, enjoying wiping the smug look off his face, "I hear he had himself an accident." His buttons were apparently much easier to push then Dolohov's.

His stunner knocked me out before I even hit the floor.

**TBC**

Author's note: Well that was pretty fun to write, I always like to see Ginny kick some ass. Sorry this took a bit longer than I intended to get out for you guys, but for some random reason I started editing the story from chapter one just so that it's better, more cohesive and I'll be able to better flush out certain plot lines that maybe weren't foreshadowed appropriately ! Once I've finished writing the story I'll repost all the chapters at the same time for the final, final copy! Anyways, glad to see you guys are still sticking with me, I hope you'll be hearing from me again in the next coming weeks!


	22. Transformation

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

My head felt as if I'd been hit by a Bludger. _That's what happens when you forcefully connect it with someone else's. _Oh yeah...

I'd regained consciousness in a small, cold, stone room with my arms retied securely behind my back. The little chamber was incredibly dark except for the torchlight that managed to get through the small grate near the top of the door and the miniature barred window, too high for me to see out of. My shoes had been taken away, most likely so I would have even more difficulties escaping... or kicking anyone else in the face. _Because I'm real sure that after last time they'll let either of those things happen again, _I thought miserably.

I had no way of knowing how long I'd been out for, but judging from the very minimal light coming in from that useless window, I suspected it had been hours and had a feeling it was less than a day. That meant the train would have reached Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. _They must know I'm gone by now. _I tried hard to picture each of their distressed faces as they discovered my disappearance: Ron, Mum, Dad... they would have had to be accompanied by more than one extra Order member as Harry was coming to stay at Grimmauld place with us, so at least the alert would be sounded quickly. Then I thought of Hermione.

A memory floated up to the surface of my brain.

_"I think I'm going to break up with Stephen!" _

_"Why? What happened?"_

_"I-I don't t-think it's me he's i-i-interested in," _

_"Hermione, what are you talking about?"_

_"Ginny, I think he likes __you!"_

_"Hermione, again, what the hell are you talking about?"_

_"It's just, he's always bringing you up, and wanting me to ask you to come spend time with us. I think he knows more about you from me than he knows about me!" _

Why the hell didn't that set off alarm bells in my mind? I couldn't even think straight for the next few minutes as I was overcome with a white hot rage for Stephen Claude. Not only was the smarmy bastard a Death Eater follower, not only did he abduct me and set this all in motion, but he used Hermione without a single care, manipulating her to get to me. That was just _unacceptable_. I was going to make the git pay.

With that thought, my rage deflated. _Who am I kidding? I'm wandless, shoeless and hopeless. I haven't even the slightest idea of where I am. How the bloody hell are they going to find me? They won't even be able to connect this to that betraying piece of filth because I'm certain he had another portkey that would have taken him straight back to the Hogwarts Express, keeping his cover so magnificently. _I felt a flush of shame at how easy I must have made it. _If you hadn't been such a loner, maybe this never would have happened. _

I couldn't help but wallow in illogical self-blame as I went over every different way I could have avoided this situation. But even as such, I had to admit that this was well done. Organized. Time had been put into it. _You're not making yourself feel any better you know... _Damn.

The next few hours crawled along. I was too paranoid, not to mention uncomfortable to try sleeping. My body ached everywhere from being stunned. My headache only grew worse and my shoulders were stiff from having them pulled back behind me. I discovered that my ankle wasn't too fond of having any weight put on it and the rest of me was cold and sore on the unmercifully hard ground. I curled up in one of the corners farthest away from the door and tried to wrap my robes around my whole body for warmth.

My senses were on high alert when I heard the sound of a door opening from farther away. I used the wall as a support so that I could get up and look out the little door window. I saw two men (one short, one tall) dragging along another, shirtless, shoeless and clearly abused prisoner by his underarms. He seemed not altogether conscious but managed to utter a few groans of pain. I couldn't see his face, but his hair was absolutely filthy and I shuddered when they got close enough for me to see that some of it wasn't filth, but dried blood. _Is this what's going to happen to me? _In comparison, my treatment so far seemed quite hospitable.

I backed away from the door as they drew closer, hoping dearly that their attentions would remain off of me. No such luck. The taller of the two pressed his face against the door with a deranged grin. "Anyone home?" he chuckled brainlessly.

"Visitor for Virginia Weasley, are you busy?" the short one asked mockingly. They both stopped and laughed for a moment, amused at their own wits.

"It's Ginevra, you idiots," I snarled, hating them down to my very core.

"I think that's a 'no', Mulciber," the tall one replied, tittering with lunacy. One of them unlocked the door, giving me only a second's warning to move back as they opened it and threw the injured man inside. The door was shut and locked again in seconds. The short one, Mulciber, had to step on his tiptoes to leer into my cell.

"Have a goodnight," he chortled in a disgusting singsong voice before leaving. Their laughter echoed down the hall as they walked away.

The new occupant of the cell still hadn't moved and I thought maybe the fall to the ground had rendered him unconscious. I would possibly have thought him dead if I couldn't see his breathing. The bruises and variety of cuts (some maybe days old, others just barely stopped bleeding) stood out garishly against the near white of his skin. I took a step closer, not sure what I would even do as my hands were not in prime position for helping. _Maybe I can turn him onto his back; that would probably be better for breathing... and his poor face. _I got just close enough to reach out and touch him with one of my feet but jumped back and nearly screamed from surprise as he moaned again in pain and started to move. I backed away as far as the room would let me: not even five full steps. As much as I wanted to help him, he could be friend _or _foe... I'd recently been learning that lesson the hard way.

The man weakly used his hands and arms to push himself off the ground, then started to laboriously bring his legs underneath him to stand.

I decided now would be the best time to bring myself to his attention. "Hi, um, hello," I paused nervously, "I could come over there and... help you, so long as you promise not to kill me... okay?" Sounded reasonable to me.

"Ginevra?" a raspy voice whispered and the entire rest of the world just fell away. The man looked up at me for the first time, allowing me to see his face. It was unrecognizable. Like his back, bruises marred nearly every surface. A cut above the right brow still bled into the swollen right eye. The eyes were still the same, glowing furiously in the poor lighting. Everything rushed back in a violent wave.

"_Remus!_" I cried, voice cracking I was so overflowed with emotion. Tears already streamed down my face as I limped over and he caught me, bringing me to him. He had my arms untied in mere moments and as my arms were released, I held onto him as hard as I dared, not caring about the blood that got on my face, in my hair, on my hands. I didn't care about anything except holding onto him for dear life.

We both stayed in that position, half sitting, half kneeling, sobbing in each others' arms. _Everything's going to be alright..._

As I managed to cry softer and quieter, I realized he was whispering snippets of his thoughts. Then I realized, that though my cries were of joy at our reunion, his were of distress.

"No, no, no! _Why?_" he murmured. His sobs weren't subsiding, and although I didn't understand what was happening in his mind, I tried to sooth him for both ours sakes.

"Shhh," I whispered, stroking his hair in an oddly maternal way. "It's alright, everything's going to be alright. I'm here..." I didn't quite know how to provide any proof to things being alright, as they so obviously weren't, but...

He pulled back from me without warning, sobs cut off immediately. He held my face in his hands and stared me unnervingly in the eye, tears still wet upon his cheeks. "Ginevra, do you know what time it is?" he asked in an ill-omened seriousness.

I was so taken aback by this seemingly random question that I barely managed to stammer out a "no."

"Why?" I asked, fearing the response. He didn't make to answer, his only change was a new onset of tears. I couldn't help notice how unnaturally bright his eyes were after crying. _Unnatural._

Then it hit me like a brick wall.

_Oh._

_ Holy._

_ Zeus._

My head snapped in the direction of the window. The sun had already set.

I whipped back around and his own eyes mirrored my horror. _How could I have forgotten?_

"Ginevra, listen to me," I couldn't seem to catch my breath, I was going to faint. My eyes started flickering around the room, but he grabbed a hold of my face again and brought my focus back to his. "Ginevra, you've got to listen to me, the moon is going to rise in any second, before I transform I need you to―" his voice caught in his throat, and he gave a small convulsion. I looked up to the window, and a soft white light now shone through. _Not now, please not now!_ "I need you to―" he let go of my face and gave one final convulsion and instead of words a choked snarl came out.

In a mad panic, I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him back to face me. "'You need me to' _what_!" I screamed, shaking him harshly, _what the bloody hell was I supposed to do! _But when he looked into my eyes, they weren't his anymore. Instead of the pale blue, they were light amber-brown, they were the eyes of a wolf. I was caught off guard when he gave me a good hard shove to get me away from him and I fell back into the corner and watched on with a paralyzed terror.

His spine elongated, stretching his back straight and his face pointed towards the ceiling. Bones seemed to shift, stretch and compress underneath the skin, producing the most sickening and painful noises and images. His hair seemed to originate out from his head and travel in a wave down his whole body. His top half lurched forwards, hands on the ground, although now they were covered in hair―fur― and his fingers shortened into round digits with increasingly sharp nails. His bottom half, having been supported by his knees merely seconds ago, now shrank and contorted into hind legs and paws. His face, now covered in fur contorted in unimaginable pain as his jaw and nose extended excruciatingly from his face.

In less than a minute Remus was gone, the transformation was complete.

He stood still as a statue for the most terrifying moment then he turned his wolf head towards me and looked me in the eye. It felt for a moment as if there was human intelligence in control.

"Remus?" I breathed close to a whimper, trying not to startle. All hope I'd ever had in my entire life was whisked out of me as he bared his newly sharpened teeth in a snarl, then raised his head to the window and let loose the most blood freezing howl. That's when I finally understood it was over. _I'm fucked._

While simultaneously, inside my head, Tom Riddle was thinking the exact same thing.

**TBC**

Author's note: even I must admit, that's a BRUTAL cliff hanger. First off, I'd just like to say that I think how they did Remus as a werewolf in the third movie looked ridiculous! Absolutely horrid... but that's just me and I'm all for werewolves looking like actual wolves just more big and bad haha it's going to kill me to say this, but the way the werewolves are in Twilight... but less Twilight-y. Okay, well, on that note, let me welcome back our favourite wolfman, Mister, or should I say Professor Lupin! I missed him, a lot. I feel a bit bad because I sort of used what they did in the movie except instead of Sirius thinking he might still be in control... it was Ginny. Oh well, I've got a disclaimer slapped up there on top so I can steal whatever I want. Hope you guys enjoyed this one and are wondering terribly how the f-bomb she's going to get out of this one. I've actually got three different ways it could happen, but I'm trying to decide which one is the most awesome :) But that's that, and this is a really long author's note so if you're still reading this you should go do something much more enjoyable, such as reviewing!

**Jabberwocky92**: Ginny's 16 years old until the random date I gave her birthday... I forget when but sometime in January... even though J.K. Rowling says that it's actually August 11 but I didn't know that until I started writing. And so that makes Ginny in her sixth year, so if you can see the big mess up I've made in the story, which I only dumbly realized until it was tooo late, I'll hope you forgive me for just running with it hahahaha. I'm actually super super surprised no one's commented on it yet, as it's been driving me nutzo.

**TemperedRose: **You'll hear more about the letter in a while :) Might not get to read it, but you'll hear about it ! Bahahaha. 


	23. Bargain

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

The canine form of the man I'd quite possibly fallen in love with, advanced upon me. My breathing hitched. My whole body trembled. I couldn't tear my eyes off of his. _Merlin, this is it. Even if he doesn't maul me to death, I'll still turn into... _My thoughts continued on in this manner, imagining which part of me he'd go for first. Somewhere deep beneath this I was screaming at myself to wake up from this nightmare.

_"Calm down," _Tom's voice hissed unexpectedly through my mind. I'd somehow managed to forget about him. "_I need you to control yourself and listen to me if you want to keep all your limbs." _I certainly did. _"You have absolutely no Legilimency skills or experience, though I believe I will be able to impart my own into you." _I ignored his not subtle jab at my inexperience, after all, it was true. His voice was rushed and unusually direct, which allowed me to fully register that he was in this situation just the same as I was.

"_I need to you _reach _out with your mind and try to make contact with him. He may already be transformed, but if you can get passed the wolf's, you will be able to breach into the man's consciousness." _I didn't bother wondering how he knew so much about entering others' minds or werewolves' consciousnesses. "_**Do it now!**_" he screamed in my head as I hesitated, all composure lost.

Knowing without doubt that this was not the appropriate time to fire back an argument about my utter ignorance of how one would go about bloody "reaching" into someone's mind, I tried anyways. If this was my last chance to not get eaten, I wasn't going to hold back.

Using whatever vague knowledge of the process I'd learned from Harry's experiences with Snape, I fought hard to push all thoughts away and _reach. _And then...

...nothing happened.

Feeling that last drop of hope dry out, I almost let myself succumb to the backlog of hysteria that had been growing progressively. _I failed._ There wasn't anything else for me to―

An astonishing influx of energy flowed through every cell of my body, rushing out into the direction I'd been attempting to direct mine. Before I even had a chance to question Tom, who I knew was responsible, I got lost in the flood of a feral werewolf's thoughts. I didn't know what I should have expected, having never had any experience with Legilimency, so I was completely disoriented as vivid explosions of raging emotions took over. Nothing could have prepared me; the only thing that kept me grounded was Tom's mental touch, pushing me in the direction I needed to go. I felt sickened as I sifted through the animalistic rage and lust for blood and flesh. _My _flesh_. _Yikes.

Still not sure what I was doing, I followed Tom's unspoken commands and mentally probed deeper and deeper until at last, I reached something that felt different. The only possible way I could explain it is that it held a certain warmth. This new feeling reminded me so undeniably of Remus that there was no doubt in my mind that I'd found what Tom had been explaining: the last little bit of the man I knew left in this beast's mind. Acting purely on impulse, I pressed against this new assemble of feelings, sending every desperate plea for acknowledgement.

The wolf's head stopped nearly a foot away from mine. I pulled all thoughts back into my own head, too afraid to focus with all that was going on inside its head. So close to the ferocious animal, I didn't dare even breath. The cut above his eye shone furiously bright in the dark, making it all the more intimidating. A humming growl came deep from within its chest and I flinched. Its golden eyes pierced into my own and I wanted nothing more than to close them, but I feared its reaction if I broke the contact. Not even Tom had any more suggestions.

Without warning the growling stopped and the wolf blinked as if his eyes had gone out of focus. I took an anticipatory breath and then a potentially life or death chance.

"Remus?" I whispered, voice cracking with emotion. It let out a snarl and a bit of a snap, but made no further advancement. I could feel the panic from Tom and his disproval of my actions, but he made no mention, too anxious to speak out. Sensing that I hadn't apparently made the situation any worse, I steeled my mind and took a second chance.

"Remus, it's me," I said in a steadier voice, then paused, waiting for something. _Anything. _"It's Ginny," I added, desperately trying to get through to the piece of him I knew was in there. To my shock, the wolf closed its mouth, removing his carnivorously sharp canines from my vision. It seemed to me to be seriously considering my words. For the first time since I'd realized what night it was on the lunar calendar, I felt a tickle of hope.

The next time it brought its snout to my face and I felt its hot breath on my throat, I held my composure and didn't fear for my life, sort of. It sniffed at me for a few moments, then backed away, snorting in displeasure. Then he was gone.

Limping away from me, it found a place in the farthest corner. Having decided I was not a threat or a delicious meal, it began to clean the wounds inflicted upon his human body. Only when I felt it was safe for me to move at all did it show me any sign of acknowledgment. It barked threateningly, letting me know that although it wasn't going to kill me, it was certainly not going to allow me to move from my spot. I wasn't about to rebel against it any time soon.

Finally, out of the very immediate danger of death, the dam of adrenalin, horror and amazement at still being alive broke. I couldn't do anything more than hug my legs to my chest and sob until I grew too exhausted and my tears ran dry. For once, Tom had no cutting remark to make about my weakness of breaking down. He was too shaken himself to do much of anything.

The pain in my body came back twofold. My head pounded harder than if someone had beat into it with a hammer and my ankle was showing disagreeable signs of swelling. My mouth was completely parched, and having skipped breakfast that morning in favour of getting all my stuff packed before the train left without me, I felt an aching emptiness in my stomach. I thought of Mum and the delicious meal she prepares for her children every time they come home, making especially sure to include one of everyone's favourites.

I tried my very best not to think of Mum or the rest of the family, it was simply too upsetting. But of course, the harder I tried, the more I did think of them all. _They're probably sick with worry... _Knowing Ron, he's beating himself up with blame for not taking care of his little sister. By now the rest of my brothers had probably been contacted... _maybe they're even all together at Grimmauld place. _I tried to remember the last time my family had been together as a whole... it must have been two or three years. I felt such a pang of regret realizing this and registering that there quite possibly would never be another chance to make it up.

Apparently I still had some tears left.

Time passed immeasurably and after an unknowable number of hours or minutes passed, the werewolf in the corner drifted off to sleep. I wouldn't have imagined it letting down its guard like this normally, but I felt a terrible certainty that while in his natural form, Remus had been here for days. While I was uncertain as to just how severe his abuse had been, I had a feeling they wouldn't have had enough humanity to allow him any comfort in sleep. _Oh,_ _Remus... how did they find you out?_

I wanted nothing more than to hold him and feel the familiar comfort of him in my arms. His proximity only made my longing grow tenfold. Instead of falling asleep under the warm covers of his bed with the heat of his back against my own as I had the last night I'd seen him, I slowly sank into a fitful rest on the cold stone of the dark corner of my prison, feeling more alone than ever.

A door slammed in the distance, snapping me awake with a start. The dim lighting in my cell gave me enough information to know dawn had passed. I took a moment to get some saliva back into my sickeningly dry mouth, and lick the cuts from my chapped lips.

I looked over to the corner where Remus had fallen asleep, though he was now changed back to human form. It was a real testament to how dire our situation was that I wasn't affected in the least by his nakedness. He'd curled himself into a fetal position, back facing me. I shut my mind off from the visible torture he'd been through, and took off my cloak to put around him. He didn't stir.

I limped over to the door to find the source of the now loudly approaching voices. Clearly, they were not pleased.

"Lestranges wouldn't listen and Dolohov's on a new revenge mission after what she did to his face." _To be fair... he wasn't exactly undeserving. _

"The fool deserved what he got if he could let a wandless, bound, teenage girl get the better of them both!" Told you he deserved it. All of a sudden, I felt sick to my stomach. _I know that voice! _I _loathed _that voice. "You realize, Nott, that if the girl is dead from Rabastan's little stunt with the wolf, in _my own _home, the Dark Lord will destroy us all. _**Slowly**__._" Lucius Malfoy hissed and I felt a little thrum of triumph that I had a speck of blackmailing material.

_So trying to kill me via werewolf wasn't a part of Voldemort's grand scheme. I didn't think so. Maybe he'll kill them when he finds out anyways, _I thoughts sadistically. I also realized that Malfoy had just told me where I was, his home... house... mansion, whatever you'd call it. Not that this information really helped me with anything. At all. Also, Tom seemed just a little too pensive for my liking, but as he saved my (and his, admittedly) life with Remus, I decided I might as well ignore him for the moment.

The voices had stopped finally, but their footsteps were right outside my line of sight, so I backed away from the door, suddenly conscious of the fact that I was in nothing but jeans and a black tank top (I hated wearing too much under the school robes, I always overheat... but back to something a little more important). I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms protectively across my chest. I heard the sound of keys in a lock and the door opened wide.

I was face to face with Lucius Malfoy, and the widening of his grey eyes was enough to show me how astonished he was at my lack of dismemberment. _You and me both. _He glanced at the sleeping form of Remus in the corner and turned back to me. It's not every day a healthy young woman is locked in with a ferocious starved werewolf and comes out looking fine and dandy.

"Have you been bitten?" he asked, with something close to concern, although I was inclined to believe it was more for him than for me.

I showed him my arms and replied with a simple "no." Relief poured off of him, and I heard a breath released from Nott who'd been standing silently behind him. _Well aren't you two just the luckiest men still alive, _I thought bitterly.

His eyes narrowed, I could practically hear the gears turning inside his head. He was working hard to figure out how I survived, wondering now if I had been underestimated. "Well, Miss Weasley, I'd like to apologize for your treatment thus far, and would gladly escort you to more comfortable lodgings." I narrowed my eyes right back. I felt like I had a right to be suspicious of any kindness or manners from them. Though unfortunately, I wasn't exactly in the position to argue anything. But I was in a position to make a request.

"What are you going to do with him?" I asked, gesturing my head towards Remus. _Keep calm, Ginny. You can help him. _Malfoy's lips twitched.

"We aren't going to do anything with him," he replied, unreassuringly. I frowned.

"He needs medical attention, you animals have beaten him within an inch of his life. He's bleeding from a wound in his head, and he clearly hasn't eaten in days." I explained, trying hard not to let my rage overcome me.

Malfoy looked pensive for a moment. "Little girl, what makes you think any of us care?"

"Well I'm certain Voldemort won't appreciate you sanctioning a werewolf being locked in this room with me during the full moon. Wasn't part of his plan was it? Rest assured, even if I'm unable to speak the words, I will force it to the front of my mind so that's all he'll be able to read from me." I retorted with as much confidence as I could manage. I needed him to know in no uncertain terms that I was telling the truth.

Nott stepped forwards furiously "Why you―

"I swear to keep my mouth and mind otherwise occupied if you feed him, clothe him and heal the injuries your own people have inflicted upon him." I thought of anything else I may have managed to leave out, trying to fill in any loopholes. "And leave him be once this is done," I finished unyieldingly.

"Anything else?" he asked in mock concern.

"You could also release him," I added in half seriousness, knowing full well it was out of the question.

Malfoy held out an arm to stop Nott from approaching any closer. He looked at me coldly for a moment, then smiled chillingly. "No, we won't be doing that." Well, it had been worth a try. "You know, it's not often I'm blackmailed by one of my own guests, Miss Weasley," I scoffed silently, guest _indeed. _"He will be seen to, and now you're going to accompany me elsewhere." I let out a shaky breath of relief. I hadn't done much, but I felt confident that I'd done all that I could for Remus. I felt a slight panic though as I was led out of the chamber. I gave Remus one last look, but he was still deep in his unconsciousness. _I'm going to see him again, I'm going to see him again, _I reassured myself, fighting against all forms of my despair.

I was blindfolded as we walked through the maze of the Malfoy home, although I had a strange sense of knowing where I was at all times. I managed to predict each turn, every staircase as if I'd walked them before. It was so unusual that I spent the entire walk trying to figure it out, until I finally came to realize that Tom had most likely walked these very halls before he'd been split apart from his other half. His familiarity with the building was crossing over into me. I was so thankful for the slow pace because my ankle had still been bothering me, though it was certainly not at the top of my list of worries. _Tom, where are they taking me? _I asked hopelessly.

"_I don't know Ginevra, but do not worry. Everything is coming to pass,_" Forgive me for not feeling more reassured. His perkiness infuriated me.

I felt a door open beside me as I was abruptly turned to my right. The hand that had held loosely onto my forearm was gone and the door shut again behind me. I stood absolutely motionless for a long moment, waiting for something, _anything _to happen. Every muscle in my body was tense, ready for some form of attack. Nothing happened. I waited a moment longer, then slowly reached my hand up and lifted the blindfold from my eyes. I hadn't been expecting the scene that met my eyes.

I was in a lavishly furnished room, beautiful couches of rich dark materials, and an exquisite vanity of swirling marble with a larger than life mirror. I was facing a floor-to-ceiling window draped in an exquisitely royal blue velvet or satin. I'd never been in such an expensive surrounding. I felt completely out of place in my dirty jeans and slightly too small tank top. _What am I doing in here?_ I saw an open door on the far side of the room near the window, and judging from the corner of tile I could see, it was a bathroom. I looked around the whole three hundred and six degrees to be absolutely certain I was alone. I tried to open the door I'd come through, already knowing it wouldn't budge, but as my fingers touched the door handle, it began to turn. I jumped back. Someone from the outside was coming in. Not knowing what to do, I stayed right where I was in the middle of the room, bending my knees for a more stable stance in case I actually was attacked.

In walked an incredibly beautiful woman I'd met only once at the Quidditch World Cup all those years ago: Narcissa Malfoy.

For a moment she stared at me, perhaps a little taken aback at my expression and posture, then her own softened and she spoke in a soothing voice, "Let's get you cleaned up, darling." Darling was an endearment my mother used often, and with that simple thought of mum, I broke down. I collapsed onto a couch near me and got lost in the numbing sensation of my horrible mess of emotions.

**TBC**

Author's note: Yikes, it's been a while! You guys are great and I am terrible, admittedly haha. To be fair, it's been a messy months! So I had exams, which we're awfully terrible like me, they sucked. My hardrive crashed and I thought I had lost every single thing that I had ever written and that got me so discouraged for writing because I'd already had half of this chapter written, but thankfully my friend is a computer wizard and he retrieved all my stuff! Yay, friends with talent, right? Oh, and then I decided to drop out of school, so it's been kind of a busy month! Anyways, hope you liked this one, next chappie is going to be a BIG one for sure, plot wise, action-wise... hopefully Remus being alive wise... maybe not though, I sort of have to figure out what he's doing with himself, especially now that his poor face cut is going to get all healed up by some nice death eaters... or is it? I'm awful. Anyways, leave a review, it will be IMMENSELY appreciated, and a definite motivator to get the next chapter out as fast as humanly possible! See ya next time, folks.

P.s. I honestly just realized what a bad awful cliff-hanger I left you guys with last time! I really am terrible :( Forgive meee.


	24. Assumptions

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

I stared at my terribly unhappy reflection, wondering how things had gotten so out of my control. But then again, when could I honestly say I'd ever had any? Narcissa stood behind me while I sat on a chair in front of the magnificent vanity. Of all the things going through my mind, all the dangers currently present in my life, it seemed absolutely absurd to be worrying about my hair.

After being taken into a bathroom twice the size of my living room at home, I was unclothed by a kindly house-elf named Portia. Before I had a chance to protest, my clothes were magically disposed of.

I took a bath in a tub that could have fit my entire bedroom. It was marvellous to feel the warm water sooth my tense muscles, and loosen the dirt from my skin. I felt as if it had been _days_ since I'd been warm. I was nearly so relaxed that I almost fell asleep when the little elf began washing my hair. Nothing is as soothing as someone delicately working their fingers through your hair, elf or not. I wished more than anything at that very moment for any verification that Malfoy had kept his word and Remus was being seen to _properly. _But once again, it was out of my hands.

After I was all washed and dried, wearing nothing but a towel and some fresh under-things (that were too lacy for my approval, but I'd rather wear them then nothing at all), Portia sat me down and healed my ankle, and the nasty bump on my head. I felt physically better than I had in weeks. _If only I weren't being held prisoner by a group of evil, psychotic men. _But I still was trying to figure out why I was being treated so well. _What is their purpose in healing me?_ I had a funny feeling I didn't really want to find out. 

I was brought out to the room I'd first been in and Narcissa Malfoy, with the aid of Portia, got me into the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. It must have cost more than my entire house. It was a deep inky blue, so rich I couldn't help but stare and admire it. The dress had loose sleeves that were meant to fall off the shoulders, and a corset like top, while the skirt flowed out in pleats of material from my hips, just touching the floor. My cleavage was on display far more than I would have chosen, but much better than I would have expected, so I did not voice a complaint. Still, I couldn't help but ask why such a fuss was being made about my presentation, but it was the only question Narcissa refused to answer. I didn't persist, but the note of warning flashed even stronger in my mind. People only hide the bad things from you.

She reached her arm around me to gather up my hair, when I caught a glimpse of her left forearm. There was nothing on it. "You aren't marked?" I blurted out before I could help myself, so taken aback. I caught her blue eye in the mirror and saw for the first time the deep eddies of regret and grief. What did this mean?

"No," she breathed, "I'm not." I waited a moment for her to continue, but she didn't. I'd always believed the whole Malfoy clan would be first in line to offer themselves to Voldemort. Apparently I was wrong.

She began pinning my hair to the top of my head so that my curls hung down, brushing my shoulder blades.

"Why are you still here?" I wondered softly, out loud. She finished with one last pin, seeming to not have heard my question, or at least pretending not to. I closed my eyes sadly, not having enough will to ask again.

I opened my eyes back up and she was staring right into mine in the mirror. "They would kill my son," she finally replied in a quiet, matter-of-fact tone. I didn't know how to react. She didn't even leave any time for me to compose myself as she walked out of the room without a backwards glance.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see my pitiful expression. _That poor woman... _It seemed so bizarre to me that a schoolmate of mine was somewhere in the mansion. For the first time in my life I felt a great pity for the boy, whom I'd felt nothing more than disdain. I may have loathed him, but surely it's true that we're a product of our environments_? If he'd grown up in a loving, trusting and loyal family he would have been so different. What if I'd grown up in his place? _

No use thinking of things like that. Our pasts are set in stone; only the future is unwritten. Unfortunately for me, it was starting to look like I might not have much of a future to write.

I was brought out of my reverie by a squeaky voice near my knee. I opened my eyes, and looked down at Portia's luminescent orb-like eyes. "Is Misses needing anything? My mistress says I'm to take care of you until the ball is starting," she explained.

I was jolted into alertness and it took all my will to keep a straight face. "Oh yes, the ball," I paused, "Portia, do you know what the ball is for?"

"Of course I is knowing! It's the Christmas Eve ball we has here every year!" she smiled, clearly proud she'd been able to answer my question. My jaw dropped.

I'd been there for _three _nights?

"_Yes, and I was quite worried when you wouldn't wake the second night," _Tom's voice seemed suspiciously sincere.

_What in the name of bloody hell did you do, Tom?_ I asked in my head, attempting not to let my flood of emotions wash over my face, not wanting to alarm the poor little elf. _Three nights, I lost three nights!_

"_What I did was keep your body safe, by feeding you and forcing you to drink water while you were unconscious," _he replied sharply. It almost seemed for a moment he was upset by my lack of confidence in his ability to actually help. After rethinking this statement, I realized that couldn't be it. Tom Riddle helped _himself. _

Having not been dismissed, Portia stood there awkwardly, looking up at me, waiting for a command. I felt a great sympathy for the creature. "Thank you, Portia, I don't need anything right now." Except maybe my wand, Remus, and an escape route... but I don't think the elf had any of that hiding under her dress which had originally been a short skirt but was clipped at the top so that it didn't fall down.

She disappeared with a bow and a distinct _pop. _

Too agitated to sit around, I paced the room. I peered out the window but only got a view of a snow covered field next to a forest. It reminded me so strongly of the field my brothers and I used to play Quidditch on near our home. I turned away; I didn't want to be reminded of home.

Beside the vanity was a pair of heels, in a dark, smoky gray. They matched the lacing on my dress, and the long silver earrings Narcissa had put in. She'd also put a number of silver bangles on my wrist.

I slipped my feet into the shoes and did up the buckles as tight as possible. I wasn't exactly a girl who wore heels often, so I tried walking around the room, inches taller than usual. I didn't think I'd be making any fast getaways with them on, but I figured if the need called, I'd be able to still run.

I spent a lot of time preparing myself mentally. If I wanted to gain any form of upper hand, I needed to stay calm, reasonable and alert. Something important was happening tonight. Something terrible.

At the sound of the door, I stopped my pacing. Lucius walked in unaccompanied, dressed impeccably in an obviously expensive set of robes that were tailored to imitate the muggle style of a suit (irony much?).

"Well, Miss Weasley, as your host it will be my pleasure escorting you to tonight's engagement," he smiled silkily, holding out an arm for me to take.

"No blindfold this time?" I asked in a cool tone.

He gave a soft chuckle, and I stepped forward wrapping my fingers around his arm. With the heels, I was nearly his height. There were no other options for me but to comply with all the grace I could summon. We left the room.

"I am sure you'd appreciate hearing that Remus Lupin is being treated well. I have kept my word. But still, one does wonder how you managed to get through the night unscathed," he finished, but then quickly added, "not that we aren't all enormously grateful for your current safety."

"Don't you mean for _your _current safety?" I replied, ignoring his implied question of my close escape. It was quite obvious though that he was expecting something else from me. "And I will also keep mine. Unlike those you associate with, I actually believe in honesty."

He gave another soft laughter. "Such naivety of youth. It's quite refreshing, my dear."

I decided not to respond to his obvious condescension so we walked in silence through the halls, hearing nothing but my heels clacking on the polished marble floors as I admired the splendid art and architecture we passed. I blinked away the beginnings of tears as I thought back to my last holiday dance and I whispered a prayer that Lucius had been telling the truth about keeping his word.

As we approached, it was the music I heard first.

We entered a small hall from one end, and directly across from us were two ceiling high doors open wide to the ballroom. Beyond these doors were nearly a hundred dancing men and women, all in dress similar to ours. I lost all feeling in my legs, my whole body trembled. I was literally being led into the snake den.

As we entered the ballroom which was nearly twice the size of the Great Hall at Hogwarts, many couples stopped where they were to send a calculating look in my direction. There was not a friendly face to be found. I felt queasy as I recognized many faces from the battle at the Department of Mysteries. Clearly, they also recognized me. I felt a great relief at not seeing Dolohov though, there was a score I assume he was still wanting to settle.

Lucius led me around the edge of the hall, pausing often to receive nods of acknowledgement from his "guests". I was so busy keeping myself calm and collected that I had no attention to spare for the magnificent detail of the floors, the walls, and especially the ceiling. I was suffering from a bit of a sensory overload.

At last I saw Narcissa standing to the side with Draco, who's expression showed an immense discomfort. I don't know when I'd started thinking of them by their first names, but how else was I supposed to differentiate between the three Malfoys?

For a moment I let myself feel calmed by the familiarity of Narcissa's presence, as she'd been so kind to me earlier.

Lucius greeted his wife with a surprising display of affection by kissing her on the cheek. I didn't know he could resemble a human.

Draco stood silently, unmistakably agitated. He avoided my gaze, but I swore a touch of pink came to his cheeks as I approached. He was as ill at ease seeing a schoolmate he'd known for six years as I was. I remembered what Narcissa had confessed to me earlier and wondered if he knew his position was nearly as precarious as my own.

I followed his actions and stood to the side, trying my hardest not to be noticed. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and was dismayed to meet many dancing pairs still watching.

Against my will, Narcissa's attention transferred from her husband to me. I shifted under her intense gaze. "Draco, darling, go enjoy yourself now that you have a suitable dance partner." _No, no, no, no, please don't make me go out in the middle of them all._

Draco was absolutely thinking the same thing, looking from his mother to me in distress. "Mother, surely―

"Draco, do what your mother says," his father replied firmly. Draco took my hand in his unexpectedly warm one and walked ahead of me, leading us into the crowd of dancing figures. Most eyes were upon us. Almost every bared arm I saw showed a gleaming black skull with a snaked tongue. I swallowed nervously, wondering irrationally if they could smell my fear.

Finally when we found a break in the crowd, he turned to me, put his free hand under my arm, and I rested mine on his shoulder. "Do you know how to waltz?" he asked, speaking to me for the first time, voice having lost all vehemence it would certainly have had at school. I nodded yes, because I honestly did. Two summers ago, Luna and I had taken ballroom dancing lessons in the muggle town near her home. It had been terribly fun at the time, and now it was seriously paying off.

I followed his lead through the dance, neither of us speaking a word. One thing I'd always associated with the Malfoy family was vanity, but as I looked over Draco's face, I could see the signs of stress taking their toll. There were poorly disguised circles under his slightly bloodshot eyes, and his cheek bones were more prominent than ever, and his hair was not as impeccably coiffed as it had been since I'd met him in my first year. More than once I caught his eyes shifting nervously around the room. It appeared that he actually did know _just _how insecure his life potentially was.

"Do you know what's going to happen tonight?" I asked finally, but quietly so as only to reach him.

He took a long moment looking at me. I didn't quite know where we stood at the moment, never previously being on social terms. "You honestly don't know?" he looked troubled.

"Please," I whispered, close to tears, "what's going to happen will happen whether I know what it is or not. I'm so scared for my life and there is no one else to tell me what's going to happen to me or why I'm even here!"

We had to put a hold to the conversation as a couple strayed too near to us. I accidentally caught the eye of a man I knew from the Department of Mysteries whose name I remembered as Mulciber. He leered over the shoulder of his skeletal looking partner. I had to resist the temptation to gag. As we coordinated our steps to move away from the pair, Draco managed to give his reply. "Weasley, the Dark Lord is coming here tonight. He's coming to... to give me his mark, and there's something to do with you that's interested him... but I swear, I don't know what it is. I don't believe there's anyone here who could even tell you," he was looking more and more distraught by the second.

"You don't want the mark?" I asked, for some reason focussing in on probably the least important bit of detail from all that he said. I just always believed that that was one of his biggest ambitions. _Wrong again, Ginny. You're just as assuming as everyone else. _

He spun me away from him, but when I returned back to him, there was an emotional glint in his eye. "It's not what _I_ want that matters."

"But your mother―

"Yes, and what do you think they would do to my mother if I refused? Decisions in my world aren't as easy or moral as in yours," he finished bitterly. I couldn't bring myself to protest, having come to the very same conclusion earlier. "The only reason she stays a part of all this is because she cares more about me than her own freedom," he whispered barely loud enough for me to here.

"I apologize," I returned, not wishing to cause any more harm.

"Weasley, as much as I've felt no love for your family, I am sorry for your being here. I can see no way that any good is going to come to you."

"Nor you, I feel." We shared a sombre moment of acknowledgement at the truth of this.

The music stopped. Draco and I separated. An uncomfortable number of eyes were focused on us until a commotion was being made near the door I'd entered. Everyone's attention turned in that direction, including ours.

The hall was silent; not a breath could be heard.

"It's time now," Lucius' magically enhanced voice filled the hall. A wave of anticipation passed through the room. "The Dark Lord is here."

I looked over to Draco, his pale, terrified expression a mirror of my own.

This was not going to be a merry Christmas.

**TBC**

Author's note: I'm ashamed to admit, but Draco and Ginny are my most favouritest pairing. All my other fics are Draco/Ginny so I decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to bring him into the story since I love him so much... although in no way whatsoever is he going to be of any romantic interest. I could never do that to Remus. He's too good for that, as all of us know. Anyways, I hope that was a satisfying chapter, so now you know that with this little cliffhanger, shit's going to get **real** next chapter, believe you me! Please leave a review, tell me what you think! I'd just like to give an extra thanks to those of you who manage to review each chapter! You're super fantastic and you know who you are!


	25. Taking Control

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**PLEASE READ****: **Hello again, I will make this quick as I know many of you have been waiting an exorbitant length of time to read this chapter. I have recently gone through and edited this entire story, fixing everything from grammar, to plot holes, to character development to make this story flow more, have more depth and make the characters more realistic. I didn't make any big plot changes, so if you don't go back t reread it all you most likely won't be missing anything, I just thought I'd let you know that while I have seemingly been away from this project for a very long time, I have indeed been working on it! In fact it's nearly 6000 words longer! Okay, I'm done know. Please continue :)

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

The music had stopped. Every person in the hall dropped to one knee in a bow. I most absolutely refused even if it meant I was left standing alone above the sea of worshippers. Draco looked up at me in doubt, but didn't move. Everyone's eyes were drawn to the doors, including mine. Not a rustle of fabric could be heard throughout the entire hall, not even a breath. My pulse throbbed in my ears. _He's here._

The doors opened and in he came: the living (if you could call it that), breathing (if he even needed to) monstrous disfiguration of all my nightmares. The thing standing before me was an abomination, a mutant freak of the boy who had been called Tom Riddle, wearing a dark, billowing cloak about him. He carried himself with the unmistakeable swagger of a man who thought himself invincible. One look was the only proof anyone needed to know he'd succeeded in castrating the muggle, human spirit inside him. I could feel my disgust and mortifications flooding into Tom freely.

"_All will be set right, Ginevra. He is but a mere shadow of what we shall become." _I felt a shudder run up the whole length body.

"Rise, my loyal followers," the grotesque shape of a man began, extending open arms to his gathering. The Death Eaters rose to their feet eagerly, awaiting the long anticipated spectacle they were about to witness. The woman beside me brushed against my arm, and I looked over at her face. Her hands were clenched tight at her sides, and her face did not have the same sick devotion on it that the others' did. I looked down at her arm, wondering perhaps if she was in the same position as Narcissa, but a vivid Dark Mark stared back at me. No one could take the mark unless they were willing.

Shaking myself out of the momentary distraction, I tried to return my gaze to the entrance of the room. Tall figures blocked my view of the monster, but his voice still carried through the room. "Tonight you will witness the rebirth of your Lord," he began, pausing for effect, and then added in a sickeningly amused tone, "a fitting night, would you not all agree?" A murmur of laughter flittered through the crowd, each enjoying the irony of using the eve of a very different Lord's birth. "But let me not forget myself or my manners," he exclaimed with a laugh that set my teeth on edge. _Manners, indeed._ "Let me thank our gracious hosts for the evening, Lucius and Narcissa, ever eager to volunteer their homes for their Lord and for tonight's celebrations." The image of Narcissa's face in the mirror flashed before my mind's eye. _Volunteered? As if they'd had any other choice._ "As such, I would like to take this time and welcome our guests of honour," the room seemed to crackle with expectation. The woman beside me made as if to turn her head and look at me, but stopped herself at the last moment. _This is it, this is what my whole life has boiled down to. _"Draco, where are you? Come and stand by me." Clearly not a request.

Everyone's eyes searched him out, and bodies moved to form a cleared path for him. He didn't look towards me again, but I saw a newfound look of steel determination in his eye, and he proceeded forward, head held high, sparing not a glance for his soon to be fellow Death Eaters. _Just like a Malfoy, _I though, oddly without disrespect.

"Ah yes, Lucius' prodigy. Soon to make a most valuable asset to my forces, of this I have no doubt. But before I forget, where is my other guest, Ginevra Weasley? For I have very much been waiting to meet her," I could almost hear his face stretching with a leer.

All eyes were glued to me, though to my greatest surprise, not all seemed to be hostile. For the briefest moment I swore I saw a look of deep concern on a man by the name of Yaxley's face. I blinked and it was gone, along with him, lost in the sea of eyes. _I must be already cracking. _I thought, as there was no other explanation. I steadied my breathing and then I made the longest, most arduous walk of my entire life. Nearly every mouth was turned up in a malicious sneer or a sadistic grin. I stopped looking at the crowd surrounding me, and kept my gaze forward, following Draco's path. I too held my head high, sparing no recognition of the vicious company I was in. If this was my last moment as myself on this earth, I was going to live it with dignity and utmost poise. _Just like a Weasley._ I had to blink away a few ghost tears as I thought of my family with immeasurable pride.

I reached the edge of the group and emerged into an open space with Draco and _him_. The crowd closed up behind me and seemed to press in, eager for the show to begin.

"Ginevra, at last," he greeted, flashing what was meant to be a charming smile, but what once had been a powerful weapon on the face of his teenage, whole self, only disturbed and disgusted me. At that very moment, I felt more revolted than afraid. Cheered by the victory that he already considered won, his smile grew ever wider. Depressingly, from where I was standing, he pretty much had. "You're more beautiful than I imagined."

"You're shorter than I imagined." I responded coolly. A flash of red hot malice flickered in his eyes. Members of the crowd behind me gasped in obvious incredulity and offense. Then he gave me a rather thinned smiled, or at least a sick imitation of one.

"My, my," was his only response for a long while. The room pulsated with eagerness and expectation, each wondering what sort of horrors he had planned for me now. "Do you know why you are tonight's other guest of honour, Miss Weasley? Have you any idea why we've gone to so much trouble for you?"

Feeling the need to indeed prove that I did, I explained it. "You left a piece of yourself in that diary you once owned as a boy. When the diary was destroyed, the piece sought a new carrier. Simply enough, that's me. That's what you've been after and _that's _what all the trouble has been for."

"Beautifully spoken, you are right on all accounts," he added with complete mockery and a few condescending claps of his hands. Unseen laughter from various guests rose behind me. I resisted all temptation to turn back and shoot a glare at all of them. _Vultures, the whole lot of them._

He turned away unexpectedly and focused all attention onto Draco for the time being. I was terribly disconcerted, and so was the crowd behind me who seemed impatient and wished he would finish up with me right away. "It is time for you to take your place at my side, boy." All amusement and ridicule left his voice and visage. The audience seemed to also sense the change, as a thick silence washed over them. "Do you accept all responsibility of your new position?"

"I do," Draco responded clearly, without hesitation. I stood apart and watched along with the rest of the Death Eaters.

"Do you accept all responsibility in the face of a failure to complete the will of your lord?"

"I do."

"Do you accept all responsibility in following your Lord's will as law?" _Now this is just getting ridiculous. Who does he think he is? God? _I thought about it for a second, then realized he probably did. I was just having troubles getting over how obscenely dramatic this all was. It was actually quite cheesy. _Who would have thought?_

"I do."

"Do you accept all responsibility in completing a final test before you are marked?" _What test?_

There was less than a second in delay, but the hesitation was there. Perhaps he didn't know of this test either? "I do."

Voldemort's blood coloured eyes gleamed in manic triumph. With the flick of his wand, the doors reopened behind him and my heart split in two as the last man I wanted to see in that gathering was brought in. Remus was blindfolded as I had been earlier, with his arm tied around his back. He was all I could look at. His clothes had been changed, his wounds cleaned and patched up, but he still looked like a depraved, tortured man. I stepped forward, wanting to touch him, hold him, tell him I was there, but I knew I would never have been allowed to reach him. My whole body clenched in despair. _What did the two of us due to deserve this, Remus? Why does our pain never cease?_

"Thank you, Severus," my gaze snapped up to the man in the Death Eater robes leading him. _Snape! _For a brief instant my heart fluttered in absolute belief that all was not lost. _Snape's here, he must have relayed the information to the Order, they had to know we were here by now! How could I have forgotten that there was someone on our side left in here? _My heart sank like a stone. _He is on our side, right? _When I looked into his eyes, they were hollow, empty. As he stared back into mine, not even a glimmer of recognition, no sign that there were any other way that this was going to end but _his. Was this just his act? Or was it Dumbledore he'd been fooling? _I'd never doubted him before, but I'd also never been in a situation with as many different angles as this. My poise and dignity crumbled to dust. Voldemort's entire countenance read excitement and rapture.

"This is my final test for you to prove yourself, Draco. Do not disappoint."

Draco looked at both his professors, eyes wide, then to his new master in apprehension. I felt sorry that'd any child should be brought into this world and way of life. "What exactly am I to do… my Lord?"

"Don't be naïve, Draco," he hissed, clearly impatient. The crowed pushed in even closer, like a group of feral animals.

Snape pushed Remus down onto his knees. I could see his face grimace in pain as they struck the floor, but he didn't utter a sound. _Maybe I'm already dead. Maybe this what hell truly is like._

"Kill him, Draco, so that the girl can watch. That Claude boy has told me she's quite attached to him," I gasped. _No, this can't be it! This can't be happening. This is all my fault. They're going to kill him just because of me! I can't let this happen. I can't lose him, not again! _

"No! Remus!" I cried, wanting him to hear my voice, to know I was there.

His head looked around frantically, until he stopped, looking in my direction and I knew even though his eyes were covered, they were burning straight into mine. "Ginny? Oh my God, Ginny, I'm so sorry, I―

"Quiet," Snape barked and my eyes flooded with hot tears of rage. I could barely see his outline, but I wished all manner of fire to consume the murderous traitor's flesh. _We trusted you. We all trusted you._

"Well this is simply marvellous. It seems the boy was telling us the truth. Look at her face everyone," he jeered, as his posse of whipped dogs cackled in sadistic delight. "You can see it in her eyes can't you? The love for this half breed mutt?"

I snapped. Completely.

"_**You beast**_!" I shrieked, lunging at Lord Voldemort, armed with nothing more than a set of nails I intended wholeheartedly to dig into his mutated eyeballs and rip his face apart. I never reached him, nor did I think I actually would, as two pairs of immense arms rushed from behind to secure me. I thrashed and flailed and screamed out in primitive fury, legs kicking in the air for release. They we're nearly overcome by my temporary insanity, but no matter how I twisted and turned, my arms would not free. _"__**You sick, weak, pathetic, twisted, old demon! You abominable creature of hell!**_" I jabbed my pointed heel into one of their feet, I thrust the back of my head into the other's face. "_**You hypocritical tyrant! Your muggle father must have saw you for what you were even as a baby, and he abandoned you! You fatherless, mixed blooded swine. If anyone's a mutt, it's you Tom Riddle, for the love of God, it's you!**_" I howled, wishing my words would sear into his very flesh. The hall filled with loud outrage and insult. No one could even think such a near blasphemous accusation and be allowed to live. The owners of the arms squeezed me so tight I thought I might snap in two, but still I fought.

Voldemort stared me down, eyes filled with ravenous anger. A wave of stillness broke out over the crowd. "When you're done Draco," he began in a cold calm, "I want you to kill her next."

Three voices cried out the same response, "What!" but only I heard the third, as it came from inside my own head. My body tensed, completely paralyzed. My blood turned to ice. Draco looked from Voldemort, to me, eyes still wide from my accusatory revelation. He no longer knew what to believe.

_I_'d cried out in confusion and disbelief. Wasn't I supposed to be alive for him to gain ultimate power? Didn't he _need _me? Wasn't that what all of this has been about? Wasn't that what he'd said moments ago? But Tom, Tom's was something else. His emotions became so strong they began to take me over. Tom repeated the question.

"_What did you say?_" he hissed, and I realized he'd spoken aloud. He'd spoken out loud using my own vocal chords, but it didn't sound like my voice. It was distorted, and far more menacing. I was so afraid, I didn't know what to do with myself.

"What did you expect to happen, you traitorous fool, turning your back on your own kind?" he sneered. For obvious reasons, he was under the impression I was the one talking.

"_You mean to tell me that after all this time searching, planning, you're going to kill this girl? I thought you knew what you were doing. I thought you finally understood her importance. _You _are the fool," _he finished with a frigid rage. It shook me to hear such a tone being used with my own voice.I still had no idea what to do, Tom had never taken over my body while I was conscious of it, but even though he was using my mouth to speak, I still had control over the rest of me.

Voldemort's eye's narrowed to slits. "You!" he exclaimed lividly, unease evident in those inhuman eyes, "Your persistence in avoiding the final death has been the ultimate bane of my existence these last twenty odd years. Tonight it ends. My plans have been fulfilled. The girl will die, and _you_ will follow." There was no mistaking the victory in his voice. "When you're destroyed, I will be parted from my mortal spirit and become immortal as I've always meant to be," he broke into a psychotic, manic laughter that caused even his followers to become uneasy. Draco took more than just one step back, unsure what part he was now supposed to be playing because he, as like the rest of the individuals in the hall, hadn't the faintest idea of what was going on.

"_You think you can subdue me, you lesser being of greater blood? How little you've managed to comprehend. How little you've evolved, even after all these years," _an ominous calm emerged from my throat against any command of mine. "_You will not kill me, and you will not kill the girl. This is your last night alive, Voldemort. You've no use anymore. You're just a festering poison," _he paused. I couldn't believe how things had gotten so much more messed up so quickly, Tom Riddle was telling Voldemort that he wasn't going to kill me. Which was kind of good news, I suppose. Suddenly I had the funniest of feelings take over my entire body, as if I were weightless, maybe floating on water and then I was out of the game entirely.

Tom, in one twist, released my arms from my captures, using far more strength than I honestly had. He pushed them both back as they tried to regain their grips, and somehow there my body was standing, free from restraint, holding both of their wands. He was fully in control now and I was just going along for the ride. This must have been what his limited life was truly like. I couldn't even move my eyes, and was only able to see what he decided to look at. And all he had focused in his sights was the disfigured body that he'd once been a part of.

"_You know nothing of true power. I am stronger than you now, Voldemort and I am satisfied with what I have achieved as it is more than any other soul on this planet has or will accomplish again. It is you who is no longer needed. You have not spent your last night wisely." _For a moment it appeared that he'd concluded but he unexpectedly had something to say to me, "_I apologize for any damage that may be done to your body." _

That did not bode well at all. "What!" I hissed to him. I started to panic, and then began to feel claustrophobic as I couldn't move. "Tom, don't even think about it! You're going to get killed, and then I'm going to be killed! There are too many here, which I can't believe I'm needing to tell you. Like, 100 too many! You can't even win against Voldemort, my body isn't trained, it's actually quite_ out_ of training! This is a double suicide mission and I don't think I want you to take my body along for the trip!" I shouted as loud as I could mentally to him.

I could feel the corners of _my_ mouth twitch into a smirk of (which must have looked so out of place on my features). "_There's a lot you don't know about magic, Ginevra._"

"And there's a lot you don't know about being killed, Mr. I-never-die, Merlin!"

"_Are you ready?" _he asked his counterpart, ignoring me. Oh, mother of Merlin this was it, the end of my days. And I didn't even get to be the one going down fighting in _my own body! _

"You truly believe you can defeat me in the body of this little girl? You've clearly spent far too long inside her foolishly optimistic, ever hopeful head. You're nothing but a childish memory," he snorted contemptuously, though I still haven't the faintest idea how as he really didn't have a nose. But before I knew what was happening, his wand flashed out of nowhere at incredible speeds, and his curse was already on the tip of his tongue before my mind caught up with his intention, I tried to scream a warning out to Tom, but I was too slow. "Avada K―

He was cut off by the world turning upside down around us. An explosion of light burst from behind me, as shrieks and smaller explosions erupted. I could feel the ground shaking beneath my feet. I wanted so strongly to turn and see what was happening, but I had no choice in the matter. All types of hell broke out behind me as I heard curses and more screams and mass confused panic. Voldemort's face read absolute horror for the first time in probably sixteen years. But as luck would have it, before Tom took his chance to finish the game off, an explosion erupted from behind and sent me careening head first into the beautiful marble floors. The was a loud thud, a sickening crack and complete control and all sense of pain in every part of my body became mine once more until I lost grips on staying awake, and the world dropped out of sight.

**TBC**

Author's note: Oh wow, I hope that was worth the wait for you guys because this was definitely the hardest chapter to write and I don't even know if I got all my ideas down clearly or not. Plus, it's five in the morning and I might be going a little loopy. Please leave some reviews, because I worked hard on this Easter present to you all :) Thanks for your time guys! Next one should be up very soon, and I seriously mean it. I've only got like three chapters left till it's done and I want to have it complete before I leave for London/Egypt on vacation! Which is a week away! **Love yas. **


	26. Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

"Ginevra, can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes, please! Come on, Ginny!" a frantic voice shouted close to my face. I opened my eyes, not even having realized they'd been closed, but things did not immediately come into focus. There was rush of sound returning to my ears as my mind slowly stopped spinning and the world began to rebuild itself around me. There was a hand on the side of my face, and something wet on my forehead. I tried to blink away the last of the blurriness and I came to remember how I'd gotten on the floor.

"Ginevra, I'm fixed your head as best I could, but I'm no healer. I need you to get up, we have to get out of here. _Now!" _The sound in the background came rushing at me full force, the sound was completely unmistakeable as ferocious battle. I tried to wrap my mind around it all, starting first with the man whose enchantingly familiar eyes stared into mine with avid concern.

"Remus? Wha―

I didn't manage to finish as I was being pulled to my feet and having my own wand miraculously shoved into my hand. I looked down at it in amazement.

"But how―

He cast me a fleeting glance, as if he were nearly going to answer, but a stray blast of purple light shot past the both of us, and he quickly changed his mind. "Keep your wand up, they're out for blood." He grabbed hold of my hand tightly and made for the door we'd both been brought in. He moved at a brisk pace, and I nearly had to job to keep up with his long strides. There were so many questions buzzing through my head. I looked behind me as another blast past over my head, hitting the opened door in front of us with a sickening sizzle. I was completely baffled as there was no discenerable sides to the battle. I tried to pick apart who was on _our_ side, but everyone looked exactly as they had before the first explosion had knocked me face first into the marble floors. From what it looked like, half the Death Eaters had simply turned on the other half. Everyone was dressed in their best finery fighting for their lives. We left the main ballroom and exited into the lesser hall, where a smaller number of duels were also being carried out.

_Why were they attacking each other? Who was on our side? How did Remus get freed? Where was Voldemort? What happened to Tom? _My mind remained focused on this last question. _The blast must have also knocked him out, _I realized, feeling quite certain he was not conscious inside my head. I didn't know how much time I had, if he came back, would he take over my body again? There was no way to stop him, at least, no way _I _knew how.

A man I knew from the papers as Augustus Rockwood, a once member of the Ministry turned Death Eater, managed to disarm and stun his opponent up ahead of us, and when he turned his attention onto Remus and I, I raised my wand, preparing to throw up a shield charm. To my absolute surprise he merely nodded at Remus.

"Moody, I've got her," _Moody? _Rockwood gave another nod and headed back the way we'd just come, throwing a bright red flash of a stunner from his wand.

"Remus!" I cried out, reaching as high a level of confusion as my mind could handle. "_What is going on?"_

We managed to exit the second hall and enter a smaller passage. At first I thought he didn't hear me over another blast that sounded suspiciously like a door being blown off its hinges. "The Order's here, Ginevra. Even some of the Aurors who have sympathized with Dumbledore. With Snape's information, knowing Voldemort would be here tonight, they were able to infiltrate using Polyjuice Potion and taking the place of a number of Voldemort's inner circle." I felt a rush of shame at how easily I'd believed Snape to be a traitor.

A group of less finely dressed men came running down the hall, wands out. Judging from Remus pulling me sideways and covering my body with his behind a statue of a wood nymph, they were not on our side. As there were too many for the two of us to take on, we waited until they passed. I followed them with my eyes, and made to leave from our hiding spot as Remus had effectively impressed upon me the need for us to hurry, but his body held me in place. I looked up at him questioningly and saw something completely unreadable in his eyes.

"Merlin, Ginevra," he breathed, and I swore I saw an unnatural glisten to his eyes. "Ginevra, I thought you were dead. The last thing I could remember was seeing the full moon, and when I woke up you were gone, there was blood on the floors and nothing but your cloak. I thought I… I must have…" His voice cracked with emotion. I couldn't even imagine how painful and guilt ridden he'd been these last few hours. _Of course_ they wouldn't have told him I was fine, and that he hadn't dismembered me in his other form. He couldn't even look me in the eye anymore. 

I placed both hands on his cheeks and forced his face to stare straight into mine. "Remus, I'm fine. You didn't bite me. You didn't hurt me at all. Even if you had, it would have been completely out of your control." I explained softly, realizing for the first time that I was there with Remus and we were both likely to get out of this alive. We would get out _together_. I didn't even care if my feelings for him were not returned, as long as he was alive. As long as we both were. For a moment the rest of the world dropped away.

"Ginevra, that letter I left you―

"I didn't read it," I replied, feeling greatly ashamed at my previous cowardice.

"You didn't?" He asked, frowning.

"I was scared. I didn't know if I'd ever see you again," I whispered.

His expression changed again, becoming more guarded. "It's not important right now. We need to keep moving." He looked around both sides of the corridor. The sounds of battle seemed to be getting closer. It must have expanded into the next hall. _I wonder how we're doing. I wonder where Draco and Narcissa are, _I thought suddenly, realizing that our side would probably not know that they had no choice in their being here.

"Alright, we can go," he said quietly to me, grabbing my hand once more and setting a quick pace.

"Where are we going?" I asked, seeing that he had clearly had a destination in mind.

"To Dumbledore," he replied without looking back. I didn't have a response, so I kept my mouth shut, looking back every once in a while to make sure we weren't being followed or attacked from behind.

"_If you go to Dumbledore, you will die," _I froze, causing Remus to nearly stumble at the unexpected halt in momentum.

"Ginevra?" he asked, concern evident.

"What?" I voiced out to Tom.

"What?" Remus asked, unsure of what was happening.

"Is that a threat, Tom?" I hissed after he didn't reply, already impatient and overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the past three days. Especially Tom's and my previous interaction. I really didn't need anything else. Remus held my hand tight, frowning even deeper, but didn't speak. He seemed to understand what was happening.

"_Do you think Dumbledore will allow a piece of me to stay in existence once Voldemort is destroyed? A piece of me that still has power and will? No. He will not." _

I narrowed my eyes to disapproving slits. "Dumbledore wouldn't―

"_Wouldn't what? Harm a student? Make a sacrifice for the greater good? Haven't you been wanting the answer to this question all year? What has he been keeping from you, Ginevra? Why has he been keeping you at such a distance? Because the moment he realized I was still there, he knew what eventually would have to be done. To rid the world of all Voldemort's influence, he would have to rid the world of all of Voldemort. For him to die completely, I also have to. Do you see?" _he explained impatiently.

I felt my stomach churn unpleasantly. Everything he said made sense no matter how badly I wanted it not to. So this is what it was. This is what Dumbledore didn't want me to know. _Oh god._

"Then get _out _of me! Go somewhere else!" I blurted out in a frustrated panic. "Why do _I_ have to die because _you_'ve taken up residence in _me_?"

Remus looked even more concerned. "Ginevra, what―

I let go of his hand, holding mine up to quiet him. I needed to hear what Tom was saying next.

"_Do you honestly believe I am still staying here by choice, girl? For the past five years we have been two souls living in one body, bleeding into each other._" I flinched at this, still unable to come to grips with Tom Riddle's soul bound irreversibly to mine. "_There is no longer a clean definition between the parts of us. We're too entangled now to separate." _There was a long pause of silence, filled in only by a piercing scream of pain in the background and more curses missing their targets, destroying walls and decorations. _"I'm not allowing it to happen, Ginevra." _

For a moment I didn't understand what he meant but then once again, I felt the awful tingling sensation of weightlessness. "No, Tom! Don't!" I cried, hopelessly, then fell out of control.

Remus grabbed my hand once more and I wished so dearly I could tell him it wasn't me anymore, but Tom was had full manipulation of my body once more. In a flash, he had my wand pointed at Remus' throat. "_Let go of my arm, wolf." _

"Let her go, Tom," Remus replied, keeping his voice even, though I could read the fear in his eyes.

"Leave him alone," I begged, "Tom, please!"

If I wasn't just a passenger in my own body, I would most definitely have let out a sigh of relief as Tom lowered my wand. "_Thank Ginevra for your protection. Don't follow me." _He commanded, in a distortion of my own voice, yanking my arm out of Remus' reach.

Tom turned back the way we came and left Remus standing in the middle of the corridor. I couldn't turn back to get a last look at him, but he shouted to Tom the exact words I'd been about to think to him.

"Where are you going?"

"_To kill him," _Tom replied with an excited hunger.

**TBC**

Author's note: Okay, sorry it's so short, but I needed to get this one out. I was having so many issues with it so eventually I just scrapped the first one and rewrote it! I'm thinking of going back and editing the last chapter though just because I don't think it made as much sense or was as climactic as I wanted it to be! I'll keep you posted! Anyways, leave a review, they're what make me happy :)


	27. Vengeance and More

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

Author's note: Just so everyone knows, I made a few edits to the last chapter because I know there was a bit of confusion, but hopefully that's better! Enjoy this bad boy, it's got a good ending, I swear hahahahahaha.

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

"Ginny!" two very different voices called out from across the smaller hall that Tom had brought us back into. By now the battle had mostly spilled into that room, which was no surprise as both doors to the main hall were completely blown apart. A large, burly, very awkward looking man followed by an equally small, mousy, awkward looking one charged up to me. Strangely too, both wearing the identical expression on their varied features. They ducked and dodged through the bodies that were still fighting furiously and stopped directly in front of me. Tom had stopped immediately when he heard my name called and kept his wand held, ready to cast a curse. With them in front of my face I could literally seeing their features rearranging into more familiar shapes. The shorter of the two began to grow, while the taller began to shrink. Both of their dark hair started to lighten and then take on a shade that far closer resembled mine. One look around the room at the transforming combatants was enough to show everyone that the Polyjuice potion was wearing off. Both of them looked to each other as if thinking to make a joke of the situation, but quickly decided that it was maybe not the time. All I wanted was to cry out and wrap my arms around my twin siblings who at one point I thought I would never see again. Tom on the other hand gave them a cold, blank stare, keeping my wand-arm raised. Their frank smiles both faded and they didn't attempt to double hug me as they normally would have. They knew something was wrong. Merlin, how I wanted to explain it all.

"Ginny, what are you still doing here?" George asked me with a deep, concerned frown.

"Moody told us that Professor Lupin had gotten you out of here to Dumbledore," Fred continued, equally disconcerted.

"Do not mention that name to me again," Tom hissed out of my mouth and before I could even scream out an unheard warning, Tom flicked my wand out and sent both of my beloved brothers flying backwards with a wordless spell.

"_Tom! _Don't you dare hurt my family, you bastard!" I screamed at him as loud as I mouthlessly could.

_"They were going to try and stop you from getting where I need to be," _he replied, no hint of remorse. I couldn't even believe the power of his hate for Dumbledore and all things related! He walked boldly through the center of the room, almost subconsciously deflecting the curses that were thrown at the Death Eaters who recognized me. A few tried to charge at us, but like my brothers all he had to do was send them flying with a flick of the wrist. Even I had to admit his magical abilities were far more powerful and refined then my own.

We entered back into the place that I wanted to be furthest from. The room that had been a beautiful ballroom now resembled nothing more than the battleground that it was. Holes had been blown into parts the walls. Scorch marks were visible on nearly every surface, caused by curses that had missed their marks. The lavishly decorated chandelier that couldn't have even fit in my room at the Burrow was smashed in the centre of the room on the marble floor and to top it all off, it was transformed into a burning pyre of devastatingly hot flames reaching out. I tried to keep it together as I saw bodies strewn everywhere. Some still moving, whimpering in pain, while others weren't so lucky. I couldn't stop myself from trying to futilely looking closely at each face, even as I was so frightened of the chance that someone from my family would be staring lifelessly back. My whole spirit nearly jumped out of my body when I actually did caught a glimpse of a redhead lying lifelessly in a pool of blood so dark it nearly looked black. My surge of horror must have distracted Tom because he stopped walking and my eyes were miraculously focusing on what _I _wanted to look at, the flash of hair I'd seen.

It was no one I knew. No one from my family. I wanted to sit down and cry from force of sheer relief. Tom didn't say anything, and turned his full attention back to his self-set mission to find Voldemort only seconds too late.

"CRUCIO!" a raspy female voice screamed out from our right side and Tom fell to the ground, convulsing in pain. I say Tom, because _I_ couldn't feel the curse. I could feel Tom's pain inside my head through whatever link we shared, but it was not my own and I was not a part of it. Let me tell you, it was a bizarre sensation. Tom's mind was filled with incredulity at being so weak as to suffer so much from a curse, but as it would seem, he had been living inside the protection of my own mind for so long that he no longer remembered what real pain was. _Well there it is, Tom. Try remembering what it was like to be human._

"I've got you now, you traitorous bitch," the owner of the raspy voice declared triumphantly with a demented cackle. As good as it felt to see Tom suffer for once, I still had to come to the grips that he _was _inside _my _body, so whatever screws it up is what I'm going to have to deal with later and thinking of that, it was very unfortunate that I knew that cackle. I came face to face with the deranged woman who it belonged to last year in the Department of Mysteries: Bellatrix Lestrange. She moved around so that she was looming over my face, snarling with dangerous malice. Her eyes glittering with violent insanity and she was bleeding from a missing piece of her left ear. I can't even begin to describe the bird's nest of apoplectic tangles on top of her head. She cackled madly again and reinforced her curse with another hiss of the Unforgivable. This time, thought delayed, I felt it. Oh, Merlin my blood felt like it was on fire, like it was boiling into angry, hot bubbles. I opened my mouth to scream and as the noise came out of my throat, I understood that Tom had lost his control, it was back to me. _How long can I go on playing this game with him? _I wondered as the pain slithered through my body like burning salamanders, crawling out through my skin and ebbing away out of my body as she ended the curse.

Bellatrix swooped down and was soon pinning me to the ground by straddling my chest with her knees holding both of my arms down. Even had my muscles not been completely beaten to hell by the Cruciatus Curse, and sleeping on stone for three days, _and_ getting head smashed onto a solid marble floor from an explosion, I probably wouldn't have been able to throw her off. I am an embarrassingly weak Quidditch player. Where was Tom's inhuman strength when I actually needed it?

"Not so mouthy anymore, are we? Not so eager to spout vicious, filthy lies about the Dark Lord when you're being cradled in the arms of death?" she sneered. "My Lord wants you dead, girly and I accept all responsibility in following my Lord's will _as law_," she tittered manically as she recited the line from the oath I'd just seen Draco partake. I tried once more to free my arms or at least reach my wand that Tom had dropped as he fell to the ground. She saw what I was after and threw it away into a distant pile of rubble. I snarled in fury, baring my teeth at her.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked, leaning in, pressing her lips to my ear. My heart was racing. Tom was still battling with the shock of pain that seemingly incapacitated him so I couldn't expect any help from him at the moment. And it was only when she backed away that I saw what she was intending to do. The blade she pulled out of her robes reflected in her eyes and I opened my mouth and let free my mortified scream. She grinned ferociously as she raised it high above her head with both hands, ready to plunge it straight into my heart and then a little further than that. My screams and her laughter mixed into one and I went nuts and tried my very best last effort to buck her off as I saw her bringing her arms down towards me.

"Immobulus!" the she-devil froze on top of me, with the blade stopped inches away from my flesh. I couldn't even move. I lay underneath her body, chest heaving in pain against her weight and the pounding adrenalin in my blood. Her eyes bore into mine and the sea of hatred churned murderously while she was frozen to the spot. My savoir came and pulled her off of me.

"Weasley, are you alright?"

"Malfoy?" I exclaimed, not even caring that my voice cracked with emotion. He offered a hand and helped me to my feet. We both stared at Bellatrix silently. I could practically feel her outrage and shock at the family betrayal.

"I'm sorry, Aunt," he said emotionlessly and then stunned her. I kicked the knife out of her hands for cautionary measure and stomped down on her wand and snapped it in two (this made me feel only sort of better). I looked over to Draco and noticed that he wasn't faring so well either. The left shoulder of his shirt was singed away showing burnt flesh underneath. His pale hair was flecked with blood and he was definitely favouring his left leg. On close inspection, his right eye was swollen and his right forearm was burnt too, as if from using it as a shield for his face.

"Where's your mother?" I asked, also concerned for the woman's fate having thought that the two of them would have stayed together.

"Tending to Adele Greengrass, I think she broke her femur. Weasley, where's your wand?" he asked. Suddenly feeling very vulnerable without it, I scanned the area, unsure exactly where it had landed. "Accio, Ginevra's wand."

I was happy to see it come flying back towards us. I caught it out of the air and thanked Draco, both for saving my heart from getting mutilated and for my wand. Though, when I felt the stickiness on the handle, I wiped it clean on my dress, ignoring the distaste I felt at seeing the red bloodstain coming off.

"Incarcerous!" I muttered after I got it all rubbed off, sending ropes from the tip a clean wand to bind Bellatrix. Draco and I shared a look, but no words were spoken.

"Weasley, you should really be getting out of here. You Know Who's on a warpath to find you and―

I acted just quick enough as I grabbed Draco and pushed him out of the way since I had the fortunate chance to see the line of purple flames shooting through the air towards us. I realized just how close a call it was when I twisted out of the way but still feeling the ripple of disturbed air as it flashed passed, and the heat of it against my bare arm. I recognized the curse well. Antonin Dolohov had used it on Hermione in the Department of Mysteries, nearly killing her and now he was trying to hit me with the same. _How do these people keep finding me, honestly?_

"Look what we have here!" he said with a disturbingly messed up grin. One of his teeth had been ripped out and blood from where it should have been had stained all his remaining teeth red. I didn't even want to think about how he'd lost it. "Little Malfoy, turned traitor to the cause. Daddy isn't going to be very happy with you, now is he, boy? And what's more, Ginevra Weasley! It's a good thing I found you, huh? I believe we still have a score to settle, don't we?"

Draco, regaining his balance moved so that he was slightly in front of me. At that moment, being still so shaken up about a certain weapon and organ of mine meeting, I didn't mind his added body of protection. "Dolohov, the Order is here. Dumbledore is leading them with Aurors as well. There's no way for any Death Eater to come out of this for the better. You should give up now, while there's still a chance. You might not even get the Kiss if you surrender yourself right now."

Dolohov just sneered. "Spoken like a true coward. Like father, like son. The Malfoys were always a weak, snivelling bunch. It's no wonder―

Draco whipped his wand up and shot a Conjunctivitus curse straight at Dolohov's face where his eyes began to swell and cause an immense burning sensation. Dolohov screamed in pain as he pressed his hand against his now blinded eyes. "Do not insult my family, Antonin." We weren't out of the clear yet though as he suddenly began firing off deadly curses in rapid succession at the direction he vaguely knew we were in.

"Crucio! Impedimenta! Crucio! Flagrate! Stupefy!" he wailed, sending bursting colours of light flying in every direction. I grabbed Draco's arm and we started running away from the enraged spell-spewing man. We ducked behind a few broken statues, but had to quickly get out of the way as an unlucky (for us) Reducto hit our makeshift shelter. Clearly his aim was improving, which suggested that his vision was slowly returning to him. "Avada Kedavra!" he screamed and both our hearts stopped as we saw the unmistakeable green glow sail passed us.

"Sectumsempra!" Draco shouted as he made a slashing movement through the air with his wand, hitting his target's arm with the cutting curse. The wound was deep and his renewed screams of pain were unnecessary to tell that it must have hurt beyond belief. Blood was pouring down his arm, and his face was getting visibly paler, even the red of his eyes. But Draco's curse had struck his right arm and Dolohov was left handed. He shot an unbelievably quick stunning spell and Draco hadn't had the time to get completely out of the way so he still got hit by the attack, but only on his left side. He fell to the ground, not fully stunned, but having great difficulty moving and remembering where he was. Dolohov laughed at his success in finally landing a hit, but he was having troubles breathing and his bleeding was not slowing.

"Crucio!" he hissed and it was only my Quidditch reflexes that got me flattened to the floor in time to not be struck again by the horrible curse.

"Stupefy!" I rolled and shot back, missing him by less than a foot, but had to go back on defensive as another Cruciatus Curse left his wand.

"Incarcerous!" I screamed, throwing more ropes from the tip of my wand, but he used a shielding charm to deflect them. The strain my body had been enduring over the last few days was definitely weighing heavily upon me, my throat was burning with the effort of taking in such rapid breaths. I had absolutely no idea how he was still standing, let alone keeping up such a furious pace. For all knew, his rage was all that was fuelling him on.

"Sectumsempra!" he returned, apparently having already mastered the spell from seeing Draco use it on him. I twisted as fast as I could out of the way, but I hesitated too long and felt my leg give out as the curse struck my thigh and cut in deeply. I was almost too shocked to feel any pain... almost. Blood was seeping out and I tried hopelessly to stem the flow by gathering up my dress and pressing it hard onto the wound. The pain I felt was nothing compared to the knowledge that I could no longer get away. Dolohov stopped throwing curses and began his approach with his bloodstained leer. "Expelliarmus!" he shouted as I raised my wand for one last attempt and it was magically pulled out of my hand and into his. I tried in vain to crawl backwards, anything to get some distance between the two of us.

"You know, I thought I recognized that look in your eyes, Ginevra Weasley. I believe your uncle Fabian had the exact same look on his face before I slit his throat." This little piece of family history was like I imagined that knife in my chest would have actually felt. My mother still cries over the tragic murder of her two brothers and the uncles I'd never met. Was this man going to leave her with one more hole in her heart?

The blood loss was doing a toll on the both of us, but due to my lack of walking abilities, I felt as if I was worse off. But even still, Dolohov stood over me with his wand half raised, trying to master the shakes of his uninjured wand-arm. His face was a ghostly white and his entire right side was covered in blood and dripping on the already stained floor. He was trying to take in large gasps of breath, too weary to keep up his nasty sneer. All his face read was a determination to carry this through.

I could see Draco lying still on the ground, recovering from the petrifying daze that had hit him. He wasn't going to be able to save me this time. No one was.

"Goodbye Weasley, I'll see you in hell," he breathed out with a laboured breath, raising his wand to full height with a steadied arm. "Avada..." he began and I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the look of satisfaction in his eyes as green light steals my soul away from its body. _Lucky him, he gets to kill me and Tom in one go, _I thought morbidly, then hoped for my life's sake that I could think of a better last thought than that. But time had run out.

"Kedavra!" I saw the green light through my closed eyelids and I said goodbye to the world. I started to wonder why I was still able to wonder, because I didn't feel anything. Apparently the Avada Kedavra Curse was supposed to be a painless death, but if so, why did my leg still burn? In fact, why did my whole body still feel exactly as it had moments ago. I opened my eyes, half expecting to see nothing but darkness, but there I was. In the same spot, surrounded by the same bodies. Dolohov was no longer standing above me and I had to look around to see him lying at my feet, my wand and his still clenched tight in his hands. He looked exactly the same except for the vacant, glassy expression on his still eyes. I looked around for an answer to my new circumstance and was almost expecting Draco to have come back to consciousness and saved my miserable self again, but he was still lying feet away, in that same motionless stupor. My ever searching eyes finally came to rest on the statuesque figure standing some distance away with his wand still extended in the air.

"Remus!" I shrieked, unable to believe just how lucky I'd been for maybe the sixth time since you'd been kidnapped. He slowly turned towards me and for a moment I was genuinely afraid at the lifelessness I saw in his eyes. It took me a moment, but I realized then that it was his voice I'd heard. He used the Avada Kedavra Curse to kill him. He killed him to protect me.

It took him a second to shake himself out of it, but finally got a grip on himself and hurried over to where I was lying. He didn't speak a word as he knelt down to inspect my leg. I was feeling lightheaded already, and having no particular stomach for blood and guts, it so happened that when he lifted up the hem of my dress dress to see the wound on my thigh, I caught one look at what I thought might be muscle and turned to the side to throw up.

"Ginevra, I'm not going to be able to heal this. Even if I was a healer, this must have been some dark magic," he sounded strained, and terribly anxious. I could see beads of sweat forming on his brow.

"It was the Sectumsempra Curse, I've never heard of it before," I replied in an uncontrollably meek voice.

A dark frown crossed Remus' face. "I'd need to get Snape, he'd know how to fix this. But here, let me bind it for now. Ferula!" he ended, pointing his wand at my leg so that the bandages that came out began to wrap tightly around the wound. The pressure stung and made my leg throb like mad, but just knowing the wound was contained for a while so I didn't bleed out and die right away made me feel just that little bit better. Remus pulled my dress down again, covering my legs. He took one look at my shoes and for the briefest of moments, a look of amusement flickered in his eyes. "How can you walk in these, let alone run?" he asked in honest bewilderment and unbuckled them from my feet, something I should definitely had stopped and thought to do. To realize now that I wouldn't have to do intense dodging dives on just my tip-toes and a heel stick, saying that I was relieved would be the most colossal understatement.

"Women can do wonderful things," I replied with the tiniest of smiles though, because I would like to see a man (my brothers, hopefully) run around in heels. He returned my little smile as best he could and all of a sudden the little glimpse of happiness at imagining my brothers in heels evolved into waves of emotion and thoughts of ever seeing my family again. You can only push the waves back so far before they grow to overcome you...

I gave in to my longing and need for physical contact. I leaned forward and pulled Remus into my arms, holding onto him for dear life. Just wanting a moment of holding onto something comforting and stable. He didn't resist as I buried my head in his shoulder and choked back sobs. He wrapped his arms around me back and held me tight.

"I don't think I can take any more. I can't take the fear, the horror, and the pain. I can't take thinking I've lost you, I can't take thinking my life is over, and I can't take having to do it all again!" I blurted, realizing how much I'd been containing since even before I got on the Hogwarts Express for Christmas break. He rested a hand comfortingly on the back of my head. "I don't even know how long I'm going to get to be in control of my body! What if Tom comes back now? What if he decides that you're in his way now too? I couldn't bear being responsible for him hurting you," I sniffled, trying hard not to let myself be overtaken by these recently overloaded pent up feelings.

"You aren't responsible for anything he does Ginevra," he replied quietly in a soothing tone. I couldn't get myself together enough to respond, so I just held onto him tighter, as if he were my only lifeline to this world.

After a few moments of silence, where I somehow managed to calm my breathing and still the fury of tears that were threatening to fall, I thought of opening my mouth to say something to Remus. Something to let him know how seriously he'd saved me. Not just now, but this entire year. I wanted him to know that I accepted everything about him, every little part of him, even the parts he couldn't accept himself. _Because, I don't know if I'm ever going to get another chance. _I opened my mouth, trying to find the opening words, but he interrupted my thoughts with some words of his own.

"It said that I love you," he said in the softest of voices that at first I almost didn't catch it. When the words from his mouth registered with meaning inside my head, I pulled back and stared at him wide eyed.

"What?" I replied, ashamed at the nervous breathlessness of my voice. He wasn't looking at my face, instead his big blue eyes were staring determinately down.

"The letter," he explained, "the one I left for you. What it said was that I loved you and that I was sorry for everything," he ended, raising his head as he said the word 'sorry', to finally look into my eyes.

Those were speaking volumes about all the emotions that must have been floating in his mind, but the most easily read one was the pleading. Pleading for me to say something, _anything_.

And I had so much inside that I wanted to express to him that my chest was nearly bursting with all the newfound joy in the horrors of our lives' current landscape, but words weren't coming out. I was completely speechless. On top of it all, I was having the great difficulty of stopping a fresh, slightly less furious, batch of tears from slipping out, but to no avail. Clearly I was not reacting appropriately because his arms loosened from around my back, every single feature on his face seemed to shiver with regret and he opened his mouth to say who knows what, but I finally arranged my visage into the appropriate expression of a full faced, albeit teary eyed smile. Before he could get any words out, I covered his lips with a soft, lingering kiss and pulled back just enough to say "me too."

His smile didn't even have time to fully form before he was holding me tight again, kissing me like I always dreamed but never thought he would. If only time would slow down and give us these brief moments alone together for the first and potentially last time, but time so rarely listens to anyone.

**TBC**

Author's note: Whoa, did anyone see that coming? I definitely didn't, ho geez... okay, well maybe I did... So that's what the letter said, and I hope you're satisfied. Blame Ginny for you not getting to know sooner! Haha, it's her fault, not mine. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, don't worry Draco lovers, he's just fine. He'll be back in like... five sentences when the next chapter starts, haha. So I know I have been a most unforgivably terrible, horrendous author, but since Remus loves Ginny I think you can all forgive me! But honestly, I just had so much trouble with the last chapter, I tried rewriting it a bunch of different ways but I eventually just kept coming back to what I already had, ugh, that's fanfiction for you. But I like it now I guess, kind of. So please leave some reviews, not to be a review monger but like, six reviews in total would be nice because it would be my first story with 100 reviews! Huzzah! Oh, and maybe to celebrate, I'll post another chapter rofl. See you next time, lovely folks!

Oh, and p.s. All the spells and curses and what-have-you are real, I didn't make them up, J.K. Rowling did.


	28. Resolve

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

"Remus, I'm scared," I admitted as I rested in his arms while he helped me stand. I turned around with a limp so that my face was merely inches away from his. He was my only support for the moment as I had to wrap my arm around the back of his neck to get my mangled self off the ground.

He looked at me with a very serious gaze, as if contemplating what to say. He lifted his free arm and wiped a bit of blood off the side of my face from the original injury on my head, almost without thinking. "Ginevra, you can fight it, fight him."

"What if I can't?" I asked in disbelief, though perhaps feeling a little more confident than I let on. I kept reminding myself that when I thought I saw someone from my family lying amongst the bodies, Tom had stopped and turned to look at what I wanted to see. But for a second it had felt like I'd been the one who controlled it, only for a second before he reasserted his power. This brought me to my second, more pressing thought. "He wants to kill Voldemort almost more than either of us can comprehend and I don't even know if I should try to stop him. What if he's strong enough to destroy Voldemort?"I questioned to Remus, having had this particular thought on my mind since I learned of Tom's intention.

"What if he isn't? What if he's simply leading you straight into Death's arms? The final battle was always supposed to be between Voldemort and Harry." He explained, and I could read in his eyes just how unbearable the idea of me facing off against Voldemort was.

"Do you believe he can really do it?" I asked softly, almost regretfully as I thought of Harry. I had a sick, dark feeling that if Harry met with Voldemort, he wouldn't succeed. I don't know whether it was that extra reassurance from Tom's mind, but I couldn't stop these thoughts.

Remus' expression nearly broke my heart as grief washed into every line of his beautiful face. "Harry's strong and brave and selfless. Albus believes that he's got it in him to finish this all off for good," he explained, avoiding my gaze just as he avoided answering my question. I didn't want to think about Dumbledore's beliefs at the moment though as _he_ at least was apparently all for my dying. I brought a hand up to Remus' cheek.

"What do _you _believe?" I asked again, he brought his eyes back into my focus and covered my hand with his own.

"I don't know, I don't know," he sighed. "It just seems like so much faith to place on a boy," he paused and we shared a look of deep understanding. "I was never really good at faith," he concluded with a sad sigh.

"I don't think there's any way out of this," I whispered, afraid of the brutal reality that came with those words. "Whether I agree with him or not, Tom's not going to let me go."

A look of loss and pain flickered over his face, a mirror to my own expression. Remus brought our clasped hands between us as he planted his lips on mine. We stayed like that for a beat, each wanting nothing more than to lose ourselves in each other, but fate would not allow it.

"Ahem," a voice coughed from somewhere on the ground to my left hand side. Remus and I broke apart to see a very incredulous looking, fully conscious Draco Malfoy. He was still sitting on the ground, but propping himself up with his not so burnt arm, staring at us with an unbelieving, yet partly amused expression. I had better chance of becoming Minister for Magic than stopping the blush from creeping across my cheeks. Draco was definitely not the first person I'd thought would know about Remus and I.

As neither of us could figure out anything to say, Draco began. "Well, I suppose Dolohov _didn't _kill us then? Wonderful!" something in his impossibly chipper tone made me have to raise a hand to my mouth and smother an unexpected giggle. Though, despite his light tone, I could see that he was suffering under a great strain, especially as I saw the crease of lines on his forehead as he reached the back of his head and evidently found the spot that connected with the damned marble floor. I could attest to its skull battering hardness.

"You should go help him," I whispered in Remus' ear. He gave me a look as if to ask if I would be alright and I nodded, giving his hand an extra squeeze of reassurance. He let go of me and walked over to Draco, kneeling at his side to examine his head for any signs of serious injury. I stood on my own, precariously favouring my left leg, clenching my teeth at the slightest weight on my injured thigh. I turned around to scan the ballroom for any threat of attack. This side of the hall seemed to have been abandoned for the other attached hall. I clenched my wand tight, but did not spot anyone alive in the near vicinity though I could still hear the unmistakeable sound of duelling, hidden from sight by the burning chandelier.

_"He's there, on the other side," _Tom explained to me, though I wasn't surprised. I'd been feeling his presence return to full strength ever since Remus had killed Dolohov. I also knew he was telling the truth. I could almost feel the monster myself. "_There's no way out of this, Ginevra. You said it yourself. You know I don't have to wait for you to make up your mind, but I owe you the decision since it was my fault for nearly letting Lestrange kill you." _he explained with an unmistakeable tone of shame. I didn't have to make the comment that his life was on the line as well, I knew he understood, but I understood something further. His absolute shame in nearly letting himself and me be destroyed by a _mere_ psychotic witch was to him, unforgivable. But he cared so little for forgiveness so essentially my choice was to decide if I could come to terms or not with the fact that he was going to take my body meat-packaging with him as went to kill Voldemort.

"Tom," I whispered, turning my back towards Remus and Draco so that they would not see me mouthing these words. "I don't think I can do it," I exclaimed, knowing that my choice was a mostly moral but potentially very selfish choice that would neither affect or change Tom's decision. But hell, I needed to at least feel like I had a say in something.

"_Why? Is your life worth the thousands that he will murder and enslave? All those innocent lives?" _he retorted.

"That isn't fair! You don't give a damn about any of those lives," I mutter through clenched teeth, trying not to raise my voice and alert the two behind me.

"_But you do," _he replied, deflating my anger at his manipulative tactics because I knew he was right. "_Potter doesn't have the strength in him, I have been watching him for years, Ginevra. _

"I don't have any strength in me either, Tom. I can barely walk," I explained frustrated, demonstrating by trying to put weight on the defective leg and nearly losing my footing with the only other good leg left. I already knew what he was going to say. Knowing and dreading the words that were going to fill my mind.

"_I will give you the strength. You've already seen the effects of my command of this body. You can't deny that my skills surpass your own." _It was true, I couldn't deny it and I hated him for it. Not able to resist, I turned to look over my shoulder at Remus as he was working on healing Draco's swollen eye.

"Will you give control back to me if you kill him?" I asked, barely loud enough for any ears to hear, but Tom wasn't using ears to understand what I was saying.

"_What choice do you have, Ginevra?" _Tom countered, giving me my answer. My lip trembled at the thought... what choice _did _I have?

"Ginevra?" Remus voice called from right behind me. I turned to see him standing there with a much improved looking Draco close behind. "What is it?" he asked, seeing my expression. Even Draco looked concerned.

"Remus," I began, though not sure where to go after that, I stared into his eyes with an uncontrolled look of regret and guilt.

He took another step towards me, shaking his head as if he already knew what I'd been trying to say. "No," he said firmly, eyes alight with desperation. "No. Don't do this," he begged, stepping forwards and grabbing onto both of my arms as if to stop me from leaving.

"I have to," I tried to explain, wishing just as hard as he that these words weren't coming out of my mouth. "I have to stop him," we both knew that I meant that Tom was the one who would be doing the deed, but in our circumstance, we were kind of a package deal.

"Then stop him! Right now, right here! Ginevra, I can't lose you after only just finding you," he pleaded, voice shivering with emotion. I knew just how he felt and it pained deep in my chest. I put my hands on his face, letting him see the tears streaking down mine.

"I love you Remus, I have since you asked me to have tea with you on the ride to Hogwarts," I smiled wistfully, recalling the distant memory. "I'm not going to say goodbye because I'm going to see you again." Somehow, someway, I was going to make this happen. I wished. "But I need to know you're going to be safe until then. Please, just get as far from here as you can, take Draco with you, find his mother, just don't come after me," I tried my very best to dissuade him, needing him to stay away from this final confrontation.

"Ginny, I don't think I can do that," he admitted and I understood. I knew just how hard it would have been for me to do what I was asking of him. But other than killing Voldemort, keeping Remus safe was my highest priority.

"I need you to promise," I replied, slowly building a strength to my resolve. A twitch of his head was the only response but it let me know that for now, he would follow my request. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I breathed in the sense of protection and peace I felt against his chest, wiping my eyes dry on the front of his shirt. There wasn't any more time for tears and Remus knew it too.

"I'm coming back for you," he breathed into my hair, holding one last kiss on my forehead. He let go of me slowly as soon as I began to slowly pull back.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," I replied with a poignant smile, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair away from his face. There was nothing left to say. We both knew it. Remus turned away to Draco, fighting against every bit of will that kept him there.

"Let's go," his voice was hoarse from reigning in all of his emotions.

"What?" Draco asked, having heard nothing of the quiet conversation we'd just had. He looked from Remus to me with a clear lack of comprehension. "Weasley, what are you doing?" _Good question_, I though humourlessly.

"Draco, get your family and get the hell out of here," I advised, locking eyes with Remus one last time before wrenching myself away.

Progress was slow as I hobbled pitifully along with a hardened determination, trying to put as much distance between myself and the love of my life before I had a change of heart and went running back to him. Bodies impeded my path on all sides, making my progress all that more difficult. I was almost sick again when I saw Tonks trying her best to save a fellow Auror from bleeding out of the amputated stump that had once been his right leg. Judging by the way she held his hand and cared for him, they must have been close friends, maybe even lovers. I had to look away from the scene before horror and grief weighed my heart to the ground. It was just another morbid reminder of why I was doing what I was doing.

I passed on the right side of the chandelier, wiping the film of sweat from my face as the heat assaulted me. I had to turn my head away once more as I saw a pair of charred legs sticking out from the base of the flames. Someone had still been under it as it fell. _Someone I might have known_. On this side of the hall battle was still raging, though numbers largely decreased. I was so relieved when I could see many familiar faces amongst the crowd of still able duelling pairs. Kingsley Shacklebolt was busy fighting a pair of amorous Death Eaters immediately to my left. The fierce power hidden beneath the ordinarily quiet and reserved man's surface would have been enough to intimidate me.

I caught a flash of the ever familiar red and spotted my mother and father together, overpowering Rabastan and his silver-handed brother, Rodolphus. From where I could see them, they were uninjured and a force to be seriously reckoned with. I sent a little prayer of love their way. I next turned and saw my brother Charlie going curse for curse with Avery, another Death Eater from the Department of Mysteries. My brother's familiar shinning scars rippled menacingly on his bared arms as he threw powerful attack after attack. I asked the Fates to smile on him as he battled for his life and those of his family and friends. I continued on, knowing that when I found Voldemort, Harry, Ron and Hermione would with him. I had to smile, thinking about how even now I was surrounded by family.

Tom was the first to spot _him_. I limped in the direction he was pointing me, and found them all. Voldemort and Harry were the only two standing in a large clearing free of other folks trying to kill each other. In the strange orange lighting provided by the central fire, Voldemort's eyes gleamed murderously. I could see Harry furiously deflecting a violent barrage of deadly hexes. The strain was obviously taking a toll on the boy. Sweat was pouring down his face in concentration, and his wand-arm shook from the effort to keep up his protective shield. Behind him, my brother and Hermione were acting as a shield for his vulnerable side during the duel; backs pointed to him so that they could defend both of his flanks. They had more than their work cut out for them as they fought off Nott's, Mulciber's, Yaxley's _and_ Crabbe's combined attacks. They weren't going to hold out for much longer.

I increased my strides in a renewed effort to get to our destination before it was too late for the three of them. I had to bite down on my tongue to stop myself from crying out at the pain throbbing out of my leg. I got to the edge of the open space: Voldemort to my right, Harry to my left.

I took a steadying breath while I had the chance before someone would notice me. I almost wished that someone would, just so I wouldn't have to go through with this.

"Voldemort," I began, my voice piercing through the cursing, blasting and wails of those slowly dying, or mourning, "I've come to finish what I didn't get a chance to start." I exclaimed, Tom's words flowing off my tongue.

So shocked at this unexpected challenge, Voldemort gave up his vicious onslaught, eyes narrowing to furious slits as he searched me out through the obscuring fog and flickering shadows. Harry's shaking arm could barely keep his wand up to defend himself any longer. I saw him stumble forward, concerned that he was going to fall, but he amazingly caught himself at the last moment, and then made as if ready to jump back into the fight. _So much courage, _I thought appraisingly.

_"But a complete imbecile," _Tom added, interrupting my gentle thoughts, reminding me that I had more important things to be doing. _Oh yeah._

"Harry, you need to get out of here!" I called hurriedly, watching as his eyes landed on me in surprise. I didn't hear his voice, but saw his lips saying my name in astonishment. Ron must have heard him though, because for a second his head snapped back, but a narrow miss from Mulciber brought him back in to his fight, distracting him once again. He and Hermione had now managed to incapacitate Yaxley. Nott was now up to his neck in trouble trying to avoid a spitfire of hexes from, to my amazement, McGonagall but Mulciber and Crabbe were still coming on strong.

"YOU!" I heard bellowing from my right side, having to will myself not to flinch at the total enmity of his voice. Harry still hadn't moved, but there was no more time to warn him back. "I will destroy you!" Voldemort screamed, losing any last bit of humanity left in his face as it contorted monstrously in unrestrained rage.

I managed to returned the force of his gaze, taking several encumbered steps to place myself between Harry and Tom's objective. Voldemort was trembling with fury as he watched me cross the space as a predator would watch his opponent in the battle for dominance.

"Ginny, _what are you doing?_" I heard Harry cry from behind me; he barely had enough breath in his body to get the words aloud .

"Harry," I began without looking back. A heavy detached calm seemed to be spreading curiously through my body as I continued. "_You_ need to help Ron and Hermione. I know what I'm doing," I reassured, too committed now to revaluate.

"It ends tonight," I said, directing my voice now to Voldemort. "Your reign is over, your castle overthrown. _I'm going to kill you._" I declared, Tom's and my voice becoming one for a brief instant as he came forward and I fell back. Tom took his duelling stance, familiarizing himself with the handicap that had been Antonin Dolohov's parting gift in this life. _I'm sure he would be proud._ I noticed with not much satisfaction though that he was standing not any more stable than I had been on the near lame limb.

As Voldemort took a mirrored stance (though perhaps less lamed), all I could do was hope that Harry had _at least_ worn him down _some_. After all, Tom and I weren't feeling so hot. Wands up, suspense building as neither made a move. Then all at once, many things happened. Tom stretched my lips into a sneer and Voldemort threw a curse, moving his arm faster than I would have been able to react. Someone in the background screamed my name.

Tom flicked the attack away as if it were nothing, infuriating his counterpart to no end. I had a sudden and fleeting image of how badass Tom must have been making me look to outside viewers.

Voldemort sent a volley of five or six consecutive wordless curses, all of which Tom deflected to one side or another. I was able to hear the sound of them connecting destructively with various parts of Malfoy Manor.

Taking the opportunity of Voldemort's temporary ceasefire, Tom threw three powerful hexes back at him. He managed to dodge the first two but had to throw up a hasty shield to protect himself from the third blast. It deflected off easily enough, but he was clearly shaken by having been caught off guard. It would probably be the last time he underestimated Tom's force or speed inside my body. _Same here,_ I thought, amazed at the blur of movement that had been my arm. Tom was clearly enjoying himself, though with further consideration, it would probably be because this was the first bit of real, murderous fun he'd had in like 50 years.

Voldemort and Tom stopped again, carefully considering each of their next moves. They simultaneously threw their attacks which met in the middle. Yellow light colliding with blue, showering the clearing with both coloured sparks. Neither hesitated to continue their torrent. C_learly_, because all kinds of dangerous things were still shooting out from the ends of their respective wands. I couldn't help myself from feeling like I was in a very precarious observer's position, but the fight must go on. Tom, impeded by the wound on my leg often had to cease his attack to throw up a shield, not being able to rely on swift footedness to keep him out of harm's reach.

Voldemort was picking up on this and tried madly to gain some headway by not allowing Tom to protect himself while firing back, but couldn't seem to push forward due to Tom's uncanny speed. Neither opponent seemed to be able to find the advantage they were looking for. I started to think that this fight might come down to pure luck or stamina. I was afraid of the latter though, knowing that my body was too recently abused for Tom to push to any miraculous limits. Tom must have known this too, because he was battling with a ferocity that led me to believe he was trying to finish this off as quickly as he could.

He managed to hit Voldemort's shield with a blast powerful enough to send him reeling backwards, giving Tom the opening he needed at last. I could feel my blood pulsing angrily through every little capillary, carrying the adrenalin that Tom's emotions were calling forth to every last appendage of my body. Tom hit Voldemort in the chest with the Cruciatus Curse, sending him down to his knees in silent agony.

Tom was basking in the torture he inflicted upon his broken half. He advanced upon his victim slowly, grinning sadistically as he fuelled the Unforgivable Curse with all his hate and malice. I swore I heard my mother's gasp and her crying out at the passionless display of cruel enjoyment at the persecution she saw her daughter committing, but I couldn't know for sure.

"_Take a close look at this filthy creature everyone. In a matter of minutes I have brought him to his knees in front of me," _Tom cried out in manic triumph, laughing sadistically as Voldemort screamed out in mad revulsion. His message caught the attention of most everyone in the hall, or so I guessed as there was a definite lag in battle sounds around us. I couldn't even imagine what Harry or my family must have been thinking as they saw me bend my head in close to Voldemort and whisper with a confident grin. "_Your rule is mine, Lord Voldemort. Your followers are mine, your legacy is mine and now, your life is mine as well. Goodbye, brother," _he finished with an energized declaration. My mind was in turmoil, I didn't know what to think. The point of getting rid of Voldemort wasn't so that Tom could overthrow his position, claiming it for himself! _This is all my fault, _I thought guilty, though unsure how I could have possibly stopped these events from unfolding. Maybe I should have thrown myself off the Astronomy Tower in seriousness. I knew then that he would have been killed, but even then, he would have stopped me just like he did before.

I could feel Tom preparing to release the Cruciatus Curse to end it, and I saw the only two paths my future held for me now: becoming a slave in my own body as Tom Riddle begins his quest for power and dominance all over again, or I could maybe still die at the hands of Voldemort. I thought of Remus and the nights I prayed for his love. _Why are you so cruel Fate?_ I though furiously._ Answering those prayers only so that you can rip me away from him, once and for all? _The sorrow of it nearly crushed my will to exist.I was brought quite suddenly back to the situation at hand though, by a most jarring noise.

A chilling laughter filled the room. It was coming directly from the body slumped over in apparent pain at the end of my wand. A disquieted Tom frowned in displeasure. The laughter grew and grew, more psychotic by the second. Tom reinforced the Cruciatus Curse with a renewed vengeance. Voldemort quivered spastically on the floor, great peals of shrieking laughter pouring from his throat still. "_What are you laughing at, dog?" _Tom hissed with my voice, controlling my vocal chords to produce an unfamiliarly menacing tone.

"Tom, don't get distracted," I insisted suddenly with an awful sense of foreboding. Something terrible was going to happen if Tom didn't keep his guard up, especially now. Voldemort's deranged laughter calmed to a soft, rather uncomforting chuckle.

Tom raised my wand to cast the final curse and could almost feel the hall holding its breath. "_Ava_―_aaahh!"_ Tom howled unexpectedly in my pitiful girly shriek, stepping backwards much too late as Voldemort lashed out with his left hand. I cried out silently in alarm, obviously much too late to warn Tom as I saw the silver flashing in Voldemort's skeletal hand. Tom pressed an automatic hand down to my ribs where a line of burning pain cut into the layer of flesh. The hand came away with a red line of blood. Tom's reflexes disarmed Voldemort's unconcealed knife in fury before the freaking snake-man could strike again. _I wonder where all these crazies get goddamn hidden knives from?_ I could tell that the wound was relatively superficial, but a sick, uncharacteristic heat seemed to spread forth from it. Voldemort was getting back to his feet, leering in accomplishment. Tom stumbled another awkward step back, suddenly growing fearfully wary.

The pain was travelling through my blood. Tom pressed another hand on the wound, looking down at it dumbfounded. He was also beginning to realize that something was seriously wrong. I could see the slice Voldemort's blade had made through the dress and across my ribcage. It only cut through maybe the first few layers of skin, enough to draw a sufficient amount of blood. Not a life threatening cut, or even debilitating. That is, if it weren't for the angry red flesh surrounding it.

"The poison is derived from a rare venom taken out of my ever loyal, Nagini," he explained calmly, as if he hadn't just been at Tom's mercy. _Oh thank you, that's a useful bit of trivia for me now, _"You can feel it already, the fire in your blood, the crawling tremors making their way to your arms," Tom and I sure did feel it all and we shared the fear. He took another step back, struggling to keep a raised wand. An _un_natural weakness began to take over my limbs.

Voldemort extended his open hand to the ground, summoning his wand without a word into his grip. It shot off the ground by his feet to his awaiting clutches. "You only have minutes before it paralyzes you. You see," he continued the lesson, with some sort of demented, unconcealed excitement, "Nagini feeds on her victims while they are alive." I knew all too well that he was telling the truth. I was deeply disturbed. "She likes the warmth of their blood as she drinks it in," he added, advancing upon us, closing in for the kill.

"Ginny!" Harry's voice called once more in panic. "Get out of there; he's going to _murder _you!" I could see him running towards me from the side. All I wanted to do was scream at him to stop being such a bloody hero and get the hell out of there while he still could. I was pretty sure that no one had to tell _me _Voldemort was going to murder me. I'd pretty much caught on to that. I could see Voldemort's eyes narrow in on him as well and I saw him begin to raise his wand.

Before Harry, Voldemort or I even had a chance to react, Tom sent him flying backwards with a burst of energy. "Stay out of this, Potter!" he snarled with unexpected vehemence. No one was going to come between him and his opponent, paralyzing toxin or not.

Voldemort, subduing the momentary flash of infuriation, began to laugh once more. "You truly believe that you still have a chance? How very―

His words were cut off by a renewed attack from Tom. The new volley of spells didn't last for very long, but the strain on Voldemort's face was enough to suggest their power. Tom had to stop though, panting furiously to regain his breath. The venom was taking a hard toll on my body, and he was struggling savagely against it. It was reaching the lungs, soon he would be breathing in our last breath.

I couldn't believe how apparent it was that Voldemort had needed this time to recover as well. Even in spite of his bravado, Tom had weakened him greatly. I could see his chest heaving as he inhaled great mouthfuls of air. There was a thin sheen of sweat on his pale, hairless face. Both exchanged hostile gazes, neither willing to break the boiling connection. _This is it_, I realized with an infallible certainty. The next curse was life or death for one of them. In a moment or two, my fate would be decided, but by who? Seeing Voldemort's exhaustion had woken something deep inside my mind.

I caught a sudden glimpse of movement to my right. Tom's eyes flickered to what had distracted me and I could feel my whole being swell with warmth and deep, deep regret. Remus was struggling hard against Severus Snape's restraining hands trying desperately to get to me, to certainly try to protect me from what he sensed as well. I couldn't even describe the feelings I felt at seeing him there fighting at the end of it all, but I wished for his sake he hadn't come back. Knowing what was about to happen, knowing what I was considering doing. Knowing that I was breaking my promise that we would be together again. _He's already lost so much..._ I was not able to spare any tears for the love of my life.

Tom began to raise my wand and across the way Voldemort did the same. I sent another prayer of love out to Remus, to my parents and my brothers, to Harry and Hermione and everyone else I knew who was fighting for their lives and that was all I had time for.

"**Avada Kedavra**!" Voldemort screamed.

"_**Avada Kedavra!**_" Tom shouted, though the only one in the world who could hear his voice was me.

'You can fight him,' Remus had said to me earlier, and so that's exactly what I did with my limited force for those brief, crucial seconds. Tom became a prisoner in my body once again as I held the two of us in place. He screamed in inhuman desperation as the surprisingly cool green light wrapped itself around us. The last image I saw was Remus' mouth wide in horror, eyes uncomprehending. I felt my mind ripping in two until, at last, the relief of oblivion swept me away to what could only be my final rest.

**TBC**

Author's note: Yeah, try to figure that one out! If you're fretting over _why _Ginny would have made such a devastating sacrifice before Tom had the chance to finally rid the world of Voldemort, you'll just have to tune in to my next chapter! I hope it made sense though, that Ginny could only take over Tom for such a brief, minute period of time, otherwise she would have just let him kill Voldemort, then she would kick him out! So please leave some reviews, especially if that just blew your mind because they make me do this face :D.

P.s. I had originally posted this chapter with it ending with Tom saying "Goodbye, brother," but when I was writing the next chapter, which I knew was going to end where I finally ended this one, I realized it would have been like... a two page chapter, so that wouldn't have been very space economic.


	29. Alright

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**VERY VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE!:** If you read the last chapter before I added on to the ending, you need to go back RIGHT NOW and read it before you go any further. If you remembering it ending with Tom about to curse Voldemort, you have missed a big chunk, and I'm sorry because that was my fault! If not, ignore this very, _very_ important notice haha.

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

_I don't even have enough left inside of me to blink open my eyelids, _was my very first thought when I sensed that I still had eyelids. Where ever I was, it felt a lot more confusing then where I could remember being. I couldn't move my body, or even really feel much of it; I just had a vague consciousness of it being there. I felt sort of weightless and I could feel my body swaying, as if softly cradled. Parts of me were hot, and parts were cold, but I couldn't really tell you which was which. Light flickered on my eyes causing bizarre patterns in the darkness. And there was a curious noise, but muffled and distant. I remembered seeing an awfully sad picture show in Muggle Studies about young children in a world where adults couldn't speak the same language. The noises sounded like that murmuring, wobbling noise they made instead and I couldn't possibly figure out why anything should ever sound like that. The more I focused, trying to attach any sort of meaning to it, I could almost swear I could understand snatches of it. I thought I heard my name, but it was choppy, indistinct. I thought another word sounded kind of like 'gone' which made sense, because I was pretty sure I wasn't anywhere. I finally could pick out separate strings of what were most definitely words.

"Arthur, not my baby. Not my baby girl!"

"Ron, there was nothing you could have done."

"Without her, we wouldn't have been able to―"

"Charlie, you should find the rest of your b-brothers."

"What about Harry? Is he a-alright?"

So many names, I knew them all well as they were very dear to me. But the snippets of words didn't make any sense. Nothing much did. Each voice sounded so familiar.

"Severus is caring for him now, Hermione's with him."

"Albus, what―?"

" ―it's too late."

"Should we―?"

"―things are complicated."

There was another voice. It sounded different, closer, almost on top of me. I wanted to move towards the soft warmth I recognized in the sounds of this voice.

"Ginny, no, you can't be dead. Why didn't you move?" this voice repeated in a painfully heart-wrenching, rhythmic daze. I was comforted though, realizing that it was the explanation I'd been search for.

"So I did die," I replied softly, answering out to the voice in the darkness. But as the prickling feeling of nerves beginning to fire awoke a consciousness inside my dormant body, my eyes blinked open and the darkness began to melt away. There were shadows, smears of colour: oranges, reds and grays. An indistinct silhouette above me began to take form. The rocking sway stopped and my body stilled. For a moment I thought my hearing had been taken away as all the voices ceased to continue.

The shadows began to finally clear away and I was staring into the depths of those familiar eyes on that familiar face. "Remus," I said with a soft whisper and a smile, barely moving my lips.I so nearly didn't have enough strength to move my throat but I was simply so happy to get to look on his loving face again, "what are you doing here?" I could only stare into those beautiful, tearstained eyes; my body unable to do much else.

"Ginny?" he asked, his voice catching as he tried to continue, so he cleared his throat to cry out in shocked disbelief. "You're alive?" he whispered, as if putting the question to reality itself.

"I am?" I asked with a laboured breath of absolute amazement. I was pretty sure that that couldn't have been possible. I wanted to lift an arm to feel his face in my hand, but it was weak and my hand could only raise high enough to grab onto the front of his shirt.

"Ginny!" he exclaimed with a start, giving me a slight shake in the process. "You're alive!" he cried, lifting my decidedly inert body closer to him. A great clamour of voices erupted behind me. Too many to discern from another.

"I am?" I ask again, more desperately, voice wavering as I began to accept the possibility that my whole world and everything I knew may not have been ripped away from me. _But how?_ "Remus?" I sob as he leaned in, planting a kiss on every little surface of my face repeating a 'thank you' between each, his tears mixing with my own. I wanted to pull him close and return every single one but no part of me was willing to listen.

"You're alive," he whispered again, pressing his forehead to mine as he closed his eyes, blinking tears of his own onto my already tear stained face.

_I'm alive, _I thought, not quite understanding. _This shouldn't be._ I reached out in my mind, searching for Tom, wanting him to explain, wanting to not be so lost anymore. I reached out inside, wanting to touch against the link that connected us both, but when I pressed in... nothing. There was no link, no connection. Nothing. No one. Tom was gone. My mind was empty. I was alone.

I opened my mouth to cry out in alarm, but my heart was fluttering, I tried to take in deep lungs of air, but couldn't seem to bring in enough. It was just too much. Remus moved his head back, sensing something was wrong. "Remus," I breathed, weakly trying to get the words out. The world was swimming around me, lights flickering in front of my eyes. I was going to faint. "I can't... I need to―" Remus' face drowned in concern as my vision died and I was lost in a world of fog and forgetfulness. Someone new was leaning to my other side, but I was already gone by the time they began to speak.

...

I awoke once more on a soft surface, feeling much better than I originally had. The world came back to me quite suddenly, memories ordering themselves right up until I thought I should have died. I was not in the hall of the final battle anymore, but in a sitting room of sorts. I was lying on a couch in the middle of the large room filled with many other casualties of the battle. Make shift stretchers and beds were sporadically spread out on the floor. Witches and wizards who were still able we're tending to the wounded. I sat up as I became suddenly aware of someone tending to the wound on _my_ leg. I was too surprised at the moment to question my renewed ability to move.

His head was bent over as he muttered soft spells of healing that I had never heard before, over my open wound. He did not seem to notice my awakening as he was deep in concentration. I did not need to see his face or even his magnificent white beard to recognize Albus Dumbledore. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out. What could I say? I watched as the skin and muscle beneath his wand began to knit back together, slowly and painfully. I wanted nothing more than to reach down and itch my prickling flesh. We both stared apparently transfixed as the violent tear through my limb became nothing more than an angry red mark across my thigh. The itching still remained though and it took all of my will not to reach down and claw at the new layers of skin.

"It will take some weeks before full mobility returns to this leg, but it will be good as new," Dumbledore explained suddenly, giving me a fright as he turned to look me in the eye. I hadn't thought he knew I was awake. I didn't know what to say in response, but the relief must have shown on my face. Ever since I'd first fallen from the blow, I had not wanted to think of the possible permanence of the damage. "Your paralysis from the toxin on Voldemort's blade has been cleaned from your system," upon seeing my bewildered expression he retrieved a miniscule glass phial from inside his robe and held it up for you to see. "Not everyone is able to draw a tear from a phoenix, Miss Weasley, but Fawkes gave up three when he sensed your ailment. For a while there, we did not believe we had gotten to you in time," he continued. I felt a warmth of emotion spread through me at the thought of his beloved phoenix. I looked down at the slash in my chest and was a little surprised to see that the phoenix tear had not healed the wound itself. Once more, Dumbledore had the explanation ready.

"The blade was doubly cursed, Miss Weasley. It will not heal by magic or remedy. Only time will mend a wound of that sort. Lucky for us, it was not a mortal injury and now free of poison, will also heal." I was relieved as well by this news, but my expression turned to a flinch as the air was riddled with shrieks of pain from a young woman being tended to on the opposite end of the room. Dumbledore's eye's never left mine.

"What happened?" I asked softly, with hesitation. There was so much that I wanted to ask, but I had to fit it all into that one question. _Where is my family? What happened to Harry? Is Voldemort alive or once and for all dead? Where is Tom? How am I still alive? _These thoughts all raced through my head, but Dumbledore looked at me with complete understanding. _Where is Remus?_

"Voldemort has been destroyed, he has met his final end," Dumbledore began. "When you allowed the Avada Kedavra curse to consume you, do you know what happened, Miss Weasley?" I wasn't surprised at all that he knew it had been me that stayed Tom's hand at the last moment. I shook my head though in response to his question, I still couldn't comprehend what had happened next.

"Am I right to think that you can no longer feel Tom Riddle's presence inside yourself?" I didn't have to react for him to know this was so, but for some reason my eyes began to tear up and my lip trembled. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I nodded in confirmation. He looked on me with great sympathy and continued.

"When the curse approached, the piece of Tom Riddle that resided within your body tried in one last futile attempt to flee. Though his soul was now bound so closely to your own, he could not release himself. As his spirit was pulling as hard as it could away from your body, the killing curse struck, ripping him, eager to be gone, away from you. You very likely would have felt the actual moment when this happened." I remembered it, the feeling as if my mind had been torn into two. "As his essence was pulled away, it sent your own careening back into your body. Souls are very strongly attracted to their bodies, Miss Weasley, so at the moment when it was empty of Tom's extra presence, your spirit clung ever more tightly, being alone in its proper place for the first time in five years," Dumbledore paused for a long moment, giving me time to absorb what he was telling me. "When the bit of himself left in you was destroyed, Voldemort was greatly weakened; much to his absolute horror, you can imagine. Harry and he duelled very briefly until Harry gained the upper-hand and shot the final curse, ridding the world, at last of Lord Voldemort," he concluded and remained in a calm silence, waiting again for me to come to terms with all that had happened before I'd regained a consciousness. I felt a blazing pride for Harry having done it at last.

"I knew Harry would manage Voldemort once Tom and I were gone. There was no way I could have put it on him, or anyone to have to destroy Tom when Voldemort was defeated," I murmured, putting reason to my actions, mostly for myself. I looked back up and caught something I couldn't identify in his gaze. "Now that he's gone completely, you don't have to put it on yourself either," I added with a hitch in my voice as I tried not to look and sound too mortified at what Tom revealed my Headmaster had been planning on doing all along.

"What do you mean to say, Miss Weasley?" he asked with a steady voice, but there was still some caution lurking in those luminous blue eyes.

I had to swallow a few times before I could continue and elaborate. "Tom told me what you've been keeping from me. What you forbade Professor Snape and McGonagall from telling me that morning in your office." I had to look away once more as I didn't want my tears to fall. I was having a lot of trouble keeping my emotions from overflowing; it was hard for me to be talking about this. Albus Dumbledore and I may have had some trust issues this past year, but he was still a man I'd always revered. He was my leader and teacher since I was a little school girl. He was like a distant great-grandfather. To learn of his premeditation of my death for the greater good had hurt worse than any blade could cut, poisoned or not. The sacrifice was necessary, I understood that or I wouldn't have made it myself, but to have it so painstakingly kept from me... it was a betrayal.

"You believe that I was going to kill you," he exclaimed softly, with a deep pain in his voice. My eyes meant to simply flicker over his, but as I saw my own tears mirrored back in his eyes, my gaze was held. His entire face was weighed down with guilt and wretchedness. My throat started to ache as I held back the tide of grief that threatened to overtake me. "Ginevra, I am so sorry for everything you have gone through this past year, past _five_ years. I can't begin to show you the remorse and shame I feel now over the decisions I have made. You we're right to loathe and criticize me for withholding my suspicions from you until this October. Again, your anger on the night of Halloween was also deserved as you discovered that once more I was keeping something from you. Whatever emotions or accusations you still have for me when I'm finished letting you in will be more than welcome, but for now please here me out," he gave a world-weary sigh after his plead and for the first time ever I began to see Dumbledore as an old man. It was sometimes easy to forget that Dumbledore had had to grow into the man he was now and had not simply arrived on earth, formidable and wise. I gave a quick sign to continue.

"Ginevra, whatever Tom Riddle had convinced you of, I assure you that I have never meant you harm, Tom or not. In October when I first became aware of how strong he'd gotten, thriving inside of you, I knew at once that he would begin searching for his other half, wanting to become one once more." I nodded in agreement, knowing from experience that this was true. "From what you told me, Tom believed Voldemort was searching him out, looking for a way to bring himself back together as a whole. When I found this out my withholding began once more. I knew immediately that Tom was mistaken. Voldemort did not want to rejoin with Tom Riddle. He despised that piece of himself more than any other on earth. He wanted to destroy it, going so far as to cut a piece of his very soul out of himself when he was a young man."

"You _knew_ that Voldemort only wanted Tom and me to kill us? Why did you let him continue his belief? I don't understand," I admitted, suddenly feeling a renewed exhaustion take over my body. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten or slept. I wanted Remus back by my side. I wanted to go home. But all these wishes had to wait because I knew what Dumbledore was telling me weighed as heavily on his heart as it did on mine.

"How did Tom react when he finally found out the truth?" he inquired, thought I suspected he already knew.

"I've never felt such rage," I admitted freely, "All he wanted was vengeance, to end Voldemort once and for all." I began to understand what Dumbledore was trying to tell me. "You knew he would want retribution."

Dumbledore stared at me frankly, reaching up to adjust his half-moon spectacles. "Ginevra, I knew that when Tom learned of Voldemort's intentions, he would grow powerful with a lust for retribution. I knew that he would be able to exert his control over your body once again as he had in your first year and he would seek out his other half. It was my belief then that Tom would be subdued with the knowledge that his own other half would be searching _him_ out. Remaining impassive inside of you, he would be leaving you under my protection within the school. I grossly underestimated Voldemort's longing to be rid of this last shred of Tom Riddle. I did not expect him to make his move so soon, especially not under so many watchful eyes on the Hogwarts Express. The greatest fault here lies in my own misjudgement," he concluded humbly, looking to me for a reaction. Perhaps forgiveness. It all made sense and I did not have it in me to doubt his words. I felt ashamed again at how easily I'd allowed myself to mistrust those who tried to protect me.

There was a flurry of activity going on behind Dumbledore's shoulder and I had to concentrate with every fibre of my being to push the moans and wails of pain from fallen combatants to the background of my mind.

"The spy in the school," I exclaimed suddenly, having forgotten through all the distractions, "it was Stephen Claude. He made to show me a gift for Hermione, but it was a Portkey bracelet."I remembered the moment with shame; I had been so easily taken in by his falsehood. I didn't know how much they already knew, but I figured Snape must have had some idea about what had happened or they wouldn't have been here in time to save my sorry self. I was amazed again to see the deep expression of sorrow covering his face.

"Yes, we found out what had happened as soon as the both of you left the train. There are wards on board that sound an alert upon any unexpected passenger boarding or departing. Claude must have been aware of these because he did not dare risk attempting to Portkey back onto the train after his task had been completed." I thought about this for a long time. I knew that I wanted to see him again, talk to him face to face. I had a strong need to understand why he'd done what he did. _Why..._

"Ginevra, I do not believe there is a single soul on Earth who would be able to make clear Stephen Claude's motivation," he interjected, as if having read my thoughts. I realized that he must have done so, but did not have it in me to care at the moment for these were not thoughts I cared to make private and I knew that Dumbledore understood that. "The part of him that carried out these actions against you was buried deep inside, somewhere he kept apart from the rest of himself in a place no person could reach. Not even his closest friends, or his Head of House or even I would have been able to breech that dark, secret corner," he finished remorsefully. I recognized the pain that he felt. Dumbledore believed in the inherit goodness of every individual and no person could ever deny the love Albus Dumbledore held for his students. It was a great blow to the man, especially from a student he so clearly believed in and trusted. It was, after all, his decision to appoint Stephen as Head Boy above all other students in their final year.

"Where is he now?" I asked quietly, wondering what would happen to the boy.

I was able to read the words in his eyes before he even spoke them. "His body was found amongst the dead." I had to bite my lip to stop the tears from falling for the boy I thought I knew who never really existed. But my pain would be nothing compared to those of others.

"Does Hermione know?"

"Yes, she had taken in the knowledge with great difficulty but your brother has been a great comfort and friend for her these past few days." We shared a brief knowing smile that lasted but a moment.

"What of my family, are they... are they alright?"

"They are well and dearly wishing to see you, but I have asked them to give me a few moments with you so that I would be able to answer any questions you have and heal your wounds." I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "But your brother George," he continued and my heart nearly stopped. _What happened to him! _"He suffered from a cutting curse and lost an ear." I felt sick.

"Is he...?"

"Otherwise, he is fine. In fact, of your whole family, he seems the least concerned by his injury. He thought your mother would be pleased for now she will be able to tell him apart from Fred." I had to smile, _he's going to be alright_. _We all are. _It was almost a shock just thinking those words.

"Professor?" I began, hesitating for a moment. He looked at me inquisitively but I sensed he knew what I wanted to ask. "Where is Remus?"

Albus Dumbledore sighed.

**TBC**

Author's note: Well hey there. I know that was a lot of dialogue to read, but it all had to be said eventually! I hope you liked this one and it clears stuff up for you guys! Thanks so much for all the reviews, it's getting to be the end of the story, I can only imagine maybe one more chapter. Love you all! Please be kind, lovely people and tell me what you think! Until next time, folks!


	30. Time Ahead

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world... If I owned Remus Lupin, I would definitely be doing something more interesting than writing some fanfiction. ;)

**Chapter Thirty**

I waited patiently for Dumbledore to begin because I could tell that he had something to say but was building up to getting the words out. He brought a hand up to rub some of the frowning lines out of his forehead reminding me strongly of my father these last few years.

"Ginevra," he began with a tone suggesting him knowing I was not going to enjoy what he was going to say, "I understand that the relationship between yourself and Professor Lupin has perhaps become―

"Inappropriate?" I interrupted, knowing already where the conversation was going. It was hard not to fantasize about being with a man who was over twice your age and most importantly one of your _teachers _without being able to find justification for why none of that mattered_. _Dumbledore's expression had not changed as he waited for me to continue. "The wizarding world has been fighting the war against Voldemort for nearly thirty years.This has not only been a war against the evil in one man's heart, or even many men; this has been a war against terror, hate, discrimination and separation." Dumbledore gave me such a penetrating, contemplative stare that at that moment I understood we were truly equals. "What was the point of fighting, or where is the proof that the war has been won if in the end," I took a steadying breath before continuing, "if in the end good still doesn't triumph and something so unpredictable and uncontrollable as love is still regulated by guidelines?"

I could make out the deepening of lines on his forehead. Despite his intentions, I was getting through to him. He opened his mouth but I didn't want to lose this chance. "I am not a fool; I do not expect the world to suddenly become an easy place." I explained, wanting him to accept the fact that I did not expect my life to turn out like a fairytale for children. "I am not a child, though my age seems to count strongly against me. I couldn't be one after everything that has happened." _How could I be?_ "Remus has already lived more than two of my lives. He has suffered through loss and punishment for circumstances that were never in his control and at the end of it all, somehow him and I have found each other at the same place in our lives. Found ourselves needing each other as much as we are needed." I struggled to keep a straight face, even if it meant ignoring the tears that fell. I'd never admitted to anyone how badly I needed Remus, not even to him. It was a hard thing to get out and I had to get Dumbledore to understand that there wouldn't have been any point in my coming back to life if it was going to be one without him again.

Dumbledore regarded me with kind but weary eyes as I wiped the salty drops off of my cheeks. "Have you ever been in love, Professor?" I asked quietly, deciding to go in a new direction.

I swore I heard the softest of sighs and for a moment I believed he wouldn't answer. "A long time ago, Ginevra, before even your parents were alive."

"Did you know what it felt like to have the world pressing against you?" I asked, unsure if he would catch just what I meant. He stared at me through his half-moon spectacles, contemplating for the longest time how he should answer.

"I did," he breathed out with a great weight. I could see his eyes flickering with memories long since passed and emotions that could still be brought suddenly to the surface. I knew then and there that I was coming out on top.

"What would you say to that self now, if given the chance? Would you tell him to accept fate and the impression of others as you would me, or would you tell him to fight?"

He considered my words with great care and was on the verge of answering before our quiet conversation was interrupted.

"Albus!" cried Tonks as she ran towards us. Her hands, front and face were covered in a glossy sheen of fresh blood that clearly wasn't hers. "I'm so sorry, I k-know you're busy but p-please," she begged, having great difficulty controlling the hysteria that was fighting to break loose. I'd never seen the normally bright and bubbly woman look so distraught. "Michael's leg isn't healing, the wound won't close! He's b-bleeding out and we've tried everything!" I knew at once who Michael was and felt my stomach churn as I recalled seeing the stump of his severed leg. "I didn't want to bother you but we can't... I-I-I―" she broke into sobs before she could finish.

Albus stood, placing a comforting hand on her arm. "Show me where he is, Nymphadora," her voice cracked so that her thanks came out without a sound. She turned and hurried to an adjoining room where I'd heard screams of pain minutes earlier.

Before following, Dumbledore turned back to me and said "Ginevra, please stay here and we can finish our conversation." With that he was gone and I was left alone. I closed my eyes and gave a silent prayer to Tonks and the Michael I had never met but who was clearly close to her heart.

I opened them again to look around the room, trying to find any familiar faces, either among the injured or healers, but I did not find any. I wondered where George was and how he was doing.

My body was stiff and begging to be stretched, as was my impatience at not being able to find anything out about my parents, my siblings, my friends or Remus. So when I stood, it was only with a small amount of guilt that I plotted my path out of the room.

I originally had every intention of listening to my Headmaster's request, but sometimes intentions don't always pan out the way you intended them to. I stood shakily on my still weak leg, pausing to reassure myself that Dumbledore was completely occupied for long enough to limp my sorry butt out of the makeshift infirmary without being seen. It was fortunate in an unfortunate way that many people were rushing around in as rough or worse shape than I was because nobody gave me a second glance as I exited.

I passed a floor length mirror with cracks running every which way through its reflective surface. My shattered image was a disaster, and not because of the mirror's misfortunes, but my own. My hair had fallen out of Narcissa's elaborate pins and hung limply about my shoulders. The makeup she'd painstakingly applied was smeared about my eyes from my tears and sweat. I had a great streak of blood running down the side of my face; though on closer inspection I saw that the wound it must have originated from had been healed. I wiped at my eyes with thumbs, attempting to at least not look like a bloodied tramp. It was the best I could do at the time being. My dress was sort of completely destroyed. Both of the sleeves had been torn some time during my life-or-death dodging. The open tear from the poisoned knife revealed the bottom of my bra, my ribs and most of my abdomen while Dumbledore's bandage hid the actual wound. The hit to my thigh had torn out a half of the skirt; whatever was left held on by a few crucial threads and was dragging behind me. I ripped it off so that it wouldn't catch on anything else, otherwise it would trail behind me collecting blood and filth. I'd really had enough of both. The midnight blue was sporting some dark patches of my nearly dried blood and I let out a sigh. _And it had been such a gorgeous dress, _the girl in me couldn't help being a little sad.

Before I turned away to continue my search for anyone familiar, I saw a very welcomed flash of hair charging towards me in the mirror. I flipped around just in time to be crushed in my brother's monstrous arms.

"Ron!" I cried as he picked me up off the ground and spun me for a moment. We were laughing, and crying, just happy to see each other again. Just happy to be alive. Finally he put me down, a little worse for wear and extremely dizzy. I gave him the once over, happy to see he wasn't too bloody or beat up, a little singed maybe, but all in one piece. I turned to see a beaming Harry and to my great surprise, a panic-stricken Hermione.

"Hermione?" I asked, having expected this confrontation since, well, since I'd been kidnapped.

"Ginny, I'm so sorry," she whispered. I could see her lips trembling as she held back her sobs. "It's all my fault, if I hadn't... if, if S-S-Stephen―

She was so choked up at just speaking his name that I knew I had to stop her before she lost it completely. I grabbed her by the arms and gave her a little shake to bring her back into focus.

"Hermione, what could you honestly have done? I trusted him just as much as you did. He was sweet, caring and charming. The boy who betrayed me betrayed you as well. He was a boy neither of us had ever met, and now he's gone and we're still here." I had to keep my voice firm so as not to become a blubbering mess like Hermione, because I was so close to doing it. I pulled her into a tight embrace so that we could comfort each other. "I will only forgive you if you will forgive me, because if you are in any way guilty, then I am equally so," she pulled back and gave me a watery smile and Ron tactfully took this moment to wrap his arms around her and we separated. I noticed for the first time that Hermione's dress, though in a tattered state similar to mine, was very familiar. _She was the one standing beside me in the crowd! _I felt giddy with all this knowledge, realizing how resigned to my fate I had been only hours earlier. The whole time I was surrounded by my friends and family.

Ron pulled her to him so that she could wipe her tears on his shirt. I gave him a mental thumbs up with my smile and beamed even brighter when he returned a mature expression without hint of a blush. I realized that I wasn't the only one who'd had to grow over the past few days.

I turned to Harry and was once again crushed by a strong pair of arms. I was so relieved to see him up and healthy, remembering the look of desperation in every inch of his worn out body. "You did it, Harry! You did it!" I exclaimed into his chest, practically hopping with pride.

"Couldn't have done it without you, you absolutely, out of your mind, mental witch! You're lucky my heart attack didn't finish me off after you went down!" Even thought he was flipping serious, we both burst out laughing, at the sheer joy of being able to.

We pulled away, still smiling. He raised a hand to lift some of my hair away from my forehead and exclaimed, "well where's your scar, huh? I was excited to finally be able to call someone else Scarhead!"I gave him a light hit to the arm. It was a good question though, how many other people in the world could claim surviving the Avada Kedavra curse? I suppose since I hadn't actually rebounded it like Harry had I didn't have any physical damage... I mean, to all intents and purposes it _had_ worked. Tom's soul was ripped out of its body and he died. _I guess there are different rules when you've got extra souls in you_.

"Where are mum and dad and everyone else?" I asked, turning to Ron. I felt an overwhelming desire to see my entire family together.

"Dad's at the ministry right now with Bill, Charlie and Percy. Fudge is going out of his mind, doing whatever he thinks he can to keep his position. He's claiming that the raid on the Malfoy's home was long in the workings and completely initialized by him and 'his' Auror Office, Scrimgeour is absolutely furious and making sure to talk to the papers before Fudge can get them. They're also having a fun time keeping all the arrested Death Eater's in line and finding rooms to hold them until they're questioned and tried," he explained and out of all of that I only caught maybe the first sentence.

"Percy?" I cried, unable to believe it. The rift between him and my parents was an open wound in our family's heart and it wasn't one that would heal with time.

"When he heard that you'd been taken, he came over to the Order immediately, Gin. We were all so torn apart after losing you, the twins didn't even take the mickey out of him. Mum's been a right mess though, she's with George now. Since she can't mother you at the moment, she's taking it all out on him," he gave me a knowing smile and I felt a pain in my chest at how much grief my family must have endured these last few days.

"Dumbledore told me about his ear," I explained and we all shared a disturbed look.

"To be honest, I think Fred's the most upset," I imagined how my brother must have taken it, such a close call for his other half. "He says it won't be as fun anymore now that we can tell them apart." I let out a snort of laughter. Typical.

"Ginny," Ron began, suddenly losing his light and happy tone. "Ginny, what happened? I mean, we were so sure you'd...uh, we'd lost you...Dumbledore said something about Tom Riddle's soul, but he wasn't exactly clear and he told us all to leave you with him after you woke..." he trailed off. All eyes were glued to me. _This is going to take some time..._

"Ron," I said with an exhausted smile, "you have no idea. But you will, soon enough. It's definitely going to take some time to explain it all and I think I'm going to want to do it with all of you around so that I only have to go through it once."He reached over and gave my shoulder an affectionate squeeze and I knew he understood. _Until then, _I thought.

"Alright, sis. We're on our way to find Dumbledore, he asked the three of us to come see him once things started to quiet down, are you going to come with us?"

"I've just been with him actually," _and I'm currently sneaking away from him, _"You three go, I'm going to look for mum and the twins," I explained and we each exchanged one last hug, Hermione held on a second longer, much calmed but still apologetic. When Harry and I let go, Ron and Hermione were a few paces away.

"Ginny, promise me you're never going to scare me like that again. I don't know what all of us would do if we lost you," he added quietly.

"I promise you, Harry Potter: never again," we shared a smile between the two of us. I paused for a moment before asking the question that had been digging at my mind. "Harry, you haven't by any chance seen Professor Lupin, have you?" I wanted to sound nonchalant, but as Harry gave me a knowing smile I couldn't help blush. Harry didn't question me, like the amazing boy that he was, he simply answered.

"Last I saw, he was with Snape. Around the corner," he explained, pointing behind him to the right, "in a room on the left. It's not exactly a pretty sight, they've been bringing those on our side who didn't make it," he finished grimly and I nodded my head in understanding.

I pulled away and made to walk in the direction he'd pointed, but before I left I turned back. "Harry?"

He was ready for it, "Don't tell Ron?" I ran back to him and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek as he burst out laughing. I looked over but Ron and Hermione were busy holding onto each other for comfort. They looked over as I walked away and we all waved goodbye for the time being.

I turned the corner and my good spirits were ebbing away. I did not want to enter this room and see those that had lost their lives tonight, but I forced myself to as it would be an insult to their memory not to pay my respects.

There were about fifteen unfortunate souls who had not made it to see the end of Voldemort's reign. Most looked as if they were simply asleep, their faces and clothes had been washed and their wounds covered. I saw a pair of House Elves busy cleaning the stained floor around the bodies and wondered if they'd been asked or were they doing it of their own accord? _I wonder if the Malfoy's had asked them? _

"Professor Snape?" I said quietly once I spotted the man. He turned slowly away from the disturbing sight of bodies lined up on the floor and gave me a looking over.

"Miss Weasley," he greeted, nodding his head in further acknowledgment before turning back to the unsettling sight before us. I took a few uneven steps towards his side and we stood in momentary silence. I was so full of conflicting emotions of joy and loss that my body responded by becoming numb. The blank faces of Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Hestia Jones and more whom I hadn't known or couldn't recognize, lay still on the floor in front of us. The blood in my veins was like ice. I had to look away from those faces I knew so well but looked so unfamiliar without their usual animation. All I wanted to do was silence the persisting thought in my head telling me that if I had done more, they might all have had a better chance to survive. I'd seen Kingsley just minutes before the end... I turned to Snape who I was surprised to find turned and looking back at me.

"As simple as it would be to shoulder the guilt of every fallen ally, it would consume you. They chose to fight until their very last breath, the same as you." I was too shaken to reply so I twitched my head as a sign that I accepted that he was right. Once again I was unperturbed by my mind being read because I caught an unusual expression in his eyes and realize that I had never before seen Severus Snape look... lost. _What is he going to now that the war is over? _I took a step towards him and did something I would have never thought I'd had the nerve to do: I hugged him.

"Thank you," I added, feeling his entire body go stiff in my arms. This was potentially my sixth or seventh one of the night and somehow I couldn't imagine when the last time he'd ever been given a hug. I wanted him to know I appreciated the sacrifices he must have made in being a spy for the Order. I didn't pull away immediately and he began to relax and eased his arms to my back, softly patting it in an awkward manner which I found very sincere and a bit sad, as if he'd never learned how to return an embrace. When I finally did pull back I swore there was a new glean to his eyes and a never-before-seen pink tinge to his unnaturally pale cheeks.

I opened my mouth to say something, though I didn't know what. "I―

"He's in the farthest room down the hall," he confided with the subtlest of smirks after regaining his stoic composure. No point in asking who he meant, his expression was enough. He had no misconception for why'd I'd entered this room in the first place. I beamed at him while he gave me a sceptical, one eyebrow raised, look. Before I turned to hurry out of the room, I decided to give him one more quick hug just because I knew it would fluster him and I would probably never in my life get the chance to do so again. I literally scurried out of the room before he could berate me.

I turned left to go down the long hallway, finding a ominous trail of blood leading where I wanted to be. It was as if something, or many things had been dragged across the marble floor. My stomach lurched as I continued down and found that the trail turned into the room I'd been directed to. I wasn't exactly pleased about that. Voices were coming from within and I jumped a foot in the air when a voice sounded out from behind me, "Excuse me, miss," I turned to see a young man of about twenty five dragging an inert, very dead body by the arm pits. I wordlessly moved aside while he shuffled passed me and I watched after him until the dead man's shoes disappeared into the room. I hadn't recognized either of them, but the now faded and disfigured mark on the dead one's left forearm gave me some warning as to what I would expect when I got in the room.

Like where I'd found Snape, the majority of the population inside were no longer living. _Unlike _where I'd found Snape, the room was a disorganized, gory mess. Bodies were left wherever there was space. None had been cleaned of blood or had their eyes closed. There were no mourners. This was where the fallen Death Eaters were being placed. I wondered briefly where the live ones were.

I had to keep my head raised for fear of catching one of the corpses staring at me with accusation from beyond the grave. I recognized many of the living who were mulling about, either identifying or reporting on each of the bodies. There were a great number of Ministry officials around who were not Order members or even Aurors who'd been in the final battle, though I wasn't surprised. Rufus Scrimgeour was standing in the farthest corner talking animatedly to a short, balding man who was taking down everything he said in a flurry of quill scratches. I remembered what my brother had said about Scrimgeour getting to the paper first. I recognized Scrimgeour's face and mane of strawberry-blond hair from the Daily Prophet, and knew that he was the head of the Auror Office, which is exactly why he was exceptionally furious with Fudges new proclamations. Dad reckoned that he was in line to become the next Minister for Magic if ever Fudge was made to step down. In light of certain events, I wondered if that was in the process of happening.

I had to move out of the way once more for the same man to exit the room. _Perhaps he's off to fetch more bodies_, I couldn't help myself from thinking as I tried to control the shuddering of my own body. There was a break in the crowd in front of me and I caught a glimpse of a still figure standing with his back to me across the room. My heart fluttered as I recognized the longish sandy brown hair and the self-conscious stance of the man I loved and sought.

I pushed through the opening of people, careful not to step on any of the dead, especially not with my unclad feet. When I got near him, I paused, despite every fibre of my being wanting to latch onto him and never let go. My eyes focused down to where I sensed his were as well. At his feet lay the body of Antonin Dolohov, the man Remus had killed. I wasn't sure if I should be interrupting his thoughts as it was my because of me he'd had to take a life. I stood silently behind him, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and be held in his arms; to be together.

As if sensing my presence, he turned around and we froze in a temporary tableau as his eyes caught mine.

"How did you―

"I could feel you behind me," he explained, giving me a tired, faint, but genuinely happy smile. I broke and took two great steps forward, burying my face in his chest as he wrapped both arms tightly around me, resting his chin on top of my head. I breathed in deeply, letting the shock of war slip into the background as I concentrated on nothing but the feel of me against his body.

"I'm sorry you had to kill him," I admitted, though not sorry he was dead.

"I didn't have to kill him," he replied and for a moment I was confused. "When I saw you there on the ground, saw that he was about to take you away from me again, I _wanted _to kill him. I'm am never going to regret saving your life, Ginevra Weasley. If you go, I go," somewhere in the back of my mind I heard myself saying the same thing to Tom.

"Remus," I whispered, feeling him listening, "what are we going to do now?" My conversation with Dumbledore came back to me.

He pulled back just enough so that he could look me in the eye. "We'll figure it out," he replied with a confident smile that finally reached up into his eyes. "We've got time," and then he leaned in, capturing my lips with his own. Everything else melted away. As I stood there in the arms of Remus Lupin, the only man I'd ever loved, I had nothing else to care about because it really dawned on me that he was right.

We had time.

**The End.**

Author's note: Holy bananas, that's it! That's the end. I'm not doing an epilogue, but sometime in the future I might consider a sequel or a prequel with Remus as the central character. I really hope that the ending wasn't anticlimactic in any way, it sort of gives you an idea of what's going to happen in the future. There was a lot of hugging in this chapter, I didn't know how to avoid that hahaha, of course everyone is going to want to hug! I really liked the idea of Ginny's sneak hug... I still giggle imagining Severus' expression as she runs away! I've always felt that he would have a soft spot for her because she would remind him of Lily. So, basically I just want to thank ALL of you who have been with me from the very start, this is definitely dedicated to you all. If it weren't for those people, this probably wouldn't have ever gotten to the end... none of my other stories have! But I have to thank Ginny and Remus too for just being such enjoyable characters, I just couldn't get enough of making their story, I wanted them to be together just as much as you did! I will be starting another Ginny/Remus story in the very near future, I think Fanfiction needs more of them! Anyways, I'm ranting now just because I'm so sad to be done this story (even though I'm going to start from chapter one and make it more full-bodied and just flesh out all the characters, I sort of did that, but I'm going to do it for SERIOUS now that it's done haha). I love you all, and would just absolutely be tickled pink if you could send some loving my way and review my wonderful baby, Against the Grain.

P.S. Just so I don't leave you hanging. Fudge is going to get canned, Michael is going to live, Ginny is going to get private tutoring from Dumbledore in recognition of all the hell she had to put up with (she will graduate the same year as Ron) and her and Remus will be together then. Um, OH YEAH! The Malfoy's are going to live happily ever after, Draco and Ginny are going to become friends much to Narcissa's delight. Lucius is going to spend a year in Azkaban but will get out on good behaviour because he's going to become an essential part in destroying the remains of Voldemort's influence. Bellatrix is going to rot in Azkaban with her husband and brother-in-law. Erm, that's about it for the immediate future. Can't give it all away in case I DO wrote a sequel haha. Hugs and kisses. xo.


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